A.A. asks from Chicago, IL on January 27, 2011
Anyone Done a Domestic Adoption?
My husband and I would like to consider domestic adoption to add to our family. Have any of you had experience with this? Where to start? How it works? How much it costs? Rules? Basically any resources or experiences would be helpful--we are just starting to consider this. Thanks!
R.L. answers from Phoenix on January 27, 2011
hi there, i have not adopted but i am an adoptee! I think it is an amazing decision for you to make. My only advice would be to keep it a closed adoption. Mine was closed and i decided to look for my birth mother at age 28. I feel it was up to me to make the decision to meet her and not vice versa. I have 2 cousins who are adopted and have open adoptions. The biological family to me seems to have a little to much contact with them and i think once the birth mother makes that decision, she needs to let go and have trust in God that she made the right choice. She doesn't need to be there for every milestone and birthday...that is for the childs' parents (adoptive parents) to enjoy and witness... just my thoughts! good luck!
1 mom found this helpful
R.K. answers from Odessa on January 27, 2011
We adopted through an agency in Texas. First of all I would decide if you want an open or closed adoption. Most agencies, now days, do open adoptions. This means you have some contact with the birth mother. We chose our agency because they were affiliated with the Church of Christ. Our agency figures cost based on your income. Ours was about $15,000. Here is alink to a website that I found very helpful during our adoption process.
Our daughter was 2 days old when we picked her up. It took almost 3 years from the time we put our paperwork in until the time we got "the call" to come pick her up. If you have any more questions feel free to send me a message.
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M.R. answers from Chicago on January 27, 2011
I have not been a part of the adoption triad BUT...I highly recommend you check out the Cradle.
It is a nonprofit organization located in Evanston, IL. I have worked with them in the past in community education with their volunteers and cannot say enough great things about them. They have pretty much everything there that you would need: mental/emotional counseling, attorneys, medical personnel, etc.
M.P. answers from Chicago on January 29, 2011
This question is very timely as I am holding my 3 week old adopted daughter in my arms as I type this (how quickly you learn to multitask).
We went through Angel Adoptions in Cary, Illinois and would recommend that you check them out. You actually do your homestudy through Luthern Family Services, Angel markets your profile and facilitates the introduction, etc. It was a little less than 12 months from when we signed until our baby was born. Angel only does domestic infant adoptions and the vast majority are open.
We went through some of the most stressful times in our lives during this process but it was all worth it. Maggie is a beautiful baby and we are the luckiest people on earth to be able to call her our daughter.
Another poster suggested Sunny Ridge and I would echo that. We went to a very informative orientation with them and were very impressed. They do both domestic and international adoptions so you get a good overview of both possibities. When we went, there was a one year waiting list to even sign with them. Not sure if this is still the case.
I wish you all the best in your decision and in your journey to adopt. It was the best decision we ever made. Let me know if you have any questions!
S.W. answers from Amarillo on January 28, 2011
You could start with your local children youth and family office, state agency or religious organization. Once you decide which organization there will be a background check, financial check, health check (physical), house check and others that may have been added. The fees maybe on a sliding scale depending on the agency and what you make.
The adoption process can take anywhere from three months to three years as it depends on what age child you want and what is available.
Good luck to you and wanting to give a child a home that is already here.
The other S.
E.L. answers from Washington DC on January 27, 2011
My friend adopted her 2 children. Her "paper work" process of applications and interviews took several months. After that she waited about 6 months for her son, and 2 for her daughter. She basically had to wait for a birth mom to choose her and her husband. She said the most important thing to look into is the reputation of the company. Is it well known? Are you charging for the services provided or for the child? Her experience with the birth moms was different each time, one is involved in updates, one is not. Try looking through your church if you attend one. Many have their own adoption agencies.
B.K. answers from Chicago on January 27, 2011
These are two places you can go and start to look at info. There is just so much involved. We adopted through Sunnyridge, but I know people who went through the Cradle and had great experiences.
Costs can be quite different depending on how you adopt. I'm not sure about rules..... you'll need a lawyer involved of course.
If you have specific questions you can message me.
L.C. answers from Chicago on February 01, 2011
Hi there - I am currently on an adoption waiting list with www.adopthelp.com. They have a very short average wait time - six months. I live in Wheaton, IL, but they are a facilitator based in CA. I chose them because they are very single friendly (I'm single). I had several recommendations from others for them. I interviewed them over the phone and sent some questions via e-mail. I just loved how enthusiastic they were and am not at all uncomfortable that they are out of state. Locally, I found agencies to be very negative on singles adopting - after infertility treatments, I only wanted to be with an agency or facilitator that was very supportive and enthusiastic. I did my homestudy through Lutheran Child and Family Services in Addison - loved them and it went very fast.
My adoption has taken longer than average (now waiting 17 months) because I'm single and I'm being gender specific - I want a girl. How long you wait can be dependent on many things - what races you're open to, how open you're willing to be with the birth mom, if you're gender specific, if you're open to adopt a baby whose birth mom used drugs, etc. Also, sometimes it's just a crapshoot. With open adoption, you often have to wait to be chosen by a birth mom - so you just wait to be picked. That's the worst part of it if you ask me. In the old days, birth moms just placed their babies and the agency decided on the family.
My adoption costs are estimated at about $28K - $33K. Of course, there is a $13K tax credit, so my end costs will be $13K less. One thing to understand is that you don't have to come up with the $ all at once - usually you make several payments around a few thousand $, so you have time to save up. I'm paying for my adoption via savings and a home equity loan.
The tax credit is set to expire at the end of 2012. In order to qualify for the credit, you have to close on your adoption by the end of 2012.