Advice on What to Do About a Paper I Was Made to Sign by the Father of My Child

Hi J., your first mistake was signing the paper work. you just gave him the power he wanted.and you do not have to sign any paper work about a trust fund for your child unless you are the one who is setting it up. if i were you i would talk to an attorney. ask around for a good attorney i know you said you dont have any money but look in the phone book and look under family law and find one who does a consultation for free to see if you have a case.just to make sure all the paper work is in order hopefully you asked him for copies of what you just signed and that he does not have any secret clause in there. if you dont have copies get them.immediatly as for help you need to reach out to your family ask them for help to get back home immediately. you can take your daughter. then i would do next go file for child support.if you have to go on public assistance then do so until you can get everything together you need some sort of income now. I am worried because you signed papers stating he has legal custody. has it been determined he is the father by court? even though it was in-vitro.he is going to play dirty if he has to if he is manipulative like you say.he and his lover might decide they want to raise the baby you never know.i would be protecting you and your child.just because how things are done now a days with the opposite spouse especially if he is so manipulative.have your family send a bus ticket or airline ticket but get back to your family but i would not tell him but that's my opinion. just because how he already lied about the trust fund.I would be getting on the phone with my family and tell them everything you have told us and get help from them. good luck let us know the out come.I hope i helped a little but it just my opion.~L.~

3 moms found this helpful

This is a very bad situation. As much as you love to be home with your daughter, it sounds like you really need to get a job and find a great babysitter for her. You need to go and apply for Welfare...Food Stamps, Childcare Assistance, Medical, Etc.

DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING that you have not shown a good friend/relative/lawyer or had time to look over yourself for a couple days or so. NEVER FEEL PRESSURE by him to do anything. DO NOT TAKE HIS THREATS. Yes, there are going to be consequences. Probably big ones. It is just not healthy for you or your daughter to be under anyone's manipulation or black-mail. Trust funds are not the most important thing in the world. You are not even guaranteed that she will have one by the time she is old enough to get it. I really wish you did not sign it.

I guess my advice is that you really, really, really need to get a lawyer involved. Your ex knows that you have no money. He knows that you are vulnerable. I hope that there is some kind of family you can seek out for help and strength. You really do need someone to lean on.

If I were your sister, I'd definitely be there for you and your baby!! I'm sad for you. Please pray and try to be safe!

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Ok first off whatever you signed unless it was notorized and you knew what it was it doesnt mean anything. Its illegal for him to say it was one thing and then it was actully another. There are self help law centers for each county you can file for coustdy you have every right to that baby as he does. Call your family in AR ask them to help you move to AR so you can get on your feet as soon as you get ther file for coustdy just becuase hes a manipulative gay man doesnt give him the right to take your baby from you dont let him imtimdate you at all. I hope this helps just be resourceful do it when hes not looking and leave as soon as you can... you can also call womens shelters there are many out there and see if they can take you as well.
Good luck
A.

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You need to get a lawyer right now. If you are in danger you can go to a YWCA. Every courthouse has a facilitator that is free help for legal paperwork. You can call the Northwest Justice Project. They have resources for low income people with legal problems. Listen to what these people tell you to do and do it. Do not wait for him to do anything. You should not be threatened or manipulated by anyone. You do have rights as that childs mother.

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I wouldn't want my kids raised around those kinds of morals. If I were you I would take my kid...and run to AR so the baby has a chance to be around a healthy life style.

1 mom found this helpful

What did this paper say? Was it noterized? Were you corerced?Who has legal custody of the child? Most states still support mothers in matters of the kids. Can you ask your family to send you money for bus fare home? Or ask them to buy the tickets for you? You really need to provide some more information on this "paper" he had you sign.

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I dont see how he can take full custody of her if you have done nothing wrong. No judge will give him custody just because you are a stay at home mom. I stay at home but never have had any fear of if or when me and my husband split, that I wouldnt end up with the kids just because I have no income. The only way the judge would give the baby to him is if you signed away your rights which it sounds like you didnt. good luck.

