Aggressive Schizophenic BIL

M.,

You have to protect YOUR babies at all times. Do not hesitate to call the police or 911 immediately when he is out of control. He should have never had the opportunity to hurt your 3 month old or even attempt to kick your 4 year old daughter. That is outrageous and to think that you are afraid to call the cops? Please, protect your kids and push your fears aside. This man is dangerous. Whether he is family or not, mental health issues or not, he is a danger to you, your children and society. Please protect your kids and call the police when he gets out of hand. In the mean time, start searching for another place for you to live. Or even better, find him a home that will take him and a place where he will be safe from hurting himself or others.

As for MIL, if she won't call the police---You need to. Your children are more important than her feelings about it or anyone else's. Its time to stand up for your children and show them this isn't right and you WONT tolerate it ANYMORE! Best wishes and I hope you get the help that your family needs.

M

Why are you around him? Keep yourself and your family away. If I heard anything else regarding him being aggressive to my inlaws I would call the authorities and let them know about previous attacks as well as whatever was currently taking place. That's ridiculous. He is still accountable for his actions.

If your husband wants to be around him or feels he needs to that is one thing. You and your children should not under any circumstances be around him! He shouldn't be allowed at your house and you should only visit your MIL when he is not there. Even Holidays!

A few questions:
1. Do you live with your husband's family?
If so, you need to get out fast.
2. Does your BIL take meds for his schizophrenia?
3. Does he take his medication?
4. Is he under a doctor's care?

If you ever feel someone is in physical danger, I would not hesitate to call 9-1-1.

Do you all live together? If not, then I suggest keeping your distance. I do not say this lightly, as my own brother is also schizophrenic, but you have to do what is best for your children. If your MIL lives with him, she may need to have him removed from her home. Has she called the police when attacked? Has he ever been committed?

We had to have my brother committed when he attacked my dad. It was a very sad process, but we had to keep my parents safe. He is much better now, as he was in the hospital long enough for them to figure out the correct mix of medication. Even though my brother is so much better, we limit the amount of time he spends with my kids (we live far away), and he never spends the night here when they come to visit us.

I'm sorry, but the first time he raised a hand to me or kicked at my child, the cops would have been called...there wouldn't be any "I don't want to call the cops..." Oh h#ll no! It would be "Hello? 911? Send the police to XXXXX my BIL just tried to hit me while I was holding my child then tried to kick my older child."

Actually, it would be more like "Send an ambulance because my BIL just swung at me while I was holding my child and then tried to kick my other child, so I beat him." By not calling the police and allowing your children to abused like this, you're telling them that this behavior is ok and it's ok for people to treat them like this.

Is that the message you want your children growing up with?

Wow, why would you want for your children to grow up experiencing this? Don't you have your family or close friends where you can move until they (MIL and hubby) decide what to do with this sick man? People like him should be monitored in appropriate institutions, not certainly be left around. Aren't you afraid your children will pick up on the horrendous environment? Children need a safe place to live and an emotionally tranquil household, they have neither if you keep living with these people. I would do whatever necessary for me and my children to leave asap!

Sounds like its time to place him in a group home before he really looses his temper and someone ends up in the ER or in the case of your MIL in the hospital for an overnight stay. This needs to be a family discussion and probably without BIL at first since it sounds like your MIL has (or should have) guardianship of him. You might include him when you've narrowed the choices to two places that you think will best for him. BIL's doctors will probably be able to give recommendations and such.

As far as you and the kids, limit contact. When the kids are around him, keep the visit to a brief period of time.
Best wishes!

I understand that you say its not possible to move but I don't think you have a choice. I don't know how you limit your daughter's time around her uncle when you all live together. This is dangerous and a big mess. Have your MIL talked to her son's doctor? This all needs to be addressed ASAP.

I hate to say it, but you need to call the police next time he becomes violent towards you or your husband. My husband's family had to do this when his older brother started showing signs of being schizophrenic and became violent; it is sad but really there is nothing else you can do. If he is seeing a psychologist and on medications yet still becomes violent, then the only other thing you can do is call the police. And if you live in the same house as him, leave as soon as you possibly can.

You could also try to find any support groups in the area for families who have loved ones with schizophrenia and try to get advice from them, or your local community mental health clinic. But ultimately, if he is violent towards you and in front of your children, you have to call the police. Good luck.

You need to call the police... looks like he may need to go to a group home or another permanent mental facility.

Don't NOT call the cops just because the MIL refuses too, it is YOUR children in danger.

All right, your brother-in-law may be on medications for the schizophrenia but if he's still violent and having these problems frequently then the meds aren't working or they're not at a therapeutic level. If your mother-in-law is his legal guardian then she needs to step up and have him evaluated at an in-patient center. She can have him committed if she's the legal guardian. Depending on his age (if he's a minor) you could even call CPS to see if there's something to be done.

The Asperger's Disorder wouldn't cause all of this, and it's not a disease, just so you're aware. Autism is a neurological disorder.

You do have a choice, by the way. You need to get out of there. Finances are an excuse in a situation like this.

If you still insist that you "can't" get out then you are obligated to call the police if you're being attacked or if anyone else is being attacked. The fact that children live in that house obligates you or you're endangering their welfare. This isn't the time to be subtle or trying to avoid drama or saving face. You're living with a violent schizophrenic. You have to be proactive.

You are endangering your children and your MIL and husband are enabling him.

Call the cops and get him into a group home. He has no business around your children.

Can he be in a group home or facility???

He is a danger to all.
He can't be controlled.
You and your kids are at risk... of major harm.
He is unpredictable.
This is even more dangerous.

He needs, to not be there.

Wow, that is a miserable situation. Not a whole lot you can do except keep you and your kids away from him. What does you husband do about it, he allows his brother to hit and kick you and his girls??? I would talk with your husband and make a plan to save up and get out of there ASAP. Yes, call the cops the next time he is physical. Don't wait for someone else to do it or for something really bad to happen.

You need to move out. Or he needs to move into a center. You have to protect your family. You can make it work to move out but it might mean living with roommates. Not ideal but it's better to be safe. Please find a way to move out.