Advice Appreciated - Champaign,IL

Maybe have his mom go to their local police station and ask them if they have any programs that show troubled teens how their lives could end up. If she knows a police officier have him pick the teen up as if being arrested and then sit down and talk to him at the station (without him knowing that it was set up) Sounds like he really needs something to scare the you know what out of him!! :) Another option could be instead of grounding him when he does something wrong have her find a local volunteer program. She can set up a community service type deal for him and when he gets in trouble he can do community service. Not only would that discipline him but it would also help the community and maybe he will see other people struggling due to their life decisions!

It may be a bit harsh, but as this isn't the first time and his actions are putting sister in a bad situation, it may be time to look into some sort of "rehab". Not specifically drug rehab, but there are some homes that work with troubled teens and help them turn their lives around. It's possible even the threat of such could wake him up.

I've heard from several young women who had gone through these programs and how much it had helped them.

It sounds like he had too much free time without adult supervision. He needs an adult home when he gets home from school. Check the local big brothers organizations and such. He has been free and not having to be accountable for anything, so he's still doing childish things. Someone needs to be on him like glue right now or it will get a lot worse.

I'm so glad that you are supporting your sister. She is doing the right thing by trying to get him on the right track.
I have a 22 year old sister, and my mother didn't care enough to make the hard choices to help her and well...lets just say she's done the worst of the worst and she's not done yet. I don't know what the answer is, but I do know that doing nothing is the worst thing she could do.
Personally I like the "Boot Camp" idea.
Tell your sister to hang in there! I will pray for her strength!
T.

Big Brothers, Big Sisters organization.
They do mentoring for kids.
Look for one in your area.
It provides a role model too.
My friend did that for her son, she is a single parent. It helped her son a lot.

Here is their link:
http://www.bbbs.org/site/c.9iILI3NGKhK6F/b.5962335/k.BE16...

Also, send him to Therapy.

Boy can he get in big trouble...

Boot camp...? It's hard, bc some kids just don't care what their consequences are.. They will take them and continue their behavior. Just pray for guidance for him and strength for your sister...

Have him spend 6 hours a weekend for the next month doing volunteer work at a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen. Let him see for himself what can happen. Plus, I always like to have my kids DO something when they have misbehaved, rather than just take away things. Of course not everyone in a soup kitchen or shelter is a direct result of drugs or poor grades in school... but it is a slippery slope that he does NOT want to continue to tread upon. He might also become a little more grateful for how GOOD he has it, so as not to screw it up beyond repair.

(Sorry this is a little late... I tried to post last night and it wouldn't take it for some reason... froze up and Mamapedia wouldn't load. I guess they were doing maintenance on the site?).

really hard to say without knowing the child-parent dynamics.

likely nephew isn't the only one needing counseling.
family counseling may be useful.
the behavior is attention seeking behavior.

consequence with teens that have the most impact are generally
centered around manual labor. there is not a real logical consequence for his actions unless she can talk to law-enforcement about some sort of "this could be you if you keep messing up" experience.

also- instead of lecturing- open ended questions are best.... teens don't listen to lectures.....

Good luck-

Get him into an activity where he will have a strong positive male role model - like martial arts, for example. Teen males are at a developmental stage where they "apprentice" themselves to a male figure that is not their dad. (Steve Biddulph says that better, but hope you get the idea). He will learn some good skills from the activity and also the adult.

Teen boys need to align to males, so put some healthy and moral men in his sights instead of his peers who apparently are more lost than he is.

Is there anything this teen values that he is in charge of? This to me smells like he can make his own decisions and mom just thinks I am a baby. He should not be in charge of his younger sister, but he should be in charge of himself ... laundry, dinner once a week, houshold chores that effect him directly etc ... I think he is in need of responsibilities and this is the best way to learn how to be a man is by being given some. Plus if he understands the importance (this will be a bit of a struggle at first) he will be too busy doing these things.