Am I Overstepping My Boundaries?

Mom, I would have asked the little girl her name and told her that she needed to go in to the office with you and the other child too who were playing near the street. Then I would have explained to the principal what just happened and told her the girls rude response. Next I would have left to to have the principal to handle it. I find it very sad that the school or PTA at the school can't get a parent to volunteer to to this job in some type of rotation. I would tell the principal that she needs to address this at the next mtg or even get teachers to do the job on a weekly rotation. Hope this helps.

I would report it to the school staff after you get the kids' names. Let them handle the attitude problem she gave you and the horsing around.

I don't think you would have been 'responsible' had there been an accident but I think you did the right thing.
I find it odd that there is not a faculty/staff member out there keeping an eye on the 'walkers' until the doors open.
As for the "attitude" -- ignore it--she's, what, 9? LOL

No, you are not overstepping boundaries. I would have said something too. I also would let somebody in the office know what is going on. Maybe they can send a note to parents who drop off/walk their kids and remind them there is no supervision (since it is not your job) and there have been issues with their children entering the busy road. Leave in it in the hands of the school.

E.,

I don’t believe you have over stepped. I would have taken it a step or two further. I would have gotten a teacher involved and if possible got the names of the parents of the children, especially the one who gave you attitude and mouthed off and contacted them

Blessings.

Talk to the principal and tell her what has been going on out there. Tell her you attempted to correct a dangerous situation and that the children were disrespectful. And then say that you do not plan to do anything but oversee your own children in the future. It will then be up to them to rectify the situation. I would stand away from these other kids with my back towards them with my own children only. You are not responsible for the other kids. And no good deed will go unpunished in our modern society so you are better off minding your own business unfortunately.

I don't think you are overstepping your boundaries at all. I live by the saying It takes a village to raise a child. And guess what, I'm a villager! :)

You would not be responsible if something happened to the kids if you didn't say something but could you live with yourself knowing you could have said something?

I would tell the school if I were you. Let them know you stand outside with your child since there is no adult supervision and you have seen a couple children go into the road and had to say something to the kids. Unfortunately, it might take a child getting injured before they change their policy but at least you can feel good knowing you tried to prevent anything from happening.

I do not think you were outside of your boundaries by alerting the kids to their unsafe behavior. Perhaps yelling at them to stop was not the best approach, but it is visceral - and you needed to get their attention fast. As for the snotty girl, "whatever..." I would alert somebody in the school who has disciplinary powers about these two kids. Let them know what is going on and pass the ball. Maybe the school will enact a boundary policy - maybe not. After that, just watch them. If they don't behave, continue to alert the school and ask them what they plan on doing about it. Ask the school about their liability if the children get hurt. Hinting about possible lawsuits and/or legal actions can oftentimes get things done. Just know - the squeaky wheel gets the grease. OR you could let fate run its course...

I doubt you would have been responsible legallly as you have no formal relationship to provide them care or vouch for their safety. But, snotty little kids are snotty little kids. I would have mortified my children by launching into a full speech for this little girl on respect and acceptable words to use when speaking to an adult, and then gotten the name and phone number of her mother/father for a little chat - LOL!
I do not think you overstepped your boundaries.

I don't think you would have been legally responsible. But if it had been me, I would have overstepped any boundaries to make sure those children were safe, and snottiness be hanged! The little girl needs lessons in how to speak to adults as well as where not to play.

If the school cannot hire people to be crossing guards, are there a handful of parents who would take the job by turns until the school can do the job again?

No, you didn't. Imagine how you would've felt if you did nothing and they did get hit.

As a side note, is there a lobby or something where the walkers can wait inside before they are allowed to go to class? Do they make the kids stay outside even in bad weather? At my daughter's school, the non-bus kids wait in the lobby with a secretary and an aide or two to keep peace until it's time to go to class.

Our school has the kids wait in the lobby now but when I was little we played outside where our recess was held until the bell rang. In high school we had to wait outside of the school until they unlocked the doors for a long time they eventually changed it to the cafeteria until the bell rang. I would have corrected the kids too. I have corrected a few kids at my son's bus stop because they were running around on the side walk and going out in the street. Our street isn't very busy but we do have an oil company on it so there are some big trucks that go up and down the street imagine what would happen if it was cold out and a car couldn't stop because of ice. I asked our bus driver to go review with the kids safety at the bus stop perhaps you could speak to someone in your school's office and they could review some basic safety with these kids.

You are so in the right on this one. So what if the child got an attitude - you where the only adult there and my gosh you can't, being a caring adult, let that danger go unnoticed.

