51 answers

Any Sahm's Use a Cleaning Service?

I've been meaning to ask this for awhile but a previous post about feeling like nothing gets done and a poster suggesting a house cleaner , reminded me. Years ago, when I only had 2 children & worked P/T , we had a cleaning service come every 2 wks. I started feeling really guilty about it & quit the service, even though they were great. Now, I'm a F/T SAHM & I'm feeling overwhelmed, at times. My oldest son has special needs & takes up a lot of time & has lots of medical needs, my middle son is starting to get into more extra curriculars, & youngest has delays & has therapies. So, do any of you SAHM have cleaning service & do you feel guilty about it? Also, do you admit to your friends & family ? I would like to add that if your're a working mom & want to answer , go for it. I can tell you though , if I worked , I would definitely have a someone clean for me. I don't know how you all do it.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

We can afford it, I guess I'm just kinda cheap & feel that if I can do it for free, why pay someone. My husband is all for it, also. He wrks 60 + hrs a week & it' s the last thing he wants to do when he's home on the weekends. Thanks, everyone. I'm feeling , less guilty. ;)

Featured Answers

Its nobody's business,
You don't have to tell anyone.
Its private.
You have a special needs child and other kids.
That is busy.
Do what you you need to do and if you can afford it, why not.

7 moms found this helpful

Yes, I have one. I feel a tad guilty but not really. I love knowing that the house gets top to bottom cleaned all at the same time. When I do it myself it is so piecemeal that it never really feels all clean. And I am just not that thorough with it either.

I do get some flack from people but I really don't care. Its not like we cannot afford it and its a hardship. Don't worry what other people think.

6 moms found this helpful

SAHM's have a harder job than working moms by far. Us working mother's at least get a break from the house and the kids, not that it is a good thing, but everyone needs some kind of adult time. DO NOT feel guilty if getting one works for you If I could stomach paying someone to do it, I would!!

6 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Its nobody's business,
You don't have to tell anyone.
Its private.
You have a special needs child and other kids.
That is busy.
Do what you you need to do and if you can afford it, why not.

7 moms found this helpful

SAHM's have a harder job than working moms by far. Us working mother's at least get a break from the house and the kids, not that it is a good thing, but everyone needs some kind of adult time. DO NOT feel guilty if getting one works for you If I could stomach paying someone to do it, I would!!

6 moms found this helpful

Yes, I have one. I feel a tad guilty but not really. I love knowing that the house gets top to bottom cleaned all at the same time. When I do it myself it is so piecemeal that it never really feels all clean. And I am just not that thorough with it either.

I do get some flack from people but I really don't care. Its not like we cannot afford it and its a hardship. Don't worry what other people think.

6 moms found this helpful

Why would you EVER feel the need to explain something like this to anyone??? If you can afford it, DO IT! I think you deserve it...hummmm, what do you think?? :) If anyone asks or finds out, (it is none of their business!), and they do not see for themselves all that you have on your plate, well, just ignore and switch the conversation to something else...like if they work (and actually get time to breath and MAKE money while away from home, or if they have a sitter come over EVER so they have time to themselves). Don't you ever feel guilty about something that can make your life easier...it is the silly people who refuse help!!

5 moms found this helpful

Who cares if you NEED one or can justify WHY you have one...... if you want one and you can afford it.... then do it and don't feel guilty.

You know why I have someone else change the oil in my car? Because I DON'T WANT TO DO IT MYSELF and I have budgeted that into my expenses.

Could I? Sure. I could learn. Are there people who (*gasp*) change their own oil? Sure. Are there people who could but (*gasp*) fritter away money at the Penzoil store letting someone else do it while they leisurely read a magazine in the waiting room? Yep. Do I care? NOPE.

Same thing with the house. It doesn't matter if you are a stay at home mom, work at home mom, work outside the home, single mom, dual-income working parents with a full time nanny, 1 kid, 19 kids (actually, I don't think the Duggers have a cleaning service....lol).....

