Am I Overreacting to a Dentist Office Problem?

M.,

I am a mom of three boys and NEVER have I not been with them while they see the dentist. I sit right beside them the whole time. My youngest is 4 and I still sit with him. I wouldn't take my kids to any dentist who said I couldn't be with my kids.
It's not like they kicked me out of the room when I was supposed to deliver them right? :)
I would call medicade and talk with them see if there was another way to find a dentist with a more family friendly enviroment.

Good Luck keep us posted

Unfortunately this is how most dentist offices work. I have a little boy who's first dentist visit was at 2 for a dead tooth, and they needed to work on him without me present. I was definitely confident that the dentist and his staff would take care of him although I felt exactly the way you did. I hate not knowing everything that happens with my boy.

L.

My daughter has been to a pediatric dentist twice now, and we are allowed to accompany her the entire time. I think it is weird that your dentist won't let you back there! It seems like your child might fear the dentist more if they are taken away from their parents. I hope you can find someone else to take your medicaid!

That is hilarious, You can have a foot ball stadium of people when you deliver a baby, but you cant go with your child into the dentist room?
That Dr. Is on Crack.
I say find another Dr.
Your kids may be just fine in there alone, , but I never left my son, I knew that I would step out if he was being baby-ish because I was there, but you can pretty much tell and make your decision then, but every single Dentist I have EVER been too, and its been alot as my jobs change and insurance company change, they actually have chairs or benches set up for the parents to sit at the foot of the dental chair. So I disagree with your docotrs statement that "This is the way most Dentist's do things". I'd call him on that one. (Maybe because I've never EVER seen this" and I'd tell him that I am paying him to do dental work on my kids, I am NOT paying his wage to Teach My Son Anything.

Yes, I'd probably raise such a stink about it just as I'm being kicked out. But the dentist is scarry, I hate the dentist and I'm 36 years old. So why should I abandon my child with some stranger who is going to do who knows what. I feel the child deserves mom or dad to be by there side while going through things like this in life, its called moral support.
Good lord, Who is this dentist anyway and where is he located? I'll write him a letter!
(lol, not really, but I feel the same way as you)

Good luck finding a KID Friendly dentist. I'd almost pay full price out of pocket to have a good one.
Check into Medicare and see if they pay anything for Out of network providers. Sometimes the price difference isnt that much, when I changed insurance, the Dentist I love didnt take my new insurance, but my insurance company paid a certain amount to out of network providers and I think the price difference was like 3 dollars.

GL. And let us know what you do.

No you are not overreacting---I think the dentist is fostering even more bad feelings by refusing to allow you back there.

At our dentist, the area is very open and I stay in the waiting area to respect their space and let them get their work done. There have been times I can hear my youngest misbehaving and once I went back to reinforce what they were telling him. Another time my oldest was having sealants put on and he was struggling and crying---I went back there to hold his hand (also to hold his hands out of their way) and comfort him during the process. Other than that, they ask the parents to come back when the hygienist is finished and the dentist is examining the teeth and answers any questions.

I work in a medical office and having people in our back treatment area is cumbersome when we are busy. However, I NEVER say that people aren't welcome back there. I feel we are just setting ourselves up for a complaint by the client if they insist on being in the back and we won't let them. By refusing, I feel that it may be fueling fears from a previous situation when really there is nothing to hide. When people are allowed in back though, I will say some people forget to respect the privacy of others and will make comments/ask questions---not cool as we obviously need to maintain that standard.

One place that I heard accepts Medicaid is Small Smiles---I don't know if there is one in Ft. Collins---but the reason I know this is because of an expose on Good Morning America about 6 months back. I saw methods used to restrain kids and was appalled---you may be able to go to abc.com and then to Good Morning America to see the video of the story. Maybe there is one in your area and their methods have changed for the better but I would tour the office and ask lots of questions.

Best Wishes.

I know our pediatric dentist let me come back the first visit but then on the 2nd I was asked to stay behind in the waiting room. I am not sure if I would have been allowed if I had asked. With the 7 year old, can you find a regular (non-pediatric dentist) that will work with your insurance? I know that doesn't help with the youngest, where you likely have the most concernt. I'd call back and find out if you can go with your child since this is his first visit (and yours) so you can feel more comfortable in the future.

Good luck
L.

The news (9news I believe) actually did a story this past year regarding the "no parents" rule at many child dental offices. I would not be comfortable with that either.
As the child of a dentist with his own small family practice, I would even recommend taking your child to a family practice rather than one specializing in children unless your child needs some serious dental work. I realize all of the equipment is tailored to be child size, but having your child grow up unafraid of the dentist and having you there to support them will be more beneficial, especially if they are mostly just in need of checkups, sealants, etc.
In my opinion, many of the large practices, even for adults, have terrible policies and bedside manners and I have finally found myself a small dental practice in the area that I happy with until I can get back closer to my father.
Good luck!

I am so glad to see your posting, because I had a similar experience last year when I took my oldest in for his first check up - I was very surprised that they wouldn't allow me to go back with my son. Although I didn't like it, I didn't protest, as the exam room was very open with many exam chairs, so my son would not be alone with anyone. I was told that this is office policy, and the way pediatric dentistry is done, but after reading these posts, I see now that this is not something I have to accept.

The thing that REALLY bugged me though was the flyer they made me sign agreeing to their office policies and procedures. One of these was the practice of placing a hand over the child's mouth until they stop screaming, and replacing the hand should the child start screaming again. I could not believe this - how barbaric! I asked my pediatrician if this seemed reasonable,and she said it seemed "excessive." It is for this reason that I have not retured to this office (but I haven't made any progress on finding a new dentist, and now I have another child who is ready for a dentist appointment.) I like the idea soemone suggested of skipping the pediatric dentists altogether, and just going to the regular family owned dentist.

