Anxiety, Panic Attacks - Los Angeles,CA

Hi,

It is completely normal to feel that way especially in your situation. Do you have friends who can come and help you? Someone to talk to? In times like this you need to surround yourself with the most support you can find. Talk therapy is great, it helped me a lot when I was struggling with PPD, I also didn't want any medication, because I am breastfeeding. I would also talk to your husband and keep him in the loop, so that you don't feel left out and he knows that needs to support you and check on you while he is gone.

Hope you feel better soon, it all passes, things in the house break, but anything can be fixed, you just take a deep breath and relax.
Enjoy your little girls!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi ES--

Wow, that is a lot to be coping with!!! It does sound like anxiety attacks, and you seem to have been doing everything right in terms of seeking treatment. There are a number of very effective behavioral methods for managing anxiety and, hopefully, your psychologist can help you learn what works best for you. I also think anxiety mangement groups can be a particularly cost effective way of getting the kind of help you need and many healthcare providers do offer them. It also sounds like you need to work on improving your social support. Small children can be really isolating, and we all need adult companionship. It sounds like having your husband gone for so much, combined with your difficulties your sisters has undermined what had been great social support for you. Good luck solving what should be a solvable problem. You sound like a competent and resourceful woman.

M.

1 mom found this helpful

I started having major panic attacks when my son was 1. Hubby was away during the week for work and would commute home on the weekends. After several months and every test in the book I finally found a good Naturopath who read my test results and easily saw that my thyroid, adrenal and pituitary gland levels were all low. Medically I was in the normal range in all categories, but they were not normal for my body.

It's been almost 5 years now and I still deal with the symptoms once in awhile when my levels are off. It's usually when I don't get good sleep for a few nights in a row or when I am dealing with extra stress (kids sick, me being sick, etc.). I have been taking all natural, herbal supplements that specifically help my thyroid, adrenal, and pituitary glands. No weird side effects. I also have had to change my diet quite a bit. Decreased dairy, no wheat/gluten, and decreased tomato/onion/eggplant/other inflammatory foods. When I follow my diet and am on my herbal stuff, I feel great! When I splurge and get off my diet, I feel it within a few days.

If you are interested, I can give you the contact information for my Integrative Health Specialist in La Jolla. I have been working with her for about 6 months since I got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. My other Naturopath felt I would be better working with an Integrative Specialist who had more experience dealing with Fibro patients. Dr. Roya Kohani was highly recommended to me by my chiropractor, who I have been seeing for over 2 years now. Just PM me and I will forward Dr.Kohani's information to you. She is WONDERFUL! She actually LISTENS to everything that I say and doesn't try to rush me through an appointment.

Panic attacks are a normal response to an abnormal amount of stress, and I can understand your interest in avoiding medication. There is a fantastic cd by Susie Mantell that I got for Christmas that really helped. You can find it at:
www.relaxintuit.com
Also, Dr. Andrew Weill has a cd you can listen to that works on breathing methods to help calm anxiety.
Having said that, I found that a short course of the medication (tapering on and tapering off), was a godsend. Oftentimes panic and axiety have a biological base, so there isn't anything wrong with addressing it with medication. As a psychologist I knew once said, 'if you need glasses, you use them even if they are plexiglass and unnatural, right?' Good luck!

First of all, you need any family support you can get. Are there any relatives that can come and help you for a while? Other church members? You spouse needs to rethink his career options unless he is military. You need to be open and honest with him and you need him and you need him NOW! Next. Take the medication. It will help you calm down and focus. I know. It worked for me. You won't need to stay on it forever. There are several out there and you just need the correct one. Then you need to take some classes in meditation/self-hypnosis to learn how to regain control and maintain the panic. This condition may be hormonal or genetic. Second, if you clergyperson was inappropriate, report him/her to someone higher up the church structure. That is a total breach of trust and that person should not be allowed to continue this behavior or have any position of trust within the church hierachy and may be grounds for "defrocking". So you need to get some respite care, some medical care, and a really good handyman to go over your house for any other possibly problems.. When you bought the house did you get one of those policies about fixing repairs for a year? If not, get the handyman. Good luck, with proper medical and psychological support things will improve. Good luck.

So sorry to hear about your stress! Have you tried going to the doctor yet? I was experiencing major stress, and had very similar symptoms. I went to the doctor and found out I had Graves Disease, which is an autoimmune disease. You would have to have your thyroid/blood levels checked. Thyroid issues are often misdiagnosed for depression and anxiety disorders. I hope everything works out for you. Best of luck, and take care!

