Advice on Child Picking up After Themselves

Since you have just taken the toys away and giving them back eventually, try not giving them back AT ALL! You can tell her, if she doesnt pick them up, they are being THROWN AWAY or given to the needy! Then once her toys are gone, they are gone and she isnt getting new ones to play with! Same with the clothes! My mother told me when I was younger the same thing! I didnt care at first when she said I wouldnt have them for a while, what got my attention was when I wouldnt get them back at all and knowing she wouldnt buy new toys, I cleaned my room. This is similiar to what other moms have said, I know. It has somewhat a different approach. Try it and let me know how it works!

Well, my children are too young for me to have encountered this problem... but I DO know what my father did with my sister and me. He used to take whatever toys I left out of place away from me for a week or so, and make us wash the clothes we left on the floor ourselves. If a week doesnt work, perhaps two weeks. whatever length of time gets the point accross. Since we tended to play with our favorite toys all the time, we picked up after ourselves because we didn't want to lose our favorite things. It worked like a charm on us.

have you tried blasting her favorite c.d. and making a game out of it? silly dancing and all? this may seem odd but when the house needs cleaning that is what i do(only i put it on a radio station) and my girl loves to be a part of the chores. perhaps you could clean her room and suggest that she do one of your chores, like vaccuming or dusting, she may prefer this because she will feel like an adult, if only for a little while. another suggestion is that you get a jar and write her name on it and tell her that every day if she cleans her room you will put a dollar in the jar, after a week if she refuses to you will take away a dollar- at the end of the month she can go buy something at the store with her earnings(my parents did this with me and i'm quite tidy now)

Jail sounds like work! I barely have time to clean house as it is, no time for their rooms at all.

I had a talk with my boys after a big fight about cleaning their room about 6 months ago. Dirty clothes were no longer my problem. They didn't have clean clothes for school then its their fault. Obviously they also had too many toys, because it was too much work to keep it all clean. We decided to simplify.

I stopped washing my boy's clothes for them and that pretty much solved the dirty clothes problem. The first time my oldest had to wear dirty socks and jeans to school he freaked out. He washes his clothes regularly enough to keep me happy now, I remind them every couple of days and they run up and get the clothes and stick them in the washer and dryer. Both boys 11 and 9 have been doing their laundry for about 6 months now and it really helps them learn life skills I think. They take for granted clean clothes appearing and dirty ones leaving otherwise, I figured they were old enough.

I discovered that folding is too difficult apparently and dressers are EVIL. I got some cheap closet organizers with drawers and double bars with some little pocket shelves in the middle for both boys closets. I removed all the dressers from their rooms. They hang all shirts and pants on hangers (easier they say than folding) and they put underwear, PJs and socks in the wire drawers or baskets on the shelves. I liked it so much I did it in my room too! Makes for more space without the dressers too.

As for toys, I have found that less is more there too. We keep it simple. They don't like cleaning up and they didn't play with most of the stuff anyway so we have given most everything away. Most kids have way too much stuff. They have their video equipment and basics like legos and a few select transformers and robotic toys, remote control cars and an assortment of action figures. We have two sets of cheap plastic drawers found at like dollar general (really cheap bad drawers LOL) and this is where they keep the smaller pieces of toys. The robots and cars are on display on desks, night stands and against the wall etc.

However I did threaten at the same time, both of them and they took me very seriously. I told them if they didn't keep their room relatively clean and clothes picked up every couple of days I would do the following. My boys are very concerned with their "cool" appearance and I give things to charity often so this worked.

I said I would go buy school uniforms with 3 pairs of tan pants, 5 solid color polo shirts, a plain blue hooded sweatshirt jacket and plain brown shoes (they both hate brown). The rest of their clothes would be given to charity. I would then remove all furniture from the room and all window treatments and all toys, put the mattress on the floor and that would be their big empty room. No fancy clothes, no toys, no furniture, no TV, no video games. Just a mattress and the school uniform clothes. Neither of them like that idea at all and for good measure I told them this as I helped them clean their room and removed a 33 gallon trash bag full of old toys to take to goodwill and then removed all their old clothing and stuff that was too small.

If they slip up I simply stick to the grounding, and don't let them do anything like tv or whatever until its all clean.

Good luck.

My 2 year old puts her clothes and toys away and helps me put random things where they belong. The secret is, for her age group, is to do it with her. Older children, however, are capable of realizing the consequences of their actions. While your daughter is in her room, take a big plastic bag, start picking up her things and putting them in the bag. Does not matter what order they go in, as long as she sees you putting these things in. Don't say anything. If she asks, tell her, "Im picking up MY things." Emphasize ownership of her stuff. She may or may not protest, but if she does, tell her that if shes not going to take care of what you provide for her, your taking them back and giving them to someone who will appreciate your efforts more. Telling them your throwing the toys away is kind of old and they won't take it quite as seriously. If she does not help clean her room, take her things away. Permanently. Teach her to earn what shes got. If she starts picking up and putting away whats on the floor while your putting things in the bag, then she might be thinking, "Hey, these are my things and Mom's going to give them to someone else" On the other hand, if she doesn't do anything and just sits and watches you pick things up, give them to charity. I know you probably spent alot of money on those clothes and toys but if shes not going to take care of her things, someone else will and they will appreciate them alot more. Let her know you mean business and make sure you follow up! Be consistent. Many times I will watch parents say that they get tired and give in to their kids. DON'T! DON'T! DON'T! OMG I can't tell you how aggrivated I feel when I see children dictating their parent's lives. Just remember, YOU ARE THE PARENT! Not her. (Oh and letting her know that everything she has is yours to take away might jog her enough to where she will help with picking things up.) I seriously hope this works. Oh, and one more thing. I was 8 when I started doing my own laundry. Have you thought about assigning chores?

I can relate. I have a 7 and a 9 year old. I also get so frustrated because i feel that i am always hounding them to clean. I always explain to them that it is imperitive the house stay clean and somewhat organized. They have seen what a difference a clean house can do for my sanity. After driving the point home with them a few times very seriously all I have to do now is mention that the mess is driving me crazy and they run to go clean it up before i get upset. I think that until they are older though, you just have to always stay on them about cleaning up after themselves and just hope that something sticks before they are on their own.

Wow! This is an issue around my house too! I have a girl 8 and twin boys 3 1/2. Toys were all over the house. Dirty clothes all over the floor, mostly from 8 year old. I know as soon as the boys are in complete charge of getting themselves dressed, there will be more clothes on the floor. Due to the toys being everywhere, making it an unsafe place to walk and get around, we have made a rule in our home. ALL TOYS MUST STAY UPSTAIRS. At first, we told them they can bring one toy down, but it must go back up in order to bring another down. This was to much to keep track of so they are not allowed to have any toys downstairs. It's not perfect around here, but it helps. If they start bringing toys down, they know the rule and when I say "back up stairs", they don't give me grief.
If you don't have a two story house, try making your rule...ALL TOYS MUST STAY IN YOUR ROOM. I hope this helps. Happy Day.

My cousin has a system that works great with her two boys. She told the kids that if she sees it not in the place it belongs, it goes inthe trash. They didn;t believe her for a while until she threw away an Xbox game but now they get the picture and no more mess around the house!