Am I Ready to Potty-train My 19 Month Old and Wean Her from Her Bottle???

wean from bottle: always depends on the child... but from reading the post it seems your DCP dropped the feeding, not weaned her onto a sippy cup. if she seems hungry and is losing weight (or not gaining enough), ask the DCP to reinstitute it.

potty train: no. if your daughter can not effectively communicate, she won't be able to tell you when she has to go to the bathroom. you'll get frustrated & she'll get messy. by getting books about going potty & reading them, you'll plant the seeds... then, if you see her squatting down & KNOW she is going potty, tell her what she's doing. "hey, you're going poop!", so she'll begin to associate the feeling with the word.

just my 2 cents

1 mom found this helpful

Hi S., I may be behind in the times, but 19 months to potty train is a little young. I think they should be somewhat ready to do that, and you are the only one who would know that. Usually the age is between 2-3. As far as the bottle goes that is a hard one. My kids were both off the bottle completly by the time they were 21/2. I would have people tell me all the time they shouldn't have a bottle. If I were you, I wouldn't do it cold turkey. I would maybe start with one and see how that works. Good Luck

1 mom found this helpful

I personally think your baby is ready to go bottle-less. What are you giving her in the bottle and how many oz are the bottles? My daughter is 19 months old also and the dr said she should only have 12 oz of milk the rest should be water. I don't think a bottle will help her sleep better, but a little protein right before nap might help fill her up for a good nap.
My niece naps pretty well at home, but when she's at my mom's house (who watches my niece and my daughter) her nap is about half the time. My daughter naps about 3 hours at our house, but only 45 min to an hour at my mom's and she hasn't had a bottle since she turned one. When I transitioned my daughter we went to a sippy cup and gave her that with water in as I read her books at night. Sippy cups make the transition pretty easy.
Sorry if this seems all over the map, my brain isn't working tonight.
Best of luck,
C.

1 mom found this helpful

While girls *generally* can potty train sooner than boys, I still think 19 months is young if anything - most definitely NOT "old"!
My son didn't potty train till 4? (I forget now! wow) but I am glad I did not potty train even though I felt bad/wondered if I should work on potty training after we moved here when he was 3 and found some boys the same age or slightly younger that had potty trained. Reason I say that is because after being out with these other 'potty trained' boys I realized - they were potty trained to pee only, but they still pooped in their pants!! Eyuck. I'd far rather deal with poopy diapers than poopy underwear!!!

Also, you have a baby coming, I have no experience with this but have heard of young older siblings regressing when the baby is born.

Don't push. Dont make her grow up just because someone somewhere else thinks it is "old" or "time" or "everyone" else does it.

Follow your gut feelings, and let her ease into milestones. She has her own timetable. There is PLENTY of time for her to be pushed to progress at other people's pace once she enters school, let her grow up on her own timetable for now.

Also - when SHE is truly ready for potty training, it will be easy, quick, amazing, pleasurable. If you try to train her before she is ready, it will be a long hair-pulling frustrating experience. Each child has a "magic" date (magic because nothing works before then and it's totally top secret to everyone!) by when they can be potty trained. It may be 2, it may be 3, or it may be 4. Whatever you do before then, is just going to be that much longer of a potty training process. (I am sure some will disagree with me here and I have no science to back this up, it is just my personal theory but my point is - if you WANT the hassle of potty training, go right ahead. If you want to keep it short & sweet, wait till she's ready!)

Signs of readiness: When she can wake up in the morning dry. When she can make herself go pee (before a bath for example). When she can tell you (or you can tell by her physical behaviors) that she needs to go. And another consideration - when she can manage to pull down her clothes to sit on the potty.
If she is potty trained at 2 but still needs you for the next 2 years to go with her "right now" to the potty to help her get her pants off & on, hm. That's not my goal, independence is.

1 mom found this helpful

Just that you ask the question, probably means you aren't ready. Good advice on this is to wait until they are past the stage where they say "no" automatically to everything. Your daughter hasn't even entered that stage.

