Advice About Birthday Party During Holidays

My girlfriend's husband has his birthday on Christmas. His mom always decorated a small Christmas Tree with birthday items. It was the birthday tree. Birthday presents went under that tree. If you make it seperate then it is seperate. Let family members know. I think it's fair not selfish!

My brother's birthday was December 5th. My mom told family that if they wanted to give him a birthday present that would be appreciated. And a Christmas present would be appreciated too. If they didn't want to or couldn't, it wasn't expected and that was fine too. But they absolutely positively could not give him ONE present and tell him it was for both!

I have a friend who has a son with a December birthday. And she celebrates in June on his HALF birthday instead :)

I didn't get a chance to read all of the responses, so this may duplicate what others have said :) Myself and all of my siblings have birthdays that fall on holidays (really), and 4 of my 6 kids fall on or near a holiday. One rule that I have is never wrap the birthday person's gift in holiday wrap (mine is on Xmas and HATE when my b'day gift is in Xmas wrap). Also, I have done 1/2 birthdays in the past - especially for Xmas kiddos. The other benefit is that sometimes it is nice to give a "summer gift" (bike, outside toys, etc) to a kid whose birthday is always in the dead of winter. The positive side is that often my holiday birthday kids parties are very well attended since we do the holiday get together at the same time. While it may not be ideal that their birthdays aren't "separate," we also don't treat birthdays as a big deal :)

Good luck!

Yes - I think you are being selfish. It is a crazy weird cultural thing that we have to have presents for our birthdays. My daughter (almost 9) always has the choice that she can have a party (no gifts, we ask people to give to charity instead) or one gift from us for her birthday. She has yet to *ever* choose a gift. We have emphasized throughout her life that her birthday is a time to celebrate her and her life, but that we don't celebrate through material goods. She is a child who organizes food drives at her school, who collects mittens and hats to distribute to homeless people that we see on the street during winter, who is keenly aware that we are blessed and wants to do what she can to help others.

You also need to realize that this is a tough economic time, that your son won't care about gifts, etc. for a long time unless you make it a big deal, and that the holidays are stressful and economically draining for people.

If you're really set on having a big birthday party with gifts, then I recommend that you start celebrating his half birthday. That comes at a time when people might be more willing and able to put themselves out there.

I have a sister who has this same problem... birthday right after Christmas. We always made a point of making the birthday celebration very special.

Anyway, maybe you could have a half-year party for your boy in June (not this year, obviously). Of course you would still celebrate on his actual birthday, but maybe having a half-year celebration would help to alleviate some of the financial and/or travel stress of your family and friends.

Good luck.

Hi, My daughter was born on Dec 17th, and i still had some christmaas shopping to do( she wasn't due until feb 13th) After her fourth birthday i decided that she could pick any other month out of the year to have her birthday party besides in every picture everyone is wearing red or green and there is a christmas tree in most of the pictures.everyone is busy with the holidays, or broke, or just can't make it. So now she picks a month and we celebrate. Her close friends give her gifts on her actual birhtday and we of course go out to dinner with family, on Dec 17th. One year we did get some people to commit and we went on a harbor lights cruise to see christmas lights. The whole boat about 150 people sang happy birthday to her.

I didn't read all of the other replies, so sorry if this is repeat advice.

I would wait to have his party until after Christmas. Like, the end of January or even beginning of February. Don't even send invitations until after xmas is over. That way, people won't be too busy with all of their pre-holiday shopping and parties to attend. Plus, people who don't realize you are doing a party later will buy him separate gifts for xmas and bday (which is more appropriate than a combined gift, in my opinion).

A second option that I know some holiday babies do is to skip celebrating on or around the birthday at all, and instead do a half birthday party in June. People have more time and more money so they aren't stressed to buy gifts to to make time to go to the party. Your child still gets to experience a very special birthday celebration, just on the half bday instead. Then, on the actual bday, you do something special as a family - make a cake, go out to dinner, or go somewhere special like a theme park, zoo, bounce house place, etc.

K.
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My husbands birthday is Christmas Eve. When he was a kid his Mom had a party on his 1/2 birthday in the summer so more poeple could come. As an adult we celebrate his birthday on his birthday. The kids know it's Dad's day, Christmas is there's. He gets presents for both. My young cousin has her birthday the day after Christmas and she gets gifts for both occassions as well. Yes, they're 2 small gifts, but we are always sure to seperate them so she doesn't feel less important. At this young age I wouldn't worry too much about the joint gift. Shopping for a 1 yr old is tough. They didn't have to send anything at all. What is important is that YOU make it special for your son.

My oldest daughter is 3yo and born on Dec 22, so I feel your pain. Her 1st year we had a gathering at the house, the 2nd year we had a big party at a pizza place and for year 3 we actually didn't do anything special, just us and the kids. I make it clear every year to not only seperate the presents, but I don't want them wrapped in the wrong paper. The family has always been good about this. With friends, we don't exchange xmas gifts anyway, so no biggie. I know it's hard for alot of people and I don't make it about the presents, but I do tell them that if they do it to her I will do it to them, I don't care when there birthday is, lol. I hope this helps.