If you can and it works for your family then you should.

Think of it this way. The 3 or 4 hours it takes the cleaning service to clean your house are 3 or 4 hours you can spend time with your kids, kiss your hubby, take a shower, play music, exercise, cook - whatever else you want to do for your and your family.

Just my $0.02

5 moms found this helpful

Goodness. If I *could*, I would.

Seriously. Do it. Leave a good tip. Don't feel guilty.

5 moms found this helpful

Absolutely, every time we can afford it.

The best part is that the whole house gets cleaned at once, instead of in fits and spurts like when I do it.

No, I do not feel guilty at all, so long as I have it in my budget.

4 moms found this helpful

I totally want one and when we can afford, I am getting one! Twice a month hardly seems extravagant to me and of course with special needs in the home, you should be the last person to think it frivolous! I am always scrambling to keep up with two little ones and one on the way, and I really want one and would feel blessed and not ashamed at all!!! I have a friend who is pretty well off, has no kids and has someone everyday, I think that would be GREAT! Go for it :D

3 moms found this helpful

I am a SAHM of two boys and I have a cleaning service come every 2 weeks. Some of my friends/family know and some don't. I do not think it is something that needs to be explained to anyone but at the same time it is not anything to be embarrased about. We have to skip on other things so that we can have someone come in and clean but I feel it is totally worth it. Being a Mom is a HARD job.

3 moms found this helpful

Being a SAHM to kids without special needs can be hard enough! You sound like you have ALOT on your plate, and if you can afford it I say by all means go for it so you can devote more time to your kids, and YOURSELF!!!!!
I wouldn't mention it to anyone, it's no one else's business what goes in your household! If it makes life easier for you, and gives you more time to breathe, it's a good thing!
I've been rolling the idea around in my head too for awhile. Mom's carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, why not get a break sometimes?

3 moms found this helpful

I agree with the first poster, you need one with your situation. I stay home, and I wish I could have one, but we just can't afford it. Don't feel guilty. there is nothing wrong with getting a little extra help

3 moms found this helpful

If you can afford it, do it!!! Like you, I was feeling guilty about wanting someone to come in and clean while I was a SAHM. I justify it now by substitute teaching. My theory is this - I'd rather go up to school and spend the day with the kids while someone comes to my house and cleans. I break even by the end of the day, so really, I only "need" to sub once every 2 weeks :)

2 moms found this helpful

With your situation you have every right to have one (you would even not in your situation). Your oldest has a lot of time commitment as well as your other two sons. Every 2 weeks isn't like having a stay in maid lol, but with what you described I would say to go for it again and don't feel bad. You need to have a sanitized house (depending on your oldests medical needs) and if you can afford help that is great so when you have time you can spend it playing. I work now (get paid to go to college full time) and can't afford it. If I could, I would have a cleaning crew every 2 weeks or so just so that I could get a deep clean without having my whole day gone.

2 moms found this helpful

I work outside of home, but will answer, b/c two of my friends who are stay at home moms do have a cleaning lady. It is a lifesaver... I need to get one, but am cheap. I get to work from home 1 day a week which is my "cleaning day" and groceries, so I can be more available to interact w/ my kids in evenings and weekends. If I coudn't do that I would definitely hire someone... Don't feel guilty - you work hard and your kids need you especially b/c of their more demanding needs. You are more than entitled to some help : ) If you can afford it - go for it : )

2 moms found this helpful

"It takes a village..." Sounds like your priorities are with your children/family. A clean house also represents you care and may even have a positive impact on you and your children's mental and physical health. Hire the service and quit the guilt.

Dispel the guilt knowing that you are contributing to the economy and employing someone to boot.

2 moms found this helpful

Hi.
Stay at home moms have a full-time job, even without house cleaning. I am a SAHM to three kids, and have a cleaner comes once every two weeks. It helps me keep up with the major stuff, and I do the day to day stuff. My feeling is that if hiring this help is within your family's budget, do it. No guilt necessary.