It used to be common to potty train girls between 18-24 mos/boys between 24-30 mos but it seems that many children are starting later (not unusual for a 3 yr old to be in diapers). Disposable diapers are so much better than they used to be (in terms of rash, leaks, etc--we won't talk about the environment) that many working moms just wait until their children are older. Also it is more difficult if you aren't at home (potty training on weekends takes longer).

About the bottle, you could transition to a sippy cup, but if she really prefers the bottle you don't want to turn it into a battle. The point is nutrition, right? Very few children start kindergarten taking a bottle. Don't stress over it.

Whatever you do, don't try to do both at the same time. It could turn into a bottle battle in a puddle. Gotta ask, do you have a poodle? ;D

Uniting both of these questions is the theme of moving on to the next stages. Don't rush. Treasure every stage. Once you move on, that time is gone and you will look back and wonder why it went so fast. Some of it you won't miss (dirty diapers), but some of it, you will (talking to her on the changing table). Don't worry about what other people are doing, do what feels right to you until it doesn't, then move on. Trust your daughter to show you when she's ready.

1 mom found this helpful

Definitely wean before potty training...she will learn how to put herself to sleep without the bottle as soon as you stop. I stoopped nursing/bottle at 12 months and our ritual at bedtime became much more interative and loving. I think being so concerned about feeding before bed takes some of that away. If she had dinner, a snack, and/or something to drink in the last couple hours before bed, go for it without the bottle, she's fine. I do think you are setting yourself up for a very hard battle if you wait too much longer.

Have you considered that she may be so tired from daycare due to all the play and action? My son goes down an hour earlier when he spent the day with other kids.

Good luck!

Dear S.,
Keep in mind that all kids are different.
With my first baby, I thought, "She'll be on target if she does this by this age and that by that age"....
She was on her own little schedule.
She weaned herself from the breast at 4 months, was walking at 7 months, using the toilet at 18 months.
I certainly wasn't ready for any of that, but SHE was. She was a little dynamo. She's 22 now, and is still that way.
I don't think 19 months is either too old or too young to introduce the potty concept. You can start out by letting her see you use the big potty. Take her in the bathroom with you. Using the toilet is what people do and they do it several times a day. My son came along 10 years after my daughter and he was so easy to potty train. Being a boy, he was fascinated with how the toilet actually worked. I let him flush the toilet and we'd say, "Bye-bye mommy's pee!" Sure enough, he wanted on the pot too.

As far as the bottles, I think that if your daughter is fine without having one for naptime at daycare, she would be just as fine without it at home. It's not like she's losing her bottle all together at this point, but you will have to stop giving her one sooner or later. I think letting her have 2 bottles a day is fine for a while and then get her down to 1. You still have 5 months until she's two years old. You can ease into these things. Two years old isn't a defintive number, but you do want to consider, when you cut her back to 1 bottle per day, whether she gets her bottle in the morning upon waking or at night for sleeping. Bottles at night are not good for children's teeth.
Give your little one lots of loves and cuddles and you'll all be fine.

Best wishes.

Agree with Thea,

She's pretty young to be potty trained, wait until 28-30 months, at least. It will go a lot quicker if she's ready. Nothing precludes you from buying her a potty so she can test it and play around with it and get familiar with it. Right?

As for the bottle, she can drink from a sippy cup or even a cup, but she's still pretty young to be completely weaned (I think). And don't diminish her milk or milk product intake until at least after age 3. She needs lots of protein and calcium to strengthen her growing bones (and she's growing fast now!) Of course, she can eat cheese and yoghurt, too, but nothing like a warm cuddly bottle of milk with mommy after a long day being separated.

Kids grow up so fast these days. Why not let yours be "a baby" for just a bit longer. I did with now my four year old son and he's a perfectly normal and well adapted kid. He potty trained at 3.5 years (took about 5 days and he got it!) and weaned totally off a bottle at about the same age, without problems. It's your choice, but I wouldn't push her too fast.

I would not do both at the same time. I would start with the bottle. The longer you wait to take it away the harder it will be. When my oldest turned a year I took it away all together. This seemed to be the easiest for myself. It was hard for about a week, but then it was like she forgot all about it. Good luck to you!

