22 answers

Advice on Texting

Hello All!!!

Thank you for taking the time to read this. My boyfriend has a 15 year old son who is only with us every other weekend. We currently provide his phone for him. In the last month he has racked up 9,000+ texts. Most of them occuring after midnight.

He does have an odd sleep schedule, which I'm guessing is normal for summer time.

I have a problem with the fact that he has that many texts. Not to mention, after we talked to him about this, he sent & received 1,000 texts in a week.

Is this normal for a teenager? Should there be concern?

Any advice that can be given would be appreciated!!!!!

Thank you for helping!!!!

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I think the problem is the time he's texting. Once school starts, his phone may need to be confiscated at a certain time if he's not getting regular sleep.

3 moms found this helpful

Normal..sadly I think it is...most texts run just a few words and they can add up quick. healthy and appropriate NO...I personally HATE texting and the whole process but that is just me. I don't thin any teen needs to have this option

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

sorry - it might be "normal" but it is NOT acceptable!!!

I would take the phone away from him after 10PM...there is no reason on God's green earth for ANYONE to text anyone after midnight. PERIOD.

I would also tell him that he has to start paying for his text plan....even if you have unlimited - 1K texts in one week is, in my opinion, outrageous....my man friend's daughter (he's a man and a friend) his daughter racked up 10K texts in two weeks - she's an honors student, etc. but he and his wife said ENOUGH!!! And told her that she needed to "back off the texts or lose it."

My son's phone does not have text..I blocked it..told him when he wants to pay for it himself - great - if not - too bad.

I would love to read those texts to be honest...I know they are private - but man oh man - it must've been an EMERGENCY (not!) to text that much!!! I may be in the minority here - haven't read other responses - but no fricking way!!!

6 moms found this helpful

Sadly, for a 15 y.o. 10,000 texts is about average in my friends circles. We all have rules about phone calls and texts after certain hours. It is later in the summer and the weekend. If the rules are broken, the phone is taken away. When phone time is over, the phone is turned off, because you can't keep calls or texts from coming in. If grades are not up to par, the phone goes. It's all about being the bad guy sometimes, a.k.a. a parent.

4 moms found this helpful

Totally normal and even low for my 18 year old daughter. We have a family plan for $20 and I don't worry about it. I don't care if she texts after midnight, she doesn't have to get up in the morning and perform cardiac surgery. She's a great kid, works hard and is an honors student. Like T.F. said....she'd not out drinking or partying.

4 moms found this helpful

Sounds normal for a teenager. Every text is like one or two sentences in a phone conversation, it's just that texting for teens and some of us adults has replaced phone calls. If it is causing outrageous phone bills than I'd get a phone plan with unlimited text. I know it's strange to see that high of a number, but I know a lot of people that text instead of call most of the time because it is more convenient. If you don't want him texting after midnight you could take the phone at a certain hour at night. Unless you take texting completely off his phone (and it still is capable of text on most phones, it'll just charge you per text at that point) you can't control how many texts he receives/sends.

3 moms found this helpful

I think the problem is the time he's texting. Once school starts, his phone may need to be confiscated at a certain time if he's not getting regular sleep.

3 moms found this helpful

Every family has their own rules, etc so no one can tell you what is right or wrong for your family.

We are texters in my family of 3. It's nothing for my 16 yr old to have over 12,000 text and mine runs upwards of 8000.

Keep in mind.... Even if you reply with one word... It counts as a text!

I know when I was a teen, I had a private phone line and I was talking on that phone all the time. It wasn't cordless so I was in my room too. My mom nagged me forever but I turned out just fine. I worked 3 jobs, honors student, paid cash for a new car ( not used) and managed to keep an academic scholarship all 4 yrs of college.

M daughter's text are not all after midnight but I'd much rather her be texting than sneaking out, drinking, doing drugs or worse. She is an honors/AP student and if her grades were to plummet... Then I'd re-evaluate

3 moms found this helpful

I can't speak to the times of day he is doing it, but I don't THINK that the numbers are all that out of line. My brother told me about the number his teenage daughter racks up one time. Sounded about like that. Remember, that texts are counting incoming AND outgoing... so that 1,000 is really probably closer to 500 outgoing. That's 100 outgoing a day or so.. right? I know if I get into a "conversation" with someone texting, we can shoot through 4 or 5 exchanges...(so 8-10 texts in and out going) in just a couple of minutes. I don't text much either. For a teen, who might be texting to multiple people at a time... geesh.. they could EASILY hit 100 in an hour or two.
So, is it a lot? Yes, for adults. But I don't think it is that unusual for teens (assuming they have unlimited texting on their phone plan).

3 moms found this helpful

Wow. I never even reach my allotted 250 texts most months. And my 10 year old old uses it to text a friend of hers on occasion because the friend often uses up all of her minutes calling her dad. 9K + is insane. I don't care if it's "normal." It's only normal if it's allowed to continue without initiating some forced self-control on the kid. If the texts are not covered under the cell phone plan then the phone will have to be taken away at certain times, or taken away as soon as he's hit his limit for the month. That means you and his father will have to keep track of his usage closely, and if I'm not mistaken you can easily check usage in real time by calling the phone company any time or checking on the phone itself.

Texting is a privilege, not a right. So perhaps your boyfriend ought to put a plan into place that means his son needs to earn the right to text each week and how often he's allowed to use the phone.

3 moms found this helpful

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