Adhd - Siler, KY

get a second or even a third opinion. ADHD is too quickly diagnosed instead of looking for what may be causing the problem. My friend was going to take her son to a sleep study but before they did the study the doctor wanted to do some blood work. Turns out for years the child, now a teen, had low iron and this kept him from getting a good nights sleep which caused sleep deprivation, causing truoble in school, etc. I beg you, go get a couple more opinions. A. W

Hi M.,
I have a husband who has ADD (and they are in the process of evaluating my younger son for ADD). My husband has gone back on his medicine for ADD. I know several people grow out of it but he never did. I am very anti-meds myself, but you know, sometimes it is just necessary. However, the reason I wanted to respond to you was because my husband went off of his meds for the same reason, it made his personality different when he was on them and he didn't like how it made him feel. As the doctor said YOU are his mother and that means you have to do what is best for your child. That means listening to how he is feeling and involving him in solving the problems he is having. Sorry doc that came back and bit you. I fully agree that he may need meds, but let him be involved in figuring out which one he needs or how much he needs. He is the ONLY one that can tell you how the meds are working for him, so it just doesn't make sense to not listen to what he is telling you. Let him know that you understand how he is feeling and that he doesn't like the meds, but that without them he was in trouble at school and that isn't any fun either. Make a suggestion that he try different meds. I understand being wary of the side effects, but if you are involving your son it shouldn't be a big deal because he will tell you what is going on with the meds if he is experiencing side effects. I look at it this way. He is a child right now, but your job as his mom is to help him learn to be an adult. If you exclude him from this decision how is that helping him learn how to take care of himself as an adult when you are not there to do it for him anymore? There are tons of different meds, there are all natural ways... there is no meds and trying to do it yourself. Only you and your son can decide what is best for him. The doctor is a tool to help you, but he is not the decision maker for your family. Talk to a doctor who is willing to be your helper in this, and not try to just do what is easiest for him. I did have to put my older child on anxiety meds for about a year in first grade because he cried for weeks on end - almost nonstop - about having to go to school. He had loved kindergarten and I just didn't know what was going on. We took him to a doctor who put him on meds and we were so relieved that he wasn't so upset about school anymore, then we started noticing behavior problems he had never had before. When we told the doctor about it he told us it was "Superman Syndrome" that he was just exploring life without the restrictions of fear and that it would pass. Anyway to make a long story short, the behavior didn't pass after 2 months and the doctor continued to ignore us and refused to take him off the meds. We went and found a different doctor who changed his meds and he became my child again, the only difference was that the constant worry and crying was gone. My point is that doctor's don't always do what is best for you, find one who will. I wish you the best of luck.
C.

He says it makes him happier when he isn't on the medicine.. how did he feel while on it, sad, suicidle, sleepy? There are medications other than just one for adhd. Insist on trying others before giving up, if you want to keep trying. If you decide to let him choose, there have got to be other alternatives to use as discipline while at school. Teachers are overwhelmed as it is, so they have to have something to do when bad behavior occurs. If he's having trouble focusing, finishing tasks, and completing work, that sounds more like add than adhd. Just a little something you might want to check out. ADHD is a hyper form, which he would be disrupting class if he has it. I've seen medicines work, and I've seen them have side-effects that hinders work performance in the classroom because of sleepiness, etc. It's your call. You ARE the parent, so don't be bullied by your son, OR the doctors. I wish I could help more, but this is what I know and some things I've faced. Praying for your situation!

Hi M., I also am a mother of a almost 11 year old daughter with ADHD. I have tried everything for her in the past(counseling, NO Sugar or dyes, Herbal remedies) and nothing has seemed to work. She also used to beg me not to take her meds. I now have her on Metadate CD. This med is like eyeglasses, she only has to take it when needed. I give it to her when she has school to help her focus, but other than that I rarely give it to her. At the beginning of every school year I send her to school for about the 1st 2 weeks to see how she does. Then go in and just talk to the teacher. So far she has still needed it for school and they can tell if I happen to forget a day. My daughter understands now that she needs it to keep on task at school only. Plus it makes her feel like she has some say in the situation by not having to take a pill everyday. I've also noticed that her appetite is much better now. When she used to be on the other meds. she hardly ate and her belly was messed up all the time. It used to break my heart. She is doing much better now. Everyday is a struggle with her but we are making it one day at a time. I wish you luck!! and hope this helps just a little. CHRIS

My son is only 7 years old, but we have been through the list of ADHD medications. His ADHD is just a symptom of a rare disease that he has, and as part of his disease, he has a tendency to adapt to new meds quickly, and they become ineffective. That being said, I still would not go without the meds. We fought medicating for a long time, but I have seen the difference that it makes for him in school, and he is still a very happy child. I think it is really just finding the right medication.