K.

Hello ES. Where do I begin? lol I would first like to say that you are in control here, and how you respond to these "stressors" determine how your day/s will go. If you choose to let them get to you, then you will be in trouble. The only real issue here, that I see, is the unwelcome advance/s from the clergy. That is pretty stressful in and of itself. Not sure how to avoid that, except to say remove yourself from the church, but... that's not a great answer, especially if you are happy there. Regarding the house issues, whatever happens will happen, and once it is over, you will be able to breathe a sigh of relief, so know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel there :) You didn't elaborate on the issues with your sisters, so I don't know how to give advice on that one, either :( Regarding your daughter, I hope she doesn't have a transient tic, but it's not the end of the world if she does. There are so many children out there with worse problems, and ones that require 24/7 care. If you think of it that way, you might feel blessed instead of stressed! I know it doesn't sound comforting, but you WILL get through this :) Regarding your home, things like that happen, and it IS very stressful, but once the things are fixed or replaced, that stress will be removed, also :) I can sympathize with you there, I had a lot of things like that in my house when I first got it. Recently, like last year actually, our roof was replaced, but until then it was a nightmare. It literally rained in our house, and I had 10 gallon Rubbermade totes that I had strategically placed around the house to catch the rain, but that needed to be emptied every few hours during the heavy rains. It was an association issue, and had been an ongoing problem, and I eventually got so sick of it, that I paid for mine and my two (attached) neighbors roof replacement, just to have peace of mind, because I had a new baby arriving. I also don't know what to tell you about your husband being gone, I haven't had one of those in 16 years or so, so I don't know what it's like to have help. I do it on my own, 365 and 24/7. All I can say is you CAN do it!!! There are tons of us doing it everyday, and we survive :) lol And when your husband does come home, be sure to let him help lighten the load for you, because you do need a break once in a while :)Stay clear of meds if you don't need them, which it doesn't sound like you do, although I'm not a doctor and therefore am not authorized to give medical advice. LOL If you take one day at a time, one problem at a time, it does help, even if it doesn't seem like it. BEST of luck to you, and remember to slow down, take a deep breath, and take some time for yourself after the kids go to bed or school. :)

how about buying a relaxation yoga dvd? i just lost a friend to leukemia..she wanted to live and it was so sad that she died..she was 40 and left behind her 3 year old daughter and husband..i also have a friend whose son had leukemia and literally a week after they were told he would be fine..they discovered she has breast cancer..now i don't let anything get me down..i feel lucky no matter what.. as long as u have your health you should try to be thankful..it may help u not stress out so much...try to concentrate on the good..you have a husband coming back to you..2 healthy girls..i'm sure the tic will go away..you have a brand new house...
maybe if you really can't get thru the anxiety you should ask your doc for xanex or try some calming teas..
drink a glass of wine at night..don't sleep w/ a bra or anything constricting
exercise always helps me..even just a long walk somewhere nice like a park..but if i run the park i'm totally fine after..the human body craves exercise i think...do you work out at all?
try walking ..running or joining a gym..i go to Equinox..and have made some new friends from there and really enjoy it.

good luck!

D.

You have a lot going on! I would have anxiety too. I know for sure you need some time to chill out - have someone watch the kids for a couple of hours once or twice a week.

Doing Yoga will help relax you. Also acupuncture will help relax you.

Hopefully this helps and hopefully your husband is home soon.

Good luck!

Hang in there! Remember to slow down and take a deep breath throughout the day-it really does help. Remember that everything is gonna be alright. Tell yourself this, even if you don't believe it. Keep your thoughts and words positive-you will feel better. Prioritize taking care of yourself. Let the dishes or laundry go and take a slow walk instead- remember the housework isn't going anywhere. Turn your wonderful nurturing abilities toward yourself-be your own best friend. Remember-one cannot give from a dry well. You need to be well in order to care for your family well. Consider anything you do for yourself an investment to you and your family's well-being. It really is gonna be alright.

you are going yhe=routh a rough time with youeveryongchildren at home is it posible to have sonencone in and stay with ith children for a little while a few tims a week to give you time to relax hope so good luck ad no thiils raised4 and now have 7crandchildren no hills

Gemmotherapy (contrary to what one may devise from the name has nothing to do with precious stones : ) is a homeopathic approach to anxiety. I’ve seen people having complete turn around after using it.
Good Luck
V.

