Anxiety Disorder

dear D., your question is a very good one, and a common concern (anxiety in general) at some point during motherhood, particularly during the early years and when the demands are so great. i am a psychologist and mother of two myself, and it sounds like you have had a rough go of it for the past two years. are you seeing a therapist as well as a psychiatrist (or maybe the paxil is prescribed by your ob-gyn or internist?)? going off of the paxil needn't be a difficult process, assuming that you don't still need to be on it. you should evaluate this with your prescriber. you may want to try a bit of psychotherapy in any event, as that is invaluable in understanding what underlies the panic and agoraphobia. there is no benefit to coming off of the paxil (particularly since it seems to have worked well) if you still need it. i imagine that you would have some anxiety in going off of it because you will remember the terrible feelings that you had that led to your beginning to take the paxil. anyway, you ought to consider therapy. it really does work, especially if you plan to come off of the paxil. btw, it seems to me (although i would need to evaluate you in order to say for sure) that you have panic disorder with agoraphobia, not a generalized anxiety disorder, which is a consideration in your plans to stop the medication (i would stay on it for a while).

let me know if i can be of help to you in finding a referral in the area that you live, as i know many treaters in the greater nyc area.

best of luck to you. B.

Hi D.,

I think anxiety is very natural and prevalent in women after giving birth (I read 1 in 5). Have you seen a doctor about it? After having my child I went through a brief depression and my symptoms were a result of hormones. I went on the pill and all balanced out. Each person is different though. I also read that an iron deficiency could cause anxiety. But if its not biological or physiological, then chances are you just a normal mom. I was also a nervous wreck when my child was born, wondering was she breathing when she was sleeping? Was the daycare taking proper care of her? What about strangers? Etc, Etc. I think that part of being a mom is perfectly natural. If it becomes debilitating, then its time to talk to someone, but otherwise, I wouldn't worry about it. Being sleep deprived doesn't help either. Believe me though, you are not alone.
-A.

D. - My spouse has a form of anxiety disorder and after much pushing on my part sought help from a Dr. and is now doing great. The more and more people I talk to are medicated in some way or another and it helps so why not. Your not alone! Just make an appointment with your Dr. and go to a pyschiatrist or psychologist and they can surely help. One prescribes medication and one doesn't so go to the one you are more comfortable with. You may just need someone to talk to. Children can definitely be overwhelming on top of work and household duties and life in general, not to mention the ever gloomy economy. :) Hang in there.

I have not been diagnoised, but I know that suffer from anxiety issues which have increased dramatically since my daughter was born a year and half ago. I haven't really talked to anyone about it becaused I don't want to be critized.

I used to enjoy having people in my house for parties and celebrations. Now when I know that it's my turn to host something, a couple of days before I can't sleep. I get rashes on my elbows and knees, I get agitated very easily and begin lashing out at my poor husband over nothing. The nausea and heartburn becomes unbearable. It's not only when I have a party in my house, it's also if I have to go out to someone elses occasion too. I used to enjoy life a lot more, now everything feels like torture.

The worst was the panic attack that I recently had on a job interview. I was trying so hard to keep my feelings to myself but you could read it all over my face. My heart was pumping my face was completely beat red. I was dizzy and my hands were going numb and tingling where I almost thought that I would pass out. One of the people interviewing me actually asked me if I was all right.

I used to be so confident, so carefree and loving life. Now I feel like a complete mess. I am not a pill person, so I would not want to go on any drugs. I have seen a therapist but so far, nothing. I just wish I could figure out how to manage my feelings better and learn how to enjoy life again instead of always worring.

First of all, I didn't take antidepressant for anxiety disorder, but deep, deep depression. After on it and because I was on something different that had been proven safe when nursing. I realized that I had no emotions whatsoever. I could not cry, or be happy or anything ...I felt numb and I told my OB who prescribed it for me and he wrote down and explained how to wean myself off it and it's okay now. I just mainly focus on Jesus and get myself into reading the Bible daily as my devotions and pray to Jesus all the time to help me get myself back on track and to give me His Wisdom in things I need to do. What I think now is that today I take care of today. Tomorrow I will take care of tomorrow. Tomorrow as enough worries of it's own and I will be there when it comes, right now I take care of today and what do my kids need today besides they need me to be stable and be healthy to care for them.
I know someone who had the anxiety disorder after her second child was born and I encouraged her to come back to the MOMs Program which helps her, but what I'll do is e-mail her and then have her e-mail you if that is okay?
I'll pray for you and your family and if you want to talk more or have any questions please feel free to ask me and/or other mothers out there.