I would suggest working closely with your doctors to find the meds that work best for him, in keeping him focused, but don't change his personality. With our son being able to adapt so quickly, and us not knowing which would work for him to begin with, his neurologist turned it over to his pediatrician (who is closer and can monitor him more), and many times he will give us a prescription for a new med for 10 days. If we do not like the way he is reacting to it (some have given him nightmares, and others have kept him up all night) we discontinue it immediately. Otherwise, we give it the 10 days to see how well it helps with focusing and control. If it works well, we keep him on that for awhile. If it does not, then we try something else.

I have talked to people (including a nurse) who told me they don't give their children the meds when they are at home, but to me that would just mess with his system.

Hey, I rrsponded to the wrong person. However it is vital you get this bit of info from me. Medication ruined our lifes. My son never had any health problems and after they put him on concerta,he now has had ticks for two years. It is a side affect they dont tell ou about. Your son knows his body and you should listen to him. As for his doc I would tell him to fly. Research all the medication. Dont just give him what the doc says. I am telliung you medication was the worst decision we ever made. There are natiural things out there to control ADHD. It isnt worth his health. God bless you and him. Please listen to your child!!

I am a 4th grade teacher with 2 grown children. My mother is a retired registered nurse. We both are very cautious to have any children take chemical medications. I do not take Tylenol and very few other chemicals, especially since there are natural alternatives to these products which will not harm my body. Tylenol and asprin are very hard on your liver and stomach, I want mine to be healthy for my whole life. ADD meds. do have lots of side effects. You can do an Internet search and find all kinds of problems that may be associated with them. There are even tests that link future drug or alcohol use and infertility to ADD meds. Our infertility rate in the USA is over 10%. I am sure you know many couples who are taking fertility drugs or are unable to have children, studies show that many of them also regularly took prescription drugs as children.
There are so many other ways to control ADD and other childhood problems. You can try dietary changes, learning focus & study skills. As a teacher, I know that people with lots of energy are the ones who get things done when they are adults. Most teachers are slightly ADD themselves. Your child may need to learn how to take notes or other listening skills to help them stay focused. He needs to learn how to function without drugs. You don't want him to start to think he needs drugs in order to function in society. You might also see if he needs tutoring outside of school. Often places like Sylvan Learning centers help students learn study skills that help them stay focused and help them feel more comfortable in class.
I also see that it is harder for some children on meds. to retain what they learn. They may act as though they are drugged up- easy to keep their behavior in line, but they have a hard time learning. I have seen a few children who are able to concentrate better when on meds. but they are the exception not the rule. I usually refer my parents to a local health food store and have them follow the advice of a good doctor who believes in modifying your diet and other habits before prescribing drugs as a last resort. We really are unsure of the long term affects of most drugs. People in our country have health problems that were rare or unheard of 40 years ago or are not problems in other countries who don't use so many drugs.
Keep searching, you will find some answers that are better for your son. He is correct, you don't feel right when you are medicated. He will be healthier and better able to retain info. if he makes some changes now. You cannot just stop the meds. without changing something else. We often find that children who drink mostly water and drop sodas and caffeine quickly see a difference in how they are able to focus. Our brains are mostly water and need a constant supply of fluids to function correctly. Increasing fruits and veggies while decreasing fast foods and heavily processed foods are another big help- especially look out for MSG, artificial sweetners, and artificial colors. Exercise and fresh air- all of those things they tell us are good for us will help.

Hi M., I have a 10 yr. old boy and he has been on adderall for ADD since Kinder. He too says he is much happier without the medicine. We tried to switch him to concerta over Christmas and he was happier and had an appetite!!! He ended up developing a cough that we think was a reaction to the concerta (side effect). HE is still coughing even after ENT Dr. put on on allergy and asthma meds. Not sure if it was the concerta or not. My Husband and I know Jordan focuses more on the med. and we want him to do well in school. We do have a friend who took their son off in H.S. and he did fine. ADHD is a little different because you have the hyperactivity to deal with. It is hard enough for kids to sit still hour after hour and is more difficult for your son. This is a hard call. You don't want him getting into trouble. I feel he may not be quite old enough yet to be able to control himself in class. Maybe wait until he matures a few more yrs. How long has your son been on ADHD meds.? I worry about growth. My son is so small (his father was the same at this age so I',m not to worried yet), but I don't want the meds. to affect his growth. Any feedback on this I would love to hear? Don't know if I have helped you much, but I am an asst. teacher 4th grade and I see boys getting in trouble everyday for not being able to be still and quite.
D. W.

my son takes ritalin 4 his adhd. i hope we can chat and become friends. my son is 7. the school he goes to has seen a big improvement since he has been on his meds. love A.

