24 answers

Anyone Born and Raised Catholic and Are No Longer ?

I was born and raised in the Catholic church. My husband was raised Methodist. Got married in Catholic church, got daughter baptised in catholic church and are now seeking to have our baby boy baptised too. The parish has a different pastor then when my 4 yo was baptised. I do not go to church very often - only occasionally and the times I have gone I have not bothered putting in an envelope.. Apparently the priest refuses to baptise our now 10 month old cause he needs to see proof that we are indeed attending church - ie he wants us to from now on to submit our envelopes (with or without money - he says) consistently for 3 months. My husband is irked by this as well as I. Its causing strife amongst me and my parents as well as me and my husband. He is not much into catholicism and even more so after this (only solidifying his theory that all the church wants is money) and I dont want to force him to get our son baptised in the catholic church. This whole thing has caused me to question the catholic religion and seek other churches.
Looking for why you left the catholic church and where you ended up going.

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So What Happened?™

Just to clarify a few things - the church we wanted to have our son baptised in is my parents church in which both are very active members of. In fact the father knows them by name personally which is why I was so surprised by his response. And yes, I was told that I diidnt necessarily have to put money in the envelopes but I question if that is really true or that if I turn in my envelope with no money in it will I be gettting a call telling me they havent seen any monetary donations from us or not enough. Really, do you think the priest would actually have the gumption to tell me that I need to include money in those envelopes??? I doubt it.

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i love how they think it will save an innocent baby but are ok to not do it if the parents don't show up and put envelopes in, I went to catholic k-college, got my daughter baptized, believe in a greater being but not the catolic religion, its too money hungry and when you look into the history people changed a lot of the rules and beliefs on their own, ex. priests getting married, woman being in power....

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Grrr, can't IMAGINE why American Catholics are leaving the church in hoards!

Find another Catholic church you like, they're not ALL like this.

Or go with another denomination. I don't think God agrees that Catholicism is the only REAL Christian Church.

Psh.

:(

(Yeah, I'm a Catholic.)

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I'm sorry, I'm confused. Didn't you just say the pastor said the envelopes don't have to have money in them? If all they wanted was money, why would the pastor explicitly point out "with or without money?" Seems like your husband is seeking justification to pull your family away from the Catholic Church.

ETA: By the way, when I was in college I attended Mass for 4 years at a parish and NEVER put a dime in my envelopes. I didn't have any money left after covering my tuition and housing/food needs. When I graduated and we went to my parish to get married, they didn't ask me to donate. They had seen me there every Sunday for 4 years and we sat down and planned our ceremony. The envelope is just proof of attendance/participation in the life of the parish, which is centered around the Sacrifice of the Mass.

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I was raised Catholic, am still Catholic, and I LOVE being Catholic. :-) I agree with what a couple of the other ladies wrote... Since the priest said your envelopes could be handed in with or without money, he is obviously not trying to get your money. He wants you to attend and to raise your child in the faith. So many people have their kids baptized but never bring them to church. There is a great lack of understanding among Christians of all faiths regarding what baptism is and what it does. The fact that many Catholic churches offer a class for parents prior to having their children baptized is a good thing. The fact that the pastor at your church wants you to be consistently attending church before having your baby baptized is a good thing also. It makes sense that he (the pastor) would want that. In my experience with folks who are disheartened by their experience as Catholics, so much of it stems from a lack of knowledge about what the Church teaches as opposed to what other people (especially non-Catholics or non-practicing Catholics) believe the Church teaches. Take some time to learn more about the Church before deciding that it is money-hungry, etc, etc. Personally, I would never leave the Church for another one because of what I do know and understand. Sure there are many issues of concern, but that is because of the human factor! :-) Any time you have people involved, there are going to be sins, mistakes, etc. Good luck to you and your family! God bless you.

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If you don't believe in the religion, then why would you want to have your child Baptised? I'm being completely serious here. Either you are someone who believes in the practice or you don't. If you do- go to Church and practice the religion so that the Sacrament has some meaning. If you don't attend Church and do not live in that manner, then don't bother with the Baptism.

