Almost 3 Year Old Afraid to Poop.

Updated on January 18, 2009
C.J. asks from Macomb, MI
16 answers

I have having a problem with my son's BMs. He has always been a bit constipated and has very hard poop. It started to get worse and he would go days without going. I have started to use benefiber and adding fiber more in his diet. It has helped to soften the poop but he still is afraid to go. He will get on all fours and start to go, but as soon as a little comes out, he will stop. So about 8 times a day he has just a very small amount of poop, most of the time it is still stuck between his cheeks. We have been having a hard time with potty training and I wonder if this is going to make it worse. When he goes that little bit, I sit him on the toilet and he lets the little bit drop in and gets excited, but he will not push any out on the toilet. He acts like he is pushing, but nothing comes out. Has anyone had these type of problems. Should I try to make the poop even softer? I am so sick of poop!

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J.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi C.! I too went through problems with my son. We had to put him on senacot, however I would first try giving him some prune juice, maybe about 2-4 oz. a day. See how that goes & adjust the amount accordingly. Keep in mind that he probably has a lot of pain when he tries to have a b.m. so first you need to give him something that will soften it up & once he gets used to the idea that it no longer is painful to have a b.m. then he will be able to relax & go like he should.This will take some time, so be patient & hang in there! Things will work out!

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C.N.

answers from Detroit on

try prune juice and lots of liquids but not ones with artificial sweetners like high fructose corn syrup. 100% juices and water.
Good Luck
C.

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L.C.

answers from Detroit on

My 2 1/2 year old son has the same exact problem!! It's been going on (off and on) for almost a year. We were going through 10 diapers a day!

We saw his doctor last week and determined that he was NOT constipated but had probably been traumatized from a past bout with constipation and that's why he would refuse to have a complete bowel movement.

He's been on Miralax since Thursday and it's finally starting to work. The doctor gave us a prescription and it comes in powder form that I add to his juice in the morning. I like that I can control how much I give him.

He actually went 4 times today but they've been REAL bowel movements. The doctor's plan was to keep him on the Miralax for one month and hopefully my son will learn that it's not scary to go poop. Seems like it's working so far.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Detroit on

One word: Miralax. Talk to your pediatrician, but it has done wonders for my daughter. We had the same issues and pooping was such a nightmare... Now, it is much MUCH better. HTH.
S.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.O.

answers from Detroit on

I feel your pain! y daughter had the same problem. We used to give her miralax. call your pharmacist to ask about the dosage. We would also let her sit in a nice warm bath and play. The two of those worked like a charm. Sometimes she would poop within minutes of being in the tub. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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K.W.

answers from Jackson on

My doctor gave my almost 3 yr old lactulose which doesnt give them diahrhea, just makes it easier to go...perhaps you could ask him about it...its worked wonders for her!

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M.P.

answers from Detroit on

My son was experiencing the same thing. I believe we tried to potty train him a little too son. We potty trained him before my daughter was born. She was born a few months before my son turned 3.

Here is what I did: made sure he drank water (1/2 of his body weight in ounces), good roughage food (including fresh fruits and vegetables--not too many bananas as they will constipate him), basically try to stay away from foods that bind (ie peanut butter, cheese, etc). My son was so bound up, and he would not let us give him any more laxatives or suppositories, that we took him to the doctor and she had to physically remove stool from his bottom. It was horrible for him and it really hurt me to see him go through that. The doctor then said to give him Mineral Oil (yuck!). I tried and then thought if the Mineral Oil pushes the bad stuff out it must push the good stuff out too.

So I switched from his Flintstone vitamin (which can bind up a child) to a food based Multi Vitamin (Ocean Wonders) and gave him a Probiotic (Optiflora). At his follow up visit, the doctor said the supplements were great (she copied down all of the ingredients and wrote them in his file) and said keep him on them.

Hope this helps. If you want to know more about what I give my son, email me at ____@____.com Beth

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K.M.

answers from Jackson on

Kathy F. is absolutely right. Try to give him more fruit and fiber in his diet. An apple a day is the old saying, but the juice works just as good.

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R.G.

answers from Detroit on

Give him lots of apple juice and yogurt. It will soften his stool.