This is an entirely different approach, but in my family we tend to go a bit overboard for holidays and birthdays. My son is 2 and at his last birthday (in August) he was just not into sitting and opening all the presents he got one after the other. My mom made the observation that it can be very overwhelming for a young one. So we drew months. Every member of the family (the active, involved ones) drew a month of the year to get him a birthday present. So far, it's been working very well. I don't know for how many years we will keep this up. Probably until my son is old enough to chime in with his own ideas. :-)

As for combined presents.... I have to say, those who are related to my son who don't see him often, well, they may send a card. The fact that relatives are sending a combined birthday/Christmas present may just be how they're getting by hard times right now, and your son is not going to be bothered or affected by this idea for years to come. You can drop hints about how you are already stockpiling ideas for the future as to how to make these two seperate, special occassions for him, but that's about as far as I would take any conversation with relatives about it.

Good luck and best wishes.

Our daughter will be 16 on Dec 27. We have never had 1/2 birthdays, we have always had her party on her day. We do separate gifts, I've never requested separate gifts but family members have always sent her bday gift in the package they use to send the Christmas gifts.There is a separate area set aside that is Birthday with Birthday wrap and decor. I feel it is important to recognize HER day, even if there is no gift, it is HER special day to celebrate.

When she was younger, she did get bday gifts at parties and I usually held some back for her to have something new later because it got overwhelming. As she got older, we throw bigger parties and we put on invitations "no gifts please" or to bring something to donate to the animal shelter or food pantry.

She loves parties, I love planning them so they are a celebration for her and her friends. Since she turned 13 we'v e had parties with DJ, dancing, food, etc. It is amazing how many parents are ready for kids to be out of the home just 2 days after Christmas. I've had as many as 80 show up for a birthday party.

2010 will be different because her bday falls on a Monday and our country club is colsed on Monday's (that is where we have the parties) so we are planning her party for early January for the first time but it is a big one, Sweet 16!!

I don't think you are acting selfish. We all want our children's special days to be "special". I would offer a few things to consider:

- Was the cost of the gift a little above what these people normally spend? If so, perhaps in thier minds if they spent an amount equalling their budget for 2 presents they were doing the right thing.

- Maybe they are having financial difficulties. So many people are right now.

- Maybe have the party early in December or even over Thanksgiving weekend. Maybe that would make it easier for others to attend. Also, maybe they wouldn't feel as compelled to give a combined gift.

- As your child gets older, use the situation as a life lesson. We have relatives that come to our kids' birthday parties without presents (they are summer birthdays). When my kids became old enough to notice and ask me about it I simply told them that we didn't invite them to the party to bring presents, we invited them to celebrate with us and share in the activities we had planned for the party. Presents are a nice touch to a party, but not required.

I wish I had more concrete advice for you and I hope you find a solution. Best wishes.

You should think about having the party in the week AFTER Christmas. This way people will have (hopefully) given him his Xmas gift and then cannot come empty-handed to his birthday party.

I also think that the half year party is a great idea-esp for your out of town relatives. Your son will love having 2 b-day parties a year also!

Boy do I know your pain... my 3 year old's birthday is 12/21. We tried for 3 years with the Bday/Xmas dilemma and have finally made the decision to "move" her birthday celebration to August (I just sent out invites yesterday). Since we just had a party for her in December, I noted "no gift necessary" on the invites. We're happy to be getting her Birthday moved to a month when we (and everyone else we know) can more focus on her. We're thinking we'll still have a small family get together for her in December. Good luck!

A friend of mine throws the party in early december to celebrate her girls bday (for non-immediate family and friends) so its not too close to christmas, and had a small celebration on her actual b-day (dec. 26). Christmas is a hard time for everyone, especially with the economy. Here's what I sarted to do I have been saving all the change (with my boyfriend its a lot) and that money will go to buy gifts for our daughter. In our family my mom made up an icon for birthdays....she called it the birthday bear. So every year the b-day bear would come decorate the house with balloons, and all the gifts that werent from my immediate family would be from the bear (sort of like santa at christmas). Maybe you could do something like to to make it a little more extra special? Good Luck!

I have a child with a 11/30 B-Day (she is 27). If I had it to do over again... I would celebrate a half birthday as a regular rule of thumb starting now... that time of year is just a killer to add a B-Day to the mix. That way your family can join you and will have extra funds for this occasion.

Hi ,
I have a 3.5 year old son and his B day is 5 days before Christmas!

I made sure to say '"no gifts necessary when attending" to the party invite so as to ease any worries. it still didn't fix all the " problems" associated with a B day in the midst of the HOLIDAYS as some people were out of town and simply couldn't come.

I feel your pain , all those Summer babies have it easy in comparison.