Hello, My best friends has a few sons with ADHD. One is also by-poler She decided to call a classic homeopathic doctor and they were able to find a homeopathic remedy to help him. He is now been off 1/2 his meds. for 4 years and WHAT A DIFFERENCE! He does not scream his answers any more, he has lost weight and now weighs what he should, and he is happier and so is mom. If you want the name of the practitioner write me back privately. The Homeopathic took the case over the phone.

H.

Hey M., I would like for you to take a look at my website and read about the Feed My Brain. The owner of the company that sells this product has a son that is ADD or ADHD and he has totally changed after being on this product. It is totally natural and has been clinically proven to help children and adults. He said he had spent over $12,000 or more in getting help for his son, Tommy. I would be happy to try and get a call together for you to speak with this gentleman about his son.

Please let me know what you think?? My website is www.acaiplus.com/25894.

I know that this is hard to go through because I have a son that is soon to be 39 years old and he is profoundly deaf.

Let me know if you have any questions. Feel free to call me at ###-###-#### or email me with your number and a good time to call you and I'll be happy to call you.

My email is ____@____.com!

Have a wonderful and May God Bless you!

J. Dobbins

goodmorning M., I have a son who started out with adhd and progressed to bipolar. first may I ask what medicine is taking? the reason I asked is because when my son was 12 he did take resperidol to keep him focus and on task in school. later I found out that he was just being lazy. he told me that he no longer needed the medicine and like you I tried it his way. you are not creating a problem your descision was based on the person who's taking the medicine. research other medicines for the condition. keep in tune with your son. my son is now 19 and a NAVY GUY! GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!

Dear M.,

There is a safe, natural alternative to ADHD meds and it is called the Feingold program (www.Feingold.org). Your son should not have to take meds if he doesn't want to because the meds ARE very harmful - that's why they have so many side effects and why your son doesn't feel good taking them. I know ADHD is an extremely difficult problem, our family lived with it for ten years until we got on the Feingold program. Best of luck.

L. B.

Personally, I have all but ditched any sort of pharmaceutical, unless it is an antibiotic that is absolutely necessary. There are so many natural medicines that are available that are not as damaging to the body as ritalin, adderall, cylert, etc. My son is ADHD, and we stopped giving his medication to him about 12, and we have just continally reinforced the need for him to LEARN to focus and concentrate, or it's back on the meds (although I would never give him the prescription stuff again). He has done very well, even though there have been ups and downs. However, if you would like to try some natural alternatives, you can go to the health food store and speak with the owners. They are very knowledgeable about natural medicines, and should be able to recommend something. Valerian is made from the powdered root of the valerian plant. It is the natural substance that is the base for valium, but you can take it (if you can stand the taste) and it does not make you a zombie or anything like that. Also, passionflower is something that has a calming effect...here in the south they are called "maypops" but they do work. Also, Kava is another natural medication that is calming. I have all of the above on hand in my house, and take the Kava myself because I get so high strung and stressed out that I break out in hives. The upside of taking natural medications is that they do not have the methamphetamine effects on the body (increased heart rate, decreased appetite, nervous ticks). Any medical doctor will tell you that alternative medicine should be avoided at all costs because they are not regulated, and it leads to self-diagnosis and self-medication....blah blah blah. However, your son knows his body better than anyone else, and if he does not like the way the medication makes him feel, then you DO have other alternatives than prescription medications. Even things like chamomile tea, or catnip, lemon balm and skullcap will have a calming effect. All of these things are from plants and flowers. I am a firm believer that God put everything on this planet for us to take care of ouselves, regardless of any warnings from a licensed physician (who, by the way, doesn't make a profit if we are drying and grinding up maypops in our kitchen). Good luck; it is not easy being the parent of an ADHD child :)

I would give a lot of weight to what your son is telling you. If he says the meds are making him feel badly you should give this high consideration in your decision. However, you can also use this with your son... Remind him that with the meds, he focuses better in class and controls his behavior more effectively. Tell him that sonce he wants to make the grown up decision to go without the meds, he has to also take on the grown up responsibility of controlling his behavior. It is a trade off. At first, you are going to have to remind him a whole lot. Help him set up reminders for himself, like written schedules so he knows what to do each day. He needs to start to identify the feeling of losing focus and concentrate on drawing himself back to the task at hand. Checklists are also helpful.

Good luck. I know that not all kids are the same, but I had the ADHD experience with both my kids. I went to the school meetings and felt very pressured to medicate. Almost as though I was a neglectful or bad mother becuase meds weren't an option with me. My kids didn't want medications because they had seen it change their friends. My kids both work hard to stay in touch with how they are feeling and pull themselves back when they start to zone out. They use calendars, checklists and daily agendas to make sure they get things done. We all use sticky note reminders.

