Advice - Westchester,IL

unfortunately, very normal. for me, i started to see a schedule forming around 3 months, but a firmer schedule (exact nap times, etc.) around 5 or 6 months. my first son would cry whenever we put him back down after a feeding. we found swaddling helped. i would swaddle him and shhh in his ear until he calmed down and then slowly put him down in his crib. I've read you should lay their head down first and then the rest of their body so that their equilibrium isn't off (doesn't always work for me, but give it a try!) also, try reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth

S. D.,

I had a time of that with my girls.. but, I finally had to take the upper hand feed them, change the diaper, set them on their side and put the music on (95.5- WNUA)low so they could hear it.. J. F.

Your child is over-tired. Call Dr. Marc Weissbluth: ###-###-####. You can tell him M. sent you. He has written books, but best to speak with him. He is a genius and your family will be sleeping (and happy!) right away :))

both my girls responded well to outside cues - once I learned their time tables.. then I would try at least one of the cues so they would be flexable (go to sleep wherever). Find some that work for you.. it's training them to know "if this, then that (sleep)". For example, I have a special blanket for each (they only get it when they are upset or going to bed), we read books (no matter how many or how many different ones, I always keep the last one the same every time!), we play the same music for naps and bedtime, so as they hear it they already start to get sleepy, their rooms are primarily for sleep & reading books.. I don't keep toys in there so again they know it's a place to relax & be quiet. They take a bath each night and get rubbed quickly with lotion (you know for yourself you relax if someone is massaging you).
This sounds like alot but from start to finish, it's about 30mins. In the beginning it was more... but now they are about asleep before the end of the 3rd book.
the nice thing about wrapping them up in their own blanket, is their own body heat.. as you pull away, you aren't taking theirs away with you so it's not as abrupt for them. Putting them down in a groggy state is better for you in the long run too.. cuz then they won't count on you to put them to sleep.
IN the beginning I also made up a little song for each and sing it over and over so I could put them down and they'd still know I was close.. that was a way I didn'thave to hold them the whole time too..
good luck, I hope soemthing helped.. sometimes, it's best to take sometime for yourself and let them cry as long as you know they have full bellies, empty diapers, warm clothes and a safe place where they aren't able to hurt themselves, it's OK to let them cry it out and you can give yourself permission to just breathe!
Rebecca xo

I feel your frustration. I am a first time mom to a beautiful 5 month old baby boy. The first 10 weeks were extremely hard. He did not sleep either. Did the doctor mention that she may have colic. My son had extreme colic and cried for 6 hours straight every night. He did not sleep either. It got so bad that I went to stay with my parents. Like you my husband was always working when I needed him so going to a house filled with people and extra hands helped. We all took turns walking him around because basically that is all you can do. Sorry!! Although at times Gripe Water worked for me. Also if I couldn't calm his crying I would turn on the vacuum. Nevertheless, it does get better. He is now 5 months old and hardly ever cries. He still is awake at night, but no crying. Good Luck!!

Hi S.!

It looks like your baby might be suffering from acid reflux... I have a 4-month old and he acted exactly the same way when he was younger. It turned out to be reflux. Discuss this issue with the pediatrician and he/she will be able to determine if your child has reflux or not, and then provide some comfort for her. Reflux is very uncomfortable and can be painful too, specially when a child is laying down flat on her back, maybe that's the reason your baby doesn't want to go into her crib. Please check this website, there's some important tips on how you can make your child more comfortable:

http://www.babiesonline.com/articles/baby/14stepstoimprov...

Another thing that really helps is a sleep positioner called the tucker sling. My son has been sleeping on it since he was 2 weeks old, when his reflux started, and it really does wonders. He's no longer fussy and sleeps like an angel. The first night I place him on the sling he slept 7 hours straight! And he was only a month old. The positioner is a bit expensive but well worth it. Just one thing, if you decided to purchase it, do not place your baby to sleep on it on her tummy. Place her always on her back. The website is:

www.tuckersling.com

Good luck and I do hope your baby feels better, for her sake and yours.

The screaming when put down, waking up, etc. is all totally normal. It takes newborns a good 20-30 minutes to fall into a deep sleep. So, after feeding, I would snuggle my little one on my chest and literally just sit there for 30 minutes and THEN put her down. If you need to get stuff done, get a sling and just wear her.

This is what I went through with my son when he was younger (2-6 weeks or so). He would wake up hungry, and then spend almost as much time being awake as he did when he slept. (2 hours sleep, wake up to nurse for 1/2 hour, then 2 hours awake before going back to sleep). It was exhausting, but didn't last forever.

Good luck - it's worth it!!! :)

Try to get her out of the house most days, even if it's just for a short walk.

Spend some time playing with her, reading to her, listening to music.

I suggest the above two to give her some stimulation and wear her out, even at this age.

For sleep, trying giving her a bath before bed(no need to use soap every night), swaddle her, use a pacifier, provide some white noise. If you can't get her to sleep, trying putting her down for a few minutes to see what happens. If she cries, you need to pick her up at this age, but I've found that once in a while, my daughter seems to want to go to sleep on her own.

I find swaddling to be the most important thing in helping my 4 month old sleep.

Try a miracle blanket, www.miracleblanket.com. Our little girl did the same. When we tried swaddling her, she'd kick out of it. What she needed was a more instense swaddle. It truly was a miracle. We give the blankets to everyone as a birth gift. GOOD luck!

When my son was a baby he was very fussy and would cry really hard at night a couple hours after feedings. Sometimes he'd just start crying in the middle of nursing. His doctor asked me if I would describe him as not a happy baby, she was right. She figured out that he had acid reflux, prescribed some medicine and it cleared it up right away. Worth asking your doctor about.

