Advice on Starting Potty Training

I think most kids get to a point when they are ready to potty train on their own. Some signs are: interest, able to take clothes on and off, being able to communicate about the "potty" (not necessarily talking), and when they are aware of when they are "going" in their diaper. When my firstborn was ready, he did everything himself (I never even offered help; if he needed it he would ask). I didn't want toilet training to be a control issue. We all eat, we all use the toilet--on our own terms. My firstborn had virtually no accidents, even at night, as long as he got to bed on time.
Now my second born was a different story. She showed interest but would never get around to wearing the fabulous "underwears" as she called them. We would talk about using the toilet and who she knows that uses the toilet, how her body is growing, etc... but she would always say "underwears" tomorrow" well one day I said today is the day. She said no, she wanted a diaper and so I said if she wanted a diaper she could do it herself (she knows how) and walked out of the room. She came out wearing underwear and seemingly proud of it. Also, from day one she wears underwear at night, also, and she hasn't had an accident at night. There have been days she still asks for a diaper but underwear are easier! Every child is different. Hope this helps.
P.S. My friend has a saying about parenthood, in general, something like - "Relax, as long as they are not (fill in the blank with your latest worry --wearing diapers, drinking from a bottle, sucking their thumb,...) at their high school graduation, it's all good"

Hi! we got the book - Its time to Potty! I think, from the Childrens Book Club - she liked it, we read it, she knew it back & forth - she looked at it sitting on the potty -but no matter What we did, sitting her on her potty, putting her in undies, stickers for trying, etc - she wouldnt do it - She would sit there forever & look at books & not go - We did tell her that she couldnt go to pre-school till she used the potty like the other kids - and we took her there & she saw how much fun the others were having - so we Really went to town on saying "you know, when you use the potty you can go to school and have fun with all the other kids" and she'd repeat that back to us in a question form & pretty soon she just used her potty chair! Plus she Loves School too! The first potty chair I bought she DId Not Like! but then I took her with me to Target & she helped me pick out the Fisher Price Musical Potty - it made music when she used it! She LOVED it - & B/c it was Hers! & she picked it out - it is special! I tried from age 2.0 to 3.0 yrs with no results and a little after age 3.0 she did it on her own - it was her decision, she Wanted to Wear her Cute Big Girl Undies, which she also picked out! No more baby diapers - We thought it Would NEVER happen! but she did it on her own time & never went back :) - Good Luck, don't push - encourage with a new potty, undies - things She picks out and you know she Knows she has the Control & she will do it when SHE wants to - just like almost everything else they do or dont want to do at this age - And just enjoy it All! :)

Since she doesn't like wearing a wet diaper try panties my daughter did not like the pee going down her leg. I would do it on the weekend if you can don't make any plans to go any were and just spend the weekend potty training her in panties.

Good luck! It will also happen when she's ready.

Maybe you did start alittle early with her. I waited until the children I potty trained were 22 months old before I considered starting. Once I started; consistancy with everyone involved is a must! From the daycare provider to the aunties to the grandparents to the mom. Remember, your little ones will never be "ready" for potty training as far as they are concerned. Don't make the mistake of "giving the child the option" of being potty trained and letting them take charge of the potty training. If you do, you will have a 4 year old in diapers! You are the adult; you are the parent and just as consistant as you were and as diligent as you were with breaking your first child from the bottle; you will have to do the same with potty training. Potty training is a sensitive issue for alot of new parents because they feel they are loosing their baby but this is part of growing up. Please don't let her stand in her potty or wear it as a hat because this also is giving her some "control". You will hear alot of different advice from parents that have potty trained their own children and maybe a dr or 2 with their opinion but I have real life experience of potty training over 100 children through my ten years of owning a daycare.

Is it possible you just started a little too early with her? That maybe she's not ready? I did that. Potty-training's going way easier now, since I put it off a little.

