Any Suggestions on How to Get Tangles Out of Daughters Hair?

Updated on February 12, 2008
S.M. asks from Minneapolis, MN
29 answers

Every night after her bath we have the same battle with our 3 year old daughter trying to get the tangles out of her hair. She must have a very sensitive scalp because she screams and cries and runs away, making it for a very stressful, chaotic event each evening. We have used Johnson's No More Tangles shampoo and the detangling spray which work fairly well, but what I would like to know if any of you have any tricks on how to get your daughters hair combed out after you wash it. We'll try anything at this point!

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G.

answers from Minneapolis on

Pantene conditioners have silicone in the formulation that makes the hair slippery. I recommend to all my friends that have daughters with long hair.

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T.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would try to use a conditioner in the tub and while it is on her hair, brush through it. Then after you rinse, it should be much easier to brush.

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S.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

I had the same problem with Johnson's "No More Tangles". Now I just put a conditioner in her hair after shampooing (whatever I'm using-- Suave, etc.) Her hair is SO easy to comb through now and looks healthier too. Good luck!

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R.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have very fine hair and always had long hair as a child growing up...it always got in knots FAST when it was washed because it was so fine. I still remember how much it hurt to get my hair combed out. But, also took note on what my Mom used to do to help the process and it seemed to work for me back then, so I also now do it with my daughter too. And, can see she also is finally coming around and its working for her too.

After a certain age, little girls with longer hair will need to start using conditioner. Make sure to use a good creme conditioner after shampooing. And try to use it mostly on the ends, where damage and the wear and tear is (usually the culprit of tangles). When I was growing up my Mom used a brand called 'Tame'. It wasn't a light weight conditioner (don't use a heavy weight one as it can weigh down fine hair and make it look greasy) and it aided with combing out later. She also would always use Johnson's No Tears De-Tangler spray when she knew tangles were going to be a problem when combing out. Use this spray mainly on the ends where knots tend look like they will be happening. FYI, if you spray a bunch up by the scalp, it will tend to make the hair look greasy instead of just washed.

DEFINITELY work slowly. And, if possible use the larger spaced comb style or a hair pick.

DEFINITELY also first get the knots/tangles out at only the very ends of the hair first - the last 1/2 inch to 1 inch. Get those knots out first (they're usually the worst). Then, continue up another inch or so - getting those knots out next. All the while, use slow, smoothly combing through to the end of the hair tip.

Plan plenty of time for combing your daughter's hair out...especially if she's already so anxious about the process. Maybe do it on the nights you sit down and watch a fun program together. Kids sometimes get side tracked and forget what you're actually doing back there if they get into a good movie at the same time. It will take some time to change the sensitivity that your daughter now has developed to the process by the sounds of it. So plan to be extremely slow and patient for at least a few months with the process. If you get overanxious about it, so will she. After more exposure to the process, she will get more desensitized and her scalp will begin to get used to the feeling.

Also, doesn't hurt to use a little 'princess power'... let her know that Princesses are able to get their hair really long because they comb it all the time. Something I remeber hearing about (way back when in a cartoon possibly) -- that if you brush your hair 50 times a day, it will help you hair to be healthy and grow really long. Just another trick that I've used on my daughter that also seemed to work. :)

Best of Luck!
Renee

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S.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

There are a lot of good suggestions here, but I'd like to add a couple:
Brush or comb it before she gets in the tub to wash it. It's a lot easier to brush dry hair and it's less damaging to the hair itself.
Try to wash the hair without piling it up on top of her head or twisting it everywhere--the less you move her hair the less likely it is to get tangled.

And, the one I used most myself when I had long hair that tangled easily, use a wide comb or hair pick while the conditioner is still in her hair.

Good luck!
S.

PS On your daughter's behalf, please don't do to her what my mom did to me: I got a "pixie cut" at about age 6. I looked like a boy and I HATED it. I still can't stand my hair shorter than shoulder length!

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S.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughters both have hair that tangles easily, though one has curly hair and the other stick straight! Anyway, I always condition their hair after every washing and then I comb it through with a wide tooth comb while the conditioner is in. Then I dry it carefully with a towel, so as not to re-tangle it. The conditioner really helps make it easier to comb. Good Luck!

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P.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I put a bit of my own conditioner in her hair and that helps HUGE. We also start at the bottom of the hair and work out the big tangles before doing it from the bangs down to the bottom. And, occasionally, when I've worked out the big tangles, she gets to do her own hair.

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K.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

I've had the same problems with both sons' hair. Infusium 23 leave-in conditioner works really well after a shampoo -- just squirt some in your hand, rub it all over your hands, and then rub your hands over her hair. You can also use it on dry hair.

Also it helps using a really good moisturizing shampoo and conditioner -- right now I'm using my ridiculously expensive Kiehl's stuff on my boys, since it actually works to make their hair softer and less tangle-y.

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B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have uber curly hair, and so does my boys. My oldest keeps his short, but my youngest has longer hair and it tangles easily too. Buy a wider tooth comb, dont use a baby comb or a find tooth, it will trap every single tangle nad pull each little strand of hair.. .and that HURTS!