On the potty training. I would not push it. When my daughter was 20 months I bought a potty and just kept it next to mine. She showed little interest at first. A few months later I bought panties and let her run in the backyard with them (it was summer) to get her used to them. Right after her second birthday is when I really started trying with her and she had it down that week.

Hi S.,

19 months is NOT "old" to be in diapers. Being potty-trained at 2 is generally considered pretty young. Most kids aren't reliable on the potty until 2 1/2, 3 or even older. If your daughter is not expressing any interest in potty training, there's no point in starting unless you are just dying to see her on a toilet. Lots of people start early, but that doesn't mean they finish early. Wait until she's ready and the process will be a lot quicker and more enjoyable for you both.

As for the bottle... she is old enough to physically drink from a cup (or at least a sippy cup). Why not switch to a cup of milk at her usual bottle times instead of the bottle?

Hope this helps,
T.

Personal Opinion: Forget what those other mother's are saying because it's you who might have to deal with your daughter's wrath if she's not ready for it. =) We gradually weaned our daughter from her sippy cup (didn't use the bottle much but was the same concept on times of day) and she did fine. The only thing the doctor has said is that not to lay your child down with the bottle because the milk will stay on their teeth and might cause cavities later.
As for the potty training, I tried to go cold turkey after my daughter was showing interest and it back fired! She was misearable and cranky the whole week so I decided to put her back in diapers and 2 days after her 2nd birthday she said no more diapers. I did also let her pick out some underwear and we even now still call all of them her "ponies". =) It is much better when it's more on their terms of when they're ready with lots of good encouragement from you. Be prepared that she might not want to go on public potties though. I bought a travel potty that unfolds and works great.
I wish you the best!

Jen

Hi S.,
Get the Once Upon a Potty DVD! It's amazing! My 14 month old is already going peepee and poo in the potty because of this. Good luck.

J

hi S.,
first let me just say everything happens in it's own time. with that being said i wouldn't stress yourself out over what other people think you should be doing with your child and when, however there is no reason a bottle can't be replaced by a sippy cup, and you may be surprised at how relatively easily your child adapts at 19 months. it will be much easier now than say 3 or 4. At 1 yr i just stopped giving my daughter the woobie (paci) and bottle, she just went with it to young to demand any differently and three days later it was as if nothing had been changed in her routine. as far a potty training you could pick one out together now, set it up, explain what it's used for, remind her that it is hers, and she picked it out, show her how her dollies use it, and invite her to sit on hers when you sit on yours..."mommy has to use the potty why don't we use our potties together..." she will or she won't,but eventually she will. we did this on and off from the time my daughter was 16 mos. and left it entirely up to her. then one day at about 30 mos she just did it on her own without being prompted within two weeks she used it exclusively and now at 34 mos, she is completely potty trained day and nite, no pull ups and no accidents to speak of. to be honest i feel somewhat guilty, in that i really didn't do anything, and all the time felt as if i should be doing more especially when friends and family inquired as to how was potty training going. but that was me and that was my daughter. you do what you and your daughter feel best suits you and her. as for the daycare provider, even hough you say you're not mad, i would reiterate to her that while appreciative for her help in weening your child, you would prefer it if before making any changes, she would first bring it up to you, so that you and your husband may choose the best course of action in the raising and care of your child. thank her for respecting your wishes and for agreeing to let you and your husband be the deciding bodies with regard to your child's well being. if you don't set up this boundry now there could be serious troubles in the future.
good luck and relax,
A.

My votes (okay, opinions):
Ready to potty train? NO! Even if your little one was interested--which I doubt she is--she doesn't yet have the physiological maturation necessary for bladder control.

Ready to wean from the bottle? YES!
Don't know if this is according to Hoyle, but I need to get to work so I'm quoting from my post of last November:
"I'm a pediatric speech-language pathologist. Sippy cups and bottles are the same in terms of lip, jaw, and tongue motor development. Just as your baby needs to progress from crawling to walking, he/she needs to progress from suckling (bottle/breast/sippy cup) to sucking (straw) and cup drinking (no lid). Drinking from straws and cups without lids helps develop jaw stability, tongue retraction, tongue and lip muscle tone--all things that facilitate clear speech production" IMHO, the "good" in "good sippy cup" refers to floors, not mouths!

