13 answers

Almost 3 Year Old Regressing to Younger Siblings Habits...

Hey everyone,
My almost 3 year old son has completley regressed to his younger siblings habits. He was almost completely off the bottle and pacifiers until his younger sister was born (they are a year and a half apart). Now he will gently take her pacifier or bottles. It became so hard that I just let him have them as well. I am wondering how to proceed with this. SHould I take my daughter (who is now 1) off the bottle and pacifier? It just seems impossible at this point to tell him no because I have already let it go so far. HELP!!!!! :)

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

This is completely normal. Just try to be patient and allow a little of the regression. Also, try having him help with his little sister. Being the big helper may be more appealing to him. Most kids respond to being the big helper when asked.
K. K.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Here's some links on this subject:

http://www.parents.com/toddlers/development/sibling-issue...
http://www.babycenter.com/0_helping-your-preschooler-adju...
http://education.byu.edu/youcandothis/new_siblings.html
http://www.preschooleducation.com/art68.shtml
http://www.aboutourkids.org/articles/new_baby_sibling_wha...
http://www.raisingkids.co.uk/SIB/SIB.ASP
http://www.effectiveparenting.co.za/article_bringing_home...

You can also do a Google search on "how to help an older child adjust to a new sibling" etc.

All the best, your son is normal, this is common. He needs reassurance.... its an ongoing process and at each age juncture they can have different issues about it.

Take care,
Susan

2 moms found this helpful

TOTALLY NORMAL! I read some of the responss and using a bottle or paci is not unhealthy! It is a temporary regression, he will get over it. I wouldn't wean for this reason, if you're not ready to. It can be really hard to break the cycle after taking the passive approach. Easier said that done, but...explain to your 3 year old that he already has his turn to be a baby and now it's his turn to be big brother and that mommy needs help to take care of the baby ;) Where there's a will there's a way....it'll get better...it has to :)
Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

C.,

I'm not going to say what you've done is wrong, because you've done what was natural...comforted and loved your son. And, really that's all any mother can do. It's not unhealthy or wrong, you just have to help him by gently guiding him away from the bottle/paci's and find creative means to make it fun to be a 'big boy' and not act like a baby.

My son is 2.5 and I don't have more than one, but I do remember being a big sister and wondering why my sister was so special. But, my parents also made a concerted effort to make me their 'big helper' with the baby and gave me 'jobs' to help with that gave me some kind of responsibility. This gave me a sense of ownership over the process.

If you aren't ready to wean your daughter you don't have to, this should all be in the timeline she is ready for and not because your son has begun to regress.

I checked out the links Susan shared and found them helpful...maybe also you could get him some books on being a big brother and make it more about needing him to be a big boy and help you with the little one. So, he begins to see how special it is to be a big brother and not the baby. You could start offering a cup to both, if you are ready to wean from the bottle and have him help you show her how to do it...make him the teacher.

I hope that helps a little bit...Good Luck!

2 moms found this helpful

This is completely normal. Just try to be patient and allow a little of the regression. Also, try having him help with his little sister. Being the big helper may be more appealing to him. Most kids respond to being the big helper when asked.
K. K.

2 moms found this helpful

i think its time to take her off the bottle atleast. its not healthy for your son to use the bottles or pacis. does he use a cup? i would have him pick out his own cup at the store and your daughter too. then after your daughter get on the cup then just toss the bottles and even the paci. its normal for a child to want to be like the younger brother and sister because it gets them attention. i hope this helps good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

You should have never given into his regression...he is a big boy and should act like it. Yes get rid of ALL pacis now. PUt them all on the porch tonight for the paci fairy and have gifts in the morning. Don't give him a bottle anymore....explain that if he wants to do baby things like a bottle he can"t do all the gig boy things you let him do now. I had both my girls off the bottle at 15 months. You cut a little whole in all the nipples then the next week cut a bigger whole. Then the next week throw them away and replace with a bunch of new leak proof sippy cups.

1 mom found this helpful

I would say that you could get rid of the bottle and pacifier completely at this point, if you are ready to do that. I think it will be easier for your daughter that way, at least. I had both of my kids off the bottle at a year and it was no problem at all (I think they adjust more easily when they are younger). Your son will probably deal with it in his usual manner when he does not get his way. But again, I think sooner may be better.

That said, I will tell you that the pacifier was a different story in our house. My older son loved the pacifier but the younger one never really cared for it (he began to suck on a blanket instead). I let my older son keep the pacifier until almost 3-1/2. He was so in love with it (and he only had it at bedtime) that I couldn't bear to take it away from him. The dentist told us he needed to be rid of it by 4 if we wanted to avoid possible permanent damage to his teeth, so we made the plans, and when we got rid of it, it was not a huge problem. That was last summer; his teeth are completely back to normal and perfect now, and he doesn't even remember the pacifier anymore. I'm just sharing this because I know how it is to let your kid have a comfort item, maybe a little bit past the "expiration date." I don't regret letting my son have the pacifier for that long. He loved it for the time he had it, and when it was time to go, it was not easy for him, but he moved on and recovered very quickly. I think that you, as the Mom, will know the best course for your kids.

As for mimicking the younger sibling, my older son did this too, but it was with different things, and I just thought it was terribly cute. When the baby was tiny and would lay on blanket on the floor, his big brother would want lay on the blanket too. When the baby started to crawl, his big brother went back to crawling. When the baby began to say words in his own special way, his big brother would talk exactly the same way (and announce that he was talking his little brother's language). If you decide to do away with the bottle and the pacifier now, my guess is that your son will start to mimick his little sister in other ways. I think that is just what kids do. They learn by mimicking us, why not mimick a younger sibling? Eventually, I think the desire to grow up overtakes them and they will no longer emulate anyone younger than them, but I'm no expert. Just my thoughts. :)

Best of luck to you! :)

1 mom found this helpful

Hi C., a 3 year old does not need a bottle or pacifire, you need to be in charge, not your 3 year old. The word NO never killed a child. At one year I would not give my child a bottle or pacifire, actually I never gave any of my baby's a pacifire. Your 3 year old may be jealous of his sister so he wants what she has.Nip it in the bud now. Is your 3 year old potty trained? J. L.

1 mom found this helpful

1 / 3
Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.