Am I the Only Female Who Could Care Less About Valentines Day?

Updated on February 21, 2011
K.H. asks from Fernley, NV
57 answers

Hi ladies! Does anyone else out there not celebrate valentines day? My husband always makes a huge deal out of the holiday-he just thinks that all women expect a gift or flowers-frankly I could care less about celebrating it. My husband shows his love for me by rubbing my back, putting the laundry away, cooking breakfast on weekends(he tries lol!), holding my hand and saving up all year to get me a Coach bag for my birthdays. I get flowers maybe once a year-but he will save his change to get me Starbucks on the weekend. I in turn do lots of 'little thibgs' for him as well. The little things to me are more romantic then flowers and candy-I however am definitely in the minority with my friends! Does anyone else not celebrate it? Thanks for your opinions! Also what is the most romantic thing your SO does/did for you?

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So What Happened?

Wow! Thanks for all the responses! It's nice to know I am not a weirdo! It's awesome that you all can think of and appreciate the things our men do for us. The little things add way up! Sometimes it seems that we get so caught up in wanting flowers, diamonds, chocolate etc that we look past the sweet things they do for us. My mom and grandmas have all told me that you cab tell a man loves you by the little things he does. Men aren't super demonstrative-but when they love us, that is when they will 'try' to cook or load the dishwasher, open doors etc. I used to be so caught up in 'well if he loves me he will do A,B, C'. Bow I am so apprecuative when he bathes the kids and watches a movie with me that I know he hates :) I don't know about you ladies but I am going to give him a squeeze and telling him thanks for the little things! It is amazing what we can get out of our men when we appreciate them!

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L.M.

answers from New York on

We don' really celebrate. Since my b-day is in Feb and his in in Mar, we usually go away for along weekend (with the kids) for a family get away. Family time is the way we like to celebrate.

When we were dating, he sentt me flowers. They died 2 days later and knew by my reaction that although I appreciated the thought, I hated the flowers and the money that was wasted. Married 18 years, and I've never gotten any more flowers, which is fine with me.

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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

You are not alone! Valentine's day is for romance. It's nice, and I do get that on other days, but I've grown beyond that to the love and commitment phase, I'm not into the flowers, chocolate and dinner hype! I leave those for fiance's, newly weds, and boyfriend/girlfriends, etc.

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B.R.

answers from Bloomington on

I dont put too much stake into VDAy either. My husband and i are not exchanging gifts, and we are both fine with that :)
As for the most romantic thing he does, he is very supportive.
Throughout my whole pregnancy he has been right by my side ready to help me with anything i need.
My favorite time of the day is getting home from work and having him hold me as we relax :)

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Valentines Day is to go the extra mile to make someone filled loved. Every year my husband gets me some kind of singing bear, last year i got one that sings "My Girl" after 30 years of marriage you have to get creative. The most romantic thing though that my husband ever did for me is a toss up between carving the words "J. I love you" in the back yard with the lawn mower, and singing "stand by me" and a surprise birthday party in front of about 100 people. Ladies cards are memories, dates are memories, I have every card my husband has ever given me, a few in frames, but most of them are in photo albums, were all different. J.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I got O. for you--Valentines Day is ALSO our anniversary and I still hate to make a big deal! haha
Not to mention it's nearly impossible to grab an anniversary bite when the whole world is out on a date.....
Add to that I hate the "color" of Valentines Day, the crazy school party, the commercial aspect of it all.
So I'm with you--I'll take my love evenly distributed throughout the year, thank you!

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M.V.

answers from New York on

I happen to love Valentine's Day, so won't get into a debate about that.... but to answer your question about romantic things my hubby does for me, I would have to say that he wakes me up nicely every morning, and leaves a cup of coffee for me in the bathroom every single day. This means alot, since I am SO not a morning person! (yes, it's the little things that count, each and every day!)

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B.B.

answers from New York on

I am with you girl! We don't make a big deal out of Valentine's Day at all. I specifically ask him NOT to buy me flowers, as the prices are jacked up so much higher on Valentine's Day. We don't really do dinner or anything either as it is so busy and you don't really get the service you normally would.

