Advice on 12 Year-old Shaving Hairy Thighs....

Hi J., you got tons of good responses, and i just had one more to note. Think about how the comment that the boy said in High School made you feel. Do you really want your daughter to have to feel the same way? The pressures and standards that you felt in 9th grade, is what 12 yr olds are going through now. It is just the times we live in unfortunately. Support her confidence in every way you can, that meaning her inside as well as her outside.

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Nair is all chemicals so no surprise that she broke out in a rash. I tried it on myself and didn't like it so I won't give it to my almost 11 year old.. if you are already letting her do her shins, why not the front of her thighs? Just tell her that the hair doesn't really grow on the back of her thighs so no need to shave (mine doesn't anyway!). good luck

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In my opinion... let her do it and let her do her whole leg esp if it makes her feel more comfortable in her own skin. It's hard enough being a teenager.. and a teenagers mom without having to fight this kind of battle.

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As a former hairy girl myself I say let her do it!! No reason for her to wait to hear the cruel comments before you let her remove the hair, right? You still remember that nasty high school boy, and I remember one, too. Why make your daughter go through it?

I use Sally Hanson body hair remover on my arms and it's great! Smells good, too. Just leave it on for the minimum time and wipe off a small area, and leave it on longer if the hair is still there. That way you'll figure out how long to leave it on her and she shouldn't get a rash.

This is all advice I'll have to follow myself in a few years with my three year old -- only she's got it on her back, too. Sigh ;)

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You could try "Veet" which has a tool similar to a razor but with no blade. It would be a safe way to practice.Just be sure they really wash off the cream from their hands. I think, if you were embarrassed, you'll want to save them from that. A lot of things seem to hapen younger these days, but leg hair probably isn't worth a battle. You can use tris as a basis for good body care and hygiene.

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What a nightmare, J.! My girls are the same age and I see it already in their friends. I am sorry I don't have any advice about hair removal, but I do think it is time we start asking ourselves the more difficult questions: Why are pre-pubescent girls so concerned about shaving their legs? Is this really what we want for our daughters? Is it impossible to enjoy childhood in the culture that we live in? If not, how do we help our children enjoy this precious time? In prayer, S. F.

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Why not just let her shave? She's twelve...let her handle her own body.

In response to a previous poster, 12 is not necessarily prepubescent. When I was 12, I was 5 foot 6", wore a C cup, had had my period for a year, and had the body hair of an adult woman.

Adolescence is tough enough for a girl without the mother creating arbitrary rules that don't help the child in any way....

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I would definitely let her shave the whole leg - think of the long run and her future. In other words, in a couple of years she'll probably be shaving anyway, not using the hair removal creams. At 12, it's actually not too early, in my opinion. Some of this is made worse by the fact that kids can be mean and you don't want her to be made fun of, for sure. It does seem like girls grow up faster and faster, but you want her to feel good about herself and be as confident as she can be. Just try to present it as something you do for hygiene, like bathing and getting a hair cut, and hopefully she won't take this as a sign that she can act like and be a teenager just yet. I hope it all goes well for you. It is definitely tough to be an adolescent girl, as I remember very well!

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Hair is hair. If the hair is there and you know her level of concern then why not. If you are worried about her cutting herself, you could help her the first few times. BTW, front or back is irrelevant. I think saying you can do the front but not the back is kind of strange, Kids can be cruel and neither of you want her to become known as the girl with the hairy legs.

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I say... let her do it. I started fully shaving my legs around 12. She is at a sensitive age, and other kids can be pretty cruel about things like that. I don't really think there is any harm in it, as long as she is not trying to show off for boys and it doesn't sound like she is (I certainly wasn't when I started). Also, if her leg hair is as thick as it sounds, chances are she has enough of it on the back of her legs to verify shaving that part too. In fact, I think it's sort of silly to let her shave the front, but not the back - she will still know it's there, and her friends/peers will see the backs of her legs, too!

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What about just letting her do the front? I don't really get hair on the back of my legs and its light and fine so I don't do mine all the time. If you don't really want her shaving them yet what about those longer shorts that go to the knees I'm not that old but when I was in school no tanktops and shorts had to be at the knee or you were sent back home to change.

I also hated nair I know they have some kind of thing that is like a sandpaper that is supossed to remove hair. that might be worth a shot instead of the nair or shaving.

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Hi J.,

I'd totally let her shave .... There are so many girls out there with thin hair & so many with thick hair ( I too was cursed w/thick dark hair - ick!). There are some great shaving gels out there too! And not only that - I bought some "smooth away" pads - I do one good shave when it's grown out & then each day I just use the pads & my legs get silky smooth! And it's easy to use. I'd suggest letting her shave & then getting her those smooth away hair removal pads - 100% painless!!!! trust me - I've tried EVERYTHING!!!! and these are great - I ended up getting them for all my older nieces, sister-in-laws & even my mom!!! - the are awesome!!! and she can keep up the bulk of it instead of having to shave all the time - with those. Then she can shave only when it's really necessary or whatever. Good luck!

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I too grew up with hairy legs. My concern for your daughter is how easy it is to cut yourself as a beginning shaver.

My mother gave my sister and I electric shavers and they worked great. After doing a little google search, it seems that there are quite a few options out there. Let her shave whatever she wants. Next thing you know, it'll be her head ;D

I say stay away from Nair and any chemicals like that. That's plain stinky and unpleasant.

Shaving hair doesn't change its thickness or color. The color, location, thickness and length of hair on your body depend on genetics and hormones.

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Hi J.,
I agree with others that say to let her get rid of the hair.

