P.G. asks from Lawndale, CA on March 19, 2008
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A.C. answers from Santa Barbara on March 19, 2008
Wow you have a full load, I remember these days clearly not too long ago. I decided to return to school when my daughters were ages 14 and 9. Along with a full time job. Two days out of the week to spend with your son are too few, especially if you juggle homework on these days. I tried online courses and succeeded, but again, strict schedule to keep. I finally decided to quit school as my oldest was drifting in a wrong direction. I feel for you, as I understand that you want a better life for you and your child by continuing your education. It was a very hectic and stressful period in my life and have put school aside for now as the income outways that dream for now. Good luck in your decision, but always remember family comes first. Best wishes....
1 mom found this helpful
J.D. answers from Los Angeles on March 19, 2008
The hard part about that is its your kids you have to say no to. You cant say no to a boss, or to a professor, so its the kids that suffer in all this. I would suggest since your son didnt ask to be in this position and has no voice, that its him you listen to the most and not say no to. The only way to do that is to drop on of the other things that takes you away from him. Once you lose the main bonding between mother and child you lose more than you think. My son was a daycare child and is now 12 and my daughter wasnt and is now 6, the difference in their since of security is astronomical. I was home the first 2 yrs. with my son and now the last 6 years. We live a different life without new cars or new things we want, but I didnt have kids for someone else to raise or to neglect them for material items. So the only way to lighten your load is to get rid of the load that is NOT necessary, for now.
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S.R. answers from Los Angeles on March 20, 2008
i did the same thing.
i know this sounds selfish, but you have to put yourself first. if you are not in good physical and mental/emotional health, you will not be able to take care of your child or do your schoolwork.
it has a lot to do with time management as well. make sure you always give yourself 8 hours everyday to sleep!! most important thing for a mom, im sure you know that! make sure you always have a protein bar/drink to curb hunger, always drink water for energy. who needs caffeine when you have good health?!
some of the best advice anyone ever gave me was, PLAY FIRST, WORK LATER. just dont forget about the later part!
i guess what im trying to say is make sure you always take a few minutes to relax everyday.
Y.K. answers from San Diego on March 22, 2008
Girl, I'm worn out just reading your mail. You poor thing, you are doing so much. I hope you have some familial support. I'm not in school or working outside the home, but I don't have to be to say the only thing you can do to 'not wear yourself out' is to let go of some things, if possible. You must be exhausted 'doing it all'....
Praying for you:)
H.G. answers from Los Angeles on March 19, 2008
Not sure of your request....please elaborate.....
M.B. answers from Los Angeles on March 20, 2008
Have you considered joining a support group for MOMs? There are also many community programs with the city, library, YMCA, etc.
I have 4 children (8, 5, 3 and 2). If you ever want to get together at the park or playgroup...let me know.
H.W. answers from Los Angeles on March 21, 2008
Hi,
I'm in the same situation, and it's tough. I do have joint custody with my sons father so he has him half the week and I have him the other, but between work, school and physical therapy 3 times a week (I suffer from chronic migraines)I'm just wiped out. My only real full day with my son is Sundays (he is 2). I don't do anything but play with him on Sunday, we will watch the same movie 4 times in a row if that's what he wants. I take him to the park to ride his bike, we build towers with blocks and it's the best day of the week =) I have also just started doing our Friday morning breakfasts. Every Friday, we go and get special dougnuts (they are special cause that's the only day he gets them), coffee (for me, he gets chocolate milk lol) and we throw pennies into a fountain. We decorated a jar for his pennies that he earns through out the week for being a good boy, using his manners etc and on Fridays he can throw as few or all of them into the fountain, we have a great time. We do have to wake up a little earlier in the morning to do this but so worth it. If you could start to plan little things like that on Mondays when he gets out of school, both of you will be happier. I look forward to our special breakfasts together. Also, just taking 10-15 minutes every night to read a book before bed will let your son know that you are making time for him. Lastly a strict schedule and organization is the key, or at least for me it is. Every Sunday after I cut coupons, I make my list of what needs to get done through out the week (laundry, bills to pay, homework, work projects, grocery shopping etc), I then break it down into small, accomplishable (that is the main thing to remember) daily to do lists and stick to the lists. Every task has a day and it stays on that day. If you just keep a running tab of what needs to be done in your head you will feel very over loaded but breaking it down day by day and being able to cross things off the list every day realy makes you feel like you have accomplished something and lowers stress levels so that you don't wear yourself out. I hope this helps- if you ever need an ear to listen, please let me know.
Good luck and it will get better! =)
Take care,
H.
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