Aiming for "Pleasing" Preschool Artwork

Yes, I would be irritated by this, have BEEN irritated by this. My past solution is to remind myself that it's from them, their heart and soul. You say he's happy with how they look, so I would suggest leaving them be. I once made dinner for my in-laws and my MIL really wasn't trying to be mean, but she made a couple of comments about the way I presented and served the meal. It hurt me a little because I tried to do something nice, and all she could see was that it wasn't her way of doing things. So if I can get hurt over a pork tenderloin, think about how a child can feel if his beautiful creations are critiqued by someone he loves. I'll bet the recipients will love the time, effort and again, heart and soul that he put into the ornaments.

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I used to be a preschool teacher. Please understand that with children, it's the process not the product that matters. It sounds like he is really enjoying the way he is creating artwork, and you may ruin that if you continue to worry about the product and he may end up hating even the process of creating art if he feels like you are not accepting of his product. He is learning so much as he experiments, please let him do so as he pleases.

In your situation of making ornaments I can understand you wanting the product to turn out "nice" as many people don't understand children. I think you made the best of the situation by giving your son a medium (the glitter paint) that allowed for him to create on his own and still create an adult pleasing product. In everyday art experiences, though, I would let him go. Let him pick his own mediums and do as he pleases with them. I hope you can learn to respect his process and accept his product as something unique to him without putting adult expectations on him.

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It is hard when you are trying to make a craft where you have an idea in mind of how it should look.
My son is 5 and it is awesome to watch his developement in this area. I get so excited when his drawing went from smily heads to people with hands and feet. He enjoys art and I truly think it was because I don't put pressure on him, we had/have lots and lots of materials avaiable so he can color with markers, crayons, pens etc or paint as much as he likes. Especially on Blank paper, not coloring books. And it was something i encouraged them to do, while i was making dinner or cleaning up the kitchen, or whatever.
Did you catch him at a good time? not hungry, tired, in the middle of playing or watching a show?? Is art something that you do with him often, and is this his typical attitude towards it??
My best suggestion would be that if you can antipate that he is in a color mixing phase then tell him he is limited to one color per ornament, or that he can do two colors but they have to be one onthe top and one on the bottom. That sounds controling but when you want a certain look that might be what you have to do, And you could always tell him that after he does one for Aunt Sue he can do one for himself anyway he wants. I also wonder if maybe you spread the project out and do a couple over several days instead of maybe doing 10 in one afternoon if that would help at all??? I don't know.
It is possible that some kids just don't like art. But i would think at 4 it would still be fun, especially if it involved time with mom.
Glad the final gift turned out ok. good save with the glitter. It sounds cute.

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L.,

I would recommend that you find the "good" parts of his art project and praise, praise, praise him about how much you like that part. Then, of course, model a neater way to color. You color one part of the picture and show him how to go slowly, in one direction as he colors. Ask him to join in. He'll probably try it for a few minutes. Praise him as he starts out following directions. He might then scribble and mix colors, but he'll eventually start to get neater.

Let him have fun. They're little for only a short while! :-)

J.

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I just want to say that I know what you mean. I was actually thinking about posting something similar on here.
My son just turned 5 a month ago. Everytme we go out to eat(which is very frequently) he colors. My husband and I try all the time to praise him and encourage him to color "nicely" and to stay within the lines. I know that he has the ability because I have seen a couple of "nice" pictures that he has colored.
He will most times color the entire picture one color. And when I say color, I mean scribble. I was actually starting to get a little concerned becase I know that my other 2 older children were coloring much nicer by his age.
It looks like you got more criticism than advice. But maybe I can pick through and find something that can help me.

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Hi L.,
I have read through the responses you've got so far and I do agree with a lot priciples:
•He's little
•He's expressing himself in his own way
•I do hate conformity and appreciate uniqueness as much as anyone else, maybe more!
•"Art" means different thing to different people
•I'm all about cultivating original thinking (as my 5 yo reminds me CONSTANTLY ;-)!!)

However, in my son's case it was something more.
My son, a Kindergartener, has NEVER, EVER liked to write/color or draw. I always figured "it's just not his bag, baby" But his preschool teachers pointed out, and my pediatrician agreed, that it was a fine motor delay.

He was evaluated & has been receiving OT for a few months now, and I am amazed at the difference! Also, to boot, color blindness was revealed at a preschool screening and confirmed by a pediatric opth. Poor little guy! He has been reading the color name son his crayons since nursery school as a coping skill.
In summary--it may be nothing--just the way he likes to color/draw/etc. My son always tended to choose black, black or black. It was like "how black do you want this picture?" Or he would try to color a white page white! LOL
Or it may be a fine motor thing....you would know. How does he do with dressing, buttons, snaps, shoes? Does he hold a pencil/crayon correctly? Does he complain that it hurts his hand when he colors for a length of time? Is his eye/hand coordination good?
This may not apply to your son, but I wanted to add this as reference for other moms who may be experiencing what I went through.
Good luck!

