Advice on Night Feeding

I've has (and am still having) the same issue with my 9.5 month old. My husband and I tried to let her "cry it out" for a few minutes before picking her up and comforting her (but not feeding her). We did this for about two weeks or so. I finally gave in and feed her because she was clearly hungry. I asked my doctor about this at her 9 month check up and she said that for breast feed babies (which mine is, too) they can really only go about 5-7 hours before need food. So, if she goes down at 8 or so and wakes at 2 am, she's probably hungry and feeding her is ok. Over time, as they eat more and rely less on breast milk (after a year old), this night feeding will stop naturally. So my advise would be to feed your son if he seems hungry.

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I would keep feeding him. The pediatrician is making a recommendation based on averages. The extra feeding is not going to harm your son, and as long as getting up in the night isn't taking too much of a toll on you...

Hi M.
I haven't experienced this but I will tell you that your doctor may feel that your son doesn't need it which may be true but if you aren't bothered by it and he isn't using it as a comfort thing than continue as long as you can. It's a bonding for you and your son and soon he won't want to have you feed him. If you can deal w/it then don't change him or the routine until he is ready. Hope this helps L.

Hi M.! Of course the doctors are going to tell you the baby doesn't need this feeding, but I found that everyone of my friends who breast fed their babies had this same issue. My daughter would go to sleep at 7p and wake at 5am to nurse. She would then return to sleep until 7am. To me, that extra 2 hours of sleep without having to torture her with crying it out again was worth it. It seems as if your baby knows how to put himself back to sleep so the answer seems obvious to me... he's a growing hungry boy! This definitely does not last forever and I always loved the special moments I spent with my daughter nursing her. Remember that you are giving your child the best nutrition ever!! Good luck and trust your insticts. They are always right! T.

I just went through this. My theory is that if a baby is drinking heavily (mine was a whole 10 oz. bottle, yours is nursing both sides), then the baby is hugry and needs it. When he would wake up at 2 AM and only dring 1 or 2 oz., I stopped feeding him at 2 AM. At 9 mo., he was going to bed at 7, drinking a whole bottle at 4 and sleeping until 7. Now he's 11 mo. and goes to bed at 8, drinks 10 oz. at 5:30 and goes down for a morning nap at 9:30. It's an early morning but it's hard to expect a little growing body to go for more than 9 hours without food. He's in the 95th percentile for height and only 50th for weight - long and lean - and very healthy. Go with your instincts.

Your Doctor is giving you an OPINION based on the average child. I'm sure he is also looking at the rate of growth for your child. However...he is your boy and you know in your heart what he needs. You need to trust your instincts, IMHO. Whether your child is looking for soothing or is truly hungry he seems to want to nurse. Why is that a problem? Maybe if this is too tiring for you (and it seems to allow your son to get some more sleep) your Husband can bottle feed every other night. I didn't listen to my instincts and listened to the Doctor for a number of months and it turned out that when I just listened to what my son NEEDED things got much easier for everyone. Don't worry once you figure this out, he'll be on the next stage.... Mine is 5 and I still have questions.

Trust your instincts and do what you think is best! It sounds like you already know. Good luck!

You are the mom. That makes you the expert on your child. The doctor is working with averages and your child is not an average. Feed your baby and enjoy the time spent with him before you go to work.

You know your son better than the doctor ever will. Trust your instincts!

Hello,

My daughter used to do the same thing. She would go to bed around 730 and her last meal and drink for the night was at about 6pm. I breastfed her as well I just pumped my milk and gave it to her in a bottle. So whatever she didnt finish at 6 I would give her that before she went to bed for the night. Then around 5am I would get her up so she could drink before it was time for me to get up and go to work that way I wouldnt need to feed her as i was getting ready, etc. At around 10 and a half months she stopped eating all her breakfast so I had to stop giving her the milk at 5am. She didnt miss it at all. So yes the dotor is right technically he doesnt need the feeding but it is all in what you feel comfortable with but you have to keep in mind at some point you have to get him out of this. Personally, the sooner the better the older they get the harder it is to break them from things.

My doctor actually told me not to stop feeding my son at night when he was about 5 or 6 months old. I was really resistant to it, but after two or three nights when I didn't feed him when he woke up, he stopped waking up. That said... my son would wake up early on and off and I'd usually nurse him and put him back to bed so long as it was close to 5:00am. Eventually he just worked things out on his own and starting sleeping 11-12 consecutive hours consistently. Something you might want to try is offering him a little water when he gets up too early. Good luck.

I just went through the same thing; though my doctor told me to feed him at 5. He said if he's eating and going right back to sleep he must need it and would drop it when he's ready. At 11 months he did drop that feeding on his own. He'll be one this week and goes down at 8 and sleeps straight through until 7:30.

