ADHD Meds?

In my opinion that is a little soon to be telling you that your son will not pass Kindergarden. I would let them do the testing and hold off on the meds til then. Of course talkin to you dr. about it would be a good idea. There are probably alot of other mothers out there with children that do have ADD or ADHD...who can tell you a little more of what to look for. Also probaly alot of mothers that can tell you that a teacher tried to pin this on their child because maybe it was more of a disipline (or the teacher not wanting to fool with disipline)problem. I have a 5yo son also who also started K this yr. He also is very active..but I had a babysitter once tell me not to ever let them so he had ADHD because unlike children who do have that....he was able to calm himself down if needed and properly directed. I also think that the teacher needs to give more instruction then just rite your name like on your nametag. One of my friends twin grandsons were put on ADHD medicine at 6....and I truly believ their was just behavior problems too. But once they are on it..it is harder to get them off. Alot of people believe diet affects some childrens behavior alot too...might be something else to look into. I wish you the BEST. Being a single Mom also...and knowing how scary it is to have your child start Kindergarden...I do sympathize. You are the best advocate your child has. Definitely take a closer look at what is going on before you make this decision for your child. Some teachers will try to bully you....but it's not their child going on medication. Look for support from other parents that have went through the same thing...and health care professionals. Of course teachers are supposed to be professionals and act professionally...and hopefully most of them do. But I believe what your sons teacher did was totally unprofessional. I say again...don't do anything immediately without the proper testing. God Bless C.

If you have concerns about the teacher don't be afraid to speak to the priciple or the school board if it comes to that. I think now days teachers seem to think alot of kids have adhd. Usually the people who test in school can olny recomend that he sees a doctor who speacilizes in the subject to do a real test. Dont worry about them telling you about him having to repeat kindergarden, for all they know your kid could turn out to be the smartest one in the grade. Good Luck

K.....

Wow...I went through this same thing...here is what I did...I suggest u try it.

I went back to the teacher and told her that the doctor had put my son on ADHD medication...give her the name "concerta". My son was not really on any medication. I told her that the doctor wanted a note from her in 2 weeks to let him know if this medication was helping with his school behaviour. (Remember though....my son was NEVER on the medication) Two weeks later I sent a note to school with him to remind her to send the note because I was checking my son out to go to the doctor. She wrote in the note that he was a "different child" that his behaviour was "so much better". Needless to say...the next day I called a meeting with the Principal, vice Principal, school counselor and the teacher....supposedly to discuss what the doctor said. Their mouths were on the floor when I explained to them that he was never on medication and If they ever tried another stunt like this with him that I would not only go to the school board but also to the media. My son is now in 11th grade and in honors classes....he is a typical teenager who gives me crap every once in a while but for the most part is a GREAT kid!

Good luck and I am serious if you really want to know if this teacher is just one of those who wants her whole class on medication....try this...it works!

B.

I agree with you. Drugs are not the answer. Is it possible to find another school for him? If that is all that current school can suggest in the first weeks than I do not think that is a good school for your son. Maybe you could hire a tutor or maybe there are mom out there that home schhol that may be willing to take on another student. Good luck and I hope you find a good school for your son.

J.

I'm so sorry to hear this, K.. You are doing the right thing by asking for advice. I would talk to the principal or someone above your child's teacher. It sounds to me like your son is not getting the kind of education that five year olds deserve. Kindergarteners should get the most help. They are just entering school!! You should voice your concerns about how the students are being given "busy work" and not instructed properly. You can get him moved into another classroom. In Kindergarten, students skill levels will be varied because some of them have been in pre-school and others have been at home. Don't give in to the pressure of putting your child on meds. It sounds like there are bigger problems to address, like your son getting a good education. If he isn't taught properly now, he will struggle all his life.