T

I'm not sure if this will work for your daughter or not, but it worked with my son. We had been using Pull-Ups for about 6 months and he just wouldn't get the concept. He would simply think of them as his diapers, so he would go in them all the time. So once he turned 3, we FINALLY decided to use real underwear because "he is now a big boy and big boys don't wear diapers." After his first couple of accidents, it only took 3 days for him to figure out the concept - that these were not like his diapers. He would yell out every time - "I have to go pee-pee!" We would run him over to the toilet, which was already set up for him so we wouldn't waste any time getting it set up. We also ditched the "little potty" separate toilet and ended up putting a potty seat over the regular toilet so he knew he had to go in there. He used a stool to rest his feet on.

I got him some reward stickers - I found them at CVS (I'm sure most places have them) - they have all kind, Dora, Bob the Builder, etc. Every time he would go in the toilet he would get to put a sticker on the chart on the refrigerator - he absolutely LOVED that. We also had little Runt candies - those are the ones shaped like fruit - that he started calling "toilet candies," so every time he would go #2 he would get a sticker and one little Runt candy.

I hope this helps. I know all kids are different, but this worked for my son. Good luck!

My question is, what is she wearing during the day? My son was daytime potty trained in about 4 days. We took the diapers away completely and just put full blown underpants on him. I don't believe in using pull-ups, because they are a safety net and feel too much like the diaper that she has been using all her life. If she has an accident in the underpants, it makes her uncomfortable, and might provide some motivation to get to the potty when she has to go. The other piece of advice I have is to try to tackle this when you have some time to spend with her. If your MIL is not going to help you with consistency, then you need to do it when you have her at home. Try maybe on a 3 day weekend or something. That should at least get the wheels in motion, and then really try to get your MIL on board (once the hard part is done). Good luck!

For what it's worth, here's what worked for me... I told my 19 month old that I was done "cleaing up after him" and that if he had an accident outside of the diaper or toilet, he would have to clean it up. He only had one accident before he was TOTALLY trained!!!

I battled with my daughter when we started potty training, she had a mind of her own. I started potty training her at about the same time.She just turned 3 and she is totally potty traing during the day we haven't tackeled not time yet. It took her awhile to get use to the idea. I tried reading to her while she was on the potty, and the potty videos nothing seemed to work, until i started a reward system. She loves stickers so I made her a potty chart and told her that everytime she sat on the potty she would get a sticker. She loved that idea and then after about a week of that I told her she had to go pee pee in the potty to get a sticker and so on... After that she did great, she still had accidents and sometimes she wasn't interested in getting a sticker so I would have to find something else that she liked as a reward like getting to to color or a special snack. That seemed to work well. She did great until we moved in October she went back to square one, and it became a battle all over again. I told one of my sisters about it and she told me that, that was exactly what my daughter wanted. So one morning I told her that she could wear underwear and be a big girl and go potty or she could wear a diaper like her brother and be a baby the choice was hers. She's been potty trained from that day on. I don't even any of that will help ya or not doesn't hurt to give it a try.

