Another Baby? - Mercersburg,PA

Do you truly want another child? Or another baby? And can you afford another child? And years down the road will you be able to afford 3 college tuitions? If you can honestly say you want another CHILD, not just a baby, and you can afford it, I say go for it.

Babies are wonderful bundles of joy. Why not have another one? They are hard work but the rewards are more than worth it.

well I read once that to have another child you should be ready. Feel that you are able to take on another child. Missing that infant stage and doing it are 2 diffrent things. As you already know. I only have one child but come from a family of nine. We are all close and I love everyone of my brothers and sisters. Hope this helps any

Here's my two cents: I agree with whoever said, "you'll just know" and I think the fact that you haven't foreclosed the possibility means that you and your husband know that you want a third and therefore you should do so. What you don't want to do is regret not having a third. You can obviously afford it since you haven't raised that as an issue. Besides, people used to have so many more kids with fewer resources and we have more, but have much smaller families these days. Yes, things are a lot more expensive, but I think what has changed is our lifestyles. Our parents had much simpler lifestyles with smaller houses and less stuff. We buy into this celebrity culture where we think we have to have more and more and it's just not so. I say let's simplify our lives and enjoy what really makes us happy and that is our families.

B.,
This is a hard question to answer. I have 5 and all my life I had only planned on 2 (ha, ha, ha on me!) When I was pregnant with my 3rd child I had complications and ended up in the hospital on bed rest for 5 weeks and then had to have a section, my husband said we were not having anymore because of the stress we delt with because of the complications and being in the hospital. I on the other hand wanted 1 more, I just did not feel like my family was complete. everyone thought I was out of my mind but something in side was telling me that I needed to try for 1 more. Luckily I tried and had my 4th, I felt like I was done having children, my family was complete, I had 2 and 2, well God had other plans and blessed us with another amazing beautiful little girl 15 months ago. After having my 3rd daughter I knew without any hesitation that I was really done this time. Even now when I see other moms with babies I dont get the "baby itch" at all. I think you just know inside whether or not you are done and or family is complete or if you feel like something is missing! Hope this helps!

I am a 34 year old mom of 2. They are 15 and 12. I have longed for another child but had my tubes tied right after giving birth to the last child. I had to many medical issues and more children were not in my future. I would have had a big family if I could have.
Over the years my husband and I have discussed several different ideas, adoption foster care ect. Now a door has opened for us and we will be adopting at the end of the year. I am so excited and terrified at the same time. Even though I am always surrounded by babies, I can always give them back to momma. My husband is just as scared as me. It's been 12 years since we have had to deal with diapers, bottles and such. My husband fears we're not ready but we weren't ready with the others either. I would do whatever your heart tells you and you will know when the time is right.

My husband and I just recently had our third. We have a 4 and 2 yr old girl...and now a 3 month old buy. We always planned of having at least three but not necessarily this fast.
The decision to have a third child was easy for us because we wanted to try for a boy.
Now that we have three a lot of things have changed. For instance we have had to take away the girls "playroom" to use as a nursery, alot of time is given to the baby wich takes away from the time the older girls are used too, and we are even in the process of shopping for a new car with a 3rd row seat as our equinox is cramped pretty tightly when the whole family is in it.

all in all I do think you should go for that third...If you are really ready. Although you may miss the infant stage your attitude might change when he/she wakes up screaming at 3 am and wakes up your 3 yr old .lol
Good luck with whatever you decide!

B.,

Good afternoon. My sistger and my best friend both have three children and are loving it. I don't know about your religious stand point, but if you and your husband have both been talking about another baby for some time now, I think that God is telling you the plans he has for your family. Another child would be a blessing, especially since it sounds like you are ready!

My friend, who is also our pediatrician, gave me good advice when we were considering a third...she said in all her years practicing, she has never heard anyone regret having another child, but is frequently told by parents they wish they had had another when they were thinking about it...hope that helps.

