Advice for a Friend with a 4Th Grader Who Keeps Failing...

Hope this response isnt too late, but I offer this advise. Help your friend set up some time where she and her daughter can be alone together, maybe if there are sibblings, you might offer to sit with the others.

With such a bright girl, it could be that there is something else bothering her. It could be a broad range of reasons why she isnt doing well in class, from boys to failing to stay "cool", or any other assortment of possibilities.

When mom and daughter are alone, maybe they could go to the park alone to get some talk time or maybe get an ice cream or go for a brisk walk in a new neighborhood, but avoid crowded places like stores or movie theatres where the chance to talk isnt there.

Relax during the upcoming holiday break and enjoy hands on chances for math and science (cooking) or creative thinking and writing (story telling) and start next semester with a bright new outlook.

Set up a homework time where she could do it alone first and then when errors are found on her assignments try to ask her what was wrong and why it was wrong. If she catches her own errors, then she may master the subject and see her mistakes when in the classroom.

Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

Perhaps the classwork bores her? When I was in 3rd grade, they tested and placed me in the Talented & Gifted class for precisely this reason. My classwork was falling behind because I was bored. So, maybe she needs to be challenged?

I was a kid like that. My teacher was the problem though. Sometimes anxiety or a teacher's demeaner makes the child discourage easier. I would consider switching teachers. I would also suggest Mom have lunch with her child at school once in awhile. It has helped me pinpoint problems and possible distractions with my two sons age 5 and 9. Hope this helps. Also, mom needs to put her hands on the top of her daughter's head when she can,just softly, and reassure her of how smart and wonderful and talented she is, especially before going to school. Praise her constantly since the failing and fear of failing will hurt her self-esteem. She needs to know she is great and worthwhile at home and at school! God bless!

Maybe she should look into homeschooling? www.homeschool.com

I did the same thing in 4th grade. I was bored! The subject matter was...so 3rd grade....
Have the girl tested to see if she should be in an advanced learning group (usually reading and math are advanced at this grade level). Has a parent/teacher conference been held? The teacher should have some insight as to why she isn't responding in class. Has Mom sat in on class?
Just suggestions.
A.

well i have a 4th grader too and he was having trouble. but his problem was too much tv,video games, and playing with friends.he always wanted to do his homework with the tv on. so it took him like 3 hours to finish.so i put my foot down and stopped all that. i also took him to check his vision and found that he was having problems.put him in tutoring, and now he is doing much better. i dont know if this may help, but good luck.

Has anyone asked the young girl why her grades are so different from homework to classwork? Sometimes the child is better at telling us what is wrong than we are at figuring it out on our own.

My son has strabismus and I suspect she may have a vision problem. Please ask your friend to read Dear Abby today about convergence insufficiency. http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/ for 4/17/07

As a former elementary teacher myself, I would highly recommend that you visit your child's class and see what is actually going on in the way of instruction. It is the teacher's responsibility to ensure that she is providing every accomodation and support that she can to ensure your child is successful in her class. I would also visit with your campus principal and let them know what is going on. A teacher cannot simply fail a student before trying to reach her via modifications or alternate methods of instruction. Make sure the teacher isn't just teaching to the whole class. Teachers must also provide one on one or small group instruction to the strugglers.