I've also wonderd the same thing. I have to girls. About to be 12 year old girl and a 10 year old girl, and work usually full time. I have reciently went on antiderpresent or anxiety meds. They have helped tremendesly. Sometimes before I was on the meds. my kids voice at different times would bother me or the radio being to loud. Different things like that. I dont know if this is what your experincing, but I wish you the best of luck.

D.,
You are definitely not alone. Don't be afraid to ask your doctor for help. It started as the blues for me, then slowly got worse so that I was crying every day over basically nothing. I never had thoughts of hurting myself or anyone else, but I really wasn't happy with my life. Medication was the answer for me. I still have to do some positive self-talk to get me through some more stressful situations, but, overall, medication was the key. When you feel a rush of anxiety coming on, take some deep breaths with your eyes closed and say some positive things to yourself. In a couple of minutes you'll feel better. These bouts will diminish faster with medication. Take care of yourself so that you can continue to help your family. All the best, S..

I have suffered with anxiety ever since I was about 13-14 years old, but did not have it diagnosed untill I was 21 after having my first child. I am now 28. I have never experienced full blown panic attacks, only heart palpitations that make me feel like my heart might pound right out of my chest and they also make me slightly dizzy as if I might fall. And sometimes it gets hard for me to breath. I am not on any meds b/c I am tired of trial and error. I need a doctor that is willing to sit with me and listen- rather than rush and write me a script. Both Paxil and Zoloft did not work for me. I hear there are many spectrums of anxiety.. I am constantly feeling like people are watching me, judging me. If I am the first car at a red light I get anxious waiting for it to turn green. I dont like big crowds of people and having to meet people. I hate all eyes on me, and it takes me FOREVER to get comfortable with people. Like years! Seriously. My husband and I have been married going on 6 years this October 26th and I am still not comfortable with his friends, who have been around for about 4 years now. I am uncomfortable talking to them. (I get shakey and nervous) Can anyone relate to that? Is THAT crazy?? And just as someone said before..others do not understand. My husband thinks it is all in my head and that I can just turn it off. I actually started to believe him and thought if I think positive it will all go away! I tried that method for years and it is not working! lol I just remind myself that people are not watching me, they have other things to do! And when the heart palpatations come my way, I try to control my breathing,(it seems to work for me) Anyway some days are better than others. So no! You are not alone! And FYI, the anxiety got worse after having my second(and last)child. Now not only do I worry about the social anxiety I have, but I worry about when my husband goes out at night for band practice..will he safely make it home? Or what if we lose a child? How will I go on? I have these terrible morbid thoughts and I seemingly can not control these. They come and go. Maybe this is"normal", to worry about the saftey of family? I never really had a secure family, mom married twice and people came and went in our family...ha! It just dawned on me WHY I might think those terrible things! Well if you ever need to chat, you feel free to contact me. Best of wishes...

Hi D.,

I've had this disorder also. I recommend finding a good nutritionist/natropath to help with supplimentation. Pregnancy zaps you of the nutrients your body/mind needs to function correctly And, (this may sound out there but it worked for me) meditation CD for stress reduction.

http://www.centerpointe.com/

Good luck and God bless,
G.