Keep seeing the therapist - and, as silly as this may sound - when you get panicky - stop and remember to breath. Do things, and surround yourself with people you feel safe with.
Best of luck - I wish you well.

K.

I'm so sorry things are so stressful for you right now. Just as an aside, do you drink a lot of coffee or caffeinated sodas? I didn't think it was a big deal until I started getting the heart racing from it. If you do drink a lot of it, perhaps you could cut it out of your diet. But, for the most part, it seems like you may need some healthy routines to get you through the day. Do you exercise? If you can get out in the morning with your girls and get a little walk, or do some "wiggles" aerobics in the morning, that will go a long way for being able to sleep soundly. It will also give you something to boost your seritonin levels and give you something to do besides think about your husband being away. Tackle one thing at a time in the house, try to laugh more (it's a great stress reliever), maybe have a fun sleepover with your girls in your bed while hubby is away, which would be nice and toasty if the heater is broken! If you think it might help, you could try some valerian root at night, it is the base root for valium and will help you relax and sleep. However, I'm not sure how it might affect your ability to wake up if your 17month old needs you in the middle of the night, so there's that. I wish you luck.

Hang in there mama! As a Realtor I know that just the stress of buying a new home alone, is enough to give anyone anxiety. Raising two kids on your own is enough for most people as well. Give yourself the respect and pat yourself on the back and remember that this to shall pass. Is there anyone that can relieve you for a day of relaxation. Maybe a spa visit or maybe just a mani/pedi? Anything to get away for a few hours and focus on you? You have been through, and continue to go through alot and sound like you just need a little break. The things you mentioned should be covered in your home warranty. : ) Hope things get better. (((((()))))

First of all, congratulations on you new home! I have a lot of sympathy for you because I can really relate to your situation, We just bought a new home in April, a home I love in a town I love, but the move was incredibly stressful. My mother fell and was admitted to the hospital about two weeks before we moved, and was discharged into an assisted living facility the same day we closed escrow. Then right after we moved in, the lock on the back door broke and the A/C started to leak into the den. Dealing with all this was hard enough with my 4 year old twins and a full time job, but it would have been unimaginably worse with my husband out of town for two months!

What you describe sounds like panic attacks to me. They might go away when your husband returns. But it sounds like your life is tremendously stressful right now. How much time is left before your husband returns?

I understand your desire to avoid taking anxiety meds. Is there anyway you can get some relief from you stress. For example, do you have a reliable friend or family member who can stay with you and help out for a week or two (by that I mean, they can watch the girls while you deal with the plumber/electrician/whatever, or the reverse, they deal with the serviceman so you can focus on your girls. I am sorry to hear about your daughter's health issue - I think it is so much worse when my kids

My husband had panic attacks, starting when his father passed away just five days after our twins were born. Like you, he wanted to avoid medication, but in the end he needed to take it to get over the hump. He ended up taking medication for a year or so, gradually weaning off. He really needed it for a couple of months but to avoid relapse, cut his dosage back slowly. Hopefully you can find other ways to manage your anxiety, but the meds work very well and enabled him to function during a very tough time.

B12 is an energy vitamin and the last thing that you need right now seems to be more energy. I know that some people use it to treat anxiety and some have success with it, but for me... it never worked. I too suffer from anxiety. What works for me is an amino acid called GABA great stuff! I have also used valerian root and kava kava (do not drink any alcohol with either of these). Magnesium can also help calm the nerves. Do you research on each of these before you take any of them. Although I have a MS in Holistic Nutrition, we haven't spoken and I don't know what medications you are taking or what medical conditions you have on top of what you are experiencing. :)

You need to find a cognitive-behavioral therapist (CBT) who treats panic disorder or generalized anxiety disorder. It would be helpful if they use the Treatments That Work series of workbooks that are empirically proven to work. Here is how you find a CBT therapist in your area: http://www.abct.org/dHome/ go to "The Public" drop-down tab at the top of the page, select "find a therapist" and then follow the instructions and input your zip code, etc.

Good luck! M.

Andreal Support by Apex Nutritionals has helped me, my family and soooo many of my friends. In fact, I've had about 6 friends who have been able to wean themselves off their anti-depressants, Xanax, etc by taking 2-3 of these each morning. They support the adrenal glands and help with the entire endocrine system.

http://www.worldlifesupplements.com/products_main.html

I've discovered by reading research, that when a mom is pregnant and is under stress of any kind, depending on the degree, the baby ends up with adrenal exhaustion....so this gets "passed" to our babies. It's not a genetic thing, but rather a situtional thing that impacts our bodies....and our adrenals can only handle so much.