R. Bates

The teacher's at my son's school tried that with me too. It was around Thanksgiving when they started to pressure me on ADHD and him repeating kindergarden. Unless you give them permission they cannot hold your son back, i grew a back bone and told them we would wait until closer time for school to be out. By the end of the year the only thing he wasn't doing for them was reading. Reading in kindergarden, good grief, i sent him to 1st grade and have never regreted it! He did repeat 1st grade however and that was the good decision. They wanted him to be seen by the school's "dr" and i gave in. Well what do you know he has ADHD. I went to our Dr. with him and we tried meds. and it was aweful! I took him about 6mo. later and had him tested by a OT of my choice, which in my opinion is one of the best in BG. With in 30 min. of sitting with him, she knew it wasn't ADHD it was Sensory Intergration Disfunction, which can mask itself as ADHD. Once i marched in there and gave them that report and stood up for my kid things started going a lot smoother, and they started looking for better ways to teach his disability. With the HELP of the teachers and better awareness things are going great and he is getting all a's and b's on his report card and is doing well in the 5th grade! Don't be bullied around, because some will try!

I think you should talk to the guidance counselor and the principal about your concerns. He is your child and if you don't think he needs to be on meds for ADHD or ADD then you may be correct and the teacher is just lazy. It happens. There are some people that just are not meant to teach. I hope everything goes well.

Oh K., I am outraged on behalf of you and your son! I have MUCH experience with all of this myself.

First off, you are not required to put him on meds at all. They cannot force you to do so. Not all kids with ADHD are treated with meds. Do some research on this and talk to his doctor. Furthermore , there are other things that can cause the same behavior as ADD/ADHD--but the schools won't test for that. As an example, my sons have Sensory Processing Disorder. They also have mild learning disabilites, both of which can cause spirited, acting out behavior. That behavior can be caused by frustration in their environment.

You are correct that it is WAY too early for them to be deciding if he is going to repeat next year. Again, you get some say in this.

Don't let them push you around--and they will try. They will try to push you and your child into whatever mold is convienient for them. You have to go into momma-bear mode and be prepared to fight them. They can't do anything without you saying it's ok, keep that in mind. He's YOUR child. You ALLOW them to have him as a student.

It does sound like the teacher is not doing too well with the teaching. How boring and difficult that must be for a young child. They need hands on, interactive learning! Perhaps you can ask for a different teacher? After two years of them trying to tell me to put my son on meds and them punishing him for being who he is--a 5-6 yr old boy who was acting age appropriately--I took him out and am homeschooling him. Here he is learning in a loving environment where we can work on his special learning needs, Focus on his successes, and appreciate him for the active, bright individual that he is. He is not a robot, and I don't want him to be trained to be.

You might consider homeschooling. Don't let your own learning differences make you think that you can't do it. You can. Anyone can. I never thought I could, but when it came down to his well-being, the schools were hurting more then they were helping. I chose to try it for one semester, one year....make a small goal.

I'd be happy to talk with you more offlist if you like at ____@____.com

Good luck Momma-bear!!

Katerine,

I agree with you. It is inappropriate for someone who is not a trained physchiciatrist or doctor to tell you your child need medication. If they were qualified to diagnose and perscribe medication, then they would be a doctor. In my opinion, those medications are over-perscribed. You may want to complain to the principle and request that your child be transferred to another class. I don't know if that works or not. Good luck to you.

E.

K.,
I am a therapist and work with children. I also used to do work in the school system. I am infuriated that the teacher, after two weeks, says she "knows" your 5 year old has ADHD and needs med.s. I'd like to know where she got her degree in psychiatry! I'm sorry you are going through this. First of all, I wouldn't let them lure you into overreacting. TAke your time on this. If he ends up repeating Kindergarten, so what? You will make that decision when it is time to make it.. not 2 weeks into the year. Secondly, if he does in fact have ADHD, there are things to try before medication (therapy, behavioral interventions, changes at home, etc.) Often what looks like ADHD can be something completely different (adjustment reactions to changes at home, sleep disorders, anxiety disorders or reactions etc.) Not to mention that just because a child is distractible or hyperactive does not necessarilly denote ADHD. I would want to see that the teacher / school would try several interventions before pushing medications. In fact, if they want him certified special ed. they should have to call an M-team first and there should be interventions put in place at school. Remember they can not force you to put your child on medication. If you do decide to see a psychiatrist, I would reccomend Dr. Gregory Gass. He will not put your son on ADHD medication unless he really believes it is the best route.
Best of Luck,
L.