I thought I too was going crazy. I used to go on the train to work in New York.. and totally panic.. get off and go home. I couldn;t stand it.. I thought I was having a heart attack or something. Went to so many dr. One actually told me I was crazy and it was all in my head. He reallyupset me. Finally went to a dr. to just talk - a social worker.. who listened told me I was not crazy and it's real. I've been on and off Paxcil.. (it's not all that hard to get off of.. just go slow.. I only take 10 mg. when I decide I'm doing good I cut down to 5 mg. on day and 10 the next for about 2 weeks then 5 mgs. every day... for about 2 weeks then 5 mg. every other day.. until I just stop... Never had any side effects. My anxiety comes and goes. right now it's been about 1 year without panic attacks.. thank God. I hate when they are so bad.. you get so frightened. I know what brings them on.. and I try to stay away from those situations. sometimes It's going on a vacation. I love to go away.. but they feeling before hand.. I start to panic..hating to leave my home, and the things I know. The last vacation.. I just said to my self I'm going, I'm going to have a good time.. and just went.. breathed easy.. and tried not to think about why I panic. I like to be home with my family. It's my safe haven. When I leave - I panic about like what if I go somewhere alone and something happens to me.. ? or yesterday my husband was late coming home.. I thought the worst... I know I have to deal with these things and I try to smile every day when I wake up.. My kids are healthy, my husband is great.. (though sometimes he can't figure out why I panic??) Once we were going on an airplane to a great vacation.. and 2 hours before the flight - I just said no.. I couldn't do it.. I was totally paniced!! We missed a great vacation.. I hope this never happens again. My husband and kids were very upset with me.. but I couldn't get on the plane.. I thought if I did.. I would go nuts. I hate being closed in!! and in a plane for 10 hours just made me sick! The dr. I went to then.. told me to grow up!! Not what I wanted to hear... I needed someone to hold my hand and tell me it was alright. I also have xanax if things are bad..but haven't used it in over a year... it really helps if you need it. Yoga to helps.. it relaxs you.. good luck!! find a good dr. to talk to.. their are alot out there!!!

Hi D., I am unable to be any company to you but I will say a prayer for you. Raising children has never been easy and we have all been anxious at times. Sadly we live in a world that is controlled by drug companies and they give everything a name or call it a disease to justify the medication. Can you not try something more natural? Talk to someone. I am not minimizing what you are feeling but do not want you to get caught up in the drug thing. You are obviously aware of the dangers. Many blessings to you, sincerely, Grandma Mary (mother of 5)

I have this as well and I found that I am getting pretty good at controlling it. I don't like to take medication, but I have found that eating right has helped out in the biggest way. . . also - - taking an antioxidant and B-Complex has helped me as well. Another thing that I have found helps with "behaviour modification" is meditation . . and I love it, it helps keeps me calm and gives me ways to handle the feeling of an impending panic attack so it never happens.

Hi D., I had anxiety after my second child it was winter and I was in the house all the time with 2 babies (they are 14 months apart). I put it off few awhile and then in April I called my Dr and told her that I was losing it i felt as though I was going to tear my house apart. She saw meimmediately and put me on meds. They helped alot
and I was back to my old self who is very even keeled.If you need to talk please email at ____@____.com Just know that it is normal and that you are a great mom.

hmmm, i have to say maybe talk to your doctor about taking other meds. my husband has anxiety issues and takes an antiaxiety drug. he does not suffer from what you describe, but has anxiety. however, he is on medication which he plans to stay on. he has 2 friends, each with different types of anxiety issues, but still similar. both are on medication, and have no plans to stop. another female family member takes paxil specifically for years, and again has no plans to stop. none of the doctors have ever stressed any of these persons needs to be off these medications. idk myself, but from looking at forums and such, the idea would be to coincide medication with counseling, and maybe one day be able to handle the issues with counseling. however, i understood it to be completely normal not to control the issues with counseling alone, and most times medication will be needed for the lifetime.

all this aside, i would not under any circumstances wean myself off any of these types of drugs without being in the doctors care. i would also not stop these drugs if any of the symptoms you described came back. you need to be happy, and enjoy your children and your life. if this means taking a pill forever, do so with your head held high. your health is not just yours, but the kids as well. do whatever it takes to be enjoying them and having a good life. good luck.

Hi D., My mom has a severe anxiety disorder and depression, which became much worse after she had 3 kids in 3.5 years. She did not get help until we were all grown but her depression is post partum depression that's never been addressed until recently (I'm the oldest, I'm 30). It's good for you and your family that you got help right away. From my mom's experience, it's difficult to wean off the meds. She often has her doses adjusted only to find that she really needs the meds to function. For the first time in my life, my mom is sleeping, and therefore is rested enough to function throughout the day. She's really suffered and the meds made all the difference. That said, I think therapy is helpful too (she's in therapy) and really, it's hard to get better without the therapy.