2 moms found this helpful

Totally cannot afford it but would LOVE it if I could. I have a neighbor whose husband makes alot of money. She is a SAHM has 2 kids in school full time, and a cleaning service. Good for her! Why not?

2 moms found this helpful

when we can afford it - yes...right now? no...when hubby gets a job again - yes...

I volunteer at school, I do projects with the boys and we have Tae Kwon Do and baseball....sometimes I am soo busy- you'd think I was working full time!

2 moms found this helpful

I do. I have a cleaning lady come every other week. I have absolutely no guilt associated with it and have no qualms about telling anyone. As a SAHM, my day is pretty taken up and I have very little free time....and the free time I do have I don't want to spend cleaning. In my area, there are very many SAHM and nearly all of them have some type of cleaning service.

2 moms found this helpful

Love this question. Yes I do! I started having my house cleaned when I was working, and found that it kept both my husband and me on top of organizing all our projects, etc. We still do now, though I am not working. The funny thing is, that we go to my mother-in-law's house for one day weekly to help her clean, paint, do floors, etc. Often it is on the same day my lovely cleaning lady comes to my house. So I spend a day socializing and cleaning with a loved one at her house, and come home to my own sparkling house. How great is that? As for my friends, I think some of them think this is not necessary, but secretly wish they had some help, too.

2 moms found this helpful

I'm a SAHM and have a cleaning service once a month. I'm hoping to someday get it more often! I HATE cleaning, and I really love when they clean my house and everything is nice all at once. I have a lot of home mom friends who have services too. It's so great not to have to spend the weekend doing that while my husband watches the kids- we spend the time as a family! Do it!!

2 moms found this helpful

I'm so glad you posted this. I immediately called a friend's housecleaner to see if she can come to my house, too. I am a SAHM with a special-needs kiddo, and I hate cleaning, and I hate looking at the dirty house, and I hate cleaning one counter, then getting called away, then cleaning another counter, then detaching the kling-on, then not remembering where I was and cleaning the same damn counter again. Having it done all at once will be so lovely.

2 moms found this helpful

I am home full-time and recently had another baby. While I was pregnant my husband was in Iraq so I decided to get a cleaning service so i didn't have yet another thing to take care of. I had the baby in May, hubby came home in June and we decided to keep the cleaning service. The mental relief I have is worth the cost! I can spend more time with the kids and, lets face it, I don't clean as well as they do :) I say go for it if you can afford it! Your kiddos need you more than they need you to be the one doing everything!

2 moms found this helpful

No, I dont have a cleaning service. I wouldnt if I worked either because my kids wouldnt be home all day trashing the house. I know my house would stay clean for about 8 hours, and thats longer than its ever been clean in years!

1 mom found this helpful

I have in the past, I will again, the MOMENT I can afford it again. I consider maids to be a C.O.D. gift from god.

I've been a stay at home, part time, and full time worker. You know who needs a housecleaner the MOST? Those who actually live in their house and use it. NOT those who wake up, get the kids dressed and fed, and then everyone leaves an hour after waking up, and comes come 2 hours before bed. When you're almost never home, your house stays clean. Bare minimal work to keep it up.

More than anyone else, stay at home parents need a maid.

1 mom found this helpful

When I kids were little I had one come in once a month, to do the big stuff -- bathtubs, etc. It saved my sanity and I didn't feel guilty at all. No matter how dirty the house was getting, at least I could relax knowing it would get cleaned once a month.

1 mom found this helpful

I am a SAHM and in my opinion, I LOVE CLEANING so much that there would be no way I would have someone come in my house to do something that I already love to do...that is even if I did have the money.

My SAHM days will be over in August and since I love to clean so much, I plan on finding homes just like yours to take care of. For me and my situation, I do not find it necessary or even an option to hire outside help. If I did, I would feel guilty too having someone else do my job when I am perfectly capable.