I am a teacher and it is law that if they told you to take your son to the Dr. 1. They must pay for the testing 2.) They are not allowed to suggest medication 3.) There are specific plans to follow before this step is taken - ask about an IEP meeting and 504 plan - meet with the Principal! Do not let this "lazy" teacher bully you because she "thinks" your son will not conform to her rules...She was WAY out of line and you have EVERY right to be upset. Go to the superintendent of schools if you have to. Switch classes/teachers. Medication is not always the answer.

DO NOT put your child on meds unless he has been formally tested! Our oldest son has ADD but we took him to Vanderbilt and had him tested with a real doctor and not through the school system. It's so much easier for the school to give your child medication and calm him than to "deal" with him! We do not know the long term effects of these medications so don't risk your son being on them if he may not need to be!
K.

K.,
I do agree with you. 2 weeks into school and to tell you that your child will repete kindergarden is wrong.

I have an 11 year old that was diagnosed a few years ago with adhd, the Dr she saw at Vanderbilt told me that they usually do not diagnose until 3rd grade except in extreme cases. I would take him to my family dr and ask for a referral to a child psychologist that specializes in ADD and ADHD that might favor alternate methods in treating it without meds. Good luck.

K.,

I am the mother of a VERY hyper child, and while occasionally I want to dope her up to calm her down, I don't. The school is just trying to not have to deal with your kid. Unless your doctor has tested him twice with at least a month separating the tests I wouldn't put him on the meds. They are dangerous if they are not needed.

I am sure you are a fabulous Mother, and I know it is hard on your own. I am also a single mother. My daughter is four.

God Bless
J.

Hello K., What has happened to you and your son is illegal. Teachers are educators they are NOT qualified doctors that can determine what is going on with your child.You are right the first 2 weeks of school is too soon to entertain the idea of ADD or ADHD. If I were you, I would find a qualified doctor to evaluate my son. You mention that you have a learning disability, did you know this can be inherited? Your son may have a learning disability, ADD/ADHD or he may be a normal boy that doesn't like worksheets! You need to check out your rights as a parent in your state.

Don't let them tell you to put your son on meds. The teacher is probable burnt out and just doesn't want to deal with the children. He just started school and is probably just excited. Children are overmedicated now a days. Trust your own insticts as his mother.

K.,

I don't know how they could determine in 2 weeks that your child has ADD/ADHD without a physician's diagnosis and even make a determination at this time that he may need to repeat kindergarten. Sounds to me like that's an excuse. I think you should listen to your heart and do what you feel is best for your child. Have you talked to the school administrator about what you observed and your concerns? I think that might be the next step for me if I were in your shoes. I don't know that I would feel comfortable having my child in the same classroom as the teacher you've described above for the entire first year of school. This will be a building block for the rest of his school years and he needs a good foundation on which to start as well as a positive experience. I would see if there's a possibility to switch classrooms or even schools if that's an option for you.

Kudos to the teachers that did write in below - it's nice to know that there are good teachers out there who are informed about the law and are advocates for our children.

Good luck!

I will do my best to stay off my soap box. My children are now seven and eleven years old and I have had more them my share of experience with child psycology going back to my childhood. First step it to ask for your son to be moved to a different class. Get with the new teacher and explain you want to work with him or her, but your child will not be put on medical. No if ands or buts. You may need to work closly with teacher and do a little extra homework with your son, but you sound like you would rather do what is best and not just what is easy for the teacher. Good luck, you may be in for a little bit of a fight. You are your sons First teacher and don't let anyone tell you they know your child better then you.

It is really infuriating to me that they would immediately classify your child as ADD or ADHD! Especially when you tell me that he has JUST started kindergarten and they aren't even helping him try to to write his name. I would not advise you medicate him. He just needs some guidance and patience. The system is SOOO warped when we have supposed teachers diagnosing our kids with ADD instead of giving them the attention the need as youngsters and new learners. They are forming them and they need to step up! I will be praying for you little one! Also don't let your pediatrician convince you that he needs to be medicated either if you feel that it not right. Society is quick to prescribe and not doing enough investigated what the REAL issue is! I will be sending my daughter to school next year...not looking forward to these issues!