My mom offered to watch the kids for us this year, we keep joking that we are going to drop them off at her house and come back to our house and just chill out!

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K.N.

answers from Harrisburg on

I'm with you...I don't care about V. I have a lot of friends and co-workers who will always ask "What did your husband get you for V-day?" When I say we don't exchange, they tilt their heads and say, "awww, that's too bad" lol

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S.D.

answers from Burlington on

You're not alone! When I started dating my husband I told him I didn't want flowers on V-day. I just don't see the sense in spending $60 on a bouquet of flowers that the next day will cost you $20. I'd rather be surprised at work or when I come home with flowers "just because" then get them the same day as everyone else because it's "expected". Both our birthdays are within a week of V-day (19 and 21), so we focus more on our birthdays. I know my husband loves me when he shovels the snow off our roof when he has the flu and fixes anything inside or outside the house when it breaks without a single complaint.

IAs for him doing nice things for me, there have been several occasions where he's made something really neat and personal for me, such as the time I was regretting not ordering this chili pepper clock for my kitchen in time and then it was discontinued, so he got a block of wood and the catalog picture and carved and painted the wood to look like the chili pepper, added a clock to it and a message on the back and gave it to me for my birthday. I also saw some wrought iron bar stools that I wanted but they were super expensive. They had neat Southwest designs and pictures carved into the backrests, that you could choose from. He made me my own barstools with silouettes of Pikes Peak and Garden of the Gods (landmarks of my hometown of Colorado Springs) and a cutout of a buffalo (one of my favorite animals) on it. He also made some really neat unique things for me when my dad passed away. Yeah, I know he loves me, Valentine's Day or not!

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I pretty much hate valentines. I am happily married for 8 years and we used to out on valentine's because we felt we should but it was always overcrowded/overpriced. When we were dating my husband would buy me $5 bouquets at random but I would be so mad if he spent money on flowers for valentines. we do buy gifts for valentines but usually something we want and maybe need. This year I wanted a sewing machine. He wanted the body by jake gym door thing. I would much rather bake cookies with my kids and celebrate the love of my family. I can celebrate the love of me and my husband every other day of the year when I don't have to wait 2 hours for the reservation I made to spend $200 on dinner with another couple (we don't know) practically sitting in my lap. I thought I was the only one too! Thanks for asking!

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Had to chime in on this one.... I hate this holiday. Your husband sounds wonderful. My husband is the same, awesome to me every day of the year and I just love him for it!

He will clean my car (always trashed), put gas in it, bring me a glass of wine in the evening, and when he asks about my day, he actually stops and listens to my answer! Many women may not find that romantic, but I'll take it any day over a dozen ridiculously priced roses!

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G.T.

answers from Modesto on

I dont care about it either. I think its for kids and young lovers.

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M.D.

answers from Victoria on

I already tol my husband "Do not get me anything" I think it is a Hallmark holiday and I can do with out it. However, I do put together a little goody bag for my kids.. less than 10.00 spent total for all 3.

My husband will do anything for me anytime I ask...Thats my most romantic thing

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L.N.

answers from New York on

I don't care about being romantic on V-day. My hubby is not a romantic so I don't expect a romance surgery on him that day. But yes, I do expect a nice dinner out with our kids and a gifts for all of us. I have always been into that.

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A.G.

answers from Dallas on

I am not a fan of Valentine's Day at all. Neither is my husband. We don't acknowledge it - no cards, no gifts, no special dinner. We do get the kids a little something, but they know we do it more as a joke than anything else. We tell them we love them all year, not just February 14.

The most romantic thing my husband does for me is clean the entire house top to bottom every Wednesday on his day off. That way I don't have to mess with it on the weekends when I am off. He does it specifically to make my life easier. He also moved our oversized comfy chair right in front of the fireplace when it was so cold so that I could get cozy. He knows how much I love fires (we have a huge fireplace), and I thought that was so thoughtful of him!