For proper oral muscle development, babies need to suckle for only about 8 months. As far as comfort, I'm no expert there. That's a mommy call! (But I did read a study that indicated children who rely on a bottle/passifier for self comfort are at greater risk of becoming adult smokers or overeaters that other kinds of self-comforters.) Also, a public health nurse told me that plain water should be the only liquid "served" in a bottle, once the first tooth errupts. A bottle w/ juice or milk as a bedtime companion helps finance your dentist's child's education. Just a little "food for thought".

S.,

Based on what you've written, I'd say that you'd be nuts to try and wean AND potty train at the same time. In my opinion you don't need to be in a hurry to do either, particularly if you're noticing that she seems tired and cranky in daycare. But if you have to pick one I'd pick weaning first, as she seems to be doing okay starting it, and it really will open up other bonding experiences for the two of you. (I may be wrong, but at 19 months you're probably not cradling her and giving her the bottle anyway. By then mine were holding and drinking on their own so it wasn't very bonding anyway). If you wait longer on that it may be more difficult...

As for the potty training, I have no idea why your mom friends are telling you that 19 monts is 'old.' I haven't heard anything like that since the 50's, when most moms were using cloth diapers and didn't have home washing machines! :) To be fair, around 19 months my daughter did have a few weeks where she initiated interest in the potty, but it faded. She became interested again around three years old, and potty trained in a snap. All of my friends that tried earlier ended up going through months and months of accidents, on the floor, on the sofa, on the changes of clothes, etc. So their kids didn't actually end up totally potty trained until about the same time mine did, and I didn't have to spend a year wiping up pee.

Hope that helps, none of this will matter to her one way or another when she's an adult, whatever you decide. Trust your instinct to not push her to grow up so fast. It will happen fast enough on it's own, and it sounds like with you working that you may need more time to baby her yourself...and that is PERFECTLY okay. Good luck!

Do NOT worry about potty training a 19 month old. Forget what others are saying and follow your instinct and wait.

Do what you want to do at home. If your daycare provider does something different your daughter will adjust. I finally fully weaned my youngest off the bottle at 4, which I know is wacky, but he's fine now.

Also, it drives me NUTS when outsiders start telling people their kid should be potty trained. 19 months is REALLY early. I remember a friend and my mother told me my oldest son should be potty trained, and he and I had been completely happy the way things were, but I stupidly listened to them and it was the first time I had ever had conflict with my son. He had poop holding issues till he was about 8. Don't listen to them. Do what you have been doing, if you and your daughter are happy.

I think that you should wean her from the bottle first before doing any potty training, and you should wean her right away. My pediatrician recommended weaning at about 12 months, and that was about the time that my children were weaned from the bottle. Also, you daughter should probably have a two-hour nap a day and sleep about 10 hours at night. She may be grumpy because she may not be sleeping enough. Sometimes, chidlren at that age have two naps, one in the afternoon and one in the morning. I seem to remember that my youngest did that, but with your daugther in day care, that may not be possible.

I do not suggest potty training at this young of an age. I have three children, 13, 11 and 7, and I never really potty trained them. I know that sounds wierd, but I just didn't want them to be forced to go to the potty, and sticker charts seemed a little strange. They started going when they were ready. My 13 year old was interested because he saw his father going and wanted to copy him; he was potty trained at about 2 1/2. My 11 year old daughter followed suit, wanting to copy her brother (she was the same age), and my last child wasn't interseted in the potty at all!!! To say the least, I was a little worried, but I remained patient. At about 3 years, 2 months she started pre-school where they had to be potty trained before beginning, and she still wasn't interested. I explained to the pre-school that she still used a pull-up and wasn't intersted, and they allowed her to use her pull-up. By the second week of being at the pre-school, she started using the potty on her own and has never wet the bed! Don't be in too much of a hurry to make her go to the potty. She'll do it when she's ready, and you don't want it to be a negative experience for her. Also, I would wait until her language develops more.