H. L

I am potty training my daughter now-she is three years old tomorrow. I tried six months ago, and she did NOT get it- I could tell becuase she wet herself every time she had to go. Sometimes she would come and tell me, sometimes she would be content to play wet. I waited another three months and we tried again- this time she would go on the potty sometimes, but there was still frequent wetting her underwear. She would also come tell me she had wet herself and want to sit on the potty, but she didn't understand she had to get on the potty BEFORE she went. I put her in panties a week ago, explained that she was a big girl now, no more diapers, and she had three accidents tops the first day. The next day maybe two, but she run and puts herself on the potty, because she likes "big girl' underwear like her brother gets to wear. I associate diapers with babies and underwear with big kids. Around the third day of only underwear, she started whining and asking for her diaper and telling me she didn't want to go on the potty anymore.( I 'remind' her to go sit on the potty once every hour or so- this would happen when I would interrupt her play or she was tired)
I treated this differently since this wasn't accidents- this was her not wanting to. She clearly knew the difference. In the store the day before she asked to potty and didn't wet herself once. We went to a friends house and the same thing. I said ' I can't put diapers on you anymore- you are a big girl now and you go on the potty like a big girl. Let's go.' and would take her into the bathroom. I think she asked for diapers for three days straight, and once peed her pants because she got angry with me for not putting a diaper on her, and to see what I would do. I put her in timeout, and changed her clothes- I didn't get angry, just put her in time out and repeated what I had been telling her. I haven't had a problem since then- she goes when she is reminded, and if she starts stalling, I take her by the hand and I go with her to the bathroom.
My son learned the same way, and he learned at 2 1/2. I had a lot of folks telling me she should have been trained a year ago, but I know my child and I could tell she wasn't ready yet. Now that she is, it has taken maybe a week with minimal accidents. I hope that helps. It would be hard in your situation because the expectations of the child change with the caregivers, and she would get confused easily. It would help to get everyone on the same page on what needs to happen since this requires everyone's cooperation in order to help her understand what is expected of him and to train her in a clear, consistent way. She sounds a little young to be training- once she fully grasps the concept of not just being wet and disliking it but that she needs to go in the potty beforehand it will happen quickly. I found it was a frustrating experience when my daughter just didn't seem to get it. Once she did, she didn't really need lots of 'training'- just reminders and help with the toilet paper, etc. Your daughter is smart and born with the ability to develop the skills necessary to live. Good luck!! Keep us posted on how it goes!!

Hi

I potty trained my daughter at 18 months she was fully potty trained at 20 months. The way i did it was every time she went potty she got a sticker and put it on her potty. So do something she would like. Hope that helps :)

I am in the process of potty training my 2 year old son. The only thing that is working is this star chart I made. Everytime he goes on the potty, he gets to put a star on his poster. He loves it and once he gets a certain amount of stars, he knows he gets a Transformer. I put a picture of a toliet on it and some transformer stickers.
Hope this small idea helps. Your daughter might like it and want one at your mother-in-laws house as well.

There's a book that's called Potty training in a day, or atleast I think that's the name. My aunt told be about it and the idea is that you force fluids all day long and the way that you do that is to feed them salty things so they want to drink. Then you take them potty every 1/2 hour to an hour and give them a reward, which could be the salty whatever and a drink. Also lots of praise although I know some books and people say not to I know that's what worked for me. You do this all day long and even for the next couple of days but you slowly take away the reward and just keep doing the verbal reward. Just an idea I hope it helps.

Relax. You've showed her the mechanics of going potty, she will do it when she is ready. I've found that potty training can be a nightmare if I invest too much of my own expectations into it. Just accept that there will be setbacks and accidents, and try to "go with the flow". Good luck!

We did a couple of things when potty training our twin girls. First we started with a reward system, they received a sticker for going pee or poop and once they received 4 stickers we took them to the carousel (their favorite activity). It worked at first then lost it's effectiveness. We tried putting them in panties and sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. Then, from the advice of a friend, we took them shopping and let them pick out their own panties. Once they started wearing the panties they picked out they were potty trained!

My advice, try a few different things until you find out what works for her. We started around trying to potty train them around 24 months, but they didn't really want to go on the potty. So we would do bursts of attempts to see if they were ready yet. As they approached 3 I was ready and the shopping trip did the trick. Maybe consider buying some cloth diapers so that she feels wet - checkout www.happyheinys.com.

Hi J.,

My little girl just turned 3. She told me when she was 3 she would potty train : ) She really wanted a My Little Pony Star Catcher, which I bought and said she could have when she had NO MORE DIAPERS. It was in the closet for 2 weeks waiting, where she could see it. It really only took 3-4 days, but that is different for every child. I asked her every 30 min if she needed to go---if she said no I waited 10-15 min---then went back and said lets go sit on the potty! No diapers just panties---so far only one accident, when she didn't want to stop playing. So far it has been two weeks and it really is great only having one in diapers now! I tried the pull ups and still have a full box due to the fact she used them as diapers, but it's all up to you child's own personality : ) We had a small No More Diaper party with one of those big cupcakes from Fry's and Star Catcher flew down to our Big Girl!! Kind of silly, but... Good luck and don't forget to laugh with her! A.

