Advice on How to Get Through My First Day Back to Work

My first day back to work after my first baby was awful , I do not know how I drove the car because I was crying so much! , I had a family friend watch my son so almost as good as having my mother , so that is one less thing for you to worry about. What my friend did was text me at a few points through out the day telling me what my son was doing , for example 'Mommy I have just had some milk' , or 'mommy I have just woken from a nap'.....silly little things that made it that much better , knowing that he was doing just fine without me.

If it's at all feasible, look into going back for the first week or two for half days. I did that with both of my girls and it helped ease the transition for both me and my children.
Also, if you are able to go home for lunch, take that time to enjoy the little peanut :)
Good luck!

See if you can start back to work on a Friday. That way, you can get your desk in order, get the latest office gossip and then plan your strategy for getting back to work.

This will also be a test run for your little one, too. Your morning routine will change dramatically, so you can use this day to see what works and what doesn't.

I think that first day is the most exhausting. Get it out of the way on Friday, enjoy your weekend and then, hopefully, Monday will go smoothly.

Finally, don't forget to bring a big picture of your little one and keep her close! You are in a great position to have Gramma watching her. That in itself would make me feel much better about going to work. Good luck!

Hi K.. I felt the same way after my first son was born. I went back to work after 6 weeks and I had to interview babysitters to watch my son. It was so hard, but after going through it, I feel like I can do anything. I pumped milk at work, which was easier than I thought and the babysitter turned out great (we are still friends). It was tough, but you can do it! You are stronger than you think. I worked for a couple years, saved up some money and now I'm at home after my 2nd son was born. In retrospect, I am so glad I went back to work, because I feel like I can appreciate and understand each situation. Also, I think if I would have just stayed home after maternity leave I would love it at first, but then down the road I would have wondered.... what if I had gone back to work?

My advice is - be easy on your mom. She might not do things exactly as you would have if you were home, but trust her and be grateful for it. I would ask her to follow certain rules (like put the baby to sleep on her back) but don't sweat the small stuff (like if your mom puts the baby in the swing for naps, etc) I used to worry about that stuff and it's not worth it!

Maybe granma can bring her to your work for your lunch breaks so you can have a little time together during the work day? That helped me TONS when I started working- plus its one less time you have to pump!

It helped me to "think on the male model" as my mother would say. In other words, presumably your husband has already gone back to work. That doesn't make him a bad parent, and it doesn't mean that he doesn't adore your daughter. It also doesn't in any way make her not adore him (this will become ever clearer as she ages). So those three really important things won't be any different for you when you go back to work. You're still a really good parent. You still really love your daughter. And she still really loves you. Nothing else matters but those three things, and going back to work doesn't change them at all, no matter what anyone else says. Remind yourself of that. (And don't feel guilty on that first day back catching yourself having a good time interacting with your co-workers either. Sometimes moms can be our own worst enemies). Good luck. I know it's not fun, but I'm sure everyone will do great.

I called a couple of times during the day to check up on the little one. It was hard for me, since another girl had her first day back at work after maternity leave and her mom brought her baby in during the day. I hated seeing her with her baby when I couldnt see mine during the day. Although, as another poster said, maybe your mom could bring her in for your lunch break? Or you could meet at a restaurant outside of work so you dont cry in front of coworkers any more than you have to. :-)

I only took 6 weeks after my c-section for financial reasons, but the worst part for me was when my husband held our son up by the window and waived his tiny little hand bye as I pulled out of the driveway. He should be shot for that one (LOL). I was able to go home over my lunch hour for the first couple weeks. That helped alot, if that's an option I'd definately do it! You might be surprised that it's nice to be back. Sure you'll miss the baby, but going a couple hours with out having to change a diaper and more adult conversation can be a little refreshing. Good Luck!

I totally understand how you're feeling! I went back to work January 2009 after being on maternity leave for 15 weeks. I will not lie, it was VERY hard at first. I didn't want to spend any time away from my daughter. Even while on maternity leave, I only went out once with my husband because I couldn't stand to be away from her. But let me tell you, it DOES get better with time. Take one day at a time. Before I knew it, I actually liked getting out of the house as each new day came. Eventually it will be all right. Just get through those first couple of weeks!
Good luck to you!