Have you talked to the school administration about the fact that kids are running wild outside while all the teachers are in the building? I would think that at least one teacher could be outside to watch over these children - I mean this is Elementary school - so you have what, 5 and 6 year olds outside, unsupervised. Maybe the school could allow walkers (and I assume this includes the car riders?) to be dropped off at the gym and "corralled" in there until 8:25. You really need to talk to the principal and explain what you have seen in the morning and potential danger of these children being outside alone. Put it in writing to the school board also. Budget cuts should endanger our children - our schools are going through the same things this year.

You are doing the right thing!!! And no, I can't imagine that you would be held responsible if something did happen. But, you know, you can't just stand there and watch kids endanger themselves - you would not have spoken up if you could.

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I think the kids need to be moved along the building BY THE SCHOOL personnel. Report this to the principal - that the kids are unsupervised and playing in the road. Most schools have a "hands to yourself" rule too. It's inconceivable to me that some kids are allowed in, and others are not.

Try not to yell at kids - it's doesn't work. There's also a horrendous attitude of entitlement and defiance among kids now - a friend of mine is an experienced kindergarten teacher and she's blown away by kids who don't feel they need to sit down when directed, or who don't feel that any rules apply to them. You can't fix this with the other kids.

You wouldn't be legally responsible but you would feel terrible if you didn't do something. The school needs to provide supervision, or the parent group needs to organize shifts of volunteers, or the school needs to require that parents stay with their children, or something. The situation is unacceptable and the school is open to a huge liability issue.

no u didnt over step your boundaries.... if they would of gotten hit while you were with you daughther you probably would of been held accountable for not telling them to stop.

I think you did the right thing. She responded that way because she was called out on her behavior in front of a crowd. She will get over it a lot quicker than being hit by a car!

I would go into the office or at least contact the school. Express your concern about the lack of supervision while the kids are waiting to get into the school...kids are just outside and not only is that scary in the day and age but it is physically dangerous because of the proximity to the road way.

I don't think you would be legally responsible- but if the other kids' parents weren't around, I would definitely speak up! And- if you know who they are, I would let their moms know about the horseplay.

Not in an accusing way- but just 'I wouldn't have said anything, but they were in the road and just really not paying attention. I was the only adult around and I wasn't sure what to do, but I thought you would want to know." Most moms can't take exception to that, as long as you aren't criticizing them.

In the bigger picture- you CAN'T be the only mom frustrated by this. I would get together with other moms at the school and contact the DISTRICT. If you take it to that level, they will take you more seriously. If you are in a group, they will take you more seriously. Ask specifically for the issue of :

1)Lack of crossing guard
and
2)Why walkers must wait outside alone unattended, while bussed kids are allowed indoors earlier?

to be put onto the agenda of the next board meeting. Then ALL of you show up and get as many people to speak as possible. Your tax dollars are paying for the school- you ought to get a say in how they are spent!

if they can't afford crossing guards, that is one thing. But it is absolutely unacceptable for one group of students to be allowed into the building early to wait in the warmth, and for another group of students to be kept outside shivering with no supervision.

I would put it to the school board EXACTLY like that and ask them why bussed students are receiving preferential treatment over walkers. That's what it is, no matter how they try and spin it.

Just for perspective, our school is almost all walkers- but the elemetary is attached to the middle school, so there is a LOT of bus traffic.

Even with 5th grade crossing guards and two streets blocked off and lots of moms around, there is a teacher each morning at BOTH intersections where the doors are AND our principal is standing outside in front of the main door EVERY morning, rain or shine to greet kids and parents and hustle them in the doors. We are not a particularly 'rich' school and its obvious that the staff is doing this instead of being inside doing other things. So it CAN be done, and your school ought to be doing it too!
Good luck!

Many years ago, it was the neighbors' boys (we were in high school at the time, one neighbor lady thought it was me that was hit) that were horsing around as they walked the long drive to the school -- one of the boys slipped just as the bus came by ... don't think I need to say what happened ... (the school was very quiet that day and it was a very largely attended funeral). So, yes, you did what your instinct told you - and hopefully you'll get them to see this problem with these younger and unattended kids! Nobody wants to deal with the outcome that happened here!

1. You and the other parents need to go to the school board/PTO concerning no crossing guards. If they can't afford to pay someone then ask for volunteers and go through the same routine of "hiring" as paid employees (i.e. background checks, etc).

2. My triplets' school have a rule. ALL children (grades K-5) must be attended by an adult as they wait to get inside the building, which includes bikers, car riders and walkers. Bus riders are brought immediately inside to a waiting teacher who is in charge of them.