Good luck!

P.s. I'm the mother of three - working 30 hours a week.

There is no rule about the right age to potty train...you need to figure out what works best for you and your daughter. 19 months seems very young to me to worry about it! I have four kids, and all four of them were potty trained pretty early. (by 2 1/2) Mine usually started showing signs around the age of 2 that they were ready. Don't rush it!

NO WAY!! You couldn't pay me enough to do both of those HUGE transitions at once! She will feel like you are flipping her whole world upside down! I would go for the bottle first since 19 months is REALLY NOT that old too still be in diapers. Whoever is telling you that is crazy! While I realize that boys take longer than girls to potty train, my son didn't get fully potty trained til he was 3! I think I would wait til she turns 2 AT LEAST unless of course she seems into it and WANTS to potty train sooner! And I don't think it's right that your day care lady took away the afternoon bottle without your permission but if you are ready to wean her of the bottle all together go for it! With my son I just took it away all together one day and put the bottles away where he couldn't see them and he never minded using the cup. I think having it sometimes might just remind her that she wants it all the time. That being said, every kid is different and you are her mommy so go with your gut. Good luck! S.

Weaning from the bottle should come before the potty training. I wouldn't suggest doing them both at the same time.

As long as she isn't going to sleep with a bottle that still has milk and/or formula in it, she should be ok. You don't want to have her sleeping with a bottle dripping into her mouth for various reasons (damage to teeth, ear infections, the possibility of breathing in the formula leading to lung issues). But if she's finishing the bottle then drifting off ... do it when you're both ready.

Potty training should wait till SHE shows an interest in training. "Forcing" a child to potty train before they are ready isn't good for their bodies or their attitudes. All 3 of my kids were around 3 1/2 before they were ready and when I waited till THEY were ready ... we were done with diapers in less than a week.

Most information you find will tell you a good portion of children's bodies aren't physically able to "hold it" till around the age of three. And I've found that to be pretty accurate. But every child is different so follow her leads and you'll be fine.

Personally I think 19 months is too early to potty train. My daughter is 2 1/2 and still isn't showing signs of interest in it. But every child is different. Just don't push her too hard. I've seen several children pushed into potty training who still have accidents now in elementary school. If she is ready I'm really happy for you. Who wants to keep buying diapers.

My other suggestion is not to wean from the bottle and try to potty train at the same time. Pick one to start let her get use to it and then adjust. I would probably wean from the bottle first and then potty train. But only do it when both you and your daughter are ready.

Good luck

I would really try to get your daughter off the bottle and using a sippy or "big girl" cup. It is recommended to wean them to a cup at about 12 months. I weaned my sons "on schedule" and allowed my daughter to go MUCH longer. From experience, the longer you wait on weaning from the bottle, the harder it is. Also, since she is taking a bottle right before bed, it would be better if it was from a cup so she cannot fall asleep with the bottle in her mouth and you can avoid baby bottle tooth decay.

For potty training, she is not too young for encouraging interest, but I would wait and let her take the lead. You are correct, it is better if it is good experience for her and if you try to force the issue, it can be SO much harder. Talk with her about the potty and read books about it. Our family loved Alona Frankel's Once Upon a Potty, which has a boys and girls version and explains why babies use diapers and big kids/parents use the potty. If she likes watching videos/DVDs, get some about the potty with her favorite cartoon characters. My daughter liked Bear in the Big Blue House. Also, let her watch you using the potty. After getting her interested, show her what big girl panties look like and have her help pick out a stool and potty seat that goes on the toilet. Before you know it she will be telling when she is going pee pee and then attempting to tell you before she goes. Potty training is really a matter of raising their awareness and then encouraging their actions.

Good luck!

Hello S.,

I think your daughter can be weaned off the bottle, but if it's a fight, wait three or four months and try again.

About potty training, I would say forget it at this age. My experience (15 years as a babysitter, plus my own son), is that children don't potty train until they are talking in complete sentences. Even then I saw a number of little girls in my son's nursery school who were talking in complete sentences at 18 months, and their mothers said they were toilet trained. Well, they were in September, but by June, all four of them were over two and back in diapers! When she's ready to toilet train (I would start about 2 1/2 for a few days at a time), she will do it in a few days. If you've been trying for a week and she's still having three accidents a day, she's not ready...