I've had friends misdiagnosed biopolar, etc. and tehy started taking this supplement and feel like different a different person....more stable and can handle the stresses when they show up without losing it or having panic attacks.

I had another friend take Drenamin from Standard Process (another glandular). She's 59, a single mom with now 3 grown boys and an RN of 37 years. She use to take meds for her panic attacks, because the ended up getting so bad that she's had to pull her car over, and literally cut off her bra because she couldn't breathe. She take anywhere from 3-10 of them a day, depending on her day.

http://www.standardprocess.com/display/StandardProcessCat...

None of the supplements are addictive, nor do they have any ingredients that could be addictive.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me. Hang in there sweetie....and remember to breathe.

PS: EFT also may be a good idea for you.

I know how you feel! I started having panic attacks during my pregnancy with my second daughter. They would come on at night and i would wake up with my heart pounding and sweating, scared to death! My best friend also suffered from them, and she went to a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist for a 16 week program that taught her how to deal with the attacks as they started. They give you the tools to stop the panic and anxiety because there will always be things that have the potential to give you stress and might manifest in a panic attack. Her therapist reminded her to find a good breathing rythym and to tell herself to breath in calmness, peace and positive emotions, and then to tell herself that she was breathing out negative emotions. Her advice helped me a lot. Also going to a mommy and me yoga class once or twice a week and making myself a priority (hard to do with 2 kids I know!) really helped. IN yoga you learn how to center yourself and it does wonders for your body and building core strength. If you think about having a strong "core" you can handle anything! Also, Seeing a therapist once a week was very helpful. I know this isn't always possible financially and with time but I went to a sliding scale clinic and built a great relationship with a therapist who I have been seeing for 3 years now. She reminded me to try and stay in the moment and everytime I found my mind wandering to something that worried me, to bring my focus back to that moment you're in and what you are doing. I don't know if any of that will help you but you are welcome to write me back if you want to talk about it. I understand where you are coming from!!
All the best, S.

It sounds like a totally "normal" response to an incredible amount of stress. We should not expect ourselves to act or feel normal under such conditions as you are facing. When you are able to address the issues causing the anxiety, one by one, I am thinking the panic will subside. There is nothing wrong when your body shows the effects of what is going on with you, you just need to find ways to get through. To cope with stress you could try meditation, yoga, martial arts, cooking, being with loved ones, professional counseling, whatever works for you. Tell yourself with each thing that it will pass; you will get through it. Good luck!

Dear ES: Before taking any medication I suggest you to try what is called EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). It is a method that involves a simple and harmless tapping in specific energetic points in your hands, head, and face. It was developed by a guy named Gary H. Craig. He has a web page and you can download for free a course on EFT. You can also go on youtube and look for EFT videos. I've been using it for stress, insomnia, anxiety, and it really changed my life. I even use it with my kids when they're not behaving or with tantrums. I hope it help you, you just need a little interior peace, faith and remember that physical and emotional healing are one. All negative emotions disrupt the body's energy system and therefore tapping help you to restore a correct flow of energy. Don't be skeptical and give a try, it is so easy.

Good luck,

Maria

Just getting through a similar time. I found a lot of help in my nightly cup of real Chamomile Tea and right before bed one or two doses of Calms Forte a homeopathic remedy (I found it at Rite Aid, Target and Wal-Greens) that helps in relaxation just enough to allow sleep. It is not synthetic chemicals so there is no half-life leaving you drowsy the next day and it is totally non-addictive. I really found it made a huge difference during my life's rough chapter.

Good Luck and remember, slowly breathe in and breathe out.

I've been in a similar situation when my husband goes out of town for work. I absolutely loathe when he goes out of town. If there is any way that your husband could come home, that would probably help all of your problems go away. Also, though, if you drink coffee, I wonder if that could be causing your palpitations. I took up coffee after years of not drinking it--only about a cup a day--but that one cup, combined with other stresses, resulted in palpitations. Once I stopped the coffee and switched to green tea, the palpitations left.

I also have 2 older sisters that have anxiety and panic attacks, but I had never experienced anything like that until I was drinking coffee everyday.

I agree with Kathleen C. Try to see if you can get some help while your husband isn't there. Can you hire a nanny for that time period? Is there a family member that can stop by a few days or nights of the week? A close friend? First thing is to try to alleviate some of the issues causing the anxiety. Things like yoga and therapy can help, but you also need to try to resolve the causes of the stress. It is hard do all those things by yourself- being a mommy, managing the house, etc.