Please listen to your son. I am a teacher and I have seen students get depressed from the medication. Yes, they are calm and not a disruption to the class. But, I would rather have a child disrupt class than feel like (or actually) commit suicide. Doctors can tell you that there are many side effects to drugs. There are side effects to anything we put in our body. When we feed our babies too many carrots, they turn orange!!! But, as the mother, you are the best judge of your child. Please look at a different medication, an herbal remedy (I suggest going to Whole Foods in Green Hills), or another avenue. But, don't force him to take any medication that makes him feel in an altered state!!!

I also have a son who is 13 and has adhd. He always says he would like to come off the meds. I have tried in the past but have the same problems in school as you stated. We finally came to an agreement that he would take the meds until he was out of high school. I told him it was my responsibity to get him through school and then he could make his own decisions. He is ok with this and has not asked to come off in a while. It also makes our relationship better when he is on the meds because I do not have to constantly correct him. You might suggest not taking it during the summer. I also tried this but both he and I realized that his behavior was not good and it was effecting the whole family so he went back on it. I am hoping as he gets older he will continue to take it to help him succeed. If you ever need someone to talk to or compare notes please let me know. It really helps to be able to talk to someone who is in the same boat. PS I agree with your doctor.
God Bless,
A.

My nephew also has ADHD and my sister said "I would hate for him to not be at his very best, or at worst fail a grade, and know that I could have done something to prevent that" He gets his meds because it allows him to be his very best.

If it were me I would have a second opinion or atleast try some other meds. They have so many out there these days that have different reactions to different people, but if it is bothering you son that much I would try something else. My son was on several different types for several years. Every time we tried something new it would work for about a month then it waas like his body became immune to it so we would try something different or raise the dosing. Well after raising it the last few times I started feeling uncomfortable with it and I had also went to 4 different doctors. I made the choice to take him completely off all meds and explained to the teachers he was not on anything and I refused to put him on anything else for the reason it didn't work anyways. That is just a tid bit of my story. I know the meds work well for some kids(I have seen it) but it just wasn't for mine. He also had the depressed like feeling when he was on his which is what also helped me come to the decision I did. hope this helps a bit. Jenn

my grandson is 8 yrs. old and without his meds. , he is the same way, doesn't consintrate,on his school work either, I'd say if he is having problems, talk to the dr. about what he has him on, maybe it is too strong for him.......Good Luck

Ultimately you'll have to be the one to just make the decision. I don't believe there are many Drs. out there that will tell you not to give him the meds. My own son has ADHD, but the extremely innattentive kind. I've struggled with the same issue as you for 4 years now. The neuro that he he's equates his medication as if it were glasses for being vision impaired. That is not really fair to say to a Mom, obviously we would do anything to help our children. The thing with my son (10) is that he still has just as hard a time focusing, staying on task and completing assignments without many many many (did I say many?) prompts, even when he takes his medication. So what's the point??? I plan on homeschooling him next year. He isn't a behavoir problem, so he just flies under the radar at school, and is now pretty behind. I haven't been giving him medication on the weekends for a long time now, but I usually work then so he's with my husband. My husband also says that he is a happier kid then, and more himself. My best wishes to you and your son. K.

Hi! Sorry to hear you are having trouble with the meds! Sounds like he needs to keep on the meds. You didn't say which medicines he is on. Might try another med. I understand why he doesn't want to take the medicine. He likes the high he is on when off the meds. Would be ok, if he could settle down and focus on his work at school and at home. I am raising a grandson that has adhd,bipolar, ocd and tourettes. These children are born to these diseases. Some outgrow some of them and others get worse. You should get with a doctor you really trust and believe in. Do what the doctor says and what you think is best for the child. He is a child you know. You wouldn't want to turn him loose with the checkbook and he is not mature enough to do what is best for him, only what feels good! You are the parent. Be his Mom, not his best friend. He will love you dearly for it. Being a Mom is a very hard thing to be, doing what is rite for the child, might not always be easy to do. You have to look at the bigger picture,40 or so years from now. He doesn't have the capeability to do that, you do! Good luck! Try Labonuer in Memphis,Tn. That's where I take my grandson to see a neuroligst. They have given us a light at the end of the tunnel! Doctors around here try hard, but are just not trained in the brain area as well.