However, do I find it shameful??? NOT AT ALL! If it is something that will help ease you and give you some relief...DO IT! Anything to help you relax and be a better, more attentive mother and wife is worth it.

1 mom found this helpful

Once a month $90, so worth it. Wish I could afford 2x month. The kitchen floor, showers and vaccuming are excellent!

1 mom found this helpful

Oh my gosh; if money wasn't an issue why the heck not!? My only reason for not doing it would be because my house is too messy for the cleaning crew to see - HA! Do it... You deserve it!

1 mom found this helpful

I know people whose husbands don't work so much and they don't have special needs kids and those SAHM's have cleaning people. I know one mom whomstays home and has one child who she keeps in pretty close to fulltime daycare at 5 yrs and SHE has cleaning people. And she doesnt have much money! Go for it.

Updated

I know people whose husbands don't work so much and they don't have special needs kids and those SAHM's have cleaning people. I know one mom whomstays home and has one child who she keeps in pretty close to fulltime daycare at 5 yrs and SHE has cleaning people. And she doesnt have much money! Go for it.

1 mom found this helpful

I think in your case with all the medical issues that you should go for it. It is one less thing for you to have to deal with and gives you more time

1 mom found this helpful

We live in Switzerland and it's pretty normal for expats to have a cleaning lady. I am a SAHM to 2 girls (2 and 3) and I am expecting my third in Feb. I definitely think it is worth it. I am able to keep the house looking so much better when she does all the major cleaning. It is just so much easier to keep things put away and straightened when I don't have to worry about the bathroom or mopping the floors. I also then have more time to spend with my kids and my husband on the weekends. I think if you can afford it do it. I am a much happier person! I do also admit it to my family and friends. I wouldn't do it if I felt I had to hide it. We as moms also shouldn't be judging others. I don't think it makes me any less of a mom or wife because I pay someone to help me out. And for the record, if I could pay someone to grocery shop and cook for me I would! I hate that even more than cleaning! I think I would actually like to be like the nanny for my kids, you know just do all the fun stuff and have someone else do all the work! HA! A girl can dream right? ;-)

1 mom found this helpful

yes, there is just some things I won't do.... so getting some help once a month is really nice

1 mom found this helpful

If you can afford it, why do you feel guilty about it?
You seem to have your hands full with the kids.
It is not that much of a money comparing to a satisfaction of walking into a clean house and you didn't do it! You cannot save every penny, you know.
SAHM stands for SAHMom not a SAHMaid.
Your husband is for it - go for it.
As for admitting to friends and family. What family would not want you to have help? If they do not like it - it is their problem. Friends - the same thing, they are way easier to get rid of than family if they start questioning you.
Put the oxygen mask on yourself first.
Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

If you can afford it, get it. Nobody has to know but you.

1 mom found this helpful

I've been considering it myself...I like things CLEAN, CLEAN, CLEAN but we're a blended family of 5 (part time) and I go to school full time while my partner also works full time. I would NOT feel guilty about it AT ALL and am trying to forget about being "supermom" (as I sometimes feel like I have to do it all) and letting someone else come in and clean.
It's important to remember that NO ONE can do it all...and you have VERY important things to take care of, your children! As far as someone said below, doing it for "free", I know what they (you?) meant as far as "free" vs. paying...but our TIME IS SO VALUABLE...so you're never really doing housework for FREE...you're giving that time to clean when you could be doing something else. It's a choice. But if you feel overwhelmed, then def do it! And it's up to you whether or not you "admit" to friends that you have someone come in once in a while to help out. I don't know what their reaction would be, but I would think it would be none of their business whatsoever! Take care of YOU and YOUR KIDS and however the chores get done, that's what is best for YOU:)

1 mom found this helpful

From my experience with a cleaning lady/service, the house is clean for about 3 days MAX, and then you are doing the scrubbing, washing and dusting yourself! So I say for go for it! You have a ton going on and can use the help. Don't you dare feel guilty!