I don't blame you for being ticked at a combined present, if your child's birthday was in June they would get two presents.......I have several friends that have Christmas birthdays and that is one of their biggest complaints.....unfortunately there isn't much you can do about it......as for celebrating I say have his party at the beginning of the month, then on his actual birthday just your family (you, your hubby, and any other children you have) celebrate it, give him the presents from you and let him choose where to go to dinner......in my house I am lucky with all summer birthdays but our tradition is the person with the special day (birthday, mom/dad day, graduation, ect.) gets to choose where we will be eating dinner and NOBODY gets to veto their choice

my daughters birthday is on the 28th of Christmas and I have been very adamant on they are two separate things her birthday is not Christmas and vise versa. She did have a big 1st and 2nd birthday now her 3rd was just grandmas and grandpas and aunts and uncles and her 4th birthday I will probably take her to like a tea room or to do something instead of having people over but now for her 5th birthday I plan on having it between Thanksgiving and Christmas so that I don't have to mess with the holiday stuff also. Or you could do a Half birthday which are becoming very popular with holiday birthdays. Good Luck

Our son is an early January birthday and so we are in the same boat. We decided that we would celebrate his birthday with immediate family (not a birthday party) the day of his birthday, and then we will celebrate it with friends at his 1/2 birthday. This alleviates the frustration of having people out of town in addition to being financially broke.

I have a friend that throws a half birthday party! So come June have a 5 1/2 bday party or whatever age you want to start. Unfortuneatly especially with out of staters he is going to get the combined bday christmas present :(

An article in Readers Digest talked about how one family solved the Christmas/New Years birthday problem by celebrating the childs 1/2 birth day in June. Born on the 26th of December was celebrated on the 26th of June. They started when the children hit 3 or 4 and celebrated their 3 1/2 or 4 1/2 birthday and continued to do so.

In Obama's economy, I wouldn't be concerned about presents at Christmas and a close birthday. Lots of families are worried about how to make the next car payment or how to keep the utilities from being turned off. Be grateful they can even consider sending a gift.

Good luck to you and yours.

My youngest is Dec 18th so we have the same problem. I think next year after my son has had a full year of preschool we will do a half year birthday so he gets a big fun party in the summer. So next year he will get a 4 1/2 year party and it will just be family on his actual birthday.

We can definitely relate in our family. My husband's b-day is the 19th, my sister-in-law's is the 24th and my daughter's is the 30th. ( note we also have a friend's b-day everyday from the 26th - 29th as well. =-) )
It has taken years for my husband to allow us to encourage him for his b-day as his family often just added him as an after thought - esp since they had a family x-mas gathering on the 24th - when they always acknowledged his sister's b-day.

I understand wanting your son to be encouraged as he gets older - but he will learn from what you value. Sit down with your husband and decide what is it you really want for his b-days - now and in the future and how that will impact who he becomes as a person. My husband's mom taught gifts as her love language- so not receiving much and being 'forgotten' left him very discouraged. Do you want him to appreciate the people who love him and the relationships or be counting how many presents he gets?

We have friends who don't even do b-day parties but do family outings ( Disneyland, etc) for their b-day celebration. We often do a family b-day dinner with one or 2 other friends with us.

Suggestions: do the b-day party early in November or later in January. Just make sure you get invites out early so people know and are able to plan and budget as well as schedule it. Another idea which we want to try out for our daughter is doing a b-day party during summer. That helps separate it from the busy holiday season and makes more friends available.

Good luck and hope this helps!

As he gets older, you can anticipate your son bday party of few weeks.And if you have any idea of what your son will need or like as gifts just be honest and say it in the invitations.
Best,
S.

It's tough when a birthday and holiday are so close. Most people just combine the gift (how would they like it if we did the same to them?) and figure they are all done for another year. My SIL was born on Christmas Eve so she went through that a lot until her parents moved her party up to the first week of December. You may want to do something along those lines......"I know everyone is so busy with the holidays so we are throwing his birthday party on Jan 5". Make it special for him.

Good luck!

I get what your saying but good luck trying to separate it. My dad was born on Christmas and I also have family members with birthdays right after Christmas. It seems that when birthdays are around Christmas their birthday presents tend to get combined. You can do your best at always recognizing your sons birthday and giving him a party but you can't control the guests. All that matters in the end is that he remembers you as his parent doing something special for him.
We always make it a point to celebrate my dads birthday before even thinking about Christmas. And we NEVER use Christmas paper on his presents, he gets birthday paper. (I am sure at this point in his life he wouldn't care, but we try to do our best to make up for his childhood memory of his birthday.)

We all want the best for our kids. Speaking from experience, (my bday is December 18th), I always got combined presents and I really didn't mind. Your son will be 2 and I don't think he will know the difference. If anything he may think his birthday is 'extra' special because it happens at such a great time of the year.
My parents taught me early on that it is not about the present, but about the person and act of kindness. The birthday I remember most is my aunts coming to visit me for my 4th bday and they brought me a cake that they personally made. To a kid, that was so cool! I don't even remember the presents I got that year. Heck, I don't even remember presents I got for my 2nd, 3rd, 5th, birthdays.....As I'm thinking back, I only remember the 'special' events- the people who came to the party, the events during the party, etc.
I know things have changed since then, but if we start early by teaching our kids to focus more on good times and great people instead of the toy that will be sold at the garage sale in 5 years, then they're not going to care about the material things. After all, you can't take it with you.
Your child will experience both occassions separately, but right now it is dependent on how you influence him positively about each occassion. If you're really dead set on giving him a 'special' day, then go with the 1/2 bday idea that was suggested.