Advice on Nap Schedule and Tantrums

Updated on September 02, 2008
H.S. asks from Royal Oak, MI
10 answers

My son sleeps through the night, asleep by 9 p.m. and awake at 7 a.m. He generally takes a 45 minute morning nap at about 9 a.m. After that we do not have a schedule. I can not get him to take more than a 1/2 hour nap in the afternoon even though he gets very crabby and tired. Another problem we have is...we rock our son to sleep. I know they say not to but he was 7 weeks early and had horrible acid reflux. Out doctor just said to do what ever we had to do in order to get him to sleep. We also had to hold him a lot. Well, of course now he wants to be held a lot and rocked to sleep. I've tried letting him cry it out but the child does not cry himself to sleep. He will scream for hours and never fall asleep. Last time I tried it he had broken blood vessels around his eyes. I'm just not sure how to break him/us of this habit. The sooner we get this under control the better. He's just started showing us his tantrums. FYI, doctors say he is a very healthy 8 month old, size and developmental milestones are right on track with a term baby. We've been very lucky as far as that is concerned. Any advice would be appreciated.

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

With my 2 kids I have found that sleep and nap schedules are very different..

My daughter took 2 naps a day until 19 months-- and she needs every minute of her sleep or she is crabby.

My son dropped his morning nap at 9 months and he manages just fine.

I would rock the baby if that is what it takes.. gradually try to get him drowsy but awake and put him in bed. he is still a young baby.

I have never let mine cry it out for more than a couple of minutes.. Every once in a while one of them will cry in their bed and I will go back and hold and rock them.. I will do this for up to 3 nights.. usually by then they are fine and go to bed nicely.

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A.H.

answers from Detroit on

Your son is overtired. This makes him prone to tantrums, makes falling asleep and staying asleep more difficult. Sleep welcomes more sleep. His wake up time is a good time and his morning nap is too. He should be taking an afternoon nap within two hours from the time he woke up. The trick is to get him into bed before the two hours is up, before he's overtired. Yawning and zoning out or lack of interest are good signs. Eye rubbing & the crabbies means he's getting overtired. He could probably also benefit from yet one more nap in the late afternoon. I would start with moving his bed time earlier, 15 min/day. until you reach somewhere bet. 6 & 8. At that age our daughter went to bed at 6:30. It may seem early, but it's great because he'll get the sleep he needs and you'll get some time for you and your hubby to enjoy. After his bedtime is moved and naps become more regular then begin to tackle how he falls asleep. Being overtired as he is will only make things more difficult, so once that's reduced then move onto the next fix. It was recommended to me and I always recommend it to others "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth. It has lots of different options from cry it out to gradual extinction etc...and much sound advice on how babies/children need sleep and what happens when they don't get it. Good luck!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Detroit on

I can not recall what an 8mth old schedule should be since it seems like a lifetime ago. It does however sound like your son is over tired.
I found like book and website a lifesaver. My daughter since 6wks was on a schedule and still at 29mths is. She goes to bed at 8pm on the nose and naps at around noon for 2-3hrs a day. She sleeps thru the night in a twin bed and gets up around 7-8am. This book assisted us to take control, and it worked. She is a happy, healthy little princess.
The book is Baby Whisper by Tracy Hogg or http://www.babywhisperer.com/babywhisperer.html
Good Luck and remember it is not to late to take control. It will make you and your son a happier person

1 mom found this helpful
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C.M.

answers from Detroit on

A half an hour nap is better than none at all. He should be ready for another nap after lunch. Don't wait for him to seem tired...just go rock him to sleep. If you do this every day he will get into a pattern. Preemies are special little beings and even though his growth chart etc is the same as a term baby, he is still a preemie who needs special time. "They" say not to rock him...do "they" know your baby? If rocking him works...ROCK ON!!!

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J.N.

answers from Detroit on

Mine is 6 months and goes to sleep anywhere from 8:30pm - 10pm and sleeps until about 6am - 7am.

He mostly takes cat naps (i.e. maybe 15-20 minutes)during the day/evening, and takes his longest naps around 11 am & 3 pm.

If he sleeps for longer than a few minutes in the morning or early evening, then I am totally surprised because usually he's wide awake.

Mine really fights going to sleep - so I'm happy that he sleeps through the night and for the most part we have a routine...

Is the room/area where he sleeps in darkish/cool? Is he used to co-sleeping?