1 mom found this helpful

i am a house keeper and i clean for sahm. i have some who wanted it to be a secret. i have some who were telling me how to clean it their way. i had some who had the kids running around the house as we cleaned, these children always fell on their bums. i had some who got jealous cause the children ran to us and gave us hugs, they fired us. had some who fired us because the husbands were friendly with us.

there is no need to feel guilty, it just gives you more mommy time to your kids.

1 mom found this helpful

If I could afford it, I would in a heartbeat

1 mom found this helpful

I think it sounds like you have a real need for it. There is NO reason to feel guilty IF you have the money for it. Going into debt for it would be bad, of course. But, if you can afford it, there is absolutely no shame in having a cleaning service. At times I dream about one because I feel like the majority of my time is spent cleaning and having kids helping me clean and I still fall behind! There's absolutely nothing wrong with having one. I don't think you need to go around and announce it to everyone if you do get one, but if it ever came up, there is nothing wrong with letting them know that you have one. I wouldn't think badly of anyone who did that.

Some people don't have time to clean or else they are really really bad housekeepers and their house is always a mess and dirty (thinking of my sister, she's a SAHM and has a 15 yr old daughter...no reason for her mess at all). I wouldn't see anything wrong with them getting a cleaning service to help. Some people really don't like cleaning...but it still needs to get done.

Anyway, so I say go for it if you can afford it and don't think about feeling guilty or what other people will think of you! :-)

1 mom found this helpful

I work full time during the school year but have breaks and summer off (a physical therapist in the schools). I first hired my company when I was in my internships and my husband was in Afghanistan. I have never gone back. It is worth every penny I spend on them even in the summer when I am home and do alot more around the house. My husband wasn't sure at first when he came home if he wanted to keep the cleaning service but he is on board now as well as the house just stays cleaner when I have someone do all the big stuff every other week. If you can afford it then I say go for it and don't feel guilty about it!

1 mom found this helpful

Get the cleaning service!!!!!!! It is SO worth it. Honestly, I think it might be the best money I spend every month! I am a SAHM with two kids and we've had the service ever since my first was born four years ago. We used to it only ever four weeks, but now we do it every two weeks. It is soooo worth it.

I still wash the dishes, do the laundry, wipe down the counters, pick up toys, etc on a daily basis. But it is so nice to have someone else come in once a week to scrub the toilets, clean the floors and showers, deep clean the kitchen, dust, windows, etc.

Don't feel guilty. You are busy and it sounds like you have your hands more than full with three kids, special needs, after school activities, therapies and more.

And I absolutely tell my friends and family. I have nothing to hide. My only regret is that we can't afford to do it weekly!!

1 mom found this helpful

Great question and wonderful idea!!! I don't feel guilty at all. When you stay home with the kids the house gets so much more messy....When you have help, you Spend more quality time with your children.

1 mom found this helpful

Yes.

We have our service come every other month just to hit "reset" for my house. It's darn near impossible to stay ahead of every single spider web in the house and that really bothers me. Having found a great service to use during my post-partum period, we signed back on with them when we realized I just couldn't keep up with it all. My DH tries his best and we have our "do or die" list that we do every day, but it's a lifesaver to have the girls in every few weeks and really very affordable. I just told the owner what I was hoping to spend and we worked it out.

I don't feel guilty at all. If it makes me a less stressed out (and thus better) mommy and we can set aside that money then I say it's what we should do!

1 mom found this helpful

If you can afford it... go for it! you will help provide someone with a job, which will help them support themselves or thier family... so why not? I don't think it is anything to be ashamed of, especially if you use the time you would be cleaning to do things with your children.

I am a SAHM with a toddler and an infant, and i can say that keeping a house squeaky clean can be a huge undertaking... plus when you are at home it is a never-ending project because the house is constantly being lived in... which means more dishes, more messes, more toy "pick ups", more vacuuming than if you where not home all the time. Add to that 'special needs' of any kind and i bet you are exhausted!!!

