Almost 6 Yr Old Bed Wetting

Updated on November 08, 2011
A.Z. asks from Brigham City, UT
16 answers

My son is almost 6 and I'm 7 months pregnant my goal was to get him ot of pull ups b4 the baby is born. me and my husband always said once u go a week without wetting in ur pull up u don't have to wear them anymore well we took him off many times and as son as he didn't have one he would wet the bed. last week I had had enough and said no more! Took them away completely! So anyways my weston is he has never been one to wake up to go and he has a hard time holding all night. So since I'm up a million times a night to pee is it bad to wake him up one during the night to go? I figure I'm just teaching him to get used to getting up but I've had many ppl think its not such a good idea cause I'm doing the work for him.? Should I wake him or let him try and learn on his own and have to wash bedding every night?

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So What Happened?

I would never punish him for wetting his bed at night, now I understand y u all were saying punishing him by taking his pull ups away, we were doing so well he was waking up like a champ when I would go in there, and one night he got up all by him self! I was so proud of him. I asked him evey night '' do u want mom to wake u up, or do u want to try and wake up by ur self?'' and he would always say I want u to wake me up mom but I will try to wake up on my own. Well sun night I was going to wake him up but I just kept putting it off cause it was earlier than normal and I wanted him to b able to feel like he needed to go, then finally I hear my little guy just crying! It broke my heart I got up and comforted him a while changed his sheets and put him back to sleep. Then last night he didn't go pee b4 so I decided to try at around 12:30 (usually its around 3) and he wouldn't wake so I decided o well I don't want to force him so I went back to bed and around 3 i hear him get up but he is not crying and I thought YES! He did it again! But he never came in to tell me and he always does so I get up and he is sitting up in bed and when he sees me he stats crying. I asked him what was wrong and he tels me, so I tell him its ok I'm not mad let's just get u cleaned up. I get him up and he had gotten up took off his drawers and climbed back into bed. So I asked him honey y didn't u come get me? So he told me while crying I was scared to come tell u! Seriously the saddest thing ever! So I sat him down and told him once again I knew it wasn't his fault and I wasn't mad at him. I had to actually tell him a hand full of times b4 I think he understood til he stopped crying. Hugged him a whole lot and told him if he wanted to go back to pull ups he can and that is just fine. He wants to talk about that tomorrow. I just feel terrible! My intentions were to not scar my angel forever. I thought I was just helping. Well now I know.

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K.S.

answers from Denver on

if you can afford a bedwetting alarm, try that. We did it for my daughter after trying everything else. It worked like a charm.

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J.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

It's not his fault. Take him to a chiropractor. My son wet his bed until he was 13. After 2 visits, he never wet the bed again. Take him now! Don't wait til he misses sleep overs, camp outs, etc...

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D.S.

answers from New York on

Trust me this is NOT something he can control. My son did it for years. I tried everything, no drinks before bed, wake him up and take him during the night, a prescribed nasal spray, nothing worked, he just had to grow out of it. They didn't have pull ups then so I had a huge amount of laundry everyday. Trust me I would have welcomed pull-ups then, verses tons of laundry everyday!! Let him be, and do not stress him over this, he CAN"T control it.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Yes, it is bad to wake him to go to the bathroom. He can't make himself wake up to go, it's a developmental issue not a desire issue.

If you have that much time to wash sheets and bedding and spend all that extra money on utilities and detergent wouldn't it just be easier to let his use the pull ups until his body is ready? He is NOT ready to be dry. Even if you wake him up a dozen times per night his bladder will STILL continue to make urine all night and it will just flow out. He does not have the ability to stay dry until his brain tells his kidneys to stop producing urine and to signal him to wake up and go if his bladder still gets full.

Some kids are dry at 18 months and some are still having nightly accidents at 12. It is a chemical in the body that tells the body to do something. It is not anything you can make him do.

It is less work and less money to use pull ups instead of spending all that time on extra laundry.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

My son was 7 1/2 before he woke up dry 2 weeks in a row and was ready to be done with pull-ups.
Some kids have trouble with it till they are 11 or 12.
It tends to run in family s - ask your husband or his parents how old he was before he didn't wet the bed anymore.
Having another baby on the way has nothing to do with how your son's bladder/kidneys mature and it won't make them mature any faster by waking him up or having him wash his own bedding.
He's sleeping, unconscious, and he's not doing it deliberately just to tick you off.
How much do you learn while you are fast asleep?
He won't be leaving for college and still be wetting the bed.
It's less stressful just to continue with the pull-ups till he's finished with them at his own pace.