I went back to work after both my kids were born. In addition to some of the other suggestions (go back on Friday, try to see your baby a bit during the day occasionally) I went back to work part time for the first week to ease us all into the new routine. If at this point that is not an option, just do what works for your family and eases the challenges. For some, pictures or visits might be too sad; for others it might be just what's needed. I too love my job and I have been a great role model for my kids -balancing motherhood and a career. My kids are now 13 and 10 and I have an extremely close relationship with both (one girl, one boy). They are close with my husband but they still prefer mommy. The fact that you love your job helps too. I know my kids are positively impacted seeing their mom do something she loves and seeing the contributions I make. Good luck - it really can work out fine!

I have been in almost the exact situation twice. I am going to start out and say, it's going to be hard, damn hard, the first week. I cried and cried, BUT somehow, someway, it does get easier. It becomes more routine and things start coming together and it does get easier. Try to keep reminding yourself that you are doing the right thing for the entire family by going to work to get out of debt and to provide a better life for the entire family. Without going to work and helping to support your family, there are things that you would miss out on. Try to focus on what you ARE doing and yes, going to work to help pull in money is doing something. You can do it. You can do it. You can do it. My heart goes out to you and I cry if you need to cry, but remember you are doing a great job raising your baby and helping your family even if you have to go to work. Good luck.

Well you have to think I am leaving her with my mother so she is in good hands. It is normal to miss your baby but like you said you have to go back to work. Maybe on our lunch break youcan call her or skype with her, but rest assured she will be fine and so will you. My son left home (step father issues) to go stay with my cousin and I cried almost everyday and he was 16 so I undertand you are not alone. You are a loving mother and that is a great thing. I would be more worried if you were saying " I will be so glad to get back to work, because this baby is a hand full" and by the time she is 2-3 and learning to do thing for herself and won't let you help because she can do it you will be glad to have some time away. That is when they are a hand full. Take pictures to work and show her off when you can and know that it will be alright.

Hi K.,

I am not sure if you are in the financial position to purchase a video cam but maybe that would help you "participate" in some of the joys that your daughter and mother are having throughout the day. You are very lucky to have your mother helping you. I can only imagine that this would be a lot more comforting than a nanny or daycare. Plus, it is a relationship you want to encourage! :)

I also think that if it is feasible having your mother bring her to visit during the week (like Weds since mid week) is a great idea. :) Or if you could go home for lunch once that would be nice too.

I am not sure your drive or your work schedule flexibility but I would try to schedule your day around her naps. So, for example, maybe be there when she wakes at 7 so that you can feed her and play a bit. Then you go to work. Most likely, she is sleeping an hour in the morning and then a couple in the afternoon. If you can get home by 4ish, you are there when she wakes to play, feed and bathe her. Then end your day with a couple hours of work to wrap up open items. It will be rough but I always tell myself that it doesn't last forever. :)

Good luck and best wishes. :)
K.

Hi - I dreaded going back after my first, and was surprised how easily it went. In fact, I felt relieved to get a break. I knew he was in good hands and I felt more like myself. It also helped that my husband and I agreed before I went back, that if I was miserable, we would regroup and come up with a better plan. That was 10 1/2 years ago and I'm still working ;-) I remember his exact words, "Just one thing. You need to promise me we will address it WAY before it gets to the point of miserable"

That extra support helped and gave me the opportunity to go back to work with an open mind to try to create the balance with no pressured feeling of being trapped or feeling like I had no other options.

Good luck - if you love your job and your coworkers, your work is a big part of you.

Hi K.- congratulations on your new baby! Going back to work is tough, there is no doubt about it, but the fact that you love your job and your co-workers will make this difficult transition a lot easier. How many people do you know who can honestly say that they love their job? I bet that your co-workers will be really excited to see you and you all will have a lot of catching up to do-- enjoy that "me" time and bring plenty of baby photos to show off. You will also have peace of mind knowing that your baby will be in the good care of your mom.

You will never stop missing your daughter or thinking about her at work, this is only natural. I find it helpful to keep a photo on my desk next to my computer so I can also look at it-- I prefer a silly action shot that makes me laugh. Good luck with everything!