Hi J.,

I have such nightmare stories about potty training, I won't bore you with them. My best advice would be to not stress over it, just forget about the whole thing for 3 or 4 or even 6 months and then when your daughter is well over 2, ditch the diapers, and tell her she's a big girl now, period. When my twins were THREE AND A HALF they were not potty trained yet. Of course, I had three children (their sister was 15 months younger than them) and a bit tired of three in diapers to say the least. I took a weekend and ditched all clothing from the waist down, set out little pottys in the living room and announced we were done with diapers! They were potty trained in one day. But they were 3 and a half and before that, everything I did was a disaster. Do you know what? There isn't a college application out there that has a question on there asking "when were you potty trained?" So don't stress! Every child is different. My kids have never had a problem since that interesting weekend! Their younger sister was easier to potty train but it still wasn't easy!

Good luck -- just don't stress! And if she needs six more months, just put her in diapers and let yourself relax and not worry about it for now.

If she continues to take off wet diapers, then ditch the diapers and put on big girl panties. She won't want those to be wet! Pull-ups are a joke! If you have REAL panties on, you KNOW when you wet them and it's not comfortable. But if she's really not ready, I'd wait.

In the big picture of life, this really isn't that big a deal -- like no child goes to Kindergarten wearing diapers!

Incidentally, my twins are now 9 and my youngest 8 and they have no memory of wearing diapers! :-)

Be Blessed!
J.

No "normal" kid has started kindergarten in a diaper. If you force the issue you will have more messes to clean up and alot more frustration. Your child will be potty trained, it just may be on their time and not yours. Family members mean well but they aren't raising your kid-you are, so do what is best for you and your family!

J.-
I think that the hardest thing is potty training. I have a 15,13 and a 6 year old. The youngest was the hardest to potty train. As a matter of fact she still wears not time pull ups because she sleeps so heavy that she just doesn't wake up to go. First, you need to try to talk to your sister-in-law and explain that it is not your job to train or raise her daughter. But I had all the same things that you have to try the potty training. I had my oldest even take her to the bathroom with her, but it didn't really work. Someone told me about a lady that had all of her children potty trained by the time they were 1 year old. She would get a timer that dinged really loud and she would set it for 15 minutes. When it would go off, she would take her daughter to the potty. She would do this all day long. By about the third or fourth day the child got tired of missing her TV show or having to stop playing her game or having her play time with friends interupted. So the child finally told her mom that she will tell her when she has to go and the child potty trained very easily. I tried it and it worked for a short time. My child is very head strong. I think that potty training is so laid back now a days that even the doctors say don't worry they won't go to school in diapers. I say just try whatever works for you. But if you push too hard it can really back fire. I had that happen with my first. I know that I didn't really give a lot of help, but I hope that I gave you some reassurance.
S. C

I recommend going to panties only at this stage of the game. The fact that your daughter is getting herself another diaper when she wets tells me that she is in fact ready. Even though she does not show interest in sitting on the potty, once she is wearing panties she will start to catch on. My daughter loved to play in the toilet, lift the seat up and down and fill the toilet with toilet paper. This was lots of fun:) I just started putting her in panties because she was taking her diaper off anyway, so I figured if she could do that she could do potty training.

As for grandma, send her at least three pairs of pants and panties. Let her know that if she has more than two accidents that it is okay to put a diaper back on her. You don't want to stress her out too much, but this will help to get your daughter used to wearing the panties. We did this with my mother in law and she appreciated the fact that at some point she could put a diaper back on and not have to clean up so many messes. Your daughter is a little young to maybe fully grasp the concept, but it is a start. My daughter was 2.5 when she was fully potty trained and my son two weeks shy of his third birthday. Be patient, but more importantly consistent!