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P.B.

answers from Spartanburg on

My son is the same. He's almost 5 and 1/2 and definitely cannot hold his pee at night. He is a deep sleeper and won't wake up by himself, i chose to let him sleep because he needs it and the doctor clearly told me that his bladder is not ready. Other mamas seem to be so proud of their children being trained very early but don't let that put pressure on you. Every child is different. Gosh, my ex father in law (so my son's grandpa) was the same way and still has a note from his mother in a photo album saying:"I hope Tim gets rid of the night diaper, he's starting first grade in a month". So there's also some genes working against him. Do not stress over it: have you ever seen a first grader wearing a diaper anyways? Congratulations on baby no.2 (maybe he/she'll work differently, you never know!)

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter has wet the bed less and less frequently the older she gets. At 9, she has wet twice in nine months. So, we're almost over this stage.

There is nothing you or he can do to help this. His body will grow out of this, but some kids wet until age 12. When he will develop the ability to sleep dry has nothing to do with your "goals". His body needs to develop to the point that he can stay dry at night.

Do not punish him for wetting the bed! He can't help it. And do not wake him up at night. You'll just have a more tired kid. My daughter wet the most often when she slept the hardest after a tiring day.

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M.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

First, if you haven't already, buy a mattress protector and have sheets ready at night. Continue to let him use a pull up until his bladder is ready. Let him know that it is entirely not his fault and that he will grow out of it when his body says it can hold it. My daughter stopped at around 7. Believe it or not, they sell alarms for them to wear to alert them at night. Google it. If you want to wake him, I don't see a problem with that at all. You are not enabling him ~ golly, he's still a baby in my eyes. I know how it is when a baby is coming, but don't give yourself any extra stress over this. You'll see that it will all work out.

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C.P.

answers from Columbia on

I knew before I read your question that you were talking about a boy.

This is NOT uncommon and it's not something he can control. My oldest wet the bed about once every 1-2 weeks until he was 8. I talked to the pediatrician about it and found out that it is not anything he can help...his body is still developing. The "signal" from bladder to brain while sleeping is still becoming established.

There are bedwetting alarms out there that will wake him up right when he starts to urinate, which will train him to recognize the signal before it happens. This will speed up the process a bit. You can find them by Googling "bed wetting alarm." You'll want the kind with a sensor that goes in HIS underwear, not the kind that comes with a special mattress pad or special underwear.

We just rode it out. Limiting liquids and emptying the bladder prior to bedtime, putting a rubber sheet on the bed along with a sheet protector, having extra sheets and underwear ready, and being patient and understanding was all it took. He just grew out of it.

He's not doing this to piss you off. Trust me, that's the last thing he wants to do. And I guarantee that he's not doing it because he's lazy. Be patient, hang on to those pull ups, and you'll both get through this. He's still growing.

And no, it isn't bad to wake him up to pee...but I'd suggest that you try to get an idea of the time that he usually wets the bed, and get him a half hour or so before that...so he has a full bladder and can associate the feeling of his bladder being full with the wake-up. Just a suggestion.

Best of luck!

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

Get an extra set of sheets and put on a plastic mattress cover.

My son was "night trained" at 2 1/2 totally on his own, my daughter wore pull-ups until she was almost 7. It depends on the child and when their body is ready to hold it through the night or wake up when the child has to pee. My son is a light sleeper and my daughter a very heavy one.

You can do all of the limiting of liquids past a certain time and dragging him out of bed in the middle of his sleep to see stuff, but at the end of the day it's not really something that you can teach. His body has to be ready. Don't stress yourself out. He'll get it. Take the pull ups aways when he's consistently dry for about a month or so, and even after that expect an accident every now and then.

