Afraid My 4 Yr Old Is Going to Be Crushed :(

Updated on July 30, 2011
J.B. asks from Marrero, LA
15 answers

Hey mamas,
Well my oldest who just turned 4 recently started martial arts with his daddy. He LOVES it! Normally they don't start them up till 5 but my hubby is a black belt and had been at that school for awhile so his instructor took our son younger. Well last night the instructor tells my hubby that after Saturday, that's it, he is closing the school. :( There are other schools, but I seriously doubt they would take my little boy at 4 bc they don't know us and bc they are bigger with more children. So how do I tell my little boy he has to wait a year? He really identifies with being a martial artist. Plus it was something special to do with daddy. I did find a local gymnastics club that isn't too expensive that has a class for 4 year olds and I was going to tell him that his school closed, but he can go to a new school after his next bday and until then he is going to take an awesome gymnastics class to help him prepare. Does that sound good, any ideas would be great......I just feel so bad for my little man.....

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D.K.

answers from Sioux City on

Believe me you are more crushed than he will be. As a mother of 4, I have learned over the years that kids are quick to bounce back. Put the right spin on it and all will be fine. Tell him until he is five he will take gymnastics because it will help him to train his body so that once he can go back to martial arts he will be even more flexible. If you present it matter of fact like he will think it isn't quite as big of deal but if you are to drama about it, he will be emotional too. Good luck.

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K.C.

answers from St. Louis on

Since Dad is a black belt why don't u by a mat and have dad teach him till he's 5? Or have dad take him to the park and do it there?

7 moms found this helpful

M.M.

answers from Tampa on

Why can't your husband teach him once a week at home?

Many martial arts have a young kids program... I'd keep looking around. IN the meantime, have Daddy teach him at home.

3 moms found this helpful

M.B.

answers from Orlando on

I think that's a great idea! And why not still have your husband train with him? That was he can still do the fun stuff with daddy :)

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I agree with Dana that 4 year-olds are rarely "crushed" about anything. Life is still too new and exciting and they move on quickly.

My Karate school will take 4 year-olds, especially since he has been training already. I would check different schools in your area before you say anything to him.

If they won't take him, have his Dad work with him at home. And yes, start him in something new to keep him busy until he is 5.

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L.W.

answers from Phoenix on

There are probably some karate schools who have a class for the younger ages. My hubby is also a black belt. At the school he takes/teaches karate, they have a class called "Little Dragons" where the age range is 4-6.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

Don't assume they won't take him. Start making some calls. Most places take kids at about 3. You just need to ask around.

If you can't find a place to go, have daddy teach him once or twice a week. But set a schedule and stick to it.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

They are resilient at this age, and every Karate school near us takes 4 year olds. Before you get upset, just look for another school or activity.

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A.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Just tell him the facts. The studio is closing, and the other ones won't let you in until you're 5. If it's any consolation, studies have shown that people who endure some hardship in life while growing up, are actually happier and more successful as adults; while people who have it easy their whole childhood fare worse as adults.

So, occasional letdowns are a good thing. A year will fly by, and then it will be SUPER special when he gets to return to martial arts with dad.

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

My friends own a Karate studio & they take kids younger than 5. Not sure what your area is like, but I agree with the others - call around before you tell him the bad news.

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

?

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

You're doing the right thing to put him into the gymnastics class for now, and the way you are thinking of expressing it to him sounds very good.

Don't let him see your own disappointment, though. He will quickly pick up on it and decide he's upset and disappointed too. You may find you feel worse about this than he really does -- kids at 4 sometimes just move on. You may be surprised at how readily he might say "OK, that sounds fine" and carry on. I wouldn't try at this age to shop around and ask schools to take him at four; that would be a lot of work for what sounds like just further disappointment for you, and he'd be aware of it.

He may end up identifying himself as a gymnast rather than, or in addition to, a martial artist. Four is really young for our kids to be fixed on a single activity anyway, so variety is good right now. By age five he may want to do soccer or swimming along with martial arts too -- encourage him to try different things.

As for having dad teach him in the coming year -- maybe some forms etc., but I'd be concerned that if dad taught him a lot, then when your son enters a new martial arts class with other kids at age five, he's doing things that either are more advanced than the class (and gets bored and frustrated) or doing things in a different style from what the class teacher wants (and he'll be constantly corrected and get frustrated). I might let the future teacher do that job and just have dad encouraging him in gymnastics etc. but hold off on too much "teaching" by dad unless he's used to working with and training young kids in his martial art.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

I would call around to the other schools before telling your son anything! I would also ask the instructor if he could recommend a place for your son to attend OR if he would be willing to be a "reference" for your son. They may have a solid policy or it may be a "rule of thumb" in which case if your son meets their other criteria AND has had a successful experience previously, they may bend on it.

If they can't... then your idea sounds good. I would also suggest that dad set aside time weekly to work with him so that he keeps his skills and interest up!

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I would also tell him that dad will be doing the workouts with him even though the school isn't there. Just because it's closing does not mean dad has to drop his training. Plus, maybe there is one that will take him after hearing the story.

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Ditto what Rosebud said, we can't and shouldn't protect our little ones from all disappointments in life, they can actually grow in maturity because of them And do check out other schools in your area as others have suggested, you may be pleasantly surprised! Where my nephew takes Tae Kwon Do classes they accept children as young as 3, there's a little girl there that blows me away with what she can do ; )

If no school will truly take him until he's 5, ask him if there's something else he'd like to do while he waits until next year, a sport or other type of class. And since Dad's a black belt he can continue to teach him and show him what he knows.

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