One of the reasons why I ask is because mine sleeps a lot better during the day - when it's kind of dark and cool in the area where he's sleeping. Also, do you make a lot of noise in the afternoon? I can do some chores while he's sleeping, but to do other chores is just inviting him to wake up from a nap.

Yesterday was horrible because the apartment complex brings in its landscapers on Mondays and he'd be in the middle of a nap and then the guy with the leaf blower or mower would come by and wake him right up.

Just a couple of ideas....

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K.P.

answers from Detroit on

I know how you feel when you try to let them cry it out! It's pure torture! When we were trying to get our son down for a nap doing this I couldn't stand it. Finally, my husband came up with a modified version that worked for us. We would first put him down and let him cry for 15 minutes. I sat with a clock and waited that exact time. If he was still crying (and he did for maybe a week) I would go in and pat his back and talk to him softly, then I would say goodnight again and leave. Sometimes the break in the screaming action would calm him down. Then after another 15, I would do the same thing. After another 15, we would pick him up and bring him out into the living room but as soon as he acted tired, he was back in bed. It was miserable but I have to say that he is now a happy, well rested child, who doesn't even blink when we put him in his crib. He grabs his blankie, curls up and falls asleep.
Find a system of letting him cry it out that you can deal with and stick to it. Also, I notice with my son, he will sometimes make noise 30 to 40 minutes into his nap as if he is awake. But if I wait just a minute or two he settles himself right back to sleep.
It's rough now but at least you're getting that full night of sleep to recharge yourself! :)

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H.H.

answers from Detroit on

I would try an earlier bedtime. He might be overtired which is making is difficult for him to fall asleep. Try the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Weissbluth. That is what we used with our baby and it worked great. She is 13 months and sleeps from 7pm to 7am (approximately) and then takes a morning nap and an afternoon nap for 1-2 hours each. Move the bedtime gradually, try starting bedtime routine 15 minutes earlier every few days and see if this helps. Whenever our little starts to fight sleeping, it is usually when she has gone to bed late or missed a nap and gets overtired. Sometimes on these occasions I lay her down at night even earlier, like 6:30pm, to help her catch up. Hope that this helps!!! Let me know if you have any more questions.

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S.C.

answers from Detroit on

Well, this is my opinion (just some advice for you) at 8 months they still have a hard time "soothing" themselves. I rocked my son until he was almost 2 once he got in his big boy bed I stopped. that being said he didnt need to be rocked to fall asleep We just did it bc its a great bonding time between the child and parent(s) I LOVED rocking my son so I would say to continue that. How long is he awake between morning and nap (and afternoon and nap?) my rule of thumb is 5-7 hrs in between wake and nap time (now that my son is almost 3)When he was younger (4 months 15 months) My son would take 2-3 two hour naps until he was about 15 months then he went down to two 2.5 hr naps until he was about 22 months now he is almost 3 and he still takes a 1-2 hr nap. I would suggest giving him one mid-day nap and see if he will sleep about 2-3 hrs. just a suggestion. rock him while he will still let you, he will be all grown up before you know it. best of luck,
S.

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J.H.

answers from Detroit on

A lot of posters have already mentioned this so I'll just support their advice: the book "The Baby Whisperer" worked really well for me. The author suggests a nice combination of teaching your child independence while still being very supportive and letting him know that you're there. I know some mothers are saying it's OK to continue rocking your baby to sleep. And it is - as long as you're willing to do it every single time you put him to sleep. But my guess is that there are some nights/naptimes where you can't spend a ton of time to rock. What I did was to get my daughter on a schedule (via the advice in The Baby Whisperer) and now I'm able to rock her for some nights for long periods of time (when I don't have chores to finish) and on other nights, I honestly snuggle/rock her for 1 or 2 minutes just to get a quick cuddle before I have to finish laundry, etc. It's very nice to rock and snuggle but on some nights, that's just not feasible... It may take a little time to get your son adjusted but, believe me, it's well worth it!

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K.R.

answers from Detroit on

You know your child. Listen to your own instincts not what "they" say or what you read in a book. Our society pushes for infant independence more than any other culture. If rocking works and it feels like the right thing to do when you turn off the noise and listen to your gut then rock away and enjoy every minute of it. They get big so quickly! Before you know it you'll be looking back fondly at these close, cuddly times.

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