3. Although the waiting parents aren't officially in charge of other children, I guarantee if something happens to an unattended child YOU will be the one that the finger will be pointed at by the parents and possibly the authorities because there were parents standing around and did nothing. I have this same problem at my triplets bus stop. Kids running around like complete maniacs. It's frustrating that we have to be the babysitters, especially when the lazy parents know we will do this because WE are the responsible ones, but when you see children taking long sticks and trying to knock down bees nests, I have to step in! When you see children putting each other in head locks, I have to step in! These kids have found very quickly not to mess with us. I suggest you attend to those children, if only for their safety. And for the snotty little brat? Follow her in and hand her off or point her out to a teacher or principal and let them know what the little brat was doing and ask that they notify the parents immediately. Let the teachers and principal know on a daily basis on what is going on outside and keep suggesting volunteers wearing vests to help out. Contact the PTO as well. Involve the other parents to get involved with keep the children in line. I know I'm known as the bus stop witch and I don't care! The children WILL behave or else. Just because they have poor parenting doesn't mean you have to pay the price when someone gets hurts because you're just standing by doing nothing. My thing is, I don't want to read a headline in the newspaper stating, "Child killed, adults did nothing".

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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You did great. If you knew the child's name, I would have said. "Samantha You need to come stand next to me." And when she got next to you tell her, "I know your mom would not be pleased by your behavior.". If she continued or talked back, I would have either told the child I will call your mom so she can remind you of her expectations , and then called her mother..

Of course I was PTA President at 2 different schools and really did know most parents..

I once called a mom and had a conversation with her, because the school had called her to speak about her sons behavior after school and she "did not believe them". She told me "he was a very good boy and had never behaved the way the school was reporting".. I told her not only had I witnessed his behavior, but that he was actually notorious for being a goof ball in a very dangerous way..

He actually laid down in the street in the crosswalk. I witnessed it along with all of the traffic in 4 directions.. I also had seen him on multiple times push other kids into the street with oncoming traffic at 45 mph.. AND I had seen him attempt to crawl on to the roof of the school one time, till we all told him to get down..

Sometimes we have to stick our noses out there and take the chance others will not react well or will think we are "busy bodies" Or "Bossy", but I DID NOT want the school to get sued because this idiot kid and idiot parent who would claim "no one had told her about her sons behavior"..

Oh my gosh! I, for one, am so grateful that you stopped those children!

The boys' dad was walking across the street and got hit by a van. He is in such rough shape. What this accident did to our whole family is beyond words, and it isn't getting any better.

The thought of those kids falling into the street...let me talk to them!

And the disrespect, that is unacceptable. I work with children and just last week got a rude reply. I told the girl "I don't allow people to treat me with disrespect." It seemed to have had a good effect.

Thank you for what you do!!!

When kids play they don't pay attention. You did the right thing in telling them to stop. The comment from the little girl was disrespectful. I would let the mother of both children know that their kids are at risk for getting hurt or even killed and you were the adult present when they were on the road. I would also tell the girls mother the daughter's response. Hopefully the mom will appreciate the input. If not, tell the principal that there are some kids -no names-who are risk for injury. The school needs to address this as they need to assure that parents are being responsible for their children.

Have you read the posts and answers against corporal punishment? Here is an example of the result.

Tell the school "authorities" and let them handle it. They will say nice words to you and nothing will happen until some kid gets hit by a car or almost hit by a car. The schools spend more on busing than books.

Do schools need more money? No. They need to spend their money more wisely. If you look at some school budgets, they spend more money on non teachers than they do on teachers. Schools spend money on court ordered nonsense than they do on education. But we are stuck with a lot of the spending that doesn't do anything for the education of our kids because of the way we vote. I'd tell you which party is the welfare party, but anyone with an old fashioned 6th grade education already knows, but too many people voted for them anyway.

Good luck to you and yours.

You were most definately in the right to say something. Now you shouldn't have to ever say anything again b/c if I were you I would let school admin. know the situation while waiting outside and they should take care of it! Whether they let the caregivers of the children in question know or they station a teacher outside to watch the kids w/o parents or they decide to open the gym or cafeteria for waiting kids. Whatever, it shouldn't be your responsibilty every morning, but if you continue to be the only adult present then it will be your responsibilty! If I am the only adult (at the park, on a playdate, arcade) and kids are in danger, I always step up.

Talk to the principal. Explain the situation and tell him/her that the rules need to change for the safety of the children. The children can't be standing outside next to the street without supervision. They need to be let into the school upon arrival. You were right to yell at the kids, now you need to take it further and change some policy. Just imagine if someone gets hit by a car!
I know its been brought up before, but it needs to be brought up again. LOUDLY! You need to push this, you can't just let stupid, unsafe policy stand. If you need to talk to some other parents and get a group together to express this to the principal/school board. There is no reason the school personnel can take charge of bus students but not walkers.