It is NOT just you! This is HORRIFYING!

It just blows me away that this actually goes on and that any parent would ALLOW their children to be labeled and drugged into submission. I'm not even sure I believe that ANY 5 year old can have an attention disorder when they've not even been socialized yet. That's a large part of what school is for! Children have to learn how to pay attention and to behave properly in public, in class, and toward other children and adults. This stuff is not natural and it takes time.

You don't need me to tell you this. Clearly, you already know this is very wrong, and I am SO GLAD you are not willing to just accept all this without question. Listen to your gut- it's very smart! I promise, if your son is told from the very beginning of school that he has a behavior or learning disorder, eventually HE WILL. Children want nothing more to please their caregivers, and the easiest way to do that is give them what they expect to see from the child....

Get your son out of that school!! If you don't drug your child for them, he will only face angrier teachers who already have no intention to teaching him anything- in kindergarden! Find a place where the educators expect the same wonderful things out of your son that you do. I don't know where you live, but I'd sell my blood before I'd put my daughter in a public school in Hamilton County, TN. There are excellent private and/or church schools everywhere. If money is an issue, get a scholarship, work at the school, get a loan, turn off the cable, get a cheaper car, move in with your family....WHATEVER IT TAKES! Don't let anyone tell you it can't be done or that he'll be told the same thing wherever he goes. Be open about your situation and what you're trying to save your son from and it will happen.

I know I'm going on, but I cannot express enough how important this is- and you know this! Too many people turn their parenting responsibilities over to the government and then wonder why their kids aren't raised the way they'd like. If you want more for your tax dollars, change your vote (...that's a whole other issue). But for now, if you want more for your son, change his school and don't take no for an answer. He's worth it!

Much love and luck!

I understand your concern about ADHD meds. More and more it seems schools want to put children on medication to handle problems. I have a stepson who is ADHD and is on meds. I believe he is on too much medication. But since I am not his mother or father, I have no say in his medication. Once the medications are started, you have an ongoing emotional issues as well. If you want more of my opinion I will be glad to let you know about our rollar coaster we have experienced. I am not tottaly against ADHD meds. for kids that really do need it.

Wow, I'm a little taken aback by your request! As a teacher myself, I know that it is not legal to diagnose, or really even suggest ADHD or medication. Your child's teacher is allowed to suggest taking him to a pediatrician but that's it. And yes, 2 weeks into school is way too early to predict whether a child will need to repeat. I would make another effort to talk to the teacher (once you're not as angry) and ask if what you saw when you sat in was typical. Of course he probably behaved much better with you in the room...I saw that all the time with my 1st graders. But that gives the teacher a chance to explain exactly what behaviors he is displaying. I'd also ask if worksheets are typical for that classroom and ask how much the kids are allowed to be active as they learn. If talking to the teacher doesn't help, you may have to discuss it with the principal. But I would let the teacher know that's what you're doing so she doesn't think you're going behind her back. Try to be calm and look at things through her perspective, letting her know that you're there to work with her and that you both just want what's best. Hopefully, she'll do the same. If not, at least you'll know you've tried and then you can explain what's going on to the principal. I hope this helps!

Oh and can I say that no child back in the old days when Kindergarten was about socialization would have been considered ADD or ADHD at all! A child I know who just started Kindergarten said it best when asked if he liked school "No, it just takes too long." We expect our children to be in school for 6 or 7 hours a day when they get to Kindergarten and learning 1st grade material, it is definitely hard for these children. I mean give me a break!!!!! I have a 6 year old who had a hard time last year in Kindergarten! We are now dealing with the same in 1st. E.