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P.W.

answers from Dallas on

I like to be acknowledged. In the early years it was a big deal, but like you my husband is pretty considerate so I don't usually need too much attention. Sometimes I do feel like attention though and one year we said we would do nothing and I felt kind of bad. So now we at least exchange cards, but on those years I let him off the hook. I tell him ahead of time. "I don't need anything but a card this year, so don't worry about it. How about you?"

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J.B.

answers from Phoenix on

We are the same. It is a marketing holiday. We should tell & show our loved ones that we love them every day not just once a year!

The most romantic thing hubby does is take my hand while we are driving somewhere and kiss it :)

Also, he likes to get me flowers on off days...just because. He likes to send them to work to surprise me, then I get questions all day of "why did you get flowers?". In his eyes, mine too, flowers are most enjoyed when they are not expected. Anybody can think to get flowers on Vday....what is special about that

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

My hubby and I have never really celebrated. When the kids came along, I got more in to the day. I decorate with red streamers and ballons. I create a treasure hunt game for them to find the "tub of love", which is just filled with some cute little dollar store toys and some chocolates. I've been doing this for the past 4 years now...my kids are now 9 and 6 and they so look forward to the hunt. And I get such a kick out of them running all over the house reading the clues I have left. lol!!! Then for dinner we order a heart-shaped pizza! =)

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N.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

Nope..same reasons pretty much as the others.

We are Minnesotans who love to snowmobile in the mountains. And for many many years, we would plan at least one big mountain trip, and in February is a great time. We always needed our daughter to be IN school, to accommodate my adult age niece who would stay here with her. My niece had to go to work each day, so she would just accommodate my daughters school hours (shortening her work day a few hours, as I do home daycare, so no daycare to have her at the rest of the time).

But a bunch of the guys we did these trips with could NOT go during Valentines day! OMG! My husband and I started jokingly calling it "Séance day!" cuz these men told us their wives needed the candy and flowers..and the candles burning everywhere! Apparently I was the "cool" and understanding wife..I just wanted to go ride the powder in the mountains. I just wore my pink and red hat at the bar that night! LOL

I like "flowers cuz its wednesday (or whatever day)" better...or the day he brings me lunch when hes working in our area (he does service calls and is all over the Twin Cities)...or calls when hes off work early to see if its ok to grab Dilly Bars for my daycare kids on a hot summer day (for an afternoon treat)....or when hes quiet on a weekend morning so I can sleep in a little (he is a very early riser..so he will go play Xbox, or clean stuff in the garage, etc)...

Over 20 years and its worked for us!!!

Happy non-V-day!

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

It's a marketed holiday.

We don't celebrate it.

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

I think V Day is for single people wooing each other. Honestly, once you're married and "sharing" money you're really just buying yourself these things...which seems silly to me. We also don't buy birthday or Christmas gifts for each other either. If either of us wants something we just go buy it for ourselves when we want it.

S.H.

answers from Spokane on

Nope ~ couldn't care less about V-day. I'd much rather get flowers or candy "just because" vs. on a day that has been over hyped. We do valentine's with the kids for school/daycare and we do something small for our kids but that's it.
My hubby will randomly bring me flowers or a card and I love that! Or occasionally he will bring me a coffee in the afternoon on his way to work. It's those little things that show me that he thinks about me and that means the world to me!

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K.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I guess NOT celebrating is more common than we think. I really don't relate to women that have these superficial expectations and the men who play into and emasculate themselves in the process. My husband and I (together 8 yrs) have never made an effort to go out on the actual day. The crowds and overpriced meals that leave you feeling so full and lazy that the celebration usually ends right there is not our idea of a good time. I don't think we've every exchanged gifts either. My promise to him is and has always been to take care of him and to appreciate him and everything he does - big and small - for his family and for everyone around him. (I don't always succeed by trying is just as important.) We're more of experience people. A picnic in the park, a trip to the museum, trying a new recipe, walking to get frozen yogurt. I'm smiling just thinking about it!

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K.B.

answers from St. Louis on

I have not celebrated since high school. Personally, I'm just not into it and would rather have the signs of affection all year long as opposed to having it all put into one big day. My boyfriend was shocked when I first told him that we didn't have to do anything for the day and thought I was tricking him! lol Even growing up, my parents never celebrated because their first date ever was supposed to be on Valentine's Day and my dad got incredibly sick and they couldn't go. They went on their first date a week later and so that is the day they celebrate 32 years later.