Buy a wide tooth comb and start at the bottom and work your way up, literally an inch at a time. Once you get the wide tooth comb through it, the finer tooth comb should go right through it.

Antoher trick I learned with my hair is to spray the J&J No more tangles on it in the shower, then rinse it quick. It combs much easier after that.

But starting at the bottom and working your way up with a wide tooth comb is your best bet.

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C.K.

answers from Madison on

We put conditioner in while our son is taking his bath and comb the tangles out BEFORE rinsing his hair. I use my own conditioner which happens to be Arbonne Intelligence and it works really well. It's safe and gentle on him, too.

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D.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

i have found suave kids shampoo to really help with tangles in the hair. after bath, my girls hair seems to have less tangles when brushing. i also use the tangle spray from johnsons on dry hair.

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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

I had the same issue with my daughter. I started using my regular adult Conditioner. I just use a bit and make sure not to get it in her eyes and it hasn't been a problem. I've even found that I don't have to use it every time I wash her hair (every other night), and it will be soft on the times when I don't use it. Good luck!

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A.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

This is what I do with my hair. I am assuming that your daughter has long hair, I do too. What I do is when I put conditioner in, I brush out my hair then. That way the conditioner helps to keep the tangles from getting too bad and they comb out easier. Then after I get out, it is much easier to brush out then too. Another suggestion is if she is old enough, is to let her help brush her hair. It might not be painfull she just doesn't want someone else doing it. At one point it might have hurt and she remembers this. Who knows. Hope this helps. Good luck.

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B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I put "stay-in conditioner" in her hair before I wash it and then make sure to brush all the tangles out before washing it. Also, after the wash, brush from the bottom up - edges first to get those tangles out, mid-section and lastly the hair closest to the scalp. This works for us. Good Luck.

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S.T.

answers from Minneapolis on

I am a mother of 4 girls and one boy all with thick hair ! I used no more tangles as well and I remember the ordeal. I used to find something that they really enjoy such a favorite movie, reading a book, coloring beading a cheerio necklace out of cheerios and shoestring licorice that they get to eat after it is all done...video game etc. that they get to do as a special treat while you comb out their hair. It helps them to look forward to their special activity, helps to get their mind off of a normally unpleasant duty. You might find something creative such as letting her or him brush a stuffed animal or a dolls long hair while you brush out theirs.
Also, it really helps to use conditioner after you shampooo and use no more tangles too.
I always made it a reward for them to go to their Dad after their bath in their head wrapped turban style for him to unwrap their terry cloth turbans and smell how pretty their hair smelled then they could come sit in front of me sitting on the couch to brush from the ends up to the roots in very small strands. After most of the hair is brushed out, I would allow them to brush their own hair and make sure it was all smooth. They would brush even harder than I did, but no tears when they did their own hair ! It depends on tach of their personalities and age etc.
Try it and let me know...If you try to get their mind off of the unpleasantries with a pleasant experience, it really helps....
you know the old saying that praise goes along way !

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H.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I am also a stylist and fine hair is always tangled. I would recommend NOT brushing wet hair. It is at its most vunerable when wet and you could be doing more damage that good. Unless your child hair is really dirty I would not wash it every day. Our own sebum and oil is the best for our hair and brushing it when DRY to distirbute the oils is best. If it is smelly hair just rinse and condition the ends. I know it sounds extreme but the surfactanst in most cheap and childrens shampoo is harsh on baby hair.

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A.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter has very thick, curly hair, and I have the same issue. What I do is put the conditioner in, work it through her hair, leave it for about ten minutes, and then brush it through with the conditioner still in. Usually the comb goes straight through. After that, I rinse the conditioner out, dry her hair and comb through again. It never fails to work.

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D.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter is three and screams too. We started using a shampoo that has a conditioner in it too (loreal?) and that has helped. And then we make sure we brush her hair right after the bath while it's still wet. It is much easier that way! Good luck. I know how frustrating it can be!

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B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

Try regular adult shampoo and conditioner
or
let her hair dry and in the morning comb it out
or
give her a shorter haircut like a bob or something
or
use a pick and always start at the ends and work your way towards the scalp

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J.

answers from Minneapolis on

I understand this battle too. I would suggest using a comb with wide teeth but to lessen the battle let her do it. If she is in control then the battle with you is gone. She will not be able to do all of it right away so you may need to help after she has done what she can but by the time she is 4 you won't have to do much. Give her a choice - she can try or you can do it. This works wonders with my just 4 year olds. : )

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A.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

Conditioner. Our daughter was the same way, constant battles to do anything with her hair. Then we started using conditioner in the bath and using a wide comb pick to comb her hair in the tub with the conditioner to show her how it was helping "make her hair longer and prettier" (what we told her to help) then after the rinse and after the bath she would occassionally let us comb through her wet hair with the same comb because she new that one wouldn't hurt. Eventually she let us comb it after every bath and that's as far as we've gotten but it's progressed a lot. Good Luck - Small steps foward are still good.