K.,

Hi there. I'm so sorry that your son had to get a Teacher like that. If I was you I would go and talk to someone at the school and see about getting him into a different class. I would also go and talk to his Dr. See what they tell you. If they tell you that meds are needed then I would do what they say not what the school says. I have worked with Children that have ADD and ADHD they don't sit for anyone for any time with out getting up. Also its the 2nd week of school she has no right to tell you that if he is not put on meds that he will have to be held back. That is not right at all and you need to say something about it. Your the only one that can stand up for your son. I know if it was not for my Mom standing up for me I would not be where I'm at today. There are good teacehr's and there are a few bad ones. I'm sorry that your son got a bad one for his first year in school. I hope that I have helped you in some way. Good Luck and God Bless you and your Son.

K. K.

This is ridiculous. You most definitely need to go to the school board immediately. Explain to them that you do not agree with using medication to "treat" a child's natural inquisitive, goofy, child-like behavior. ADD and ADHD are the most over diagnosed conditions in children, especially young ones; these kids do not have a disorder, they are kids behaving as children should. If I were you, I would have my son removed from that class, if not the school, and have the teacher and whoever else backs her opinion reported for their ill-attitude. Kindergarten teachers are supposed to be compassionate and sweet natured. This teacher obviously is not.

Good luck and keep us updated!

K.,

If your son can behave around you than obviously it is not ADHD. ADD and ADHD are medical conditions where the child is unable to settle down and behave himself no matter who is there. It sounds like his teacher is either inexperienced or just lazy. Either way, he may need a different teacher. Most good doctors will only prescribe medications to children, that actually have ADD or ADHD, as a last resort. Being a Pharmacy Technician, I used to fill ADD prescriptions for children in group homes. Most of the time it was a way of controlling them, not because of ADD, but because they were just children and the adults were overwhelmed by them. I would never give my child those medications even if he had ADD. If by a small chance he is diagnosed by a specialist in ADD, ADHD there are alternatives to medication. I don't know if you are familiar with James Dobson, but he discussed the use of medications and the alternatives and had some resources, you might try family.org. I would call the principal and have a meeting. If he has a regular doctor I would consider calling him and making an appointment, only to have leverage with the school after getting an all clear from the doctor. If that did not resolve the problem, I would consider putting him in another school. Sorry this is so long, but I hope it helps. One more thing, if by chance his doctor does diagnose him, I would see a specialist for a second opinion. It is very common for doctors to misdiagnose this.

Hi K.-- I have a son who is 4 1/2 and has more energy than should be allowed!! If I were in your place I would be very concerned about a teacher wanting to medicate my son--especially only two weeks into the school year. Obviously there is an adjustment period for children when they start something new and school is a BIG something new! I would raise your concerns with the principal and possibly see if there is another classroom he can be moved to. Testing is not just a "formality" there are many reasons children act the way they do and drugging them because their behavior is an inconvience is wrong. I'm not saying your son doesn't have adhd but it really irrates me the way this has become a catch-all diagnosis and is so readily handed out. I truley believe some kids are just hyper compared to others; the same way some are shy and some are extremely extroverted. Food allergies, lack of sleep, and maturity levels are also reasons some kids have a hard time following directions or sitting in a classroom all day. I'm not against helping a child with meds if they truely need it--I have an eight year old nephew who has benefitted greatly from medication. His grades have gone up, he has more friends and can keep focus better than before he started his meds. What I really want to stress is don't be bullied into putting your child on medication. You are a GOOD mom to want to figure out what is really going on with your child and not just accepting what is being told to you---don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Talk to your pediatrician and see what he thinks, since he has a history with your son he may be able to give you a better idea if your son has an issue or if it is normal behavior. Addressing the teaching "skills" of your sons teacher--doesn't seem like there are many there!! I know teaching is not an easy job and I thank God for all the great teachers I had growing up! And to be fair two weeks may not be long enough to judge her either..........but I would still try to switch him to another class or even check and see if there are any magnet schools in the area that may be a better fit for your son. You are your sons greatest advocate -- go with your gut and do what you feel is best for him. Sorry if I got long winded-- the over-medicating of our kids is a pet peeve of mine. Good-luck, A.