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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

I think you are making this a chore for him.. I know it's one for you, but you are an adult.... My son also USED to wet the bed up until about age 6 1/2... However, I just went with the flow (so to speak):) I read that in fact, some people's bladders are smaller than others and no matter how many times you make a kid go to the bathroom before bed and then during, some kids may have accidents.. no biggie.. just plastic line the bed and put a lite weight cover on the top , this way you can pull it off and wash it easily.. I think kids wet the bed for different reasons. some are dead asleep and others suffer from a bit of stress (I did when little) maybe you don't realize it, but he is anxious about mom bringing another child into HIS house..
these are things to consider... I would take it easy on him.. he will learn.. believe me, as a former bedwetter , it's not something WE want to do... and feel truly embarrassed when we do it... I think your bigger concern should be how your son feels about it... by taking away the pullups completely, I do wonder if it may have caused him to think something was wrong and that you were angry... I would reconsider your approach.. but first.. try sitting down (even if you already did it) and talking with him. you may find he has a lot of his mind.. and discussing it, could help him stop some of the bedwetting..

best to you and yours

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M.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your son's physiological development is not timed to the birth of your new baby. Please don't punish him by taking away the pullups before his body is ready and making him wash his bedding every night!

There is a hormone our bodies start producing at a particular age (different for every child and usually runs in families) that decreases the amount of liquid we produce at night. Until that hormone kicks in, he won't be able to hold it. Waking him up will just disrupt his sleep cycle and cause other problems. His body needs to develop further in order for the night time bedwetting to resolve.

If you speak to a urologist they will tell you that the only issue with wearing pullups at his age is if he wants to have sleepovers with his friends. Other than that -- let him be and don't make him feel like a failure for something he has no control over.

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

you cannot teach someone to wake up and go to the bathroom.. My younger child (boy) has been dry since he was 3.. My older child (girl) is almost 6 and still wet every night.

If you want to get up and take him to the bathroom --- do that..but you will be pretty busy and tired with a new baby on the way.

If you dont wake him up and there are wet sheets in the morning.. thenb there will be laundry to do.

I prefer keeping them in pullups until they stay dry on their own.

My pediatrician said the bedwetting alarms work very well.. expect to pay 50-100 for the alarm.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

My daughter even at 7 years old, had night time accidents.
NORMAL.
My son is 5, and has pee too, still, at night, and still needs to wear night time diapers.
NORMAL.

Please.... don't pressure your son.
He is normal.

Night time dryness... is not about him being naughty... it is a PHYSIOLOGICAL development, in a child. It has to do with their body/brain/myelin nerve sheath development/bladder development. And, their body is STILL developing at this age.

Holding his bladder, will only lead to kidney problems and bladder infections.

My kids are 5 and 9. I have waterproof bed pads, that I got from Amazon, that I put under them at night. I have 4 of them. And I simply rotate them as needed. If/when it gets wet. NO biggie. If my kids have an accident at night, I do not scold. I simply put another bed pad under them, they change pajamas, and go back to sleep. With the waterproof bed pad... the sheets never gets, soiled. It is very, simple.

Why wake him up at night to go pee? It just leads to lack of sleep and/or they can't go back to sleep.

You cannot MAKE a child, be dry at night. Until their body... and bladder/nerve/brain development, is all synchronized.

Your son, has a lot to deal with. His Mommy is pregnant and a young child does not know... what this all means or how it will feel, once he is no longer, the only child. And how his Mommy will change, after the baby is born and comes home.
He has a lot of stress and pressure right now.

Pull-ups are useless for night time. Because, it does not hold much, and it leaks. Just use a night time diaper. Huggies. That is what I use for my 5 year old son.
BOTH my kids, NEVER EVER, got "confused" about wearing diapers at night and underwear during the day... BECAUSE, I simply explained to them, that their body is not ready yet... to be dry at night.

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J.P.

answers from Denver on

Hi--
My son turned 7 in July. It is only in the last month that he is consistently waking up dry every morning. We went through some similar stuff as you. We tried everything-- chiropractor, acupuncture, homeopathics, not giving him water for a few hours before bed, etc. A friend of mine did some research and it turns out that about 10% of the time, the body is biologically unable to hold that much urine throughout the night. Apparently around the age of seven or eight the body finally starts to catch. Even older in some cases. There is some heredity involved. In our case, my husband's brother also wet the bed until he was seven or eight years old. So you may just have to let him have the pull ups. My son was able to wake up dry sometimes, but it never lasted until now. I guess what I am saying is this too shall pass :-) As with most things, eventually he'll grow out of it.
J.

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S.L.

answers from New York on

I double made the bed, that is put a mattress protector, fitted sheet, then another mattress protector, and another fitted sheet so in the middle of the night I just stripped off the top half. If I were you I would do wahtever to make my life easier right now and after the baby is born. I would try getting him up in the middle of the night if it kept me from having to wash the sheets as often! If that doesnt work just use the Good Nights or pullups-why not??

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