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C.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I agree with most of what I've seen here: conditioner, detangler, wide-tooth comb, start at the ends and work up. The only thing I have to add is that I always hold the section of hair that I'm combing. I hold it quite tightly and near the scalp. This keeps it from pulling little strands from the scalp while I comb, which is what makes it really hurt.

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M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I joined this site just to find out about hair struggles! My daughter is 9 and we're still figuring it out. I did have her hair short when she was younger but is now emphatic that it must grow out. Her hair is so fine that it won't stay in a ponytail or a braid and it's just wild. I do all the things that were mentioned in the other posts, No More Tears, Infusium 23 leave-in spray, only wash hair once or twice a week, brush from bottom up, use the wide paddle brush (Aveda), and I use Bumble and Bumble intensive conditioner once a week. I didn't know about princess power, so I'll try that, too. But I guess the main thing that I want to say, is that it becomes a part of your life, your family routine. My 13 year old son now says, "Well, it's Alena's hair time..." and we just laugh. I don't worry too much about it, but I make sure she knows that her hair has to be brushed at least once a day. And when you're tired and she's crying, just remember it really is a blessing that this is your problem and not a child with no hair! Smile, take a break, make a joke (or ask your daughter to make one!) and then continue.

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K.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

S. ,
We also have battles at our house when it comes to combing hair. I am the mother of four girls ages, 9,7,5,2.5. Unfortunately I have no magic trick to send you just some ideas and my heartfelt understanding as to how challenging and frustrating it can be.
When I wash the girls hair I always use conditioner. I did purchase recently a conditioner from a salon that is "heavy duty" and really helps. I also use spray in no tangles. The one I am using presently is sold through the Skincare, Health and Wellness company Arbonne. It is fabulous and is actually part of there Suncare line so it helps protect the girls hair in the summer. I have also experimented with different brushes. Some pull less than others. Another tip, start at the ends and gradually work up. Little bits at a time rather than from the top and pull down.
It will get better! My now 9 year old will spend hours brushing her hair. I never thought I'd see the day and it gives me hope for the other three.
Best of Luck!

Kathy M

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E.T.

answers from Minneapolis on

We had hair-tangle issues similar to yours--and with three girls, we ended up trying an awful lot of stuff. Then we received a free sample in the mail that changed everything. For the past couple years we've been pretty much addicted to what we call, "the pink stuff". Sunsilk Hydra TLC 24/7 Creme (in the pink squirty-top bottle)is amazing. I've never used anything that detangles like this. And it works for all my girls; it's non-greasy enough for my eldest daughter's fine straight hair, smoothing enough for my poofy-flyaway-hair middle daughter, and light enough to not make my youngest lose her curl. After a few succesful uses, and coming to trust this product really DID work, the girls' fretting, fussing and crying was all over. Lots of our friends tried it and love it as well. I found online that you can order a sample for yourself: http://www.gethairapy.com/samples/ Hope it works as well for you as it did for us!

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S.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I was a hair stylist for 8 years and I know most of the shampoos you buy from stoes like walmart have wax in them and they build up and cause tangels. I would try using Paul Mitchel Baby Dont Cry shampoo. After you rinse that out I would put a light regular conditioner in her hair and comb it out in the tub with the conditioner in her hair that way when she gets out most of the tangels will be out already. Hope this helps. Also spray leave in conditioners would do wonders.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

We use the bath and body brand detangler. It is a little more expensive but I really like it.

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

My first question is, why are you washing her hair every night? As one friend of mine said, "It's not like we're pig farmers." (I don't know, maybe your are...) Her hair is getting dry and damaged from daily shampooing, causing snarls. This time of year, even daily bathing for toddlers is awfully h*** o* their skin. Even if you feel the need for daily bathing, put her hair up and avoid using soap in bathing her except when she's genuinely dirty. You should see an improvement pretty soon.

Also, when your comb out her hair, do you use a wide tooth comb, start at the bottom of the hair and gradually work your way up? This will help with the pain and the yanking..

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D.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

We had the same problem! Sensitive little heads of very beautiful hair! We got a wide paddle brush, and brush it out while the cream rinse is still in- then rinse it out- and that helps tremendously! We used to make up stories to keep the girls distracted too- we made up a character -called "king snarl"- a large rat that was the mouse king from the story of "The Nutcracker" and he used to like to make "rat's nests" in her hair when she wasn't looking- she had a fascination and large collection of nutcrackers- we found her a stuffed one to sleep with. The adventures we came up with each night for our characters was so much fun! If we'd had "issues" that day we'd have "Princess Clara" have the same problem, and we'd explore it in a non-threatening and non-accusatory fashion, and she'd often come up with a suprisingly deep understanding and behavior resolution! We used a lot of good humor! It became a nightly ritual that we looked forward to instead of "the nightly torture session". Also- satin pillowcases help prevent tangles too! Our grandmothers were right!

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