24 answers

Advice on Growing Girls

I have a 9 year old daughter. I dont know how to put this any other way, my little girl has boobs! However, she is a tomboy and absoultly refuses to wear a bra. I have bought undershirts with no bra. I have bought undershirts with bras in them. She hates to wear them all. I have tried and tried. This has lead to morning battles which ends in me giving in. Please any advice would be grateful.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you to all who responded. I appreciate all the advise. I am going to make one last ditch effort. I will take her to get sports bras... If she still wont wear them, then my battle is over. I beleive in picking my battles as well. She will still have her health and safety if she does not wear them. And at least i tried. Again thank you to all!

Featured Answers

I have the same issue. Try a sports top. It will smooth them down and she will have support for her activities. Take her shopping to pick what she would like.
Hope this helps.

1 mom found this helpful

She's only nine. Don't create a battle until she is 14. With any luck it won't be an issue by 12.
Chill Girl!

More Answers

Hello Nicole! I have an 8 year old, she doesn't have boobs but she's starting to show so I bought her some training bras after someone told her she was starting to grow boobs. My suggestion is that if she refuses to wear what you have bought her, leave her alone. Soon enough someone will point it out to her and they won't be as nice as you, then she'll decide on her own that she needs to wear something. I hope this helps in some way even if it's not the answer you were hoping for. Please let me know how it turns out. J.

1 mom found this helpful


I have 3 daughters and this is never easy. Try taking some pictures of your daughter after she is dressed the way she wants and then the way you want. Let her choose which is the most appropiate..

1 mom found this helpful

Dear N.,

Many young girls today are developing at a faster rate than what was considered previously "normal". The reason is that we have more estrogen in our foods (usually fast foods) and in the environment. You can continue to teach and role model good eating behaviors (more vegetables and less red meats), but your child has already started developing. The best suggestion is to let her wear the supporting undershirts (without the bras). Don't push bras on her because mentally she's not ready. None of her friends are wearing bras (that she knows of) and she's not in social settings (the girls locker room) to notice that she's not alone with this problem.

I had a son who constantly wanted to wear shorts during the middle of winter and without a coat too! He would always reply that the inside of the school building was warm. My reply was that it is cold when you wait for me to pick you up from school.I thought everyone would think I was a bad mother. Well, I noticed that this happened to be a school trend with other students and parents. I finally decided that he would change his habits once he became cold. He did! The point is that your daughter has to be ready for this change. She's mentally a 9 year old. Also, you can talk to your pediatrician about this situation; many are aware that young children are developing at a faster rate. Good luck!


1 mom found this helpful

My first piece of advice to you is to change your daughters diet. If she is already developing breast at nine it could be this. You can help slow this down. Store bought meats (chicken is the worst) are pumped full of hormones to make their chickens better. What is the best part of a chicken? Breast meat. So they are given hormones that then get passed onto you when you eat them. Try to find free-range chickens they are a little more expensive, but I buy a whole one to cut down on cost and cut it up as needed. Also milk, by hormone free horganic milk such at horizons. The price is not that much different.
She is probably embarrased because maybe her friends don't have breast yet and she doesn't want to be the only one wearing a bra. Just give her time and wait for her friends to catch up with her. She wil probably tell you when she is ready. Good luck

1 mom found this helpful

Hello Nicole;

Have you tried Sport Bras. You should sit down and explain to her why it is important to wear something over her chest. You are the mother. You do not let the child run the show it is ok to discuss what she wants and for you to listen to what your daughter has to say but at the end of the conversation you are the mother and you need to make sure that she leaves the house with something covering her chest. Especially if she has boobs. She will appreciate you later in life if she ever becomes a girly girl. She will not want to have sagging breast. So you need to put your foot down and make her put on at least a Sports Bra. If she is a tomboy explain to her that the sports bra or maybe you should say sports shirt is not a bra it is just something to hold her chest in place and explain to her why. I have a friend that had the same problem with her daughter and she introduced the sports bra to her daughter. Her daughter is now 16 and that is all she wears is Sports Bras. So, give this a try.


1 mom found this helpful

Hi N.,
I was going to say the same as Renee... try a "sports" bra!
The "tomboy" in her will love the name and they are a bit more trendy than a regular ol' I'm growing up and I don't wanna bra. ;o)
I'd also suggest trying to talk with her about it. (also maybe a good time to begin the conversations about body changes, etc if you haven't already) Tell her she has options, but the one option she does not have is to not wear one at all. I don't know the relationship you and she have, but hopefully if you "put your foot down" and say these are your options, not wearing one is not, her resistance will wane.
Good luck and let us know how it all turns out. I have an 11 y/o son and my daughter is only 5, so I'm sure I'll be here for similar advice in a few years! :-O

1 mom found this helpful

I'm not sure how much actual "advice" I can give you, but I remember when my mother tried to make me wear bras for the 1st time.I was a huge tomboy too! All I can say is "I absolutely hated bras!" I remember them being really uncomfortable and itchy. It was somewhere around the 4th or 5th grade. I would wear it to school just to satisfy my mom and then take it off and stash it in my locker until the end of the day. To be honest, I really don't even remember when I started wearing bras all the time with no problems. It probably had something to do with my friends wearing them, so I fell in with the crowd too eventually. I would suggest the sports bras for now too because they are WAY more comfortable; just make sure they're not too tight. When she gets a little older, and "they" get a little bigger, she'll probably want the regular bras. I sympathize with you on this one because, after 2 boys, I now have a little girl. She's only about 15 months old, but I know how time flies and she'll be going through all that hard transition stuff before I know it. Good luck to ya and I'm sure you will both make it through it all ok.

R. W

1 mom found this helpful

how about a sports bra?

1 mom found this helpful

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