Adoption\Prenuptual

Congrats on the upcoimiung wedding and finding a great guy that is willing to be a father to your son, they are hard to find.... I went through this exact same situation. Before our wedding we contacted my lawyer and she said to wait until after we were leagally married so then we could proceed with a step-parent adoption. This proces did take some time (about 18 months) cause like your sons biological father my sons was also MIA. Through the courts we had to try and find him and serve him and when we got no response we were able to proceed as an abandonment case. I would recommend retaining a lawyer if possible after your wedding. There are many steps to the process icluding interviews and alot of paperwork but it is all worth it when arrive at the happy had in the court room when the judge finally legalizes the family you have been waiting for. Hopefully this helps, if you have and more specific questions that you think I can help you with, please let me know. Good luck!

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I went through the exact same situation with my son and husband 8 years ago. We are in WA and contacted our lawyer about it within a couple weeks of getting married. We were told then that we could've done the adoption prior to getting married. In any case, it took us 6 months from start to finish. We were able to locate the father and he had to sign a form that indicated he was rescinding his rights, legal and otherwise, as a parent. Once that was done, it was pretty basic. We were informed, though, that, if we couldn't find him, we would have to go the route of putting something in the paper. Also, if he refused to sign the paper, we would have to take the matter to court, however, our lawyer said we wouldn't have a problem winning as he had been absent for so long. In WA, at least when we did it, we still had to have a third party come out and interview us in our home (similar to what they would do in a straight out adoption) but it was very low key, just sitting at our kitchen table. A girlfriend of mine just did this in OR, though, and they didn't have to have any kind of home visit. Anyway, it really is a pretty easy process and SOOOOO worth it! My husband is the only dad my oldest boy knows (he's 14 now) even though he knows he has a different biological dad. They have as close of a relationship as my other kids have with their dad, too!

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Good Morning K.~
We have a similar situation as you minus the prenup. If your sons father has never been in his life this is a huge BONUS for the adoption. Where I live in Oregon, you file for the adoption, they print it in the paper as a public notice for 30 days, this gives the bio father the opportunity to respond, if no response comes, the adoption will only take 30 days or less. This allows for much less red tape as they say. You have to wait til your married before you can do the adoption. IF you do it before then, then it looks as though you are choosing to give your son up.
What would be the purpose of a prenup, do you not trust your fiance. I would see no reason for one.

Good Luck~
Have a Blessed Day!!!
A.

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Unfortunately I have no advice on this particular subject, but, I am going through the exact same thing. My daughters father lives on the other side of the country and my current boyfriend is interested in adopting her. I will keep peeking at your responses to see if anyone has any helpful advice! Good luck!!!

The laws can be different in every state. The best way to find out this information is to consult an attorney. Legal Aide will help you if your income is limited.

You know I don't really see anything wrong with getting things started before you get married, especially since your son knows your fiance as dad. Personally I would say go check it out and if you can get things started go for it. I do think though that you will have to make the real father sign over parental rights before you can do much. Good Luck and I hope things work out for you.

There isn't a set in stone time limit....but at the very least it takes about six months (if you are in NV) and I'm not sure of the exact timeline for this type of adoption. You will have to have the birthfathers rights terminated before you can move forward with the adoption. You will need to have an attorney to help you get all the needed paperwork done for that.
Also there has to be a homestudy done to make sure the adoption is the best thing for your son (sounds very scary, but it's not). You would have a social worker come to your house and interview everyone involved (or living in the house) and they also run fingerprints and background checks on eveyone who will be involved with the child in the house. Since you are the birthmother, you probably wouldn't have to be checked, but everyone else would.
As I said I'm not sure exactly what would be involved in this type of adoption, but feel free to drop me a line and I'll give you any info I can.

Congrats on your engagement!! Could you do me a favor and let me know what u find out regarding the adoption?! I am in the same boat and don't know where to begin either~! Thanks!!

Check with you local county homepage. Go to the family services division and they usually have info regarding these type of situations. It is most likely in a Adobe Acrobat .pdf file in a informational booklet form. good luck!

You should go to a legal document center. They will have all the paperswork and should be able to answer your questions.

I don't know anything about that, I just wanted to tell you to tell your soon to be husband that he's one of the great ones.

We live in California. My granddaughters birthmom left when my granddaughter was 1 year old, and we have never heard or seen her since. My granddaughter is now 4 years old, and my dil adopted her last year. It was a pretty simple process, since my son consented to the adoption. They had to try to locate the mom, but she never responded.

I think you have to formally publish a notification in a newspaper a few times to establish abandonment before your son can be adopted. CALL A LEGAL AIDE. It is very cheap to do that. You do not need a prenup I don't think but he would have to pay support on your child if you divorced. is he okay with that?

K.,

I want to tell you a possitive story about adoption.... it's good when you and your soon to be husband do this and stay together... my step dad adopted my half sister. He was a great dad... her bio dad (not my dad) was very abusive to my mom... and beat her all the time. My stepdad was our Dad until he passed away with cancer 2 years ago. At that time, my sister was 27. Because of the laws over 10 years ago, and because my mom had such a hard time looking for my sister's bio dad... my sister was 16... she consented as well as the court ask for my consent as well?? I dunno why but they asked me, I wanted it! My sister never looked for her bio dad.... nor did she care too! My step dad was her father at the age of 2, he treated her like she was a princess... my mom and stepdad never had children of their own.. we were it!

On the other hand, my niece married four years ago, we thought this guy was a good match for her. She had a daughter from a previous marriage.. he adopted her, when they had their own child... he became abusive to my grandniece.... now they are getting divorced... so now what???? He wants out of the obligation of being her dad.....

Please think about it.... I think the wise choice out the two is my sister's situation.. I say let the child choose.... I've heard too many sad stories on this issue... my ex husband is trying to get out of his obligation with his soon to be ex wife... he adopted her daughter and now he's in the middle of divorce and wants to get out of paying child support and end his relationship with his adopted daughter.

A prenup.... YES..... I did one with my current husband, and we added on the clause that if we wanted to change or update it in 5 years, that we could.... I did the prenup because of the family business to protect my interhance not only for myself but for my own children!!!! As well as to protect family heirlooms... to make sure that my kids got them and not my step kids.... I know that it sounds harse, but I want the children who would appreciate these family items to have them... because of the connection and our roots.

This also was written to protect one another from our former spouses... so that they could not tap into interhances... My husband's ex had her lawyer try that..... because of the prenup it backfired in her face!

Get one.... you need it to protect your children and yourself!

I was adoped by my moms husband. The prosses took something like 3 years. I think it was easier for them once they got married. I only knew my adoptive dad as my dad and then when I was nine they let me know that he wasn't my real dad. My real dad was around to be found but that was it they took him to cout and I was told the judge asked me what I wanted and I pointed to my step-dad and that was that. That is really nice that he is wanting to do that. Good luck and best wishes with everything