Hi M.,

I understand your concern. We just want to help our children. I have an 8 year old son with ADHD and more recently he was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I have had the same conversations with him about how he feels when on his meds. I can tell you, the same issues as you have arise. He says the meds make his stomach feel "weird". I, like you, let him go without the meds for a bit also....just to see what the results were. Teacher phone calls started coming in. I have tried different meds, and finally have one that works and doesn't give him any negative side effects...so far. oh, and some of the others were horrid side effects...so I think it is a matter of trying different ones until you find the right one. I also have had the push-back from others..."you don't need to medicate your child, it is a discipline that he needs", " i would NEVER give my child drugs"...etc. They don't live my son's life or mine. Since the meds he has been focused and is an A student, has been able to maintain relationships and IS a happier child (even though he says he's not!). We, as the parent, have a tough job. My feeling is that it is more beneficial to him to take it, then not. I truly understand where you are coming from. Feel free to email me if you like. Oh, by the way...single mom here with 2 sons, 8 and 6. Good luck!

M.,
I'm a mother of a 12 yr old w/ADHD. For months we tried everything from the award chart to behavior therapy before reluctantly medicating our son. The behavioral psychologist that treated him (along with the medical doctor and school staff) asked a very simple question: Wouldn't you give your son a coat if he was going out in the cold? Well, he needs a coat just like he needs the medicine. We didn't like it, but it kept him focused and curbed his emotional outbursts in school. But NEVER did we hide what was going on from the teacher. She appreciated being 'in the know' from the beginning. It's only fair to her since your son is in her care most of the day, don't you think? Taking him off like that AND not telling your son's teacher was setting him up for failure, including his class and his teacher. Please don't try that again without letting everyone involved know. The school staff will support you and thank you for taking an active role in his success.
I understand what you're saying about the side effects. Our son was on Adderall for years. It stunted his growth, curbed his appetite, made it hard for him to fall asleep at night and occasionally left him with feelings of depression and headaches when he took 'vacations' from it on weekends. It's hard to see them go through this stuff, but we are the parents, just like the doctor said. You have to decide what's best for him. His education and study habits will benefit or hinder him in the future. So the choice you make today can decide a lot. Better to put him on meds now and focus on coping skills that he can work with for the rest of his life than let him loose in a classroom where he and other students will constantly be distracted and have a frazzled teacher on your hands. We took our son off the meds during summers and just recently read the benefits of cod liver oil. Now he takes a softgel of c.l.o. in the morning and occasionally after school and it seems to be working almost as well as the meds. Don't forget that he's at that pre-teen age where behavior and feelings change from being little kids. So remember you're not alone and have our support. Just get him the help he needs. God bless!

I am the mother of a 13 year old boy with ADHD as well. We have yet again changed his medication because he is doing so poorly in school. We are now on the Daytrana patch, 15mg. So far... fingers crossed, my son likes this better than the pills. I didn't inform the teachers just so they would not be expecting anything, but I did check in with some of the teachers to see if they had noticed any changes. I haven't gotten a response from them yet, but it is only the first full week on the new stuff. My son seems to like the way it makes him feel and I don't see the withdrawals like I have on other med's. He even came home last Thursday and said he felt smarter... Intelligence has never been the issue, doing and turning in the homework and any assignments has... We have chosen to make our son stay on the med's. He doesn't have to ability to not get into trouble when he is off them and that is not fair to him. Hope this helps with your decision. Good luck and stay strong for him. S.

My brother has a severe form of ADHD called aspergers syndrome. He was put on every medication under the sun it seemed, and he was constantly druged up, (and hated it) untill he was taken to see an allergy speciallist. He has had a lot of sucess with changing his diet, there is a lot of information out there about the causes of certain food dyes and preservatives as well as wheat and processed sugar like high fructose corn syrup. Do some research and talk to an allergist. Good luck.

Hi M.,

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hi M.
well i for one have the same thing going on i have 2 children that take a med. for ADHD and ADD i fought it for a year after teachers told me that both of my sons had it and finally i went and talked to a dr. trust me i didnt want to put them on the meds. my oldest is 12 and he says the same thing and a part of me wants to take him off of it and say ok no more but then i look at the fact that he cant focus and he does have a hard time understanding school work so i then have to set aside do i want him to stuggle and every one be stressed out or do i contiune with the meds. i am looking out for his future i dont want him to be 20 years old and still in high school you know what i mean because hes already failed once and if he stuggles then there would be taht chance he would fail again which would just keep putting him behind
the good news is i have heard that they will grow out of it so if i were you i would just give it a little bit more time at least get him to high school and then see how he does and who knows he might need it through school but after school be done with it i hope this helps

I am inclined to agree with the doctors as far as you being the parents and your son being the child. It seems obvious that he needs some sort of treatment, but there are various treatment courses out there. Have the doctors suggested any medications that may not cause your son to feel how he does on the one he has already tried? If not, I would definitly get a second opinion and try to find a solution that will help him focus with out giving him the "BLAHs". It is possible that your son is also testing your authority and just doesn't want to take any medicine, in which case, you may have to lay down the law and tell him he has take something to treat his condition. My daughter is also in a program through Centerstone that gives her focusing excersizes and techniques that help her deal with her ADD, so I would look into those programs also. I hope this helps. I know it can be frustrating to deal with, but don't give up. Find a doctor willing to work with you and try new things until you find the right combination that helps your son. And encourrage him also so that he knows this isn't just about school but a better chance for him enjoy everything that God has for him to experience.

