Age Appropriate Chores

Our kids are 8 and 10 and we've had them doing "chores" since they were very young and first expressed a desire to be helpful. And we're not the only parents in our area like this. It was actually with the advice of several parents of multiples that encouraged us to implement it as habit - that the family always helps the family with things. That's what families do. Not only that, but you learn quickly as a military (guard) family that the family must survive and make it together by pulling together and everyone pitching in. There is no other (sane) way to function.

Kids love to help when they are young and we encouraged them to participate. Little things like helping to fold a few dish cloths, helping to sort colors in laundry, keeping a special cabinet down low where all the plastic “safe” dishes could go right out of the dishwasher and into. And we did these "chores" together. These are all things that help expand the habits necessary for children to learn to be organized and learn what it means to use, maintain and put things away in the place it is stored in. Such routines are important. It helps them to see that in order to have clean dishes to cook and eat with, someone must wash them, etc.. It helps them to learn to organize time as well. Chores are part of learning essential life skills and foster responsibility and a balanced and healthy community.

We're careful about assigning chores according to ability and within reason according to schedules, etc.. But every day my kids have at least one family type chore to do, besides their homework, their stuff and their room. Some days more. I work from home and each of the kids have extra activities. We all have to pitch in to make it work. These usually involve parts of daily needs, like unload the dishwasher, scoop the litter box, take out the trash or help sort a load of laundry. We are very busy with our days, so we don't demand a lot all at once, tending to break up the family chores into steps that can be completed in bites. But we do absolutely expect everyone to pitch in.

We do not pay for essential responsibilities. We do give small allowances, but they are not tied to chores. Kids need money to work with to learn to manage it. However they cannot receive it if responsibilities have not been met, etc.. But we also provide the option to earn a little extra money by stepping above and beyond when they have extra time as well. Again, only if regular responsibilities, chores and all homework are done.

At this age there is little that is not appropriate for chores as they enter the last half of their childhood at home. Cutting back the amount of time or energy spent can be appropriate depending on your child and their schedule. Due to our general family schedule, we tend to divide things like laundry and dishes into steps. This makes it easier for younger kids as well as adults. The job gets done, but more than one person is usually involved with the steps. We also emphasize that the title of Mom does not equal that of slave, maid, waitress or pack mule. Neither does Dad.

I will tell you from experience that I am grateful to my mother for assigning us chores as kids. I went to college with friends who did not know how to wash or iron their clothes, how to cook a meal or how to sew a button on. My mother, on the other hand, was not taught any of these skills. When she started out as a mother, she didn't know where to start first. And she turned to the local home extension office and other women to learn. She made us kids learn right along with her. Even my brother learned to cook and sew. And even if we didn't always understand then, we have always been appreciative as adults, as others around us were virtually handicapped or held back in life because they never gained basic essential life skills from their parents. As one friend of mine cried: "How can I possibly handle laundry, homework and a job!" Gee, I don't know. I did just fine. For me, it was nothing but life as usual. For her, it was a monster she'd never faced until she left home.

Hope this helps you feel confident that you are doing the right thing. The kids aren’t suffering a bit and no, you’re really NOT the only parent who thinks chores are essential to child rearing and family function.

Blessings…

shhhhhh don't tell my four year old others don't have chores. He thinks its' Normal... hahaha
He has been putting his clothes in a hamper since 18 months. He helps carry in groceries and helps me with so many things. Of course, it takes coaxing now and then, especially the putting away toys part.

Honestly. IMHO, your twelve year old could do everything from making his own bed to stocking the pantry, helping with yardwork, loading dishwsher, clearing table, etc. Your nine year old could do a lot of it too.

I think you are a ROCKIN mom... I mean, you are doing the right thing!

My daughter is three and she has a chore chart as well. nothing too difficult but fairly chosen according to her age and enjoyments.
she feeds the cat every night. She puts her plastic dishes in the sink after dinner and she brushes her teeth every night after dinner without needing reminding (I still brush her teeth in the morning because she is still 1/2 asleep. If she spills her drink she cleans it up (of course when she is not looking I clean it again, lol)
Here is a site I found that helped me with decisions on chores and what is appropriate to expect....

http://www.printablechecklists.com/checklist11.shtml

http://www.supernannyrules.com/age-appropriate-chores/

http://www.growingkids.co.uk/AgeAppropriateChores.html

http://life.familyeducation.com/allowance/jobs-and-chores...

