Almost 3 Yoa Boy Refuses to Potty Train at Home

I doesn't sound like he is not potty trained if he is going at the day care. It sounds like a power struggle between the two of you for some reason. If he is going at daycare, he will probably go at the other things you want to involve him in. I had a son that was about 3 1/2 before he was potty trained. He still continued to get wet at night for a long time after that. He was just different from my others If that were the case, I would say stop stressing about it and leave him in pull-ups till he is ready. The more you push him the more he may be resisting. If he is doing it for other people though, you know he can. You just have to figure out why he isn't doing it for you. Does he go for you mom or grandmother? Have you taken him to the store and let him pick out some under-ware? Maybe the ones that have a longer leg on them so they won't hurt him. Maybe if he picks them out and gets excited about them he will want to wear them. Tell him he has to stay stay dry in them. I can't figure out why the previous under-ware would have hurt him unless it was too small or left on him wet. I hope some of this helps.

1 mom found this helpful

One thing you could try to do is let him pee outside when you can, this is how I trained my son. Another thing if you can find a large tin coffee can that he can go in. It makes a cool noise. I know theese things may sound strange but they worked for me.

Have you tried letting him stand up? Have him try to shoot the peepee in the water like a fireman putting out a fire. You might try putting cheerios or something flushable in the water for him to shoot. They also make things you can get for them to pee on. This might be more fun. Good luck!

try giving him a treat if he potty.only if he potty.i worked in daycares and that was the way i helped some mothers.let me know what happens.

Read the book "Toilet Training in Less Than A Day" by Azrin and Foxx.

My pediatrician in Texas (also my mom's friend) used fruit loops and had her son (who's now my age)aim at the cereal with his pee. It became a fun game for him and he potty trained in about a week.

I have to say that kids have a mind of their own and will do things when they think it is there idea! My 6 yr old took her good old time and i insisted she wear panties b/c I wanted her to go. She eventually trained on her own time.
My now 4 year was NEVER GOING TO MAKE IT - or so I thought! He was almost 3 1/2 when when one day my husband and I looked at each other and asked " when he start wearing underware and going pee in the potty?". It been over 2 weeks at that point when we really thought about it. It happened literally overnight with him. I had bought him some underware and he did like having his "cars" underware and then also a set that was "just like dads"!!
Our 2 yr old goes potty but only whe wants. I truly believe that the child has to have the desire to go themselves. Take the pressure off and allow them to do things on their own. It will happen and stressing everyone out in the process is NO FUN at all. Just be patient and you'll wake up one day seeing they are all grown up - doing it themselves.

try cheerios in the pot for target practice. it worked with my boy.

The problem with day cares is they want the child's development to conform to their time table, which doesn't always work. I tried potty training my son just before his third birthday as well (also with stickers, treats, new toys, encouragement, and even crepe paper) and I met with about as success as you seem to be having. I gave it up and waited 8 months until he was three and a half and within a few short days he was completely trained, needed no reminders, and was even dry at night. He just wasn't quite ready before. Some kids take a little longer, but they do get there. I know you are working with time constraints and are under stress to accomplish this rather daunting feat, but have peace in knowing it will eventually work, and this too shall pass.

If he goes at daycare he can go at home... He just knows that you don't want to battle with him so he wins....

My son, who is now 7, wasn't potty fully potty trained until after he turned 3. As a matter of fact, it was when he started going to a daycare that he became officially potty trained. I think it was seeing the other children going to the potty that helped him. Plus, if he was going to go swimming in the daycare pool during the summer, he had to be completely trained. It did take him a long time. From start to finish it took about 10 months.

I would suggest that you ask his daycare for some advice since he does go to the potty there. I defintely think that kids know how to push their parent's buttons because they do stuff for other people, but not for their mom or dad. I wish you luck. Maybe you could try putting some cheerios in the potty and tell him to aim at them. Maybe making a game of it will help. Reminding him to go like every half hour or so should help too. Give him a book to read while using the potty. And limit his intake before bedtime. If you are worried about messing up the bed, try putting a vinyl tablecloth over the mattress and then put the sheet on the top.

Do your mom or grandma have any suggestions? One more thing, he may be having a difficult time dealing with the seperation. Oh yeah, try whatever method the daycare is using as far as the potty, potty seat, or whatever.

Dear J.,

Don't get overly concerned about your son. He is just turning 3, and believe it or not, that is not that late to be where he is (boys tend to be late bloomers). Also, if he is potty trained at school, he will most likely wear underwear to any other thing you want him to attend that requires potty trained children. Lastly, the thing that worked for me when potty training my son is a potty seat I got at Wal-mart. I think it was a Fischer price, but don't quote me. The difference in this potty seat compared to the other two I had for him is it sang/played music when he peed and pooed in the potty. He thought it was so cool that he actually wanted to use it. While I know this is terrible, I also bribed him with those small reeses peanut butter cups every time he went poo in the potty without me asking he would get one. So, basically one miniature cup per day. He doesn't get much in the way of junk food, so it was a big deal and I did it for about a month.

Good luck!

P.

Hi J.! Remember that major changes in children's lives don't help the potty training process... my son took until almost 4 to train... once he learned that he wouldn't be able to try Karate until he was trained... suddenly he was trained in a day! It will happen, and if he isn't ready by T-ball, he doesn't get to play... I'll bet he'll change his mind pretty quick!
The more you get frustrated the more he'll resist... easier said than done, but don't beat yourself up because he isn't on everyone else's schedule... let go and see what he does... I wish you all the best, and much success with this!