My husband also has an anxiety disorder and it became much worse after our second child. Getting into therapy made a huge difference for him, but he's not on meds (still refusing them). A friend bought us the book "From Panic to Power" which she has found helpful when she's having a panic attack and to help prevent them or lessen their intensity. My husband does use some of the techniques from the book when he's feeling anxious and he can bring himself back down to normal fairly quickly, without needing me to calm him down (this has been a problem between us - I can support him and love him, but I can't fix him). I hope this info helps.

HI! I was never diagnosed with Anxiety disorder but 2 times in my life I have had severe problems with anxiety and fear.

The 1st was just after my friend was killed (car accident). It was so bad that I would not get in the car and when I managed to make myself I cried all the way to the destinationa and all the way home. I did not have meds for that and they eventially stopped.

The second time was last year. I had a miscarriage in July 07 and was devistated. I had to go on anti-depressants and they helped for a while. Then they stopped working the right way and found I was getting worse than before. I had to go off them and felt better after the side affects had worn off. I can remember one time sitting and shaking and crying hystarically because my husband, 2 children and I were going bowling with my brother-in-law and his wife (10 minutes from home). There was no rhyme or reason just FEAR. My husband managed to get me in the car and then I wouldn't get out at the bowling alley. It took him 1/2 hour to convince me I could do it. I did manage to go in but wouldn't put the baby down or bowl and when my BIL started arguing with the attendant I went back to the car. I had counsiling for 8 months until my counselor made me mad and I quit going. Her making me mad was enough to "kick start" me back to feeling good. I still have days were leaving home is a chore but I do and once I'm out it is ok.

My advice is this: get a counselor, talk to your doctor about getting off completely or changing meds, and get a family support group together.

Once I told my family what was happening they helped me tremendously. They were able to take over child care duties (I am a SAHM), make dinners, call me or come over when the days were really bad. Mu Husband was my biggest support and he after he knew it wasn't "mood swings" was able to help me better. He had to take some time off to get me through some days because I was so depressed and fearful that I couldn't leave the house but neather could any one else. Let me just add that the worse came in November after my miscarriage july, a beloved dog of 15years died in August, school started in September and OCTober 10th my brother was almost killed in a motorcycle accident, and I digressed again just after Christmas when our horse of almost 30 years died on CHRISTMAS DAY! Extreme emotions of any sort can throw your body into problems. Don't blame yourself but DO take steps to get better. Treat this as a sickness you have to get better from and don't place blame. You can and must get through this but it won't happen instantly and you need SUPPORT, SUPPORT, SUPPORT!!!!!!! Take it one day at a time and track your progress with a journal. Start writing in it every day even if its just words not complete sentences. You may want to share your journal you may not (I still have mine hidden from EVERYONE, husband included). Look at every day as a new beginning. ALSO for those really bad days take it one moment, task, thought, whatever at a time. On those really bad times thats when your support network comes in handy. Call someone!!!

Last but not least if you decide to stop your meds, make sure you have someone(s) to stay home with you the whole day every day for a coupe days so if the side effects are the ones you listed your kids as well as yourself are safe. God Bless!!! A.

Hi D.
I have depression and generalized anxiety. I have had them for about 10 years. I do very well on meds. I didn't want to take something for the rest of my life, at first, but after several bouts with this I realized I need to. It's not so bad for me, like I said the meds help a lot. I have been off the meds during that time. I stopped taking them while I was pregnant with both of my daughters. I was good for about 8-81/2 months. After my second daughter, I was off of them for a little over a year before I had to go back on them. It just reinforced what I already knew (and what my doctor said.) I need to be on them, prob. for the rest of my life. Have you discussed coming off of them with your doctor? If you wean the proper way, slowly, you should do okay. I was. I have been on Paxil. It was my first med. I have moved on from there. I don't have it as severe as you. A close friend of mine, her mom does. She now only has to take something when she has an attack. Then she seems to be fine. Again, your doctor is prob. you best source of information, as well as the best one to tell you how to proceede. Let me know if I can help further, or if you want to talk.

I started with it after my third last summer. My blood pressure was also kind of elevated and I was suffering from really bad headaches. My doctor put me on Propanolol and all three things have been better controlled.