Hi B., we did the same thing...talk about it, talk about it, talk about it. LOL! Until we decided to move to GA. After we had our BIG moving sale and sold almost everything, guess what?... I found out I was PREGO! That was such a funny but wild time in our lives. We decided to stay here in VA so I could see my regular OB since I have to have C-sections. He had done such a good job before that I wanted him to do the 3rd one too. Hubby agreed. In Feb 2006, we welcomed our 3rd son home. He was so cute and still is! Although he has rocked our world (he has more energy than both of the other 2 ever did at this age!) I can't even imagine our lives without him in it. We've had to cutback our spending and financially speaking, it's a little tighter. But the love he has brought to our lives, the fun and excitement a little one in the house brings...there's nothing that compares. And being a stay home mom (SAHM) allows me to see first hand all of those 'lightbulb moments' in their lives. LOL! I feel as though I get to enjoy more of the everyday stuff.
Prayer changes things. Always pray first and ask God what He wants for your family. Doing things His way is always easiest in the long run. LOL!
Good Luck to you and of course keep us posted!
Take Care,
N. :) SAHM homeschooling 3 boys 12, 7 & 2yrs old and married to Mr. Wonderful for almost 15 yrs. I absolutely love to help working moms, who really want to be SAHMs, reach their goals. We Moms are the 'glue' that holds our families together.

you're saying 'we', so i'm saying 'now'!
:) khairete
S.

Until I found out I was pregnant with my oldest son, I wasn't even sure I wanted to have kids. That pregnancy test changed my whole life!
I was a single mom for five years, and then married a man with two kids from a previous marriage.
We had a son right away, giving us four altogether. Look at us now! I'm 38 weeks pregnant with our fifth child!

If you want another one, just do it. You won't regret it!! But you may regret NOT having another one!!

i had the same thoughts and asked my friend who had 3. she told me that if you are still thinking of it as an option, go for it. She was right. We were weighing it out but we were very fortunate and had our 3rd baby last year. Now we KNOW our family is complete and I don't feel that I want any more babies!!! It's kind of like meeting THE ONE. When you know, you know!
Best wishes.

Your husband wants third, too!? Go for it! I know you may not want to go through the bother of an infant again, but it goes quick, doesn't it? And cute and cuddly is not overrated.

My husband and I are a one child family, but that's our thing. Sometimes we're selfish with our time and feel we don't deserve the one we have, but we both know we would have regretted not trying for a child. She's the love of our lives. Like the other ladies said, if there's any question about whether you're done, maybe you're not! You'll know. Bren and had I always talked about two and here we are happy with one. Things change.

I wouldn't wait too long if you do have the third. She/he might feel like and only child if the siblings are too much older.

Hope it works out for you.

-S.

Hi B. I am the mother of 6. I remember having gone thru 10 hours of labor with number 4 and my dear husband brought me roses with a note that read, " thank you for our sweet Complete family." I looked up at him with that brand new hours old baby in my arms and said, "we're not complete yet." I knew in my heart that more children were to come to our family. I knew when my darling Abbey was born #6 that we were complete. You will know when all of your family members are here. It sounds like you know you have another one that needs to join you.

I have read the part about "know you're ready and know you can afford it...' If you wait till you can afford a child you will NEVER have one. As for paying for college. My oldest son got a fullride because of his talent, my oldest daughter and her husband are working hard and getting Pell grants and student loans. My parents didn't pay for me and neither did my husband's parents. IN fact the one time i asked for help with tuition my father's reponse was..."It'll mean more to ya if you earn it yourself." I did and i never asked my parents for a dime.

I'm not sure why people think that kids can't pay for themselves. We did. You teach your children good work ethics and they will be fine. My son's had paper routes and lawn mowning jobs at age 8-10 and 12 and my daughter abbey has a regular babysitting job at age 12. She buys her own school clothes now.
Sorry... I hope i don't trip as i step off my soapbox now. good luck
mj

It sounds like you already know that your family is not yet complete. Children are blessings (not burdens as some posts make them sound) and if you want a 3rd blessing, then by all means go for it. Only you and your husband can make the decision, no one else, including all of us offering advice ;)

If you both want another and it is financially and emotionally possible (possible, not perfect) then go for it. You might be sorry down the road if you don't. Your almost 4 year old will be old enough so you aren't caring for two babies at once.

If you are both talking about wanting another, sounds like you have mostly made up your minds.
If you can handle it (expense/living space), then go for it! = )

Good luck!

I can relate to what you are feeling. I too have two children, an 8yr old and 3yr old, and my husband and I have been thinking about having another one. A lot of my friends think I'm crazy because we don't have to deal with diapers, bottles, and everything that comes with having a baby. I just don't know what it is. I feel like I'm thinking about all the time and when we talk about it my husband says lets just do it. The only advice I have is just go with your heart. Good luck.