I'm on my 4th which is about 5 weeks old now, and all of mine would scream after eating when they were that young if I tried to lay them down flat. My baby has slept in the car seat since the day she came home. She will also sleep in the swing, the high chair or those chair things that vibrate (can't think of what they are called right now). She has slept through the night for about 2 weeks now (from midnight/1am ish to around 9-10am). With my first it took me a while to figure it out and we did all the formula switching too -- even to the alimentum or whatever that expensive stuff is called. Nothing worked except not lying her down flat. I think it's some form of reflux where they are just very uncomfortable lying flat. Mine all grew out of it by about 3-4 months old and then were fine transitioning to the crib. I have the car seat inside the bassinet now to kind of get her used to the bassinet/crib thing. She can lay flat after about an hour or 2 of eating and if she is awake, I'll put her flat for a while... but definitely not right after. Hope that works for you...and if it does I would try switching back to regular formula. It sounds like that probably isn't the problem. We use Kirkland brand from Costco. It's by far the least expensive and it's the same as Similac.

My little girl gets a bit of reflux as well and it's just not comfy. What has worked for us is an eat/wake/sleep routine. After she eats I put her in an upright position and she plays (aka looks around and reaches for stuff) for a bit and then after about 1.5 hours I put her down (still awake)to take her nap. She'll sleep for about an hour or 1.5 hours. Then she'll wake up (usually happy) and I'll feed her again.

This has really cut down on the crying for us and it seems to help the reflux from acting up. The plus side is that she does get a chance to learn to sleep on her back.

We still struggle with it sometimes, and I'll let her sleep in the swing if she's really having a hard time.
Hope that helps.
-Krys

S.,
I'm sorry to hear of difficulties with your baby. Mine was exactly the same and it wasn't until a seasoned mom suggested to me that what appeared like discomfort after feeding wasn't normal. The doctor suggested some medication for reflux (even though there wasn't a lot of spit-up) and we changed to exclusively formula (no nursing) and she was like a different child in two days. Believe me, we had tried every possible thing: Swaddling, carrying, sleeping in chair, sleeping in different positions, different formula, different bottles, colic drops, massage, going outside to get fresh air, but she would generally continue to cry for about 2 hours after feeding. In fact, there was one day she didn't sleep at all for over 12 hours when she was about 4 weeks old.

I didn't like the idea of giving medication at such a young age, but I was convinced after I saw the results. Maybe ask your doctor about the possibility of reflux. Good Luck.

Hi S.:

Know that you are not alone!!! Motherhood is a daily challenge especially in the early months (at least it was for me). As a new Mom I'm sure you've gotten tons of advice, both solicited and not. A bit of unsolicited advice that I received early on had a major impact on my early parenting. One of my work colleagues gave me a book called Babywise. It is a pretty quick read and not all of it jived for me (you have to use my own best judgement). One of the main points that I learned was to raise my baby in this pattern ... sleep/eat/play/sleep/eat/play. The key is not to feed the baby to sleep so that they don't start associating feeding with going to bed. I didn't follow this too closely until my baby was about 8 weeks old, but I did dabble in it early on. As a full-time working Mom, I can tell you that a schedule will make your life so much easier and your baby that much happier (babies like and thrive on routine). Keep the faith! Everything is only a stage and will pass. Best of luck to you and congratulations!!!

@4 wks yes that's normal. mine did that too. Are her days and nights messed up? Try making sure that during the day it's loud and bright (music, drapes open) and at night it's quiet and dark.

However, one thing that has really helped with my son (now 3months) is that he didn't wanna go down after eating just like yours and I found out that a lot of it had to do with spitting up right after eating. we'd burp him and stuff but then like 20mins later still he'd have spitup and we'd have already put him down on his back and he'd start gagging on it and choking and then obviously didn't wanna be put down! so we learned to put him in his carseat to sleep or on his side. hope that helps!

My son was a premie and we had a slew of issues that involved an intense feeding schedule. I prayed every day for sleep. Our son would almost be asleep and then he'd have a jerk reaction and wake up. So, we tried a swaddle blanket (which I never thought would work because he liked to have his hands free). After 2 nights of getting used to it, he has been sleeping through the night. Our nighttime routine is to change his diaper, swaddle him, and give him a bottle. Sometimes he finishes the bottle other times he falls asleep during it. Currently, my son is 4.5 months old and barely weighs 12-13 lbs. Good luck.

Hi S.,

It's been almost 4 years but my first wouldn't sleep until I swaddled her...Their nervous systems are not developed fully and they jerk and twitch and startle - they go a warm dark soft tight space to the big world - it's got to be a shock, right? If you wrap her up tight she might be able to relax - it's like they're in the womb (nice and tight space). Also, are you burping her after she eats? And how about a pacifier? My first didn't want one but my second loved it. I actually used to wrap our daughter and put her in the car seat - it worked like a charm. Gradually you can wean her from swaddling - do whatever it takes at his point so you can all get sleep...It's awful feeling like you can't make them happy - I totally remember the frustration and exhaustion, but I promise it will pass. It doensn't seem like it now (becuase you're sooooooo tired) but you'll miss this time when it's gone :-) Enjoy the precious first moments of all to come - good luck!

N.

I haven't tried these techniques yet since I'm still pregnant with my second child but from what I saw on the video, they work amazingly well for some babies. I was recently given the DVD, "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. He has a technique called, "The Five S's" which include swaddling, side lying position, shaking (jiggling actually), shh-ing and more. I would recommend seeing if your local library has it if you don't want to buy it. He also has a book by the same name that came out first but I think it's nice to actually see the techniques so you know you're doing them right.

It's worth a try. Hang in there, it will get better.