First of all, let me applaud you for returning to work, it is hard having to part with your new baby, so soon after birth but knowing your child is in the capable hands of your mother, will ease that for you a little bit.

I would agree with the other person who said that you should consider starting back on a friday, that way your can get your bearings after maternity leave.I would say to call home during lunch or plan for a few "visits" during lunchtime from your mom/baby to ease your transition back into work.

Having a job right now is a precious thing, especially because of the way the economy is. You should maybe look at this too as a chance to have a little bit of yourself back. You said you love your job, so this is a good thing too. I think it's pretty mean that moms are shunned for wanting to work outside the home, thinking it will somehow stunt their child's growth. My parents and several of my friends parents all worked outside the home and we are all respectable human-beings. Having a dual income family is a normal thing too...Don't feel bad for working, your child will one day respect you for doing this on their behalf!

I can't imagine parting with my babies so young - I am so sorry. You obviously aren't happy about it either so try to make some kind of change like working at night when baby is sleeping, or part time or finding work to do from home on more flexible hours. I know it isn't easy - when I had my first I didn't want to go back and we also had quite a bit of debt. It was very difficult to lose my income because at the time it was more than my husband's, but we sold our cars and everything that wasn't necessary in our home and we paid down our debt very slowly making minimum payments that first year until my husband got a promotion. I did food co-ops to save on groceries and we literally didn't eat out shop or do anything that cost money for a year! It was tough sometimes but we always had what we needed and spent time doing things like picnics on the beach. One of the best years of my life and I will never regret it. Obviously I have no idea what the specifics of your situation are - I am just speaking generally. Essentially what I am trying to say is if you are unhappy with the situation work relentlessly to change it to something that will make you all happier. You don't ever get that bonding time back, but you can always make more money later. And somehow God does manage to provide when we ask.

Dear K.:

Congratulations on your wonderful little baby girl! And good for you for having a great job and co-workers! You deserve credit already for keeping yourself connected to a great employment opportunity. When I returned to work at my son's nine-week birthday, I was certainly helped by a supportive husband, kind and flexible co-workers, a superb daycare, and my son's attitude (he was happy and had fun at daycare). But what helped me the most was a girlfriend's admission that, even two years back to work after her daughter's birth, she still had trouble focusing on work. Here I am 16 months after my son's birth, and I am the same way. I am always wanting to research something, set up something, check how he's doing at daycare, etc. -- it's a kind of compulsion. Be easy on yourself and accept that you will think of her, her life, her next milestones, her diet, what you'll do with her over the weekend, her toys, her doctor's appointment, and everything about her practically all the time. AND, you will still get the work that you need to do done.

I have had to do this three times and it seemed each time i came back after having one of my babies it got even harder. The last though, the only way i made it through was being able to see her at lunch and nurse and an awesome freind of mine had "stolen" some pictures of our family during my time off and cover my desk with them and then also had a huge written saying welcome back S. and it really helped... so make sure there are pics for you to look at and don't be afraid to cry a little..it is sad.

I went back to work at 12 weeks as well with my first son. What I think really helped me was that the day before I had to go back, I took my son to the sitter for a half day. I went out to lunch with my husband, so it was a nice enjoyable time, esp for a new Mom when you get no alone time with your hubby. Then I went out on my own for 2-3 hours and did some errands and shopping. I cried the whole time, but what I think was good about it was that I got it out of the way before I was actually back at work. At work you have to actually do things....crying all day is not an option, or if you did I think people might be a little worried about you. Anyway, it helped for me to be able to express those feelings without having to worry about getting certain things done. And I was able to talk to my husband over lunch about how I was feeling and stuff. And he understood my bawling :)

The next day was much better. I had two or three times where I started crying a little but I was busy and able to keep it at bay for the most part. What was hard for me was not talking about my little man constantly, cause well, I knew everyone there didn't want to hear that much about him but it was all I wanted to talk about! It is good if you can find a Mom's group, a good friend or an online parent group where you can talk about stuff like that so you don't feel you are constantly cooing about your baby to your coworkers.

Good luck....it is not easy!