However, I'd suggest an alternative method to shaving. I know in the U.S. everyone shaves, but in other places women wax or use an epilator (a machine similar to an electric shaver that removes the hair from the root), which is painful at first but you get used to it quickly. Believe me, both of these methods cut down on the amount of hair that grows back in, the texture of the hair that grows back in, and how often the hair grows back. (Since both methods are basically pulling hair out from the root, they produce the same effects.)

I personally use an epilator. I'm of Spanish descent which means I'm HAIRY, and it's BLACK hair. With the epilator I don't have to be as constant as with the razor, and the hair is smooth and soft, not hard and stubly, when it grows back in.

I have seen epilators in the JCPenny and Sears catalogues, I believe. (I got mine overseas.) The machines last years and require no maintenance whatsoever. FYI I don't use it on my bikini line. Only legs and underarms.

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I would probably let both girls shave if they're feeling uncomfortable about it. I'd second the advice to get them electric shavers - it's virtually impossible to cut yourself with one of those. Nair has some pretty harsh chemicals in it, so I wouldn't recommend it to anyone with sensitive skin - the fumes aren't great either.

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You should definitely let your 12 year old shave her thighs. Remember your own experience with the boy that embarrassed you? Do you really want that for your daughter? Shaving now or waiting a few years isn't going to make much of a difference in the long run. She is going to get darker hair on her thighs. That is just the way that it is. You can't stop that from happening so just help her make the right choice as to how to do it. I don't use Nair as it makes me break out in a rash. But you could also suggest a sugar wax to her or a regular wax. There are lots of ways to remove hair.

You are lucky that your daughter is so obedient. My mother tried to tell me not to shave my thighs and I did it anyway while at a friends house.

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I say let her shave. Shaving doesn't really change the color or texture of the hair. It doesn't affect the root at all.

I think it's assumed that it does because once people get to the point of feeling the "need" to shave the hair is getting more noticeable anyway.

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You didn't mention what exactly is concerning you - since you do let her shave her lower legs, I don't quite understand the issue but am guessing you think she'll cut herself? Personally, I always found it easier to shave my thighs than the lower part of my leg - but if that's your concern, why not let her use an electric razor?

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Hi there! I feel for your child. I know I have sensitive skin myself and NAIR was awful. Have you heard of Yves Rocher before? They have awesome all natural, cruelty free and gentle products. Here's one that might help out alot.
Good Luck! ~L.

Hair Minimizing Body Lotion
http://www.yvesrocherusa.com/control/product/~category_id...

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It's hard when kids wear shorts so short these days. I would say shave to the curve on the outside of the leg right above the knee and not higher. I still have horrifying images of a friend in high school that shaved all the way up and it came in the back of her legs like hair from another place. Honestly my sister is only a year older and I flat out told her. Unless you are crazy hairy that high don't bother. Most peoples upper thighs aren't that hairy especially that young.

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Hi! As a hairy lady myself, I feel the pain.

I don't think there's anything wrong with shaving your thighs, I know people have said so in the past, though I'm not sure why. I'd avoid the Nair. I used in a couple times in HS. It burns your skin and leaves the hair and stinks to high heaven. It can't possibly be good for you, though I have no science to back that up. Go ahead and let her shave... just wait till the bikini wax questions come up!

Good luck... this is a really tough age, for girls especially.
Peace,
L.

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If she is that uncomfortable about it you should help her find a solution. Someone mentioned longer shorts - why not! In a great design and slim fit she would look great! 12 is around the time girls do get more conscious. So if a hair removal cream has to be tried just do so. It is not in the same category as make-up or pedicures. It's like removing underarm hair. Nair didn't work for me, but Veet is much better. Sandpapering can give you burns and takes a lot of time and patience. Girls aren't high-maintenance they just need guidance.
All the best!

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I think you should let her shave as much of her legs as she wants to... self-esteem becomes such a fragile thing at this age, you want to help her feel good about her body image as much as you can. Go shopping together & show her a few options... electric or not, etc. Maybe buy her a few "extras" like body wash or nail polish, and maybe have lunch together while you're at it. Turn it into a positive mother-daughter experience. :)

Let her shave. You know how embarrassed you were. Help her out! I am sure this is easy for me (mine is 8 mos old, and I don't have to worry about this for forever ;) Too soon, I'm sure. Good luck!

J., its no big deal and a no-brainer besides.
Let the hairy girls shave if that is what makes them feel comfortable.
I guess I do not understand your enormous quandry over this issue.
Of course it will take twice as long to shave, they are shaving twice as much leg.
Why , in the name of everything holy, would anyone shave the front of their legs and not the back?
Would you?
IF Nair causes an outbreak try another delapitory, yes?
Either that or there are many fine long handled safety razors today with multiple cutter blades. A can of shave gel will help them not to cut themselves altho we all do when we start, yes? Give them some instructions, how to hold the razor flat and draw it slowly.
The hair is likely darkening after shaving because they are rapidly approaching puberty, not because of the shaving . Amount and color of hair I should think is a genetic thingy, not at all due to shaving.
Project yourself J., would you go out in shorts having shaved from the knee down?
Would you go out with lower leg and front of thigh shaved in a pair of shorts or swimsuit?
A very hairy person could likely have hair on the back of the thighs ( I did ) but most dont have much back there.
Adolescent daughters are generally much more sensitive about such things than mothers are.
Think back about how you felt about your appearrance when you were 12-15.
I cannot decide if your letter is a true request for advice or if you are pulling our legs !!! hehehe
Best wishes and God bless
Grandmother Lowell