One of the reasons he may be so excited at daycare is the need to feel like one of the boys. My daughter became success at potty trainging after a little girl that I babysit told her the big girls don't go potty in their Dora panties. Now she will knock you over to get to the potty.

I just wanted to say..Dont Stress out about it. I think most people try to hard on this with their kids.

I have four children. One is still in diapers at 3, although he knows to get out of the bath and the pool to go pee and every so often will ask to go.

But in all honesty, with all of our children we started early on showing them the toilet, putting them on it, talking about it, etc and then when they were ready THEY pretty much told us.

Just think about this...do you know ANY adults who arent potty trained? lol it will happen, I PROMISE :-)

Now if the T-ball is something that HE really wants to do then keep talking to him about it and explaining that he can't unless he goes potty like a big boy.

Other than that, just dont let it stress you out. It WILL happen. :-)

Just my 2 cents :-)

Hi Jennifier
Have you thought maybe he is a little boy and the other little boys are standing up to use the potty. I have 8 sones yes8 and all of them refused to sit on the potty, but the would stand and use it.

My son had that same problem. We finally told him if he wanted to go to school he had to be potty trained. He really wanted to go to school. He started going more and more. I also let him go outside which was like a reward to him. He thought it was really cool to pee on the tree, or see how far he could pee.

Hi J.! I am new to mamasource but just had to respond. :) My son was about 3 1/2 when he finally decided he liked using the potty. He started using it to do #1 early on... but #2 didn't phase him at all.... he'd run around with a dirty diaper or training pants all day long. I thought I would go nuts. I tried all the tricks and nothing would get him to budge. All of a sudden though, just one day, he started doing it on his own. I had pretty much given up by that point when he took off on his own. I'd decided I was going to have to buy "Adult" diapers just to get them to fit by the time he was trained. :)

My husband and I were also living in my parent's home at the time. My father had recently passed away and my mother's health was declining. We took care of her at home for almost a year when she finally needed more care than we could do and she moved to a nursing home. The stress of this situation may be been a factor for my son. BUT... we'd been living there since he was 9 months old when my father first became so ill. I'm wondering if your situation (seperatin and move) may have some underlying factor here.

If it does, it will work itself out though, I promise. I beat myself up thinking that we'd made the wrong decision to move in to care for my parents for a long time regarding my son's care. Then I decided that it was the best (and only) decision we could have made at a difficult time.

Good luck! I don't have a lot of advice except to tell you my son went through sort of the same thing and he's a healthy, happy 9 year old now. :)

some boys are harder to train I have 4 children 2 boys 2 girls my girls were trained by two my boys I didn't even start till two the doctor told my not to even start my boys till they were two boys are different than girls and I would find out how they are doing it at daycare I think that t ball at three is a bit young headstart o.k. also make a big deal when he does do but I have heard that children have a problems flushing part of them down the toilet

I have a son same age and going thru the same thing, the other night he was in tub and drained the water and then pooped in tub and then came in living room to tell me about it. I too am at wits end. He does good at daycare and at nighttime we have to put pull up on and he wets it, He has been very hard to train. I am backing off for awhile and give it several months time and maybe he will not feel pressured. Good luck to you too, sorry I couldnt help anymore than that. A.

Take the diapers away completely. He won't enjoy soiling himself after a few times. He knows that he doesn't "have to" use the potty it just goes to the diaper as it always has. He will feel so big always wearing big boy underwear. Give it two days.

this is gonna sound crazy but this is how i trained my son i put fruit loops in the toilet for him to aim at and it became a game to him when he hits them they will move around in the water

My son was the same way, and it was a power struggle between us. He didn't take me seriously as an authority figure, and who could blame him as he spent the first years of his life watching Mommy being abused and disrespected by Daddy. Once Daddy was gone, things got better after a bit when he realised that I was more than just a whipping girl and that I was his Mommy and deserved respect and his cooperation. The big thing that really turned it around for him though, was dropping a few fruit loops (yes, the cereal) in the toilet and telling him to do target practice. LOL! He had no problems with going when he needed to after that!

J.:

I am a mom of 2 boys - 7 and 5 and a 9 year old girl. My daughter was completely done, potty trained, no accidents at 2 1/4 years old, by NO effort of ours. She wanted to wear "big girl beautiful panties" that we had talked about since her 2nd birthday everytime we changed her. The boys on the other hand...they didn't care about Superman or Batman on their bottom, they just wanted to PLAY with Batman. So, my 7 year old was almost 4 when he was potty trained, but again, by NO effort on our part...we didn't time minutes, or keep asking him, or have to give him something, etc, we just waited til he was ready and willing. The 5 year old, was about 3.5, but he had an older brother to be like and keep up with, as well as 2 slightly older cousins, so he decided a bit quicker. But, the best thing for me, was to wait until it was their idea and they wanted to, because it was effortless. I can tell you after having 2 little boys, they do LOVE running around the backyard naked and jumping in and out of a little pool. The get out to go the bathroom in the yard...we are girls, we don't think like boys...keep saying that to yourself....they like the adventure, the competition, how "high" can I go, how "far" can I go, "would you water that bush for me?" And don't worry, it won't develop a "lifelong need to pee outside" or that they will "never care who sees them pee", etc. These are comments from people who've never done it. My 5 year old still likes to pee outside because it's fun -- because he can shoot it way out there....but he'd die if anyone saw him do it now. If you're in the backyard playing or swimming, even if he's not naked, encourage him to stand up and pee like the big boys do. If he spends any time with his dad, remind his dad that kids imitate us (for good and bad) and that the more he "goes with dad", the more he'll want to on his own. It is probably the other kids at daycare that motivate him to want to at daycare...good luck. I hope this helps. C.