All He Wants from Santa...

don't worry about it. recently a child in my care turned three and he refused his birthday party. once all the family gathered he was into it. he still refused to be three but that is ok. at this stage they are learning their independence and that they can make choices of their own like not wanting to go to the potty or not wanting gifts.

Hi K.,
He might just not want to "come into his house". Maybe he figures if he doesn't ask for anything Santa won't have to come down the chimney (or through the front door). You know what I mean. Anyway, he might think Santa is okay when you are out and about, but the thought of him coming in while your son is sleeping might scare him. My husband's cousin's daughter liked Santa but didn't want him in her house. So for her house, Santa left his presents by the front door. She is now 12 but I know that she eventually got over it. I hope this helps.

Hi K. B,

There is a "reason" why he "doesn't" want any presents... Hopefully, some day you will know "why"! But until then, I would suggest you take this "bitter-sweet" opportunity, to teach your son how sweet it is to "give" to others.

Try to be sure it's not because he thinks he's a "bad" kid. From what you wrote, I don't beleive you think he thinks that so...do take this "bitter-sweet" opportunity to let him be a "giver" this Christmas.

Honestly, it does make us feel so good when we "give" anything to others - whether it be our time, a hug, a small present, a big present, etc... When we "give", it gives us healthy endorphins - happiness. Giving actually does much more for the giver than the receiver.

I would suggest telling him that any presents he receives "he" can give (if he still wants to do so at Christmas) to less fortunate children (like may-be those in a foster care agency or Children's hosp). And, if possible, have him go with you to drop them off. He might even choose to keep some - which would be good since that would be an indication that he doesn't feel "bad" about himself or unworthy to receive gifts from others.

Also, if he does choose to give some or all of his gifts away -- ask him how it made him feel (does he miss his gifts or is he still happy about his decision because it made him feel "happiness"). Either way - this will be win-win for both of you... if not in the short term then definitely in the long term.

Keep in mind that some relatives might get mad if they find out he gave one of their gifts away - but don't worry about that or what anyone else says - Your responsibility and priority should be what is in yours and your son's best interest and those that love you should understand that.

On another note - I thought I would hate being divorced and single again - but I have come to LOVE it! I hope you do too... (that's a whole different topic - but if you're struggling with that - let me know)

I truly wish you and your son much joy, happiness and peace this Christmas and thereafter...

K. B

I wouldn't worry about it at this age. My son was the same way, this is the first year he has really told me anything that he wants for Christmas (he's 4 1/2). He also still doesn't get excited about Halloween. He never wants to wear a costume, even if it's to get lots of candy. I think some kids just have different things that excite them. Maybe get him involved in picking out a gift for his grandparents or a cousin or friend. Take advantage of the opportunity to teach him that it is better to give than receive. This might help him get excited about the whole thing, if not, just give it time - I don't know any kid who doesn't like Christmas. I might mention it to the doctor at his next regular check-up just so they can be aware of that "psychological" symptom - but like I said at this age I wouldn't worry about it.

K. B.
Could it be that he sees how hard life is through your working and having to go to school,as a single mother. Maybe you should ask him what he would like to do. Start him early on being aware of the community needs and helping others say in a soup kitchen or church.
I would make sure he does not think he is bad and does not deserve a gift. But if he just is content with what he has, praise you and your family and those around this child for a job well done.
This child is not greedy wanting everything he sees.
As long as he knows the reason we celebrate Christmas and who Jesus is and what HE did for us.
That is the most important thing.
I am looking forward to reading what happened!
It is so refreshing to hear about a GOOD CHILD in this forum.
Keep up the good work.
C.

Hi K.,

Instead of asking him what does he want for Christmas, you may try asking him what would he like to give to Baby Jesus. Sometimes little children understand the meaning of Christmas more than we do. If he has heard the real Christmas story, then maybe he feels he does not deserve anything. I know this is a young age to be thinking this way, or maybe he feels like the other gals said, he doesn't want Santa to come into your house while you are sleeping. I don't know how much time you are able to spend with him, but maybe all he wants is some time with his mommy. You sound kind of busy! Don't know if I am much help.

I think that's great!! Finally a kid who is happy with what he has and isn't asking for everything he sees! Count your blessings and help keep the focus on giving to others. Merry Christmas!

You already said you taught him that santa was watching....and won't come if you're bad. Perhaps you need to talk to your little one. It's amazing sometimes what children view as "bad" Maybe and this is just a theory ofcourse... he did something and thinks in his eyes it was bad so doesn't want to aknowledge he wants aything for he knows Santa won't come. Try talking to him and see. just a thought! and gl =)

K.
I think that your child is wonderful with all this "I want everything" from most children, maybe your child is just a good kid and would rather not bother, I don't know....I know this sounds crazy to most parents but I'm not teaching my child about Santa, yes he is the spirit of Xmas, but not that he is real, maybe you son already knows this???? With all the information overload out there who knows!! Anyways I wouldn't be too worried, I know a lot of parents that would be happy not to buy, buy , buy for their children so just feel blessed for now and I think he just going through a phase, hang in there!!!!!!

Is he afraid of Santa? My ex husband told me that he was terrified of Santa when he was little. He would lock all the doors up tight every night around Christmas because he didn't want him coming in the house.

I have a 2 year old who says that Santa isn't coming to our house. When I ask him if Santa is coming to our house, he yells no and then when I ask him if he is a good boy, he says no. He is a very well behaved 2 year old, so always say that he is a godd boy. Whenever Santa is on TV, he gets excited and yells Santa, so I know he knows who he is. We haven't taken him to sit on his lap yet, but for some reason, he doesn't want Santa coming to the house. I know 2 is a lot younger than 3, but we still felt it was kind of odd. He also refused to put on his halloween costume on halloween. Even at school, when all the other kids were putting on their costumes, he wanted nothing to do with it. I guess peer pressure doesn't work at 2. Hope it lasts:-)

My daughter is going to be 3 in Feb. When asked what she wants she tells me nothing, just a Christmas Party. Even when her older brother was talking about what he wanted, she just kept saying nothing. I tell her that she has been a good girl and tha Santa wants to bring her something and she told me, "But mom, my don't want any thing, my said."
I like the advice from another mom who said to get him in the spirit of giving then. I think I may take that advice too.

Sounds like youve got a wonderful little man in your household! Your deffinetly doing a great job with the parenting..I just wanted to tell you that though i know several others have as well.A child who knows the joys of giving is deffinetly a gift in their own..Happy Holidays!!

K.,

The baby Jesus idea that someone mentioned is a great idea. I wonder if your son saw a tv show or someone read a book to him that had something to do with this. There might have been a moral in the story that he is misunderstanding a bit. You might also pick a name off an Angel Tree or something and have him shop for a toy for a poor boy his age.

That is funny 3 year olds are strange. LOL but I am having the exact oppisite of your problem my 3 year old son wants everything. boys are difficult even as men they are hard to buy for my hsband and father in law are the worst to bu for come christmas or birthdays. But I am sure he wil be so excited when christmas day comes and be so happy to hae new toys what kid doesn't love new toys.