As far as the most romantic thing ever? I don't know if he's done anything super romantic. He's more the kind of guy who shows his affection through actions (i.e. I come home and he cleaned the whole house). I do the sweetest things he's done recently is when he gets me the foods that I've been craving even without asking if I want anything when he runs to the store. It always catches me off guard and it helps me remember that he really does think about me and what I'm going through right now with the pregnancy.

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J.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I personally think its a very overcommercialized "holiday"

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B.B.

answers from Detroit on

You know... One of my Facebook friends put up a post about this very topic... I replied in support of her when HER friends started belittling her... What were the "friends" response to me? "You can tell who didn't get anything" and "My boyfriend knows better than to come thru that door without a good present"...
I laughed... Hubby and I have been married for almost 11 years and NEVER did valentines day... Yet as the ladies here prove, Its about the little things on a daily, weekly basis that proves a love and relationship, Not a one day present that you really can't afford because prices triple on certain things around that time... I can't say when my hubby last bought me flowers... But he provides for me and our 4 kids, Shows us affection and spends his time with us, helps around the house, and is a true soulmate, father, friend, and blessed man!... Those are things that no amount of money can buy. :-)

Most romantic thing? WELL, lol The year before our 4th child (so 2009) A few days before my 30th birthday, He called me at lunch time and told me to pack a bag. He arranged to have his parents watch the 3 kids and he would not tell me where we were going... We got in the car, dropped the kids off (an hour and a half away from our house) and then he proceded to drive about 5 hours to cincinatti... :-) A weekend just me and him in cincinatti. That was the first time we had taken any kind of childless trip since our honeymoon 9 years before.

M.R.

answers from Rochester on

Neither of us make any kind of deal about it. We don't care for it in general and didn't before we even met, and our anniversary is the 19th, so we find ourselves more often than not frustrated by hitting "holiday" rates for things or reservations. We had to pay a holiday rate for a B&B one year five days after the holiday on our anniversary (I was not happy). And tomorrow night we are going out for our 7-year anniversary since we couldn't get a sitter for the next Saturday (and I'm already due in 3 1/2 weeks so we don't want to chance it), but we had to make reservations for "Valentine's Day." Ick. :)

Oh, and the most romantic little things he does is pick up Buttermilk for me at the grocery store (he knows how much I love it!), or Smarties (my favorite sugar treat). He also gives me massages when I need them and lets me go to bed when I'm exhausted and he'll stay up and put down the kids.

S.J.

answers from St. Louis on

Nope, you are not the only one. I could care less about getting flowers or something. We don't really do much for each other besides something little and thoughtful, like a little love note or something. I wish hubby would rub my back and cook for me!! Lucky!!

Most romantic thing he does....hmmmm, I would have to say when he picks out lingerie for me. It may sound corny, but he really puts a lot of thought into it and I know he cannot be comfortable in the store, but he goes anyway! It is so cute!

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I couldn't care less. We're getting each other cards b/c my husband works for Hallmark, but I keep having to tell him we dont need presents.

H.V.

answers from Cleveland on

I feel the same. I really could care less about Vday.
My hubby is always trying to do things for me. Doing Laundry, letting me sleep in on the weekends, *tryin* to cook dinner, backrubs etc
I also do things for him all the time.
I think if you love someone you shouldn't have to do something special on VDAY just to show it. You should show you love them every day of the year. But that's just my opinion.
I think one of the most romantic things that my hubby and I did for eachother was on our anniversary.
When I was pregnant with our 1st child....We took a weekend away. We spent the weekend in a hotel in the middle of downtown Chicago. I surprised him by buying us tickets to a Cubs baseball game. His favorite sport and team. He surprised me by taking me out to dinner to this amazing lil fondue restaurant called Geja's. It was so romantic and just so much fun.

