Advice from Parents with ADHD Kids

All three of my boys have ADHD along with other diagnosis' as well. They've grown up knowing they think differently than other kids and haven't had any problems with it. I think she is old enough to understand what you want to share with her, it may help her to open up with you when she runs into troubles, too. Especially since you have experienced a lot of what she will be experiencing as she grows older. Puberty is right around the corner and too many "changes" at one time may be overwhelming to her. I think I would tell her now so she can get a handle on it before other things start changing on her, too.

Good luck - S.

My husband was diagnosed ADD at 24. He went through life frustrated because everyone called him an "airhead." He is still extremely sensitive about being forgetful. Our 7 year was diagnosed with ADHD and she understands that her meds help her calm and focus. We just explained to her that she is very smart and that she has so many wonderful ideas in her head that she wants to work on that she needs help in picking just one at a time. We are able to tell her that she takes the same meds as Daddy and they help him with the same things. She has never felt stigmatized, but she is also younger than your daughter. I don't know if that will change as she ages. I think your plan is good. Just being able to relate to you and your experiences will help her, I think.

C.

M.,
It sounds like you have put a lot of considerate thought into this and how it will affect your child. My concern with not telling her is that ultimately one day you will tell her, and is lying to her the lesson you want her to get? You risk her feeling betrayed by you, by NOT telling her.
Unfortunately, you will not be able to protect her from overhearing inconsiderate adults. Just as we cannot follow them arround the playgournd and protect them from every injustice (and believe me if I could I would.) This is part of growing up. You will lead her through this by your example. Should you tell her now? Only you can answer that question. Obviously you are working with qualified professionals who know her and you. Seek out their advice. They will be able to guide you in finding the "right" time to give her more details about her ADHD.
My neice is 13 and has severe ADHD. My sister monitors her medication and therapies very closely. Most people are shocked to hear she has ADHD. Which is the point, right? People see her, not the disorder.
You are doing a wonderful job momma. Don't doubt your choices. It sounds like your child is blossoming, and you should pat yourself on the back that you are keeping her best interests in the forefront.
Good luck to you both. I hope you find the answers and guidance you are looking for.

M.,
My daughter was diagnosed at age 5, too. However, we told her right from the begining what was going on and why she needed to take a pill everyday. Over the years she has learned techniques to control her behavior without the meds and hopes to be off completely by age 13 (she's 11 now). She knows the meds aren't a "cure-all" thing and that she needs to work and do her part at keeping things under control. Another note, don't worry about what other parents say. Until they have experienced it personally they can't possibly know; most don't have a clear/accurate picture of what ADHD is.

Hi M.

Yes, you definitely need to tell her about ADHD. Don't know what school system she is in, but it is difficult for them to do well in school. I have grandchildren with ADHD, they are on medication, however the one struggled in school until he was diagnois with ADHD. Then some of the teachers still gave him a hard time, because of his actions. Either go to the library or on the internet and get books on her level so she will understand what is going on in her life and why.

Good Luck

P.

Hi M.,
At 9 years old, I think your daughter is old enough to talk to about it. I think it might help her better understand herself. And, it will probably make her feel more open to talk about problems she may be having, especially if she knows that you understand and feel some of the same things. As far as telling other people, no one else needs to know unless she wants to tell them. And, if you give her the correct information, maybe little comments she overhears won't be as hurtful.
Good Luck!
A.

Hi,
There are many many, books out there written at a childs level. One that comes to mind and I've not read it in a while is, "Sometimes I drive My Mom Crazy, But I know She's Crazy About Me". You can buy it at the Self Esteem shop, on-line or the bricks and mortar on Woodward. But there many others, at this age reading with a message is a great way to share information, lessons etc.
L.

I know of a natural way to eliminate the ADHD all together. If you want to hear about it, let me know. Studies at University of California Berkley have proven this method effective. I'd love to help!

S.
____@____.com

M.,
I can't provide input on how to address the diagnosis wiht your daughter but there is a great book out there on natural ways to help treat ADHD (along with Allergies, Asthma, and Autism). It's called "Healing the New Childhood Epidemics" by Dr., Kenneth Bock. Dr. Bock treats all kinds of kids from all over the country who suffer from these disorders. In many cases, he's shown that he can help kids with ADHD by simply altering their diets (cutting out some foods) and by using supplements (like one poster mentioned below - B12). I've always been a skeptic about homeopathic healing but my sister in law used these methods with her son who is on the autism spectrum and his diagnosis was just "upgraded" to aspergers. Honestly, since going on the special diet and starting supplements, he's a totally different little boy. It sounds like you and your daughter are fortunate enough that your ADHD doesn't completely interfere with your lives but if these methods can help you to virtually eliminate the effects of your disorder, or at least minimize them, I think it's worth a try. Best of luck!

Hi,

I would communicate with your child and tell her that she was diagnosed with ADHD and inform her on what that means. I know you are just trying to protect your child but it is important to remember that actions set an example...you would never want your child to hide something from you :o) On another note, I have read that ADHD is related to a deficiency of folic acid and either vitamin B12 or B6 (can't remember which)...gosh I wish I remembered the specifics :o( I think it was B6 (which is sold in a sublingual tablet). Anyways, that is something you could research. Lastly, child with ADHD can get additional help in school. For example some children get additional time on test and a quiet room to take the exam. Contact her school for additional information. Best of luck!

Hi M.! I agree with Jennifer. My son is fully aware of what he has and that is the first tool to handling it. He is on Strattera and we love that it is not a controlled substance. He is able to help us with it. He is nine now and is learning, with the medicine ways to deal with his energy. I tell him the first step is being aware of your behavior and using the tools we have taught him to help. He still is unable to fully control his actions without the medicine, but will hopefully come in time. He is very bright and the top of his class. Some say the medicine is not neccessary and every situation is different, my son would not be as happy as he is without it, it has helped so much. Good luck and don't worry about other people and their uneducated remarks. Life it to short to let other people bother you or your daughter. God made her a certain way and it is up to us, with his help to help her meet her potential.

I'm always suspect of ADHD diagnosis, even in adults, but I will assume you're confident in your research that you addressed the vast misdiagnosis that exist.

SO, if there is no doubt that she is not of superior intelligence, doesn't have food allergies or isn't sleep deprived, I would certainly talk frankly with her. Otherwise she'll figure it out herself and your evasion could look to her like shame. Sounds like you have a good understanding of it and your experience will help you both.

If you have any reason to suspect she's gifted, here's a good book: Misdiagnosis And Dual Diagnoses Of Gifted Children And Adults: Adhd, Bipolar, Ocd, Asperger's, Depression, And Other Disorders, Webb
http://www.amazon.com/Misdiagnosis-Diagnoses-Gifted-Child...
They clearly distinguish the subtle differences, although the solutions are not as easy to attain as the meds.