S.G. asks from Fayetteville, NC on June 15, 2009
Ah, 5 Month Old Help
Hello Moms,
I have a 5 month old baby boy, and he's a bundle of joy. Our pediatrician said that we could start him on baby foods and gradually work up to stage 2. Today, i changed my son's diaper, twice and his bowel movements were hard! I asked my father if that was normal, because it didnt seem normal. I feel like my son is constipated and can't get his poop out. Somedays, it's mushy like it's suppose to be, and then other days, its kinda both. I also give him baby juice, 2 oz of juice with room temperature water 2 oz of that .. Also, i feel like my son doesn't really like me. I know im probably exaggerating,but, every time he screams or cries, my dad comes in and picks him up and comforts him. i try to do that, but he still screams with me. How do i comfort him? I have never, hurt my child or got mad at him. He's a good baby. I keep telling myself it's the teeth, because he is teething and i give him baby orajel for his teeth, so i thought that would help. Again, i just feel like im a downer. Has anyone been through this? I dont feed him baby food everyday, but i feel like im a downer and im doing something wrong. Im afraid to go to my neighbors and ask them because i feel like they'll look at me as an idiot :( please help me!
Featured Answers
J.H. answers from Philadelphia on June 16, 2009
Just a quick note on the soothing thing. You may want to try baby massage. I did it with both my kids every night to calm them before bed and after baths (to work in some lotion).
Dim lights, soft music and some lotion works for babies and adults! You can go online for some quick pointers. It just takes about 5min and there is a calmness and connection there. It also helps them developmentally!
Good luck! You guys will be just fine!
J.D. answers from Pittsburgh on June 16, 2009
Hi, Selena,
My nephew went through the same thing, and his mom added two or three tablespoons of water to the solids to make them less thick. She says that loosened the stool a little. Don't worry, lots of babies go through the constipation when solids are introduced. Their digestive systems have a lot of adjusting to go through.
And baby orajel is very temporary. Give baby Tylenol for his pain.
Hope this helps!
More Answers
E.F. answers from Pittsburgh on June 16, 2009
As the other moms have said, changes in poop consistency (and constipation) are normal when you introduce solids. Up the fluid, and try to give fruits. I'm not a huge fan of juice, but it will help if they are constipated. A warm bath does too, but sometimes that is a HUGE mess. :-)
If you continue to feel "like a downer" I want you to call your peditrician or your OB and ask for a Postpartum Depression screening. PPD can hit anytime in the first year, and can really make things tough. As a nursing student, I don't have to tell you that it is a serious condition, and just happens to some people. So if you aren't feeling better in a day or two, check in with a doctor.
Good luck, sweetie.
1 mom found this helpful
J.D. answers from Philadelphia on June 15, 2009
my kids HATED baby orajel, and if it's anything like the adult version, it probably doesn't work (never did for me!). try Hylands teething tablets... they were a life saver for me!!!! you can find them in the baby section of drugstores, and walmart and target have them too. My girls also liked teething pacifiers... i've seen those at CVS and Walmart.
what kind of juice are you using? I had the best luck with Gerber's pear juice, i don't know why. My daughter's BM's were also very hard after she started on cereal.
Don't be so hard on yourself!
A.C. answers from Pittsburgh on June 16, 2009
try baby foods:
pears, prunes, plums, oatmeal are less constipating
apples, bananas, rice cereal are constipating
see if that helps, if it doesnt you may need to call your pediatritan and get supositories to help him.
M.L. answers from Pittsburgh on June 18, 2009
Im sorry youre having a rough time, have you tried feeding him prunes for constipation? If youre desperate you can try to take a rectal temperature with loads of vasaline to help too. My son started teething early too and it took a long time before we saw any teeth. I found that the best teether was a washcloth folded up with water on one corner and stuck it in the freezer for alittle while. I think every new mom feels inadequate from time to time, hang in there. As for your dad being able to comfort him- thats probably just experience and confidence- which youll have soon ;)
Feel free to ask me any qs that youd be embarrassed to ask in public ;)
R.C. answers from Pittsburgh on June 19, 2009
Don't put yourself down! It is apparent you care greatly for your little one! I think we've all felt like we weren't the one our little ones liked the most...I feel that way everytime my kids see my mother-in-law. But then, after a few days they only want me again, so sometimes they just need someone else's touch. He may just like the sound of a man's voice and since he feels safe with your dad...it works. My daughter always calmed when my husband spoke to her, but when they are hurt they only want me! We may not be able to sooth every upset moment but we have our times too. When my daughter was little, I could have sworn she hated me, but she didn't. She's now 4 and she tells everyone that we are best friends. We fight like cats and dogs sometimes, but she loves me and I love her...we are just either too much alike or too different, I still haven't decided which, hehe! Either way, don't beat yourself up...you are his mom and he knows it. It sounds to me like you are doing a great job. I know it is hard, but just don't take it personally, both my kids have their moments that I can't do anything with them, but in the end they always come back to me! Take care of yourself and that little one and stop putting yourself down!
Oh, sorry I forgot to give my thoughts on the poop issue. My son who is now 8 months old also has had trouble adjusting to real food rather than formula. My mom has always told me to give the kids about a teaspoon to a tablespoon of dark Karo syrup or the generic dark corn syrup. It always helps, however since my sons tummy is a little more sensitive I use the light corn syrup for him. My daughter has never had trouble so I use the dark for her. They both seem to do the job, I hope this helps.
F.B. answers from Harrisburg on June 15, 2009
My heart goes out to you.
