Afraid of Losing Bond with My Son

Just enjoy the time you have with him. Let him know how much you love him.. and have fun. You won't be in school forever. So enjoy the time you have.. and make it count when you are with him. School will go fast.. Good luck.. and give you baby lots of kisses and hugs and laughter.

Hi C.,
I'm in a similar situation as you are, and I totally understand how you feel! The best thing I can tell you is to give your son whatever time you possibly can. He's 18 months so your activities don't have to be elaborate or last a long time. Play simple games together, sing songs (Wheels on the Bus is always a favorite), read books together, do art or play-dough, go for a walk. Don't worry so much about losing your bond - you are Mommy and no one can take your place! Be sure to communicate with your husband about the shift in household and caregiving responsibilities. And take some time (even 15 minutes) for yourself too! If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!
Best of luck!

I know its difficult, but sometimes we have to make sacrifices for the betterment of our families. My husband also worked full time and then went to cosmetology school 4 nights out of the week. Eventhough it was hard, it was the best decision we made. The schooling went by pretty quick and the kids survived as did I. :) Time doesn't wait for you. Do your schooling, it will provide you with a better sense of self and in turn, becoming a better mommy! Congrats on going school! You won't regret it!

Remember- Quality of time is much more important than quantity. Children do not perceive time in the same way adults do. They can not tell time and follow our cues and our schedules. He will have no memory of you being out of the house. The memory/feeling he will have will be of the love that you both share.

Dear C.:

You are going to be away for good part of the day. The only way to keep that closeness with your son is to make sure that in the mornings you give him all your love. Talk with him, include him in your morning activities. What ever you can to build a routine with him. Once the 10 months are over, maybe more time will come for you. Don't get discourage! He is young and if you pour out your heart and love, he will feel your closeness.

M.

Hi C.
I fully understand your concerns with this. My suggestion to you is to give your son a photo of you and him, so that he can have you with him while you are in school. Also, start talking to him about how mommy has to go to school. He's old enough to comprehend things at this age, if you break it down to be age appropriate. It's hard leaving our children for any amount of time, but if your remain calm and positive, then most likely your son will be the same way. Best wishes on your endeavors and I hope this can help.

Hi C.. I went through this myself.. I went to Nursing school when my sons were 3 and 4 months. It is incredibly difficult and hard but like you said you are doing this for you and your son. It's only 10 months. It is so much easier to do it now while he is little because as they get older they get involved in more activities that you could be missing. I wouldn't worry about the bond between you. he is 18 months and knows his mommy!!! Do your best to spend as much time with him as possible, even if it means rearranging his schedule a bit so that he wakes up earlier in the morning so you can have breakfast with him, then make that your big meal as a family....
You will be amazed how fast school will go and how your son will adjust jsut fine to you going to school.. good luck!!!

while I"m a big advocate of "raising my own child" not letting the daycares, etc do it... be assured that there are plenty of parents that are forced to work full time after the first 8 weeks, and they do just fine. It's about the quality of time when you are together!! You're school schedule is short term. While on one hand maybe he's a bit young, on the other it's not forever. Just be sure your choice of programs is going to make you enough $ on the flip side to make that time away worthwhile. Cosmetology can be great if you do it right and hit the right location, but alot of the time it will be fun for awhile then you'll want to do something else because it's not as stable. Are you just going to school, or work + school? Either way he'll be okay, but if you're doing JUST school that's alot less than the 30hrs you were working, so it's even better.

Good Luck to you! He'll be okay.

Hi C., when I was a child my mother was not around because she was always working to take care of my sister and I. She had no choice because my dad was not around and her mother had passed away. To this day, I am sorry my mom was not there. I feel as if my sister and I raised ourselves. I think right now, your baby and your husband need you. Is it possible you could do this part-time? You will not only risk the bond with your child, but with your husband. Even though he may be supportive now, it will be a lot of pressure on both of you. Also, it isn't just about the classes; you will also have homework and study time. I say, focus on motherhood now and go to school when your child is in school. God bless you and good luck whatever you decide to do. You are surely lucky to have such a wonderful husband who is willing to step-up and help out. V.

Hi C.,

I was where you are at right now. My daughter is now 5 and we are sooooo.... close! I went back to school and she spent most of her awake hours with my husband. The encouraging thing is that your son has already passed his attachment phase. In other words, he has already solidified a bond with you. I like all of the suggestions that you have gotten. The time that you do spend with him, make sure that you are not just physically present, but emotionally there as well. I remember being so tired, but having to pray for a second wind all of the time. Stay strong, your sacrifice is to better your family.
Be well,
D.

Its sooo hard. I've been working full time since my son was 10 weeks old. Give him lots of hugs and kisses and just try and give him your undivided attention when you are home with him...My son is over 2 years old now and I don't feel that we aren't close at all - if anything I wonder if I didn't baby him TO MUCH - LOL but who cares...they are only young once. We have to do what we have to do and that doesn't mean we don't love our children less than someone who is home all the time with theirs - and it doesn't mean that those women are closer with their children then you will be - just give him all you've got - no matter how tired you are from your busy schedule...he'll feel your love and will be bonding with you.