I am no expert or anything, however I do have 4 young children and I just don't like the idea of the labels they give these kids and the medicines they want to put them on. If I were you I would get a second opinion. I think a lot of the problems our children have is their diet there is loads of sugar in everything which just adds to their already active behavior. My son and daughter is very active so I just put them in soccer and sports that will help them focus and get rid of some of that energy. I wish you the best!

It never hurts to get a second opinion. You just need to decide how much energy you are willing to invest in helping him to manage himself without the medications.

Dear M.,

Could you try changing his medication? Maybe a different one (like Strattera, not a stimulant, but can take up to 3 weeks to start working) might make him feel less sad, or more happy. I would try that route before fighting with him about the medication. Finding something that works and makes him feel comfortable in his skin is just as much a part of treating him as finding a medicine that helps him focus in school. The reason I say this is because I had a friend who had the same issue with his son as you have with yours; however, the son was in high school and college. Unmedicated, he was "the life of the party", Mr. Personality, etc. But his grades were awful. When he was medicated he did really well in school, but he didn't like not having his bubbly personality, so he quit the meds his high school senior year. His grades took a nosedive his senior year, so he couldn't get into the college he wanted to go to. Unfortunately, he couldn't make it through the college he did get into, even though it wasn't such a hard school. He had to drop out the first year. As an adult now he does struggle to be successful - he is still trying to be a golf pro - he likes outdoors and movement, not surprisingly.

Back then there weren't many choices in ADHD medication. My friend, his dad, really wishes they could have tried different ones to find something that his son could "live with".

Good luck with what you and your son decide.
All my best.

I am an adult w/ ADHD. I have just started on ritalin for the first time in the last 3 months. I do have side effects but they are not ones that create problems like the adhd does. ADHD causes me social problems, clutter, and no real goals as an adult(or should I say every goal, I want to do everything). If he has it as bad as I do please weight in how he will do as an adult. All the things I have to struggle with(things I dont like to do) really create depression in my life. When I take the pills they dont bother me much at all. I have been much less depressed and happier with my social skills with others. also, I seem to be much more approachable.

single mom adhd 44

Hi M.,

I have a grandson who is ADHD and I am with quite often, and have spent time with him in his classroom, and he is on concerta, and My grandson who is 10 doesn't like to take his med either, but if he doesn't he is not focus, and I have done some reading on this, and one parent, put their son in Marshal Arts, which helps them to focus, and we are looking into this possibility,
Another thought is take him off of it during the summer, and try giving him coffee,with hardly no sugar,
The caffeine will slow him down, it works the opposite on a child with ADHD, than it would with someone who does not have it.

I hope this helps.

B.

There are a lot of natural ways to help a child that is adhd. I have a husband, daughter and son that are all adhd and my husband does well on the meds, my daughter went off of them at age 9 and I homeschooled her until college age. She is doing fine in college with a 3.5 gpa. My son needs the meds but won't take them. Now. I have heard of several good therapies. There are herbal therapies for adhd, ionic foot baths, reflexology and other alternative medicines. Don't give up, the ionic foot baths and reflexology may also help other health issues for your son. I would definitely try it. I am taking my daughter to someone because she is a vegetarian and is really anti drugs of all kind so i am hoping that this will be effective for her. This natural healing process also helps arthritis, chronic pain, allergies and other problems. I just heard about the foot baths, but I have used reflexology before and found it very good. Also studies have been done that provide adhd children with programs such as horseback riding, rock climbing or other forms of exercise that require all over muscle control and has found that the medication situation is not a cure-all because the substances do not last and the child does not gain control over his focusing because he depends on the meds and not on his own mind. So I feel there must be something to these alternative methods and if your child is not happy with his healthcare at this point, it would not hurt to look into other ideas while keeping the teachers happy for the next couple of weeks while you wean him off the drugs and onto another alternative. Blessings to you and your family.

Do you think that he doesn't want to take them because it's medicine. Will he take vitamins? I have information on some vitamins that contain no chemicals and work extremely well with ADHD children and adults alike. If you think I can help you can find my contact information at www.homeofficemamma.com. I would love to help you out. Good Luck.

