Adult Daughter/eldest Grandson

See this just does not make sense to me at all. Son calls you, so he knows, saying she made these plans so you can't see him. Then she calls you because he was upset with her, but he would have been upset with her before he called you so that doesn't make any sense.

He called you the day before, ya know?

Plus as a mother of teens and adult, at 15 you can't stop a kid from making phone calls. So either this is all BS and you are trolling or you are completely misreading what you think is going on.

Not true that the less info you give here is best. It's only true if you only want the answer you want, and not truthful answers. Some people only want people to agree with them. And some people just play stupid games on this site. All you'll do if you ask "hypothetical" questions or put just a little bit of info here is get a lot of speculation in people's answers, and you'll end up having to explain further. None of that helps you if you really want help.

I will say here that I don't understand why it is that your grandson isn't calling you, but he must have had an earful from his mom if indeed all of what you have said here is real.

I also wonder why you wanted to take him to dinner ON his birthday. He should be with his family, including his mom. That doesn't mean that you can't be part of that. Couldn't you have invited them both? I would not be sending my kids to their grandparents on their birthday night. All together? Yeah. Without me? NO. You could have had dinner before or after his birthday.

You can't make your daughter do what you want. So you just need to wait a while. I wouldn't write on the facebook wall that she doesn't like, because it just bothers her more. Instead, send private notes.

I'm confused. Your daughter told you you could take your grandson to dinner and then when the time came he couldn't go because she was taking him to Disney World and you weren't invited to go with them?

Your daughter is upset you're staying with her brother/your son? And you think she changed plans because of that?

I'd ask her directly if this is true. I suggest there could be a different reason. The way that you wrote this does not make me think that your daughter was doing this because you're friends with someone on Facebook. Who? Or that you're staying with your son. I would just ask her why she changed plans and if, since you're there, if you could go too.

I really have a difficult time understanding your question.

I suggest your grandson is not talking to you because you and his mother have put him in the middle. Sounds like he's upset with both of you.

When you are calm and not needing to judge, call your daughter and ask to talk about what happened.

I would think your daughter would be thrilled you were still wanting to keep a good relationship with your granddaughter, and hence at least a civil relationship with her mother. No need to disconnect yourself from your granddaughter because your son is a fool. And sorry to use that term, but living with someone else before even being divorced is a horrible example for your grandchildren to see, especially his daughter.

The rest of it doesn't make sense. You'll have to ask your daughter what her issue is. She can't force her son not to call you - unless she has locked him in a room with no connection to the world.

I know how truly difficult it is and, IMHO, your daughter is a jerk. I bet your grandson is suffering the same as you. If I were you, (and I have been) I would make no effort to contact your daughter at all. I would send your grandson random texts or even an actual card just so he knows you love him and are making the effort. He doesn't even need to read the card, just knowing you sent it will be enough.

The good news - he's 15. In just a few short years she won't be able to control him like this. That's when your time comes; and she will suffer the consequences of her actions.

That's just sad. I'd call her out on it. It's none of her business who you're friends with on FB. I am friends with my ex, his wife, his ex wife, and my hubby too. We all get along too.

Just because a divorce happens doesn't mean that in law isn't dear to your heart. They were family for some amount of time and you loved them.

Why would you not just call your daughter and ask her why she did that knowing you had plans (with her blessing) to take him to dinner?
That's what I'd do.

Welcome to mamapedia.

Advice for posting onto this sometimes helpful site:The less information you give the better.

Ask a question about your daughter's situation, then wait a few days and post about your son.

As for your daughter, wait a few days and then she will call. Do not call your grandson anymore as he is in the middle.

ETA: The reason I say to give limited info is that the main question then gets lost in the extra detail... as it did here for me, Marda and Julie. Its hard to follow...