I would admit it to my friends only because of the fact that I used to always feel inadequate that I couldn't do it all and perfectly all the time... because I saw other family members with "perfect homes"... until I found out that either they had a housekeeper, or sent their kids to daycare a few times a week or a babysitter while they stayed home to clean... Now I am happy with 'clean' but I am not striving for 'spotless'- I mean home and gardens probably won't come to photograph the interior of our house today... so I won't fret if the baseboards aren't scrubbed or the mantle is left un-dusted!

get a housekeeper if you want one, and if someone ASKS be honest about it, but you don't have to advertise the fact either...

-M.

1 mom found this helpful

I don't...that's almost a laugh. Where would the money come from? Hah! Never! But that's just me. I have a lot going on with my children, but I just always try to be cleaning something when I have a few extra minutes as I go about my day. And I do a lot of cleaning around midnight. I get really tired all the time...but that's my only option.

If I HAD the option? I dunno...I might take it, I guess. I don't think there's anything wrong with it at all, I just don't know if I'd feel comfortable having someone else see the inside of my toilet, etc. :) If you can afford it, especially with everything you have going on, I'd say take it. And feel good about it!

1 mom found this helpful

Yes. I got one for twice a month when I was pregnant. Now I do once a month (I do the in between cleaning). If you can afford it don't feel guilty. consider how much more lived in your house is when you are home with your kids! Its all about what you do with your extra time, for me I engage with my children. Don't know about you, but my kids get put off big time when its time to clean the house. Also in the end, its not that you have all this extra time. I know I don't. The real difference is that if you can afford it you get to live in a clean house and other busy SAHM's have messy houses. Don't feel guilty because you can afford the luxury of a clean home. Because I have a cleaning service I am more apt to have guest over because my house is never so out of control I can't have it be seen. It also improves my marraige because my husband is not at ease in a filthy home. I do not advertise that I use a cleaning service the way I do not advertise that I go to get massages. I don't go out of my way to hide it either. For me the once a month cleaning is a great compromise on the guilt becuse you still have to clean your own home (just not the showers, toilets, and outside of appliances). FYI, I'm cheap too. You are a candidate for a once a month like me. Its important for me also to model keeping house to my daughters. They cant assume they will be able to afford help. For this reason alone I will likely cancel my once a month when my daughters are old enough to help.

1 mom found this helpful

I would LOVE to have a cleaning service come in. I an a SAHM to 3 kids(10,7 & 2), home school, my husband works from home except for the travel trips he needs to take into the office and such. There aren't enough hours in the day for getting everything done and we're all under the roof all day. But we've got all the other things to do like the work that pays the bills and the work that teaches the children the skills they need. Then I remember where all our time goes ;)
If you can afford it I say go for it! While your work may not be bringing in a paycheck you are most certainly doing a ton of work so don't feel guilty if you pay someone else to clean your bathrooms for you every so often :)

1 mom found this helpful

Do NOT worry about what other people think!!!
You need this for YOU! It's an investment in you! Gives you more time for more important jobs...like time with your kiddos.

Some people spend twice the amount of money on Starbucks or other fast foods and such.

Like others have stated, if you can afford it, GO FOR IT!!!

May God grant you much grace and peace with your little ones.

Blessings,
A.

1 mom found this helpful

I'd love to have one. I can't really afford it and I have 4 very able bodied kids. I've got to train them to clean better though. They're homeschooled so they're home..

1 mom found this helpful

I am a sahm.. and I would love to hire a service.. I know that in 4 hours someone could clean this house top to bottom.. but I dont have 4 hours.. in only have 4 mintues before a child needs a snack or a band aid.. or whatever.. I can put them in front of the TV so I can clean.. I think it would be very valuable to have a cleaner come in once in a while..

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