We just found out last week that our nanny of 3 years is 7 weeks pregnant. She's not a live-in, but she works full-time for us, watching my 3 year old and 16 month old. She is like a second mother to my kids. I'm looking for some advice on how to handle this situation. I'm kind of assuming she will bring her baby to our house to watch along with my 2 kids. On the one hand, I see it as a good thing, because it will be another playmate for my kids, but on the other, we are paying her to watch our kids, and to have them get all of the attention. It will be only natural for her to need and want to pay attention to her child, all of which will take the focus off of our children. Plus, it's like we're paying her to watch her own child. We want her to continue working for us, as does she, so does anyone have any advice or experience with this type of situation, cause we're stumped on how to handle it!
If you need fill-in care, our babysitter works for a company that provides nannies on a short-term or substitute basis. I don't know the name, but I can find out if you're interested.
Hi, I think you and your husband need to 1st decide what you are ok with then sit down and talk to her.
First off you answered your own question when you said that your nanny is like a second mother to your children. As a nanny for many families my daughter and i have added lasting extended family ties over the years. We keep in touch with families that have moved do to career choices as will as moving on choices I have made for us. I as a nanny and a mom have valued the expierences from the mom's I worked for over the years. We who choose to become nanny mom's integate our family lives before and after we have our own children. In other words your nanny will still be the same person you hired. Be happy! This just may be a great experience for all of you!
Hi K.,
I wouldn't assume anything. She could be assuming that you realize that the birth of her baby will signal the end of her service to your family! You need to talk to her about this right away.
My thoughts tend to be that once she has the newborn, and brings the baby with her, she will definitely not be able to devote the same time & attention to your two. Maybe she is planning to have someone else watch her baby so she can still nanny for you? Maybe you guys could work out a PT situation with her and another nanny? In any event, you'll need to decide IF you want her to continue IF she will be bringing the baby & go forward from there with your decision. It depends on a lot of separate factors, O. of them being how much you think she really needs the nanny income. I'd talk to her right away.
what did she say to you? was she expecting to go right back to her work? have to think about some downtime when she won't be watching your kids. maternity leave
How far along is she? Sending your dtr to preschool?
you say she is a like a 2nd mom, does she live with you? or comes in for the day? Was she gonna bring baby with her? or maybe she was getting someone to watch baby?
Your daughter will get a kick out of the little one and can learn much from the baby, kinda like a baby sister
and really would sit down and talk things out, expectations and what your comfortable with, could be good thing. I had 5 kids in 8 years no help and did soccer, dance, gymanstics, etc so it can be done.
I think it can work if both parties want it to work. You can offer for her to continue to work for you and bring her child, but lower the pay some because she is bringing her child. Also, I have been a nanny before in that situation. I paid just as much attention to the other children as I did my child. Of course, it may be a little easier if the children are old enough to play together. It can work, but then again, if it doesn't work out, at least you tried. Also, does she even want to continue after she has her baby? Good luck with everything!
Hi K.,
My daughter just went through a similar situation. Her nanny of three years was so wonderful that when my daughter said she was interviewing a new nanny, I was somewhat taken aback. A few months later, I met the new nanny. She is great -- younger, educated and completely devoted to my granddaughters. The girls took to her without any problems, so I would say to you, don't fear this change... it may be an opportunity for something even better.
Good luck,
N
hmmmm, that's a tough one.
Just my quick impressions upon the first read through. I think first off, you and your nanny need to have several talks about whether or not she wants to continue working for you. I don't know her but if this is her first, her mind could change as she gets closer to delivery, you might want to have a back up.
more to come
Think about if you will give her a maternity leave and who will watch your kids then.
Personally, i can't see her being able to devote the time and energy that she needs to her newborn, while doing a good job taking care of your kids as well. I know that sounds dumb since plenty of mom's have more than one kid and it doesn't mean they don't take care of the older ones, BUT i know I personally needed alot of help to take care of my 2 year old when my baby was born. And he was MY son. I was exhausted and hormonal and it took a long time to get my feet under me. I don't doubt she loves your kids. And maybe she would handle it better than i did. But not knowing her, i would suggest looking for new help or at least having some back up options.
If between the two of you, she does stay on. I would also have a plan in place for dealing with your children. they may be exscatic over the baby or they maybe a little jealous. you might want to prepare them and also spend a little one on one time with them once she delivers.
as always, just my opinion personality and past experiences with your Nanny will help you decide how it might best work out.
