22 answers

Advice on How to Handle Mean Neighbors.

Hi ladies I need some advice, I have the meanest neighbors and i don't know what I should do about it. We moved in nearly 3 years ago and from day one they have never been friendly. The house we bought needed some TLC and I know that with everything we have had going on ours hasn't been the nicest house in the neighborhood to look at. And not only that due to having dirt work done we don't have a fence up and my dogs can be a pain but I do try my best to not let them roam. The first incident was w/ their kids and my then 5 yr old son, he came and asked if he could play with the kids next door and I told him that he could but he had to ask the kids first if he could come and play. Next thing I know he comes in the house balling and asking me why no one likes him. I asked him what happen he said he asked the kids if he could come and play and they told him NO and to NEVER come back! We would always wave at them and they just look turn away as if they didn't see us. Another thing that happen was our trampoline blew into their yard durring a storm and when the husband got home from work I told him that I had already spoken to my husband and he was going to get it as soon as he got home from work. He sneered and asked TODAY? I said yes today he will be home shortly. As soon as my husband got home he went right over to take apart the trampoline and haul it away, the husband came out and starts in saying "you know if that would have hit my house you would've had to pay for any damges." Then just went back inside. When my husband was done he knocked on the door to let them know he was finished and the guy came out to inspect that it had in fact all been cleaned up and went back in the house w/out a word. I don't know what we ever did to these people but they really just don't like us and it drives me crazy. My kids have even deemed them "the mean neighbors". Last but not least the mean neighbors cat ahd kittens so my 2 yr old daughter takes off to their house every chance she gets to go and the the kitties and today my 5 yr old daughter was trying to get her sister when the the wife comes out and demands to know where I am and to shew the girls away as if they were dirty little mice. I don't know if I should just stay away from them or say something I would really just like to know what we've done to these people. Hope you ladies can help!

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

First I have to start by saying thank you!!! I have told the mean neighbors in the past that we are planning on putting our fence back up and apologized for any problems that it may haved caused them and also they said that they were planning on adding to their fence, so my husband and the mean neighbor husband had talked about joining fences, well that, needless to say is no longer an option and we are going to begin putting our fence up ASAP!! I have thought about taking them baked goods but Im not sure how well they will be recieved considering the wife is plastic surgery fake but I still want to try so that I can leave a letter saying I'm sorry for any problems our home improvement has caused and that I hope theat they will take into consideration how far our house has come since we first purchased it. And also to keep in mind it cant all be done at one time. I do also want to ask what our family has done to offend them and clear up ANY misunderstanding, we are good people and kids are kids!! We have since gotten a kitten so hopefully that will keep our courious 2 yr old closer to home! Thanks to you ladies you have confirmed that it is not us but just that some people have an ugly heart and no matter what I do it is not going to change their attitude and We just have to keep positive and keep moving forward!!!!

Featured Answers

I would agree with the people who suggest a direct conversation at least once before you give up and just try to ignore -- saying you want to get on a better footing, and hopefully clearing away some misunderstandings. I would think it is at least harder to be mean to someone who has made an effort to reach out. Best of luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I might use a holiday as an excuse to take over a batch of brownies or something and just say "I would really like to be friendly with all my neighbors but I think we may have gotten off on the wrong foot" and see what happens. If you are received poorly - then you know you have done all you can, been as nice as you can. If they respond positively- maybe there has been some miscoomunication on their part- maybe they are just "grumpy" people who are always misinterpreted (well- it *could* happen that way, you never know!)

It is a shame though and I'm sorry you have had such a rough time with them.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Hello, first of all let me say god bless you for having to tell with such horrible neighbors. As for advice, as far as i can see you have three choices, give them the telling off of a lifetime, which of course won't help anything but your own ventilation!! You could just totally ignore them or my favorite when i run across people like that, just do what the good book says and heap coals!! Every chance you get just be so sickeningly nice that if they have any decency whatsoever, which i admit does sound questionable, they will have to eventually become shamed and humiliated into at least being civil. The house right beside ours and i do mean right beside, has been a rental house for a few years and i cringe every time it empties out for fear of what kind of people may move in. We have one five year old who has always had run of that yard and even the house with most of the neighbors so it would be very strange for him to have neighbors living there that didn't completely welcome him. That side of our yard looks like complete white trash with all of my son's outside toys and my husband's duck hunting boat! I tell my husband every time it empties out we need to throw up a privacy fence, i wouldn't want to do it after someone moves in for fear of offending someone. So far, we have been lucky with all the neighbors, but the family that is there now is building a house and will be moving soon. So the worry will return of who and what is coming next!! You do have another option as well. Pray for your neighbors everyday!! I am not a "religious" nut, but i see the power of prayer work in my life everyday and it just may be that god is the only one that can help these people. Afterall, it is really them with the problem not you!! Think how horrible it would be to be like them!! And you know, the lord works in mysterious ways, maybe if he can't change them, he can put a for sale sign in their yard!! Ha ha! I wish you the best of luck but do keep in mind that even though it effects your life, they are obviously very unhappy people with some serious problems while you have a beautiful family filled with life and joy (other than your neighbors)!!
Have a fabulous day and god bless!!

1 mom found this helpful

Get a fence built as quickly as you can - separate your family/children from theirs will go a long ways. (Oh and be prepared - they WILL complain about what type of fence you put up, where you put it, etc.. That's just the type of people they are!)

1 mom found this helpful

Unfortunately some people are mean and nasty and there is nothing you can do about it. Make sure your kids understand it has nothing to do with them and tell them to stay away from those neighbors. Ther emay be other kids or families in the neighborhood they can bond with. The best way to deal with their ignorance is to ignore it and not let it ruin your family's happiness.

1 mom found this helpful

I would agree with the people who suggest a direct conversation at least once before you give up and just try to ignore -- saying you want to get on a better footing, and hopefully clearing away some misunderstandings. I would think it is at least harder to be mean to someone who has made an effort to reach out. Best of luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Good fences make good neighbors. If you can, I'd take your tax return and put in a fence. You can't really change someone else's behavior...but it might help the kids and dogs to stay out of their way. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I think you should go over there and ask them very nicely what is their problem!!

Love ya
T.

1 mom found this helpful

Kill em' with kindness!!!!! Do you know if they are church goers. If so, remind them how Christian their actions have been "WITH A SMILE ON YOUR FACE." Do not worry about the trampoline thing. Acts of God do not qualify for property damage. Always make sure you smile and wave at your neighbors. Just because they choose to live with hate and anger, does not mean that you need to. Be happy you don't have my neighbors. Mine are rude, loud, and ignorant, literally!!!! Remember that you can not change how another person thinks or acts. Just be the larger person and most of all, never let it keep you up at night. It is their problem, not yours!!!!

1 mom found this helpful

You have done nothing wrong. These people are probably very unhappy and let that spill out onto others. Some people are just not sociable and teach their kids to be the same way. Ignore them. Tell your children not to go over into the neighbor's yard so there will not be any more complications. If you try saying something it may just lead to more problems. I'm sorry you have such rotten neighbors.

J.

1 mom found this helpful

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