We try, almost every weekend to have a night, after the kids are in bed, Where we put on some music, maybe have a few drinks, and just play cards and talk. It's our lil cheap "date night"

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Yup, with ya! We don't really celebrate either. I have never been "into" Valentine's Day so my husband was kind of excited about that...LOL! We usually do cutsie stuff and he will usually bring home flowers for me, which I do like and appreciate. This year I will probably buy a heart shaped pizza for us, put the kids to bed and we'll hang out and cuddle...maybe we'll even play a rousing game of Scrabble! ;) I think it's important to have perspective and to me, Valentine's Day doesn't need to be an extravagant day!

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

I think it is a Hallmark Holiday and we dont celebrate it.

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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I hate Valentines Day. It's such a ridiculous holiday with SUCH pressure on people to be "romantic", really silly. I'm not a romantic and neither is my husband, so we don't do anything special for each other JUST because it's Valentines. But I DO bake little individual heart shaped cakes for my three little lovies (because it's the one day a year my cool 13yr old son will eat a red cake with pink frosting, decorated with little hearts, and my daughters...well, what little girl doesn't love a pink cake?). My kids love it and I love doing it for them. A few years ago, my hubby *tried* to celebrate by buying me a 2lb box of chocolates. I am a chocolate addict, if it's in my house, I will eat it all in one sitting. I was, at the time, desperately trying to lose weight and fighting for every pound. He knew all this and still got me that *2lb* box of chocolate. I ate the entire box within 24hours and demanded that he NEVER do that again. So far, he hasn't.

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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Both my husband and I could care less about it:) Yes, the everyday things mean much more!

The most romantic thing my husband has done for me? being the very best coach and support throughout my four deliveries. He was awesome, I'll never forget it! And just being there for me as a best friend in general, always just right there next to me, figuratively, everyday. We are truly a union- THAT'S romantic:) Things (objects) are nothing to me- as far as romance is concerned.

J.E.

answers from Erie on

My hubby and I both agree that Vday is just a greeting card holiday. We dont celebrate it. But..now I just use Vday as an excuse to buy my LO's sweet little presents :)

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A.F.

answers from Burlington on

No. You are not alone. I am not currently in a relationship, but whenever I was I could have cared less. Your husband sounds very thoughtful and sweet!

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C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

yes, it's lame. I also think New years is lame. i am sooooo not a person that likes big gestures. My daughters bday is 2/14. so, it is a much bigger deal here than it needs to be.

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S.Z.

answers from Reno on

It's not a big deal holiday for me. We always get something for our kids, and usually go out to dinner (nothing fancy). I'm not a big expensive gift person.

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D.M.

answers from San Diego on

We don't do much at all. We do stuff for our daughters, like get little trinkets and candy. That's about it!

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A.H.

answers from Washington DC on

You are not alone. I could not care less about that day and I never make a big fuss out of it. I know that I am loved and I do not need flowers and other stuff to let me know.

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E.W.

answers from New York on

Could care less myself. I even tell my husband not to get me a card cause its only going to go in the trash in a few days anyway. Its silly to me and could really care less. He loves me and I love him, we show each other all year. Don't need a special day for it.

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A.L.

answers from Charleston on

Hate it. Why celebrate love one day a year? Hubby and I didn't celebrate it at all until our daughter became old enough to understand the holiday. Now all we do is buy something small for the kids and maybe a card for each other. I think the holiday was another invention of Hallmark so they could make more money. ha! :)

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M.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I know I'm a few days late on this, but I'm totally on the same page! My husband and I are affectionate and romantic everyday with the little things we do, so it just feels silly to celebrate what I think is a Hallmark holiday.

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A.G.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't celebrate it. I fele that you should do special little things all the time to show each other your love. How much effort does it take to click and order a bouqet off of a website? Everything is over priced and over rated.....this is only my opinion. Some people love it. So I feel to each her own but my man knows how I feel and respects that.

Most romantic thing....when we first started dating I had mentioned that I needed to buy new panties. The next day my guy showed up at work with a nordstroms box and asked me to call him later. He had taken the time to go and buy me a ton of new panites. It was a gift that both of us have enjoyed ever since. It wasn't so much the panties that was romantic but the fact that he took time to think out side the box and get something for me I really needed.