Please don't self wean yourself from the meds without talking to your doctors. There is a very specific way it needs to be done so that you don't have any trouble. In addition, your doctor should just be informed.

Best of luck to you,
L.

Hi!
yes there are other mothers with anxiety disorders.....you are not alone. I have a helpful suggestion, try eating healthier foods that are high in protein, nuts, peanut butter, eggs, cheeses. I found that when my anxiety was at it worse, I wasn't eating the right foods. Keep some cheese cut up, a spoonful of peanut butter, things that are quick so you don't find yourself preparing foods all day. Take care of the things you need so that you can be healthy and in the end your children will be happier too. Remember you are not alone, there are others out there who experience similar things. Keep posting or e-mail one of us, the support goes a long way! Good Luck! we are all in your corner.

yes D. i was just told i have gad (general anxiety disorder) and i got to counseling and me and my counselor figured out it was from sleep deprivation and also our finacial problems too so i have been takeing lexapro ans ativan and i have been for almost 3 weeks and am feeling better if you want to talk my e-mail is ____@____.com

R.

Hi D.,

I believe I have anxiety, very soon after my second child. I really need to make a doctor appointment. I think right after I finish writing this little note. I feel like someone is pressing agaist my chest at time. I can't breath, my emotions are all over the place. My heart just start going at rapid speeds. If these are signs then I have it. :( (INSOMNIA BIG TIME)

I suffer from anxiety disorder as well. I guess thinking back it did get more pronounced after my second child, but I relate it more to the mounting responsibilities. I always had a mild anxiety problem, but in the past five years I have taken anxiety meds. I originally saw a counselor because I just didn't want to be one of the pill popping people that has to rely on meds to cope. I had also suffered severe panic attacks. Most often when there were circumstances that make me nervous like flying or heights, but sometimes for no reason at all.

I have noticed that the anxiety is worse when I haven't gotten enough sleep and/or when I have caffeine. I tried several all natural remedies, making sure I had no caffeine and got enough sleep. While for some people this solves the problem, unfortunatley for me it didn't. After living with this "problem" for several years, I finally had to take inventory of my life and decide what I wanted my quality of life to be. I didn't let the anxiety stop me from doing things, even the worst offenders like flying or being on the ferris wheel (heights), but it was a struggle and I was becoming increasingly unhappy. It took a while to find an anti-anxiety script that worked for me. I am sure you've seen the commercials and know there are several meds out there, but I actually sat down and spoke with a doctor and learned how the various meds actually work differently in the body. I didn't want weight gain, nor did I want to feel "fuzzy". I didn't want my emotions so dulled that I didn't "react" to life. We found something that just took the edge off. Not only did it help with the anxiety/panic issue, but it helped over all. I can tell that I am more relaxed (not lazy and letting things get piled up), I have more patience with my children, the little things that really used to get on my last nerve just don't seem to anymore. I am able to chose my "battles" with the kids, spouse, etc. with a more levelhead.

I won't mislead you. I tried Paxil and I gained a bit of weight plus was content to sit around and do nothing all the time, too much calm. Another Exfexor (sp) just made me feel disconnected ("fuzzy"). But I have had great success with Celexa (sp). Where this may not be the case for everyone, if you really take inventory and are honest with yourself - you may find it is something you can get through or if you feel your quality of life (and that of your family) would improve with some medication then don't hesitate. I suffered for a long time before I felt comfortable getting help for this issue. I regret not having done it sooner as I think I missed out on a lot of things or was there, but not totally in the moment. Whether I was clicking off a list of things to do in my head or just having a flat out panick attack I wasn't able to experience what was going on.

What Diane said is so true. If you have never experienced it you just don't understand. I too would get dizzy and faint, sweat all over and feel like I couldn't breath - that was a panic attack and they were horrible to experience, especially trying to keep it from the people around you who just didn't get it!!! Let go of the self doubt! You are not going crazy! I told my husband I know you don't understand it, but just accept that it is what it is. He may not understand why I am having a panick attack (hell most times I didn't either), but just accept that when I tell you I need a minute to be understanding to my needs - handle the kids for a moment or ask if there's anything you can do (although there isn't at least he was supportive).

Feel free to contact me if you want to talk further. Best of luck to you and yours!