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WELL, I WORK WITH THE SOCIAL SERVICES OF SANTA CLARA COUNTY. IF YOU HAVE 50/50 CUSTODY I WOULD SUGGEST YOU GET HELP FROM THE COUNTY AS A SINGLE MOM. A LOT OF PARENTS DON'T WANT HELP FROM THE GOVERNMENT BUT SOME PARENTS LIKE IN YOUR CASE REALLY NEED IT. I WOULD SIGN UP FOR WELFARE, GET A LITTLE MONEY IN YOUR POCKETS AND THEY CAN HELP YOU WITH FOOD STAMPS AND CHILD CARE WHICH IS VERYY EXPENSIVE. THEY CAN HELP YOU LOOK FOR A JOB, BUILD YOUR RESUME OR WHAT EVER IT IS YOU NEED TO DO TO HELP YOURSELF GET BACK ON YOUR FEET. THERE ARE CHILD CARE PROVIDERS THAT START TAKING CARE OF CHILDREN FROM WHEN THEY ARE 1 MONTH OLD AND ARE SOME ARE OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK 24 HOURS A DAY. WITH THAT HELP YOU CAN BECOME INDEPENDENT. YOU CAN'T BE ON WELFARE FOR EVER ANYWAY, THERE IS A LIMIT OF 5 YEARS. I WENT THRU THE PROGRAM AND NOW I AM A COLLEGE GRDUATE, DRIVING A MERCEDES, WITH A NICE JOB. YOU CAN DO IT! BUT YOU NEED TO START SOMEWHERE.

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Jamie-
I would suggest that you go onto the internet and look up some "pro bono" (free) lawyers in your area to help you legally sort out your situation. You have gotten yourself into a very difficult situation legally, and no one but someone who knows family law will be able to explain your options to you. The paper that you signed with the father of the child may or may not be legally binding, and it is in the best interests of you and your child that you be aware of what options are open to you if you really are afraid that the father of the child will try anything fishy. Since you share custody of your child, you cannot legally "leave" the state: the father of the child could claim kidnapping, and actually have you arrested!
Find a pro-bono family lawyer as soon as possible if you really are concerned for your safety.

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jamie if i were in your sistution i would tryed to open an account in your name.anld also so ther are programs for you to help you.one is (shalter from the storm)thay also have ( martha villige and kichten) great places to help you get on you feet and fight for your baby.if you like to chat e-mail me anytime !!!! also where are you located???? best of luck to you.every court house has free adive for you sistution.lawyer do give some free advice.jamie please start getting on you feet not just for your self but your baby. if your not married to him so he has no say where you live

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Have one of your family members help you get an attorney. I would work on that now and I would make plans to go to AR!

D

I dont know where you live, but when I was in a sticky situation with my infant son: no money, a psychotic ex after me and my son, I turned to the legal aid office and they helped me so much, in more ways than one. Since you have no income, and no money, it shouldnt be hard for you to get help from them. I wish you all the best, and stay strong!

Dear J. L.,

First you need to calm down, take a breath, Then quietly look through the phone book and make calls to find some legal advice from the local office for people who are low income. Just keep searching and calling County or State offices, they will point you to the right 'department'. It is called the Office of Rural Legal Assistance in some areas.

It looks like the father is being responsible, and maybe he will allow you to go to your family in AR and still support you so that you can take care of the baby properly.

Have you asked him if you need to live with him? Or can he set you up in an apartment of your own?

50/50 isn't a bad thing, you know. But you do need to see an attorney so that he or she can give you true legal information, don't listen to friends. They mean well, but actually do not know the law.

Good Luck, you can do this. C. N.

Don’t run off to AR that would be kidnapping and could make you lose your baby. Have you tried talking to your childs father and telling him how you feel. Start looking for a job. It sounds like he is a good father and would help pay for daycare. Once you get a job you can build your credit and start supporting yourself, which I think will make you feel better about things. If you really want to go to AR you should first try talking to the father and see if there is something you guys can work out. If not get yourself a lawyer and don’t sign anything else. You need to think what is best for your daughter and it sounds like she has a good father that wants to support her and is even willing to support you. Do you really want to take her away from her father?

J.-

In your community there should be a place (like Community Action) where you can get free legal advice. If you were tricked into signing papers under false pretenses, there may be a way to get them voided. But you shouldn't fear having your daughter being taken from you by this man, most courts still favor the child staying with the mother. But look into a place like Community Action or DSHS, they may have people who can help, or at least get you pointed in the right direction.