I would like to recommend following your instincts. Your doctor is not living in your home, and does not know what works best for you and your baby...you do! If you feel that your baby needs that feeding, then he probably does. If your son could talk to you, you would know for sure, but if he is crying when you don't feed him, then he likely needs this feeding. Listen to your heart :)

M....
I literally just went thru this with my daughter who just turned 10 months old. I thought she needed that feeding too b/c she would drink a 6-8oz bottle. My dr was telling me the same thing about how she didn't need the feeding. My daughter goes down around 8 and sleeps until about 830/9am. What I ended up doing was just letting her cry it out. Trust me, this is going to be VERY difficult...but in the long run it is SO worth it!! It took LESS than a week before she was sleeping thru the night without that feeding...which leads me to believe she was only doing it out of habit. When he wakes up for that feeding...don't go in there at all. Let him cry himself back to sleep. It will become less time each night and then eventually he won't wake at all!! Its very hard listening to your baby cry and not run to them and give them what they want but this feeding might just be out of habit and he really may not need it anymore. Good Luck. =)

I have a 14 month old baby daughter that I weaned at 10 months. She was still taking that early morning feeding and sleeping much better afterwards until 11 months. I think doctors sometimes like to put absolutes on everthing. But if your son is waking up after nine hours to feed, I say do it. It wasn't much longer until mine was sleeping 10-11 hours. He's still young, but most of all trust your instincts! Is amazing how well a baby can do when his mom, who knows him better than anyone, calls the shots, keeping a doctors advice in mind but not using it as the rule.

My daughter is almost a year old and she did the same thing when she was eight and nine months old. My pediatrician told me the same thing as well-that she didn't need this night time feeding and to just "ignore" her when she cried. I know the crying out method is not for everyone but that is what we did. She did cry for about an hour the first few nights but after that she started sleeping until about 6 or 6:30 and now when she gets up it's breakfast time and start our day from there.

Hi M.--I don't have advice but my 8-month-old son is in the exact same pattern! I am in the same situation--he goes to bed around 7:30 or 8 and then wakes around 4:30 or 5:00 and nurses a lot and I put him back down awake and he eventually falls back asleep until 7:30 or so. I get up and nurse him b/c I can't go back to sleep while he is making noise anyway and even though he is not crying when he wakes up, he seems really hungry when I nurse him. I will see if anyone else has good advice for both of us on this! It is better than the early days of getting up during the middle of the night but it is still exhausting!

Follow your instinct. I think you're right, your little guy needs this feeding. It's challenging to give him this time, as it most likely interrupts your sleep, but it won't last long, a few months, maybe, or perhaps just a few weeks if he's going through a growth spurt. Years from now when you look back on it, you may find that you treasure this small amount of time you sacrifice.

It sounds to me like he does need that feeding. And honestly, if he's being put down awake and then falling asleep, he doesn't have a sleep issue and he's not using feeding as a soothing device. My little guy is 11 months old, and he still wakes up once a night when he's going through a growth spurt. I love my son's doctor, she's wonderful, but sometimes you just have to do what you know is best for your little one, not what the doctor says is the norm for the child's age.

I know you are getting a lot of advice to keep going but, here is something that worked for me and my 20 lb 6 month old, very gentle, and from the book "Good Night, Sleep Tight"
Slowly reduce the amount of time you feed him for. ex. with mine he would eat for 20 min. so the first three nights I fed him for 15 min. and put him down still awake. on the 4th night I reduced to 10 min. (5 on each side)did this for another 2 nights, then I was going to reduce to like 7 min. but he deceided he didn't want to get up anymore. There was no crying and I didn't feel like I was starving him. I realy did asure me that he didn't realy need to eat. He just wanted some loveing. He now sleeps from 7:30pm-7am!
Good luck!

You can go with your gut or try to wait like five min everytime he cries. ExampleHe cries at 4:00 let him cry until 4:05. Then tom he will get up at 4:05 let him cry until 4:10 so adventually you will retrain his body to be hunry at 6:00 or 6:30 which is a normal comfortable time to be up!

Girl...I'm a new mom to a baby boy and there is so much doctors tell we should do but for us we live in a real world and that means you do what feels right for you and son...your the mother who knows him more than anyone and sounds like you are doing a great job...my son does the same thing in the morning...we have great kids...good luck

My name is J. and I have 2 very hungry little girls with high metabolisms. My dr. told me the same thing about my first one when she was 9 mon. old. My dr. is a very wise man, however we are the ones with our children 24 hours a day. First thing i would suggest is trying some different bedtimes. For example, putting him down at 9pm instead. So yours and his sleeping times are closer together and therefore you get the maximum amount of uninterrupted sleep as possible. Secondly, I even still, give my children high protein snacks just before bed to help sustain them through the night. Until your son is about 2 he is probably fine also having some carbs, like cereal or crackers, along with his milk, right before you put him down. Some people worry about carbs right before bed because they don't want obese children. Again you should be able to make a wise choice as to what is healthy for your child. My children are also very active, so I don't worry too much about giving my kids carbs right before bed as long as it is accompanied by some protein. Good luck and best wishes for a good nights sleep.

Nine months is a typical growth spurt time, so that's a consideration. I agree that it sounds like he's still needing that feeding, especially if you can nurse him and lay him down awake. Is he giving you hunger cues (sucking on his hands or other things, squirmy, rooting when you pick him up)?

With my son, I realized at ~9 months that he wasn't giving me any hunger cues in the middle of the night, so I started nursing only if he was giving hunger cues, which would happen from time to time. However, he didn't sleep through the night until he was almost 2. It was as if he just needed to know that we were nearby, and some rubs to the back were all that took.

Hi M.,

You need to go with your gut. If you think he needs it then by all means give it to him. He will not be doing this when he's 5, I promise you.

Good luck!