Are you looking to pick another church just to have your child Christened? In which case if you want it to look and feel like a Catholic Church, try an Episcopal Parish. Don't be surprised, though, if they would like you to be a practicing member as well before they welcome your child into their community.

If you are doing this more for your parents, then have them make the request in their Parish and have your child Baptized there. If they are long-term members there (especially if they are active) then the Pastor may be willing to Baptise their grandchild as a favor to them.

PS- the priest said with or without money, so your husband's argument is pretty flimsy. We attend Church weekly and still had to submit our "envelop number" on the Baptism Request form. They checked how often we were attending. We also had to submit that information when we were asked to be Godparents.

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Born and raised a Catholic, went to church every Sunday no matter what until 18 years old. No longer Catholic and I left because of the hypocrisy, recycled and uninspired homilies, lack of truly studying the bible and God's word during mass, and the disgusting handling of priest pedophilia. I truly don't mean to offend practicing Catholics, but these are my personal reasons.

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I denounced Catholicism when I was 11. The hypocrisy in the Catholic church is rampant. I also remember when I was forced to go into confession at 10 and I had nothing to confess, so I lied in confession. How screwed up is that? I never went back. Their teachings that all will go to hell except the Catholics was the final nail in the coffin for me. My grandmother was a cafeteria catholic - in other words, she would pick and choose what she liked and disregard the rest. I can't do that with my faith.

I would say have your son baptized Methodist. My husband is Methodist and that is what we did.

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I am Catholic. This is what gives our religion a bad name. Tell the priest that you know that he is required to baptize your baby regardless. IF he refuses than you can either contact your bishop or just go to another church. Please tell your husband that it is this priest (and he is a human, just like any other minister in any other religion) that wants the money and not "the church".

If you want a vacation in Ft. Lauderdale, FL, then just contact Fr. O'Reilly at St. David's Catholic church. He'll baptise your baby - you just have to attend the parents' class in advance. It might seem like an inconvenience but honestly - you should know what you are doing and you could attend class on Tuesday and baptize on Sunday - a one week vacation. There is no fee involved.

St. Sebastian's Church, also in Ft. Lauderdale, actually will not take any money for the performing of sacraments. Weddings, funerals, are free - and you don't pay to have a mass offered for someone - free, but no mass card is given. Oh, and you do have to pay to rent the hall if you want your reception there.

Good luck! C.

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Yup, I am surprised and not suprised at the same time. They want your parish "membership" but I am shocked they wouldn't be more worried about your child's mortal soul.

My husband and I are Catholic - I went to Catholic school for 13 years - and we have baptized our children Catholic. We plan to have them recieve their First Eucharist in the Catholic Church and are doing religious ed as part of this. We are not rigorous church attenders. We plan to go more now that our daughter is going to make her first communion. After that, we plan to attend the Unitarian Meetings near us and have our kids do Sunday school there, unless they express a preference to attend the Catholic mass.

I do feel the part of a hypocrit here, but my husband and I are so NOT in sync with the Church for a variety of reasons. I feel like we owe it to our daughters to share their heritage with them and give them the background and experiences to practice Catholocism. At the same time, there are many things we just can't identify with or justify, and I feel the need to share that with them too.

So, the sort answer to your post is to look at Unitarian congregarions. All my research suggests they focus more on spirituality and religion as different ways of addressing faith and take a global world appreciation of religion rather than adhereing to any one dogma. Lots of "mixed" religion couples do this.

I also have a friend who attends an Episcopal Church. They are very simlar to Catholic, and that might work for you to feel comfortable in a more traditional but open church setting.

All Catholic Churches are not created equal either - our very conservative diosese is very difficult to take. But we attend a more open and friendly Selesian-run church (non-diosocean) and I grew up with Jesulits and Sisters of Mercy who were wonderful.

******

Added: My SIL had her child baptized in her mother's church, since she doesn't really attend church, so that's another idea - go to a parent's parish.

By no means do I mean to discourage you from practicing your faith, and I also understand the church's desire to have parishoners take priority over people who don't attend (they do the envelope thing for prioritizing students for a Catholic school near us too.) Just sharing some options :)

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