Plans change...enough said, right? I say if both you and your husband want another baby, it's a no-brainer. Go for it!!
My youngest "baby" (and last!) is about to turn 2 years old, and I miss the snuggly baby stage, but I KNOW in my heart that I'm finished having kids! I think you'll know when you're done, and clearly it's not now :)

My husband and I are talking about the same thing. It is really hard to decide. I have two girls 3 and 1 1/2 and they are both bad sleepers and that make my decision even harder. I figure since I'm up already what will a third one make a difference, but what keeps stopping us is financially. People keep telling me that you will find a way to make it work if you really want it. You have to look at it this way, Can you handle another child. Is your life already so content will a third one change the whole routine, are you ready for that change. Also, what kind of family and friend support do I have to help me out if husband can't. Good luck, and I wish you all the best.

Well, it sounds to me like you want another, and the both of you are good to go on a 3rd. I would just make sure that this is something that you want.....and can afford!
You know what a baby entails and costs...just give that plenty of thought before you have another one.
Good Luck!

Well its true it is between you and your husband but since you both seem to keep the idea in your heads than it might be what you both want in your hearts. I come from a family of three and it was great growing up, also my brother has 5 kids and him and his wife love it. I think that people have given into having more stuff and dont really appreciate the meaning of a family. I think the more the merrier and think of the christmas's and thanksgiving dinners with all three of your kids and their children it's beautiful.... Im tellin you from experience. Im on my first one and cant wait till we plan our next one.... hehehe good luck and god bless

We struggled with the 2 or 3 question, then decided to go for it, and I can't imagine life without our 3rd daughter. If you both want it, the work of a baby is well worth it! I think your girls will enjoy being big sisters and helping with the baby!

It's all good. If this is what you two really want then I don't see anything wrong with it as you know you can afford it. Ask you two little girls if you haven't already to see how they feel about it. I guess you would want to see how they feel about and then go from there. I am 36 yrs. old and I wouldn't mind another baby but husband has already taken care of that for me if you know what I mean. I have a 5 yr. old boy and a 2 yr old girl. You never know this just might be your little boy but whatever you decide to do then that will be the best for your family. Good Luck and take care.
S. H.

For us, it was just putting our faith in God and saying if it happens it happens, if not ok. We've been without the diapers and all a bit longer, my girls are 7 1/2 & 6! : ) Our newest addition was due Monday, I'm hoping he's here by the weekend. I'll also be turning 37 at the end of the month. We're really excited and I even told my husband that a 4th is not out of the question. People talk about having the "extra" money to DO and BUY everything. What the world needs is more love and more happy families bring that love. Not multiple trips to Disney or the best of the best electronics and such. We're also blessed in that we do not have the need of daycare. Honestly it's not worth me working if we did.

If you have belief in God, I would suggest praying. Ask to help guide you. I'm SO happy we did. I had really thought we were finished, now I just can't wait to hold my little one. OH! And my little girls couldn't be happier. They ask me each day if he'll be here today. LOL.

God bless and be happy with your decision. : )

Dear B.,

I am a mother of two and we thought for a minute or so about having a third child. I love my two children more than anything and know that a third would have been just as much of a blessing. But - we decided to stop with two for several reasons - the main one being financial. With the cost of living today - we were concerned. We wanted to be able to give our two children all that they needed and more. With two children, I was able to stay at home with them until they were in high school. I will always treasure that. I know that some women are able to juggle work and family but I knew I was not one of those women who could give both work and family all the attention needed. My children are grown now - I have two grand-daughters and I work in a pre-school every day with 18-24 month olds. I love my work "babies." I am able to give them so much of me and equally important - I have had so many parents tell me that they have "peace of mind" knowing their child is with me in a loving, learning environment. I know this is probably not of much use to you in solving your question.
The only other thing I can say is - Look in your heart (you and your husband both) AND look in your mind. Know that having a third child would be a blessing and think and talk about if you can afford it (financially and emotionally).
I wish you the best.

both my husband and i were from families of three. in each of our cases, and many other we have noticed, working families have trouble dealing properly with more than two kids.

you said you work. have you ever thought about bad financial times, or loosing your husband, or if the child is not healthy? i have two kids, and it has been such a struggle to raise them well. i had my own beautiful home in country, i got to stay home with them, and still, even with much support, ect. it was difficult.

if you must have another child YOU are the only one who will pay the consequences of doing so for the rest of your life, (don't forget the kids you already have lives, either) but that said, that it is your own choice to make/bed to lay in, that having two beautiful children is just about everything a mom could hope for. and the road is long.

i have asked many mothers of many kids, and they all said they would do it over, but did say they wished they knew a few pitfalls, before they made the numbers so big.

if you already work, and the economy is so bad and not going to get better, its my opinion you are tampering with a good thing. each child is a 20 year, quarter of a million dollar project.

i hope you make the choice that is best for your family. best wishes, dani