There are tons more but these are the ones I think I used - reading through them and finding what worked with our home life and day to day routine....

good luck - personally I find chores teach our children rather then hinder them.... I am glad to see that there are more parents who believe in teaching these responsibilities and values....

chores are an excellent way to teach responsibility. By this age I would say that putting away their own laundry, keeping their rooms clean and some other small chores like taking out the trash, setting and clearing the table, feeding pets, etc are appropriate. Doing chores is part of being a family member and I feel like allowance is a separate deal. Allowances teach responsible spending and how to make choices. Give them a reasonable amount and let them know what they are expected to do with it. Is it just "mall money" or do you want to pay for their school lunches or put some in savings or give some to church or charity? Be very clear about what it is for and then monitor their choices. When they are being responsible and show ability increase the amount, but also increase their demands. Getting them used to living on a budget and paying their own way will hopefully prepare them for when they are out on their own. Forget what the other parents are doing. It is your job to prepare your children for the real world, not give in to what others may or may not be doing. they may gripe now, but they will thank you for it later!

My 12 yr old son can do just about anything. Currently, he is in charge of dishes and kitchen clean up after dinner. He also cleans and fills the cat litter box. Of course, keeps his own room clean, and spot cleans the hall bathroom when needed.
We are a family of 6, and it's required that everyone pitch in! My 8 year old daughter handles recycling containers, etc and cleans her room. She also cleans the tv screens and computer monitors.
Here is a great site to help divide the chores: www.chorebuster.net

My son is almost 11 yrs. and he has to take out trash and feed the dog. Of course his bedroom and bathroom are his responsibility too, but as far as chores that aren't directly his messes, that is what it is. Since I stay at home there is not alot left to do, but taking out the trash is one thing I don't do-I guess bc I had brothers. I think one or two extra things around the house besides their own room is ok for this age. A good example is maybe for a boy, doing the trash and a girl, loading or emptying diahwasher. Hope this helps.

When I was growing up we had saturday chores such as cleaning bathroom or vacuuming the living room plus the responsibility of keeping our rooms clean and cleaning up after ourselves. I started doing chores like this at age 7 or 8. In my husband's family, when they were growing up, made a list together of all the chores that needed to be done including "mom" chores like fixing dinner and laundry. Then they took turns selecting chores they wanted to do until all the chores were taken. I like this approach because it helps the kids really get a feel for what is required to keep a house clean and it allows them to feel that they have control since they get to pick the chores they want to do, plus it will give you an idea of what they feel they are capable of doing. You can also let them choose when to do the chore as long as it accomplished by a certain time like the end of the week. I think children are always more willing to help out when the feel like they have control over the situation rather than being told what to do and when to do it. I really like this technique and plan on using it when my children get to be a little older (both are under 2 years).
In both families chores were responsibilities of people living in the house so no one was paid for them. However, payment could be negotiated for doing extra chores like cleaning out the gargage.
I hope this helps.

I have not started giving allowance yet because I'm not sure how much to give. As far as chores they do most of them on the weekends. They are both girls and are 9 and 5. Their weekend chores consist of folding laundry, sorting socks, cleaning their bathroom, cleaning their bedrooms, etc. During the week my 5 year old is in charge of taking the trash can out to the alley for pick up and then bringing it back into the garage. They take turns setting the table for dinner and helping me unload and load the dishwasher.

I am a huge believer in chores. My two year old has chores. Crazy but true. She feeds the dog ever morning and every evening. Now while she loves her chores, my 14 year old and 11 year old are bears about their chores. Here is what I tell them:

Ever person is part of many communities. Within each community there are obligations and responsibilities which make you able to be a productive citizen. In our home community they are expected to participate in making our lives better. So they have chores.

Since they were 7 they were expected to make their bed each morning, tidy their room, make and clean up after their breakfast (I moved easy to make breakfast items and bowls etc. to locations easy for them. I even got milk that was small and easy to open so they could do it all themselves). They were also expected to get themselves dressed and be ready to leave for school with backpack ready on time. At that age they got stars on a worksheet for completed tasks. Not at 11 and 14 they are expected to complete these tasks w/o reminders and if they don't then no screen time after school (computer, tv, cell phone, ipod etc.)

When they were younger these tasks were so important because it gave them a sense of worth AND ability to take care of themselves. Breakfast is way yummier when you make it yourself. My son mad himself eggs for the first time this morning and LOVED them.

I don't pay them. I don't get paid for chores. Bribing takes away from their sence of belonging and worth within our community.

Hope this helps.

BTW they also have evening and weekly chores too. Trash, recycling, setting table and dishes. All life skills they will need some day.