Advice Needed - 4 Year Old Gets Upset Having Picture Taken

Just try and simply ask her "why" she does not like anyone take her picture. Just approach it in a non-stressful non-judgmental way and without criticism.

Perhaps it's a phase, and perhaps she has a legitimate 'reason' for it. Bearing in mind that for young children, 'their' reason for it may or may not make sense to us 'adults.'

It's interesting that she is so adamant about it and even will cry & get hysterical or will not face the camera, AND that it has been going on for over a year ago. Try not to show your irritation about it to her.

Maybe, get her her own camera. There are 'kids' cameras in stores. Or check out Amazon. Maybe being the one who takes the photos will make her feel better about it.

If it were me, I would not force it. But rather, try to just let her be. Maybe she had a bad experience about taking pictures once, which even a parent may not be aware of. Or maybe she was forced to do so before, and it made it soured the event for her.

Usually, kids like to take pictures. Just ask her why, and accept her answer. It seems to scare her a LOT and gets her very upset.... that is not a response which you want to force in a young child.

All the best,
Susan

Hi P.,

On the norm, children are usually happy to get their pictures taken. I would consult an expert. Good luck to you!

P. - I am a professional photographer and it used to make me crazy when my own child would not let me take his photo. So I completely understand where you are coming from. When I'm working with a child here are some things I do to earn cooperation:
1. Use a digital camera so I can show them the results of the photo - I usually have to show them a few but they really get a kick out of the instant results. With my own son I figured out that he loved to watch the video, so I let him sing a song or do something goofy and video it with my Canon Power Shot (tiny point and shoot).

2. I use fun props to get their attention or distract them from what I am actually doing. It makes it fun so they will enjoy the sitting. I am not above jumping up and down, acting like a monkey or blowing bubbles.

Maybe this will help?
-E.
www.ephotola.com

I have difficulty with my son as well but he has some developmental delays with communication and that doesn't appear to be the case with your daughter. We've been lucky enough to have found a great kiddie photo studio here in Las Vegas/Henderson that has been successful at getting some really great photos of our son. What the photographers there do is really ham it up and do silly things to make him laugh and then the click the picture just as he is breaking into a huge grin. The name of the studio is Portrait Innovations. Maybe you have one in your area and, if so, hopefully they have someone who has a big, over the top kid personality to help you get some great shots of your daughter.

As for your daughter's resistance about being photographed... I can't answer that one for you. My 4-year old daughter loves being photographed but she is terrified of the wind. Unfortunately, fears are not always rational. Or maybe your daughter has some kind of sensory issue. Maybe the flash of the camera hurts her eyes or disturbs her somehow. Hopefully this is a phase and it will pass soon enough.

Wishing you and your family all the best.

My son had the same issue. Later I figured out that he was thinking that he cannot pose well enough for good pictures. Now that we went through a phase of extensive praising of how handsome he looks in the pictures, he has overcomed it and no problems anymore

Maybe it's better if you're not there to make a big deal about it beforehand. Does she have a toy camera of her own or real one designed for kids? She might like to feel in control of the camera for once, so let her snap away.

Switch roles. - Give her a camera to take photos of whatever she wants. 4 tear olds want to be independent and don't like to be told what to do all the time. Get a disposable one with film....drop off/pick up - let her open them. Admire all her images. Then you can indicate what a great job she did, and how you wished you had a picture of her with her camera...She may be so proud that she will pose for you and understand now "why" you want to take pictures of the family. Hope this helps.

It's a stage. All of my kids went through it at some point. For my youngest's last birthday portraits, he was sitting on my lap and I was bouncing him just to get him to calm down. I've accepted the fact that for a certain period of time I will not get good pictures.
One thing that helped is changing photographers. We tried Sears, Penny's, Target...the only place he didn't scream is Kiddie Kandids. I think it is because it is an open space. No closed in dark rooms that get hot and stuffy. It's always bright and no rooms to go into.
You should find out who did the photography for the preschool portraits and what they did diferently. Some professional school studio's wil d private family sessions. That's more pricey though. It depends on how badly you want to picture. I think your daughter will grow out of it though. Just stay calm.

buy her a cheap digital camera, they sale them for kids and they are inexpensive. let her take pictures of you and family members. ask the photographer if she can take a picture of him. make a deal with her, you take his picture and then he can take ours.

I would suggest not emphasizing the picture taking. My son would not smile for a picture and we tried everything, then I said show me your teeth and it looked like a smile! Maybe one of those studios meant for kids would work better. Try playing with your daughter and catching her at a happy moment. When you do get the picture, let her see it and emphasize what a good picture she took and what a pretty girl she is.

Sometimes my 2 y/o doesn't want her picture taken - from what I understand this is fairly common for young children. I wouldn't worry - she'll allow her picture to be taken eventually :)

How about giving your child a camera (a cheap disposable)--let them take all the pictures they want. Make a huge deal about getting them developed, go pick up the pictures, and maybe repeat the process. Maybe all they need to do is be in control of the process a few times to see it's no big deal to have a picture taken. Worth a try!
L.

It is no doubt a phase, but not to be ignored. She needs a camera of her own to take pictures with. When she enjoys it taking pics she will then recipricate by later posing.

I used to have a similar problem with my 3 year old daughter. If you have a digital camera, try letting her play around with it at home. My daughter had fun snapping pictures of her brothers and mommy & daddy, then instantly seeing them in the screen. It helped her warm up to the "camera". Good Luck!

It's a phase, my 4 year old is in the middle of it too right now. I think the last decent studio picture taken of him was when he turned three and my sister (one of his favorite people in the world!) was the photographer - and I still had to stand behind her and do rediculous, silly things to coax a smile! He, like your daughter, did sit and (kind of) smile for a preschool picture in the fall - I think it was kind of a peer pressure thing - he saw all the other kids do it without a fuss so he did too. I think it also helps when there isn't the pressure of a parent there. We're going to do studio photos this weekend with his grandma and I'm using reverse physchology on him "Sister and grandma and getting pictures in a couple of days, but you don't want to do it too, do you?" and of course wanting to do EVERYTHING the new baby does he responds with "Yes, I'm getting my picture too! He's even tried on his picture outfit and said he really likes it..." So we'll see! Not too much advice here, just know that it's definitely a phase and a personality driven action, and I'm sure they'll get over it relatively soon! In the mean time just get the best candid shots you can, and then you can blow them up and frame the best ones - I try to catch him playing in the sand box, or running through the yard, dancing in the rain, licking a lollypop - these are the best pics and memories anyway ;)

could it be b/c of the flash? ask her..maybe the flash bothers her eyes..it bothers my 3 year old son's eyes.

I was curious to see if I was right - that she was your first-born. It's often the 1st-borns who are very camera-shy. In fact, they are generally pretty shy. First born or not (because it certainly can be the opposite!) if a child's temperament isn't tolerant of stuff like this, it's not usually going to change until they are much older. I find these types (and I know many, many!) are generally intelligent people who have strong personalities and are more the leader types - NOT the followers. And that's all good, but if you go and force these types of kids to "smile" and do things that go against their nature, it can be significant for them and they feel almost violated. It's just not "them". Truly, I know what I'm saying, so just be patient with her, and let HER show you the pace she's comfortable with. Once you show her you respect her personal space (and her personality) everything will get easier. Remember, work with personality, not against it.
M.

Hi P.,
It's just a phase. My son wouldn't let me take his picture for the longest time. I have lots of pictures of his hand. He is 6 now and only let's me take his picture of he's making a funny face or posing. It's hard to get a nice/serious picture.

Do the best you can to take pictures when she's not paying attention. Hopefully this will pass soon.

Good luck.