Take care,

E.

I would wait to potty train until she is showing interest. With my daughter she was almost 2 and I knew she was ready. Sometimes she would tell me she had to go and she was interested in sitting on the potty. She was potty trained in a week (except at nap and night time)and was 23 months. My older son was not ready until he was almost 3. The way I trained my daughter was on day 1 every 15 minutes I took her potty, then on day 2 every 20 minutes I took her potty and then on day 3 through 7 I took her every thirty minutes and after day 7 she was telling me she had to go. Like I said she was ready. You have to be consistent though, so I don't think it would be a good idea to start on a weekend that you have to run tons of errands, pick a weekend when you will be home all weekend.

As for the bottle my oldest was on his until he was two and a half but my younger 2 were off the bottle by their first birthday. I started giving the afternoon bottle with lunch and offering the cup during the day with snack time then after a week or two I took the bottles away all together.

I do suggest if you are going to do it either do it several months before the new baby is due (whenever you are ready) or wait until a few months after. You don't want her to associate "losing" these things with the new baby.

You will know when it is time to potty train. She will show interest and when the timing is right it should only take about a week if not less. 19 months is really young. About 2 1/2 is normal but definently not abnormal to be 3 and potty training. Studies have shown that if you potty train when the baby is not ready then you will have more accidents as older children and bedwetting.

As for the bottle, 2-3 times a day is no big deal!!! Don't let her keep all that milk in her mouth when sleeping but don't I wouldn't worry about it. Remember, since you are the mommy you get to decide if your daughter should have a bottle at nap time. If you feel she is better rested then ask your babysitter to start giving the bottle back to her at nap time. Having a well rested child is REALLY important to their brain development and behavior so stick with you guns and they should follow your wishes. I watch a little girl and I do as her parents ask. I do not agree with everything they choose but they are the parents and as long as it is not hurting her then I feel I should follow their wishes not mine.

Good Luck!

I weaned my daughter from the breast and potty trained her at the same time. She was off one and onto the other ;-) by 20 months. It can be done!
Good luck.
K. in EC

From experience, get her off of the bottle completely as soon as possible, it gets harder as they get older and waaaayyyy more dramatic. Very few kids are ready to potty train at 19 mos. if she cant say potty or what she needs to do, she isnt ready. usually by 2, maybe wait a few months on that.

May I just say..every baby develops differently at different times. Just pay attention to how she is and you can tell when shes ready. Do whats right for her and you. If it helps your child sleep after having a bottle for her nap,(has she tried giving her a sippy cup with milk in it? also maybe try sippy cups that have the same texture as the bottle nipples--maybe that way she can still have it in a way but it slowly takes it away) tell the daycare thats what you want-plus being away from you while your at work and then not having the bottle as well sounds stressful for her (but i dont know her)
Plus everyone will have their ideas and opinions but it doesnt mean that its right for you.
My daughter is 19 months now and we have being introducing the potty--but i dont push it. My thought on the bottle is choose your battles. Letting her have her bottle isn't going to ruin some part of her life. If shes happy, let her be happy--Introduce the cup and eventually she should decide to do something all together. My daughter uses sippy cups and has been for quite some time, after i weaned her from nursing she uses a bottle once in awhile--i think it reminds her of the comfort from nursing..
Just keep in mind that you need to do whats right for your family--every child is different, and people can give you ideas to help your decision but what worked for them may not work for you.
GOOD LUCK

Personally I would work on transitioning her off the bottle first. As someone else said I would replace the bottle with a sippy cup. I was dreading getting my twins off the bottle (they were about 18 months), but it went much easier than I thought it would. I think it was harder on me then them.

She seems a bit young for potty training. I know some people do it early and really believe in it, but honestly I think if you start that early you will be doing it for a LONG time. I think you should wait until she is ready and showing signs. It will go much quicker that way. I would wait until she is at least 2. Don't worry about what others are saying. All kids are different!!