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M.!.

answers from Columbus on

We don't.

In 11 years we celebrated 1 time - and that's b/c my husbands older brother forced us too as a double date when we were 17, lol.

My husband shows me his love every other day of the year. We don't need a commerialized holiday to tell eachother "I Love You".

The most romantic thing he has done - gave me our 3rd child. HeHe. Sounds weird maybe, but he knew how much I wanted to have our family grow and well - We now have 3 children!. He He. (And the irony... she was created last February around V-Day, hehe).

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T.K.

answers from Honolulu on

My Boyfriend of 7 almost 8yrs & I don't celebrate. We show each other we care everyday 2/14 is just another day.

We have dinner dates once or twice a month- We have a 8 month old daughter we bring along. I call them my TWINS

Updated

My Boyfriend of 7 almost 8yrs & I don't celebrate. We show each other we care everyday 2/14 is just another day.

We have dinner dates once or twice a month- We have a 8 month old daughter we bring along. I call them my TWINS

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P.W.

answers from Las Vegas on

I told my husband years ago, when we were 1st married that I did not like valentines day. Since my birthday is just 2 days before. I wanted to celbrate that instead.
We do little things for each other thru out the year. He is always making things with his hands to give me. And I cook a special dinner for him once a month.
P. Wilson

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Like I said in a previous post, we do not do anything terribly special for Vday, this is typically when I get a new perfume of my choice but mostly because this is when a lot of retailers put them on sale or give special extras for buying a bottle ... we really do not do anything but if there is something special one or the other wants we will get it. We do not get into all the holiday stuff in general. It is nice when others are getting flowers and stuff to have them as well but not needed.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Nope, I'm the same way. My husband loathes Valentine's Day as much as me! I don't understand why people feel so pressured and obligated. We're happy to show our love throughout the year in special ways.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Nah! We do stuff for it usually, but as far as holidays go, I'm the most ambivalent about Valentine's Day. I think it's fun to bake something with the kids and help them pick out valentines, but this year I couldn't care less about doing anything for it ourselves. Just not in the mood! We'll probably wind up going out for wine and tapas or something on Sunday. We always celebrate on the 13th because that's the day we got engaged, but I seriously just don't care this year!

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E.E.

answers from Cleveland on

Nope you not my husband and i dont do anything for it, i consider it a hallmark holiday!

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H.B.

answers from Waterloo on

my grandma died on valentine's day 12yrs ago- i havent been especially fond of the holiday since. the way i look at it- why make a big deal on romance this 1 day a year? shouldnt we romance each other everyday? :D

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C.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

We don't celebrate it either. We think is a holiday designed only for monetary profit. my son, however, does make valentine cards for our close family members.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

I only think its a great excuse for me to have a date with my hubby....otherwise like you I don't waste my time or money on this hallmark holiday.

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H.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

I also do not celebrate Valentines day, in my opinion it's an over commercialized day designed to get men in trouble, and frankly they do that enough on their own they do not need help from Halmark and Russel Stovers. I believe that if you love someone, then Valentines day should be every day! I also agree with you that it's the little things that count. It's funny though my boyfriend and I are celebrating our two year anniversary today as well, and we started dating, two years ago at an Anti-Valentines Day party =) lol... We are doing something for our anniversary but we are waiting until next weekend so we don't have to hassle with the Valentines day crowds =).

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...

answers from Phoenix on

I didn't read your responses. But, I'm just like you. I could care less about Valentine's day or flowers... although I love flowers and love to get them, if I don't get them, I don't fall apart. =) Everyone has different love languages and usually people who feel loved by getting things etc, that's how they tend to show their love to others. My primary love language is encouraging words. When people say nice things to me or get me a sweet card etc., then I feel loved. Some people feel loved by getting flowers etc. Gifts are my least love language and my hubby's too. So we don't usually get each other anything. My other love language is quality time. My hubby and I are aware of each others primary love language so we know what makes each other feel loved. Anyway, I'm right there with you. =) It sounds like your primary love languages may include, acts of service (doing laundry and cooking breakfast) and physical touch and closeness (rubbing your back and holding your hand.) =)

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