When I was a young child I was always drugged with laughing gas, and somehow, despite any memory of trauma, as an older child I was VERY fearful of the dentist. I took me years and a very kind dentist to overcome the fear. Is there any good way to get dental care for our kids??

WOW, I believe the dentist is insane!! We just had our family dentist visits yesterday in Monument and they scheduled it so that I could sit in the chair WITH my 4 year old. I think the dentist you saw is insane. I am sorry that you must deal with this, I would NOT allow my child to be seen without my presence (especially on a first visit).

Let me say your dentist should have listened and respected your wishes as a parent.
I go to a great Pediatric dentis in Lafayette and they encourage the same thing, not going back with the kids. A lot of Pediatric dentists do this as kids get over dramatic, fussy and not paying attention if their parents are present. I know both of mine seem to listen a lot better and enjoy the experience more without me there.

The first time they should have let you go. I can say until I had my comfort zone I went back with my daughter and never had to with my son as they went together. They were within my view through a door always however they did a LOT better without me there. Both have been going since they were 18 mos old and only the first few visits did I go with them. Now my kids cannot get to the dentist fast enough, sit for xrays and all that! So there is a reason for your dentist to request you not go back and it is a valid one.
That said, he sounded like he was being unreasonable and not very understanding your first visit either!! HUGS!

I would certainly follow up and check whether this is legal. We moved from to COS from San Antonio and I miss our pediatrician dentist there. They were all for having the parents in the back with the children. Kids naturally get scared. I wouldn't go back with him.

Stick to your guns...i have had dentists try to enforce this policy, but i would never send my child off alone with a strange adult..dentist or not.

My husband is a dentist, and when it comes to kids, the parents lead the way. If a child is at all uneasy or scared, my husband doesn't do anything without the parents help. There is nothing worse than traumatizing a child for life over the dentist because of some "office policy."

I had this problem with my son's first dental appointment. He got scared and the only thing he let the dentist do was count his teeth. As we walked out the assistant said next time I wouldn't be allowed back because she felt I pushed the anxiety on him (even though I tried to make the dentist sound like a great place). The next time we went, she told my son that Mommy was going to stay in the waiting room, he looked at me and said, "Mommy please come." And I did. I didn't care what they said, I went with him and nobody said anything more about it. There is no way I would let my child go back without me, especially if they wanted me with them. I say find another dentist - I can understand if they'd request it, but to flat out refuse to let you go with him is totally out of line. (As for me, if it comes up again, you can bet this time I'll be saying something. I really like our dentist, but I don't think all of his assistants are that nice.)

No I don't think you are, the Today show did a special on them, they work only w/ medi-cade patients, I had my husbands insurance and then medi-cade as a suppliment, and had considered them, after the special there was no way I was goint to take my kids, the use a papoose for kids who won't sit still, how barbaric, I would beg on the street before I would take my kids there, I work really hard so my kids don't grow up like me, terrified of the dentist, I actually get sick to my stomach when it is time to take my kids, go to another town if you have to, keep looking, someone will take you and the kids. I tried finding the article but am having no luck, if I can I'll send it your way.

If he said to get a different dentist, do. You have the right, as their parents, to be there if you think you need to be. Talk to medicaid, find a dentist that is family friendly, and move on from the one who said no.

Terrible service! Find someone else. Our kids dental office is very family friendly. I sit or stand near all my children - 5, 3 and 2 when they are having their teeth cleaned, xrays or cavities being fixed. It calms the children when I am there holding their hand. The dental visit can be scary to most kids.
It doesn't sound right at all. Go with your instinct.

L.

Hi I 'm also having the same problem. I have 3 children and curently have no dentist for them because no one will let me in the room with them. I think this is wrong on so many levels-what are they doing to children behind closed doors that their own parents can't be there?? I'm currently working with my state legislature to try and fix this....Each dentist can have this office "rule" for parents to wait in the waiting room but I feel that if we can raise this issue and speak up and make it known that us parents are not happy ....than maybe the dentist will give the parents the choice to stay in the exam room or wait in the waiting area...I strongly believe that it should be up to the parent to make that choice! we are the advocates for our children if we don't protect our children who will?

That does seem strange. Our dentist always lets us go back with our children. Too bad you don't live in SLC. I would totally recommend my dentist to you. If anyone else out there does live in SLC area and is looking for an excellent dentist, look up DDS Richard Nydeggar (sp?). He is a great guy, and has always allowed us back to be with our kids. He even allows our children back while we are being treated, or the receptionist will keep an eye on them while the watch a show in the lobby. Anyway, I do think they should at least allow you to go with the 3 yr old. The 7 yr old could probably handle it on his own...maybe they should let the child decide. I think some kids would do better with their parents beside them, and some might do better without their parents. Good luck finding a dentist who accepts Medicaid. Maybe there is one in a near-by town. I really don't know Ft. Collins, but I drive about 20 min to get to my dentist even though there are a lot of others much closer. You may just have to shop around. good luck.

What a bind...I'm glad to hear you are contacting Medicaid to find another dentist. I've always gone in with my children and I've never run into a dentist who had a problem with it or expected anything else...of course I've never asked or talked to any of the dentists about it so if they would rather me not go in, I've never given them the chance to say so! I can imagine the reasons why they do this, but we don't pay them to save them trouble, they are paid to serve the needs of their customers...that's what I think, anyway!

I agree. That's not overreacting. I would have done the same thing you did. I can understand them not wanting parents to accentuate a child's fear of the dentist but really they should allow you to sit somewhere you can see and hear your child AT LEAST.