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L.:
My girlfriend has a three year old that she told me one day did some INCREDIBLE art. I was doubtful...but was still pleased when she said they were going to bring one of his "peices" over to me...guess what? He used this dark glitter paint that had gold stars in it and the peice really LOOKED LIKE REAL "ART" It was VERY cool! I am sure he just threw it on the paper in his own way, but something about this particular preschool paint made the painting look amazing. He called it "night sky". I have it framed in my living room. People come over and ask me who the arist is...they don't believe me that it was made by a three year old! lol
If you'd like, give me your email and I'd be glad to send you a picture, and find out what type of paint it is. It would make him proud of his work and let others marvel at his talent!! :)

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L., he is doing exactly what he is supposed to be doing with art...expressing himself. I know that can be frustrating for us as parents when we are trying to accomplish something. There are ways around this, though. You have to think out your projects before they begin. For instance, if you want him to paint something, start with one color at a time. Or pick projects that he can't really mess up. For example, you could have him decorate a box with macaroni and other shaped noodles as a jewelry box for Grandma. When he is done and the glue is dry, then you take it outside and spray paint it gold or whatever color you want. Or let him paint a picture mixing the colors however he wants and make it the background to a scrapbook page for someone with pictures of him enjoying himself painting or doing some other activity. Add captions in gold or silver marker that will stand out against his color mixtures. Or like you did, use glitter paints that are in their own container and are conducive to his type of artwork but still look pleasing to you. As I said, it is all a matter of perspective and working with his natural tendencies (or at least keeping them in mind).

One final idea, is to create personalized t-shirts/sweatshirts for family members. Allow your son to go wild in the Paint program on the computer (he won't be able to mix colors as much and if you really hate a choice, you can change it and blame it on the printer). Then print it out on iron-on paper and iron it on to the shirt. You could even paste a picture of your son and a message onto the painting before printing it.

Anyhow, I hope this helps. You are not alone out there but for our peace of mind, we have to think compromise. We can't completely change our children to fit what we want them to be and we can't control all of our emotions to love everything they do or create. So we compromise, we change our expectations a little and give them some limitations they can live with (even if they don't realize they are there).

Good luck with your little artist.

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Wow. You struck a nerve. I'm a professional artist, finally at 40, after overcoming the least artistic and least supportive parents in the history of the world. My mom has made so many "innocent" knit picky comments about her desires for what my art should look like over the years, that now I absolutely never show her my work. Anyway. The worst offenses you can make are the little comments that suppress or spark doubt for any reason. At any age. Especially 4. From a boy.

If you want to reprimand him for painting on the white carpet, or the walls with a permanent pen, or drawing or writing something obscene or mean, fine. But comments about "being in the lines" or "choosing colors that please your eye"....NOT COOL!!! WAY OFF LIMITS!!!!

Hopefully, he will find HIS OWN taste level, and experiment with which color combos which make HIM happy as he matures, but if you don't watch it, he may just tune into the fact that his work doesn't meet your approval through your little clues. And that's not productive by any stretch of the imagination in making him feel good about being creative. I would stick his messiest, brownest, muddiest, ugliest, Expressionist piece -as long as he had the most fun doing it-in and ornate gold frame and stick it in a place of honor for the whole family to admire.

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My son also 4 1/2 will only color with one crayon----purple! If you ask him what color is a carrot, he knows the right answer. If a worksheet says color the "A"s blue he does it. When it comes to "free play" coloring he just continuously choses purple...
Bottom line is that as long as my son follows specific directions in school and can identify all his colors and the colors of objects-I will not force him to use different colors or stay within the lines. I do praise him highly of he does show some "conformity". I also get my own paper and say I am going to draw a tree and show by example. But definitely do not force the issue (although it drives me crazy).

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Hi L.,

I totally agree, when you are not pressed for time or doing a specific craft, show him the color mixing combinations. He will marvel at it. Otherwise, even if he goes crazy mixing or grabbing several crayons he is actually working on his fine motor skills, and hand-eye coordination.

If he's super messy, you could put out only a few materials at a time and then employ his help in the clean up if possible. You do the most critical cleaning (preventing paint from getting on carpet, etc.) and let him help with an easy task.

"Pleasing preschool artwork" is kind of an oxymoron. It will be pleasing to the heart more than the aesthetics for now. I know I've tried to control my daughter's art and it's hard for me to just let her do it her way-I've learned to make suggestions and show her different ways of doing it at the onset of the craft time and then let her do it. At this age there's no wrong way to do art.I always write the name and date on the back of art if I intend to keep it-it's amazing to see the transformations from year to year. There's also tons of examples of art styles in children's books. You can point out the styles as you read. It may spark some interest in trying another approach in him.

If he produces an enormous amount of art put the one's he's especially proud of or that are special on the wall and discard the others while he's not home so he doesn't get upset.