I'm not a mom to an ADHD child, but I have been a teacher to many. I taught sixth grade and taught lots and lots of kids, mostly boys, with ADHD. Some were on meds, some were not, and some went back and forth. It really can cause a lot of problems in the classroom, but I can see not wanting to feel some of those side effects. I had one child last year that had little to no appetite b/c of his medication. If I were you, I'd get a second opinion. You have to take everything into account, school life, home life, the opinions of the doctors, and especially the opinion of your child.

I would definitely get a second opinion. The doctor sounds a little high-handed to me. A 12-yr-old can tell you how medication makes him feel. I think it's pretty obvious that he does need some type of medication to help him focus. I would try another one or maybe a reduced dose of the one he was already taken. There are so many different medications out there. Every child is different and you do have to "play" with the dose until you get the desired effect without the unwanted side effects. I would "make a deal" with your son. If he's willing to keep trying different medications, you'll listen to his feedback and try to come up with an acceptable solution for everyone. Good luck!

Hi M.,
There must be something about this med that makes your son not feel well. I'm sure he doesn't like being disruptive in class or unable to focus either. Why don't you see if your son is willing to try a different med and explore this with your doctor. There are many out there and surely one of them will work for him with minimal side effects. It is my understanding that ADHD may be outgrown in some kids at some point in later adolescence and maybe if your son can stay medicated for a couple more years, he can be successful in school and learn some good study habits so he will have these when he gets older and no longer needs or desires meds. When he gets closer to 15 to 16 he will understand how the meds help him or not. In the meantime, ADHD is a medical illness (with a behavioral component) if properly diagnosed and medical illnesses are treated with meds. If he had diabetes, you would not hesitate to treat him with insulin. Is your son being treated by a child psychiatrist? If not, I would pursue that route as that is their specialty. Good luck.

He was prescribed the medicine because he NEEDS it. My 5-year-old granddaughter has been on Ritalin for about 6 months now and is a different child when on it. Twelve years old is not grown - he still needs your guidance and love. You would be doing harm to take him off the medicine.

No i don't have medical background, However yes you are the adults and your son the child he is 12 I assume? all kids have touble focusing in class it's BORING and so yes he will struggle and as far as he said he was happier without it? Of course wihtout it he might not feel like he's on drugs. But look and see how many kids are useing an ADHD med its crazy any time a child is a little bit difficult the use that as a catch all, i am not saying for you not to make him take it and i am not saying to make him take it. Sit down and tell him if you want to be off of it then prove you can be give him a semester off of it to let him show you for sure if he needs it. But, let him know this up front.

M.,

I too have a 12 year old with ADHD. First off let me tell you this in case you get a lot of negative feedback. There are many times when medication is needed. People feel that medicating a child for ADHD is a bad thing. If your child was a diabetic would you not medicate him to keep his blood sugar levels regulated? Sure you would because you want what is best for your child. I was against meds initially, but it has helped my daughter tremendously. You are the parent and if it means that your child needs to be medicated then pray about it and do what you must for your child. My child has been on meds for about 2 years and initially I told her that she was taking a vitamin to help her stay focused and to this day I still call it a vitamin, but I later explained her diagnosis and how it helps her. Her school does not know that she is on meds because they are quick to label kids with ADHD, because they are truly ingnorant to the true diagnosis. I was tested and I too have it and I take meds sometimes. I am a graduate student studying Professional Counseling and the meds help me as well, becaue I too have it. Like the doctor (who is the profession) mentioned continue on the meds. Also please do your reseach like I did. Many people try many meds and they don't always work initialy, that is why there are multiple forms. Just encourage our son and help him when needed. Another thing, if he has it then either you or the father has it as well. THere are six million adults with ADHD that are undiagnosed.

A little about me. I am a 39 year old graduate student at Liberty University. I am a single mother of a 12 year old daughter.

While I agree that researching meds is absolutely in your best interest, and a 2nd opinion never hurts... I want to give you the analogy someone once gave me after we had THREE doctors from DIFFERENT practices to diag our son w/ ADHD and mood disorder....

Imagine the need for glasses... would you let him chose at that point that he feels better without them? The true need for ADHD meds or mood meds (in the case of our child) is very similar to that of eyeglasses, it provides clarity and focus.

Good luck.