There are natural suppliaments that will help with anxiety, valerian root being one of them. Deep breathing and meditation WILL help - when you are laying there at night unable to fall asleep, try imagry. Keep going to the psychologist and I hope you are feeling better.....

Hi E S;
You have an overwhelming amount on your shoulders right now. You don't mention your age, but if you are perimenopausal that can have some effect.

One small tool I suggest is to press on an acupressure point called Sea of Tranquility. It is in the center of the chest. The easiest way to find it is to locate the base of your sternum (the place in the center of your torso where the ribs come together), then measure with the four fingers of your hand from that base up to the center.

Use your thumb to press directly and gently into the point there. If it is tender, you have found the correct spot. Hold gently for 10 slow breaths. If you are able to press on this for approx. 3x's each day it will lessen in tenderness and help with anxiety.

Other tools are breathing exercises and yoga - cd's or dvd's can be found at the library, online and probably on Youtube.

Some things to consider - do you drink 8 glasses of clean, healthy water each day, are you able to avoid caffeine, alcohol and sugar, do you get enough sleep and exercise?

There are herbs that can be helpful - it may be wise to start with a tea. Here is a link to Dr. Andrew Weil that may be helpful http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/id/QAA326574

And lastly, can you find a different church - this is a pretty serious issue and you deserve to be safe, especially in the place you worship.

Best to you and your family,
S.

I just want to say; good for you for wanting to take care of it without medications! It IS possible.

I had pretty bad anxiety attacks back in college. Was diagnosed with "generalized anxiety disorder" - which just basically means that it got to the point where every LITTLE thing FREAKED me out! lol

I had a really good therapist who taught me relaxing techniques, gave me relaxation CD's, and lots of good tips to help me sleep. One I remember was to write down everything that you are thinking about and that is stressing you before bed, and then when you go to bed and start thinking about one of the things on the list you tell yourself - "thinking about this isn't going to solve this problem at this hour - all it will do is stop me from sleeping, and my body needs sleep to be healthy. I can think about this in the morning, and I know I won't forget to because it's on a list". And then if anything new pops up in your head that is not on the list - get up and add it!

It takes a while to "convince" yourself to really stop thinking about it, but it really did work for me! I would just think "Ok, stressing over the exam I have tomorrow isn't going to get me a better grade, however it MIGHT stop me from sleeping, then I'll be tired to write the exam, and THAT is something that might REALLY cause a bad grade". It's all about training your mind to think a different way ;)

Best of luck to you!

Hello ES,

It sounds like your situation is challenging and there are help and resources for you. I went through a similar situation two years ago, minus the panic attacks my anxiety interfered with my sleep and I lost lots of weight as well. Lack of sleep can make the anxiety worse as your body is phyically unable to calm down and rest. It turns out to be a bad cycle, lack of sleep because of anxiety, anxiety because of lack of sleep...your body is in flight/fright mode. I went on medication, but the benzos, which are a class on anti anxiety medications, made my situation worse. What worked for me was getting off the medication and working with a neurofeedback specialist(www.healyourbrain.com) as well as a therapist short term to process why I was experiencing soo much anxiety. I also took care of myself spiritually through working with a yoga teacher as well as physically, which the yoga helped too. Thank GOD my husband was soo loving supportive and willing to do what I wanted and needed to get well. YOU Will get well again, this is just a moment in your life, it too will pass, as everything does, but your body is telling your you need to take care of yourself right now...I know this is alot, but I hope it helps. You will come through this stronger.

Go t youtube.com and type in EFT for Anxiety/panic attacks.
Kind of hard to explain what EFT is but just follow T. video and do it as often as you can. I would recommend doing before you go to bed. Dr. Oz had this on his show and so did Oprah. I have also been suffering from anxiety for T. first time in my life and have started to use EFT to make T. feeling manageable. I think it is important to remember that what you have gone through is hard and you are going to feel stressed.............. it is when T. feelings become unmanageable. What sucks about medication is that it just makes it go away.......... then in a couple of years you are feeling anxiety over nothing and it is because you never dealt with it now. I would also recommend Chiropractic care for your daughter. Dr. Gerken in Chula Vista works with kids and is great. He is one of T. only Chiropractors with extensive experience with children. Call and ask to talk with him about your daughters symptoms.......
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Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amber