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As an artist myself, I can say that sometimes we get very involved and energetic when making something. Now as an adult, I can focus more and really get into what I'm doing, as a small child, he doesn't know how to really focus the way an adult can. If you are worried about him putting lots of colors together to make black, try two colors that will mix to make a new color. He will learn color combinations that way. You could probably find a color wheel online and see what colors mix and match. Please don't criticize him. Instead of reasoning with him to draw/paint the way you think he should, when he is getting 'into it', try asking him what he's doing, 'what are you trying to make?', 'what were you thinking about when you made this'... he's expressing himself (as all artists do) so maybe trying to get him to 'explain' his art creation will help him look at what he's making in a new direction and it will help you understand what he is feeling when he gets all crazy and artsy. Let him create the way he wants and be happy if he is pleased with it. The worst would be if he was making a painty mess and getting frustrated by it (that's not healthy)... but he's not. So let it go and let him have his fun.

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I beg you to reassess this as a priority. The child is 4. This is not his issue, but your expectations - at 4 he SHOULD be making a mess and experimenting and making art this pleasing to HIS eye. If this the biggest problem you have with your children, thank your lucky stars that you are so blessed.

He is a kid and he is just having fun. Things may not look the way we would like them to but we should still be proud of the effort anyway. I understand that it is irritating to you but that is unfair to him. He is just expressing himself in whatever way he feels like at the moment. With children, I find that those ways can change from minute to minute. There have been numerous studies that have shown that if parents hinder children from being children, they can have lasting and harmful affects. Does it really matter what they look like, he's 4.5? If it matters that much to you then my suggestion would be to re-evaluate yourself and your expectations of him. It is unfair to put the pressure of perfection each time or what you want him to do all the time. My almost four year old daughter does things like that but I still hang them on the fridge anyway, because she is proud of them and so am I.

I would not be irritated at this. You mention he is in preschool -- at my little guy's preschool, they work with them to go into the lines to learn fine motor skills. So, when he is at home, I let him be free. They need time to do what they want, and the daycare is working with him on the in the lines. So, I try to let him cut loose at home. It's what I want to do after a day at work. : )

Hi, He is only 4 years old he should do whatever art makes him happy as long as he doent paint up your house. I am an artist designer , went to Pratt and was very sloppy and still am. Each individual is different and what you may think is pleasing to the eye may actually be not good art. It is certainly too young to know if he will be creative but these young years are so interesting to watch and not dictate when everything else in their life they are told what to do. You need to just praise all of his art work.he is just a little kid

He's only 4.5. Don't start pressuring him now. He is going to have a lifetime of pressure to do things the way other people want them done (especially in school). Home should be a safe place where he can experiment & try new/different things w/o being judged. Anyone getting an ornament should love it b/c its his creation, not b/c the colors are the most beautiful.

He is just a kid. They need to experiment and have fun. If he likes it, then you should go along with it. Don't make him feel that he is doing something wrong, ugly, or not good enough. Even if you don't use those words, you can really hurt him. Art, at any age, is subjective. There is no wrong way to do it. Let him enjoy himself. Sometimes it's fun to go out of the lines - and that doesn't always mean in a coloring book. As adults, we should try that ourselves some time. Just have fun!

L., if your son is happy with his result, let it go. I can tell you as a child who was pressured by their parents, please don't start now, especially with art. Art should be fun, especially at four. I'm sure it's irritating, but it's not serious.

Let it go. He may not be interested in art. He may be the next Monet. The world will not rise and set if your child doesn't color in the lines. You said that he can do it, but just doesn't seem to want to. So thats what he does for his creativity. The glitter paint isn't a bad idea as an alternative for a present, BUT if I had a piece of his art an dlooked at the ornament I would know that *he* really didn't make it. And to me thats a big bummer. My oldest son thinks that he's horrible at art as my middle son is quite gifted in the tradational sense. You know what I love both their art because its from them: messy, perfect, black or single colored. In the end its about giving them praise and not getting hooked into making small stuff big :)

How would you feel if every time you colored or drew something you were criticized and it just "wasn't good enough" ?? I would hold off on the projects until he is more able to do them without causing you undo frustration.

either that or make it a science project. When he mixes colors to make a muddy brown/black, get interested in the fact that mixing them changes the colors, and see what happens when you mix only 2 of them -- like red and yellow, blue and green, blue and yellow, red and blue.

Your son is only 4 years old, and you seem to want him to be 8 or 9. He'll get there, but you need to wait for him to get there. Look for things he is good at, and celebrate those things, rather than planning to make gifts that he is not good at making to your satisfaction. If you want them to look as if you made them, then do it yourself, rather than frustrate him because he doesn't have the same skill set.

I think you expectations are to high ..yuor family will only care he made them for him..he will get it it may not be his thing..id worry about more important things like he is a good kid ,kind all in all what does it matter