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L.N.

answers from Benton Harbor on

We have to use Miralax daily, just a small amount (1/2 tsp), or my son will get impacted. We've tried it all with no help. Yes, I am aware of the recent news about Miralax, I just personally don't happen to buy it 100% (plus that particular study was done on kids who were given the whole adult dose regularly). The risk/benefit ratio is a no brainer here. Anyway, yes, you do have to make it softer...almost to the point that he cant hold it in...just for a few days, then back off on the Miralax to a maintenance dose. He will *have* to let it out because it will be loose, and he will learn that it doesn't hurt anymore. Then you can decide with your doc on a dose that is right for him.

Yogurt has been our second 'drug of choice'...it works miracles! We are slowly beginning to taper off the Miralax (very slowly) as we increase the yogurt. It is SO good for digestive health. Doesn't need to be an expensive brand, any will do, and it even works on my lactose intolerant boys!

Good luck!
~L.

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A.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I went thru this same thing with my daughter until she was 3 1/2. We had to use the Miralax also. Also, she had gotten to be that much older she did understand what was going on and she found out that when she would hold it in for a week anyways, I would use a suppository on her. She didn't like that very much. Afer doing that a couple times, she learned it was ok to poop on her own and she didn't need or want the suppository.
Then, 6 months later we were potty training my son. Who would have thought I would have 2 kids that would do the same thing! So I am still working on it with him. He just turned 3 and we are still doing the Mirilax on him also. The doctor told us to give him enough fiber and Miralax to make it so loose that he can't hold it in. Well, I do that, and he still thinks it is going to hurt the next time. Don't get me wrong, it has gotten easier...I can tell when he is trying to poop and I sit him on the potty and he goes usually. But sometimes it is an all day affair of trying multiple times or it takes DAYS.
But, everyone told me with my daughter it would just 'click' one day. I never believed them. But that is really how it happened. So, I am waiting for that 'click' with my son now. It can't come soon enough!!!

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K.F.

answers from Saginaw on

Corrine, It is called TRS, Toddler Retension Syndrome, YES, make it softer and easier, try prune jc or blueberry jc, blueberry jc is more expensive but worth it if he doesn't like prune. You can also rim his bum hole with some vaseline, it will hurt him less. Try the juice in the evening and morning, or prunes and dates dried, they are almost as effective, taste good too fresh blueberries are good too. No child should have this trouble I am sorry for his pain. My son had this, we started him on a 1/2 teaspoon of mineral oil, not as good! I hope these work for him, they did for us! K.
Mom of 5 grown, childcare provider for 30 years, it worked for many of the children who went through this in my care also.

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F.W.

answers from Detroit on

It sounds like he isn't going to be potty trained until he can comfortably pass a bowel movement. Work on that, and most of your problem will be solved. You might need a laxative, like the others suggested, and I would give it awhile of him doing it comfortably, like a month or so, until it isn't an isue anymore. Then resume the potty training. You never know if in his mind he is associating potty with pain, so you want to avoid that issue. I had 3 kids, all difficult to potty train, and I feel your sick of poop-ness!

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S.P.

answers from Detroit on

Hi C., I have a daughter who has some medical problems and is constipated all the time. We did use Benefiber for some time but have actually had more success with Miralax. I give her 1/2 capful every other day in her juice. She is 6 1/2 and only weighs 32 lbs. This is grose but Miralax adds water or fluid back to the stool. So it does not soften it too much where it will cause diarhea but it kinda coats the poop with fluid so it slides out easier. Sorry to be so grose! The other thing I would suggest is if your son sits on the big potty, let him rest his feet on a stool, so he can push or get some leverage when trying to go. Sometimes the further up his legs are almost in a squat position, the easier it will be. Make sure he is drinking LOTS of fluids and eats lots of fruit. Bananas tend to constipate though and so does cheese. Also walking tends to help the motility of your bowels so make sure he is active. And last but not least, lots of praise. This is probably scarry for him because it hurts to go so make a big deal when he does go, no matter how little. Good luck! I feel your pain about being sick of poop!!! S.

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P.R.

answers from Detroit on

Is he a big milk drinker? (Milk products, grilled cheese, pizza, mac and cheese, yogurt, ice cream etc etc etc) Milk is very constipating. How 'bout bread (gluten: wheat, barley, rye, malt flavoring, most oats). Gluten is constipating, too.

What does he eat?

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M.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

We spent the entire summer dealing with this, my daughter refused to poop for 3 months. We ended up giving her Miralax in her drink every day. It does work...our pedi said no potty training until we got this under control. So we stopped talking about it and tried to stay positive. He will eventually give in, it is very frustrating to watch your kid do this. Good Luck!

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