February 27, 2008,
L.B. asks from West Fork, AR on February 22, 2008
Advice for Child Psychology/Gentle, Positive Discipline Books/Other Resources?
Hi! I'm almost 6 months pregnant and want to learn as much as I can about being a good parent in guiding our child through the usual behavioral issues and in growing up emotionally secure, confident, kind, responsible, and all of the other things we parents hope for our children.
What resources have you moms found to be wise, insightful and really helpful in real life?
So What Happened?™
Thanks, everyone, for all of your advice and book recommendations! I have a lot to work with now, and will spend some time at the library looking up some of these books.
J.C. answers from Tuscaloosa on February 23, 2008
The Baby Wise books are good, Dr Spock, and Baby whisperer.
Google Authoritative Parenting and strive to abide by those principles. Psychologically speaking, that is the parenting type that is the best and raises the happiest, most mentally sound children.
J.K. answers from Birmingham on February 23, 2008
You've got some good advice from Anna M. Read BabyWise (& BabyWise II), John Rosemond is good, along with James Dobson, who wrote Dare to Discipline and The Strong-Willed Child (and more).
A.M. answers from Oklahoma City on February 23, 2008
Starting early with BabyWise (a little intense for some) or the BabyWhisperer (a toned down babywise). I like John Rosemond who has a syndicated column and a website (www.rosemond.com); sometimes he can be condescending but he does have good advice and overall message.
S.W. answers from Alexandria on February 23, 2008
The best book that I have found is by a christian author. It discusses Foundations for Biblical Childrearing and Shepherding Through the Stages of Childhood. This book covers communication, discipline, what is going on with your child's heart, how to protect their hearts while still raising them to be Christ like, etc. I sent the book to my husband while he was deployed. He could not put it down and came back with such a fire to begin a new way of raising our children. The book is called Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. Good luck with finding the right book for you, I hope this helps.
D.M. answers from Lawton on February 22, 2008
You're on a great track already! I believe that consistency, follow-through, being a good role model, and communication are truly essential. I subscribe to several parenting magazines as well as on-line newsletters, and they are always full of great information, too. To be honest, you'll know in your heart of hearts what is right for you and your family. God bless and happy parenting!
S.B. answers from Texarkana on February 23, 2008
One of the important things to remember is that what works for someone else won't necessarily work for you or your child. Each child, even if you have more than one yourself, requires individual treatment for their individual personalities. Also, whatever discipline you choose to use, remember that it must be something you can live with as a parent: like if you tell your child he or she isn't allowed to do something but keeping the child from it interferes with something you do yourself.
I found myself reading anything and everything I could get my hands on and going to every parenting class I could attend. You have to take everything with a grain of salt, so to speak. But I personally, don't think you can learn too much and the learning never seems to end no matter how old the child becomes.
The public library and parenting magazines were great resources for me.
S.B. answers from Little Rock on February 23, 2008
Hands down, the best discipline book is "Dare to Discipline" by Dr. James Dobson. Sounds like you are doing things right already! Congratulations on your little one!
A.W. answers from Biloxi on February 25, 2008
Just that you are so open to advice and so concerned about giving your baby all the best is already a good indicator that she's being born into an emotionally secure home with loving, devoted parents. You can read all the books you can find (I did) but I found that the best advice and best information came from my friends and co-worker who have children of their own. Alot of the people who write those books are doctors who don't even have children. Although you can find lots of good facts, the best advice comes from those who have been there and done that.
Just remember that children are products of their environments. And they are products of genetics. So some things you can't control. But if you decide from the beginning that you want to use positive re-inforcement, then stick to it. If you decide you want to incorporate spanking or time-out into punishment when necessary, stick to it. Kids need routines and as little confusion as possible; consistency. You have to let them know that you are their parents and you want the best for them. And when you need help, you shouldn't be afraid to ask someone. Children are smart and it starts very early. You will be very surprised. But the more loving and patient you are with them, the more likely they are to be calm children that you can be proud to take to a restaurant and not worry about getting thrown out.
Good luck on an easy delivery.
A.C. answers from Alexandria on February 24, 2008
It sounds like you are off to a good start. Before I had children I read that 85% of a child's psychological being is formed by the age of five. So, much of what a child experiences the first five years will determine how your child turns out as an adult. It helped me decide to stay home with my children through those early years. The love of a mother and father cannot be replaced...God planned for "the family" in the beginning with Adam and Eve. The sacrifice you make will all be worthwhile! A child must bond with his/her mother. MOPS is a ministry for moms at East Leesville Baptist that encourages mothers, and gives them a break from time to time. So lots of love and consistent discipline is a good start. Your child is worth it!
C.H. answers from Pine Bluff on February 22, 2008
I think you have already made a good start I've found the more positive you display to your children they will pick up on it so make sure you all display what you want in your child. They learn by what we do not just by what we say. Good Luck!! God Bless!!
M.T. answers from Mobile on February 27, 2008
My husband and I read "The New Dare to Discipline" by Dr. James Dobson when we were pregnant with our first child. Our boys are 10 and 13 now, and they are wonderful.