First and foremost, do not just jump on the bandwagon and put your son on meds. Those meds are a legal form of methamphetimine. Only a pediatrician who has examined and observed behaviors over at least a six month period of time can properly diagnose ADD and ADHD. Your school actually gets more money if your child is diagnosed with ADD and is taking meds since he is labeled by the school system as having a disability. Schools and teachers are misdiagnosing children at increasingly alarming rates in the last ten or so years. They are not qualified to do so. There are several wonderful websites regarding the diagnosis of ADD, alternative therapies if he does have ADD, etc. I think you should listen to your gut instincts. Most five year olds have tons of energy. It is not unusual for them to have a hard time concentrating or sitting still. I think this is especially true for kids who have been able to stay at home with mom and or dad while being a toddler. These kids haven't been in daycare or preschool most of their little lives and therefore haven't had the conditioning of those who have attended daycare and whatnot. Nothing wrong with either child, though. I think you should take with your child's pediatrician and see what he says. If you don't like what you hear, definitely go and seek a second opinion. Do not let your child's school bully you into putting him on meds. There have been several deaths in children who have taken ADD and ADHD meds for long periods of time. Also, if you do some research online you will find that many of the symptoms listed for ADHD are the same as symptoms for food allergies, hearing and vision problems, other learning disabilities such as dyslexia, sleeping or eating problems, and even giftedness. This is why it is so vital for a diagnosis to be made only after a sufficient period of time has elapsed. Your child's teacher should know better. I would consider discussing her behavior with the school principal and if that doesn't work, I would definitely call the school board superintendent. People like her are the reason why so many kids are misdiagnosed with ADD and ADHD.

I hope everything works out for you and your son. Keep us posted.

I agree it is early to be placing limitations on your son. My brother and I were both ADHD, he was placed on medication and I was not. If your son is diagnosed with ADHD or ADD then only you and your doctor can determine if medication is best for the level of his disability not the teacher or the school. Our educational system is failing us, it is to easy for the system to rely on medications to control our children instead of using our god given gifts of patience and guidance. I would speak with the school principal about your situation.

I'm with you, I do not think after two weeks of something as simple as Kindergarten, the teacher would have the ability to say he'll have to repeat a grade. NOR does she have the ability to say he should be medicated just to go to her class. I think you should speak with the principal of the school. I wouldn't call, I would just show up and ask for a moment of his/her time. Talk with the principal and certainly talk with the doctor. Ask the doctor if they think it's necessary to have a child so young on ADHD or ADD meds.

I'm a sleep tech, and I get several kids every other week in my labs. Usually the doctor thinks the kids snore too much or possible that they have ADD or ADHD. A sleep test may show that your childs sleep is causing a problem. If it were me, I'd do just about anything to keep mine off of drugs, even prescribed. Msg me privately if you need to. :) Hope some of that helps.

Girl, you need to take your son out of school. Your story has enraged me to no avel. I have a 10 month old son and in a short 4 years and 2 months I will be in your situation. teachers are getting lazy and children are suffering. It's one thing if your son has a condition but only you as a mother can be the truest judge of your son's character. But Especially not a teacher of kindergarden whose own education is Questionable. I have been weighing my options of home schooling my son. At first it seems like a scary option, but there is a huge network of people out there that opted for home school and have found it to be most rewarding. I hope that thing work out for you and that your son at the very least get a new teacher.

HiKatherine,I donot understand that in two weeks they can diagnose your son as adhd.They are not doctors, They are supposed to be educating your son.It sounds like the teacher is not very good at keeping the kids attention, she is boring! If he is acting out, It sounds like he is just bored. I have a three and six year old boys, He is acting like all kids that age. That does not mean he needs meds or has adhd.My oldest is in first grade and he gets bored, he has to be intrest, or he doesnt want to do it.I think the teacher is lazy and she is coping out and blaming it on adhd.Please get a second opion ,I will be praying for you,Take Care and good luck T.

K. I must first appauld you in taking the first step of seeking help. For God said, Seek ye First the Kingdom of Heaven and His Righteousness and All things will be added unto you. Pray about it, take your son to his Peditrician and they will recommend you if needed. Also, Pray and ask God for Wisdom, Knowledge that you may receive and Understanding to all he wants of you, and for your family. I Pray God's Blessing upon you and your son. Draw closer to God and he will direct your path.
GOD BLESSINGS UPON YOU!!!