First, the BMs....This is normal. Every child goes through this. Giving juice to your child is good. However, because every child is different, the juice you are using may not be enough. You could try increasing the amount of juice you give him. Or, try switching to a different kind of juice. The more fibrous the juice the better. My youngest child wouldn't respond to anything other than plum juice. I didn't use the baby juices, they never worked for any of me kids. I just used regular juices and experimented with the amount until I found the right kind of juice and the correct amount.
Second, you are not a downer. Many mothers go through periods were is seems that their child will just cry and cry. It can seem that you can't do anything right. Then, when someone else comes along and can instantly calm him down, it makes you feel even worse. First and foremost, you need to relax. Don't take it personally. Your baby can sense your frustration and will act on that. Your child does not hate you. This is the period of unconditional love. Find something to help you relax. If you can, take quick naps whenever your child is sleeping. Any of the "housework" can wait. You are of no use to your child if you are too exhausted. You need to take care of yourself so that you are refreshed to take care of your child.
A baby cries when they need or want something. The checklist I used is first to check the diaper. Then I would check to see if my child was hungry. Then I would check for a fever. If there is no fever but the cry sounds like he might be in pain, it could be a headache and giving a little dose of Tylenol might help. Keep in mind when trying to figure out why your child is crying that sometimes babies just want to be comforted. Even though he cries when you hold him, keep holding him. Sing or hum a song, tell him a story....hearing your calm, relaxed voice will eventually calm him down. Turn the TV on if you have to for some noise. You never know what will help.
D.P. answers from Pittsburgh on June 15, 2009
S.,
I think most moms (regardless of their age) feel as you do. I was 39 when I had my son and I felt the same way sometimes!
Perhaps the reason your baby is responding more positively to your dad is because he is more confident and less stressed when Adreon cries. He has more experience with babies--even though YOU are THIS particular babies' mom. :-) You're lucky to have great support to help you out. It's OK to let your dad help. Try to remain calm when the baby is upset. I think they pick up on stress levels, no matter their age.
Try the "sway", the rock side to side, the "swing left to right", try making low "shush shush shush" sounds, walk with him, talk to him, pointing out things in the house: a mirror, a lamp, a plant, etc. It might distract him enough to calm him down. There is no ONE thing that works for every bay. You will try out different things and find out what works with YOUR baby!
As for the juice, what I was always told is to try pear juice. Or white grape juice. But the pear always worked best for me. Dilute it half with water, like you are. Also, not sure the foods he's eating, but certain foods can be constipating: bananas, even applesauce.....is there a pattern there?
Never feel stupid for asking questions and never feel like an idiot for calling the nurse at your pediatrician's office! That's why they're there! Do you have "What to Expect The First Year"? An excellent book that will really help you out if you don't have it already.
Try the Hyland's teething tablets. For the Baby Orajel to work, you have to get it EXACTLY ( a tiny bit) on the spot that's hurting him and that's about impossible. It can also numb their throat if you use too much and they can choke/gag/etc.
Try wetting, folding and freezing a few baby washcloths and pop them in the freezer in a ziplock bag. Let him chew on those, it will help his gums.
Good luck, Sweetie, you're NOT a downer. You're doing an awesome job as a new, young mom. Remember, motherhood is a learned thing--over time--it's not automatic knowledge as soon as the baby is born and anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar! Hang tough kiddo!
A.S. answers from Pittsburgh on June 17, 2009
You've got so many good replies, I didn't really need to reply as well, but I couldn't help myself, as your message really spoke to me. I think you've got enough on the poop, so I'll concentrate on how you are feeling.
I was 32 before I had my son, and because I developed health problems related to the pregnancy, I sometimes worry that I don't have enough energy and think maybe I shouldn't have waited so long to have kids!! So, I guess the moral of this story is that no matter what we do, we can't really win! There are so many different benefits to being young, and there are obviously a lot of challenges.
There unfortunately seems to be a bit of a stigma about really young mums, but I think its often out of fear or ignorance. Those people who judge us, no matter what they judge us for (not being good looking or successful or religious or whatever enough) are just reacting to the pressures of their own lives. Its not their fault that they don't understand people who are different, but that's just it - they don't get it, and they may never. I know its really hard, but know that they are not the law! They don't get to decide what you do with your life or how you feel about yourself, your son, your wonderful family and the world - you do!
The fact that you aren't super confident with your baby is probably what he's sometimes reacting to. I think most mums have been through similar times, wondering what's going on and so you are not alone in this, nor do these feelings necessarily mean that you are depressed! (although its not the end of the world if you do feel as though you might be truly depressed, as there is excellent help available now, and its nothing to be ashamed of)
Might I suggest that you try this simple imagery technique a few times to see what happens? Just before you bend down to get him, think about the most lovely moment you've spent with him recently, or the cutest photo of him, or just something that you adore about him and you'll probably feel a smile coming to your lips, and the warmth spreading through your heart. It might be good to practice this a few times when he isn't crying or when you aren't around your son. Once you've got the hang of tapping into your loving feelings, give it a try when he's crying sometime. Ask your Dad to let you try and comfort him. With this smile on your face and in your heart, the love that comes from you will encompass him and he will almost definitely respond!
You've probably already realized this yourself - children and babies are incredibly sensitive to our moods - I have a tendency to be stressed, and my son picks it up in an instant, and has trouble getting to sleep when I feel stressed. I've been working on using the same technique when I'm trying to put him to sleep etc., and its really helping.
Good luck, and know you've got all the support of all of these people on this site who know you will get through this, and have a wonderful relationship with your son. He's so lucky to have a good relationship with your dad as well!!!
Feel free to send me a message if you'd like any further info on all of this.
Namaste,
A.
P.S. You haven't mentioned your mom, do let me know if you'd like to email any more about this or anything.
Email