I have two friends that were diagnosed ADHD. There are ways to manage ADHD without being on medication. They have both done the non-medication and the medication route. If he doesn't want to be on medication than there are things that you can do to be off the medication and manage the ADHD, I am not completely knowledgeable in this area, but I am sure you can find information on the web or from other ADHD people that go this route. I know that it includes regular exercise, and a diet that contributes to success (I believe staying away from simple sugars, etc). I think he is old enough that if you set up expectations and give him a choice you may be surprised by how he steps up to the plate, or he may willingly decide to do the medication. I think being well informed with all options and setting up a contract with him with the game plan and what is required and the consequence for not following through on his choice will be a good way to handle it, I can't imagine that getting into a power struggle with a teenager (or pre-teen) is ever a great way to handle the situation. Good Luck!

M.,
you need to speak with my friend Andrea. her son was diagnosed with ADHD as well. she decided against medication and started giving him supplements. he has turned his grades around and is doing so much better. i will be happy to give you her telephone number. she lives in candler. god bless.
K.

M.,

I understand exactly what you're going through. I have a daughter thats 12 and was diagnosed with ADHD in the 4th grade. The doctor put her on one med after another trying to find the perfect fit. They kept telling me we'll try another one. She was still struggling. So I made the call to take her off the meds when a teacher told me how to help her cope with this. I had to keep her on a very structured routine. We made lists of every step of her morning to prepare for school and hung them on the walls in her room. In the beginning I would follow-up with her but soon she was following through on her own. We made the same lists for the afternoon. When I knew her routine was going to be different one day, I spoke to her about it ahead of time and several times to give her the time to absorb the changes. The reason for this is the doctors who have done extensive studies on ADHD said that these kids are just as smart or even smarter than other kids but that their brain works differently. It adjusts to a sudden change slower and this can frustrate them and cause them to act out. We assume they are behaving badly and then we escalate the situation. If I sensed that my daughter was headed for an overload I spoke gently and quietly to her reassuring her that everything is fine we'll get things done. I can't tell you how many meltdowns we avoided and even the relief I saw in her face knowing that I was there for her. Another thing is at the beginning of each school year I went and spoke to her teachers about what I was working on and what they could expect. You would be surprised at how many teachers are familiar with ADHD and can actually help you if you give them the chance and let them know that you are there to support them and their efforts every step of the way. Then you aren't alone you have a team behind you. It helps let me tell you. The road with no medications isn't a picnic to be sure but I felt that if I could teach her when she was young how to get this condition under her control that it would make her stronger. I can see that in her now. She can still have the occasional meltdown but they are rare and we both know what we need to do. Her grades have leveled off from bad to B, A & some Cs. That is reassuring in itself. She also makes her own lists and works off them, at home and at school. There are times I sit her down and ask her if she wants to try the meds again and she says no. I can do this. The thing to keep in mind is that you know your child better than anyone. Do what you think is right. Some kids have it to the extreme and need the medications regardless of the risk, but there are those that just need support, guidance and a lot of patience.
L.

Hello, I don't know that I will have any new advice just shared experiences. My son is 6 and we have been on this ADD road for about a year. I have been very disappointed in his pediatrician and the school system. What county school system is your child in?
I have been told really good things about a doctor at Vanderbilt that we have a made an appointment with. His name is Dr Steven Couch at the Child Development Center. The number is ###-###-####. We called mid-March and cannot get into to see him until May. I am very hopeful. We were told by his office staff that Dr Couch does not push medication (he will give it though) but rather behaviour modification techniques to help the child learn to control his focusing issues.
As far as the medications, I just recently took my son off his medication because he was losing so much weight, had picked his fingernails and skin on his fingers to the nub and just never laughed much anymore. It was breaking my heart. He also complained of "heart pain" one night and his "heart beating real fast." I can't seem to get his current pediatrician to act.
I guess what I am trying to say is you are not alone in your frustration and I know how difficult it is to make these judgement calls for you child.
Have you already tried several different medications? I have read over and over again how you have to try several meds before finding "just the right one."
Feel free to contact me at ____@____.com if you want to share more experiences about this.
D. f.

Hi M.,
I understand where your coming from. I have a 15 yr old son dx with PDD-NOS/ADHD. He has been on meds for quite a few years and about a year and a half ago he ask if he could stop his meds. I had the same concerns too and was pretty much told the same by his dr. I decided to give my son the chance to go med free BUT he had to work extra hard to stay focused and his grades couldn't drop. This may have seemed extreme but as of his last report card he is making A/B's. His teachers do say he needs to be redirected sometimes but they have seen an improvement. With that said all kids are different. I would suggest getting another opinion to ease your mind. Also encourage your son if he wants to go without meds he has to work really hard to stay focused. I'm not sure if this is much help but I wish you luck on whatever you decide. K.

I have been using a product that is helpful not only to me but to my 7 year old grandson who is ADD. The gentleman who started me on the product has a grown son that is adhd and he swears that it gave his son his life back and controls the adhd without medication.
You can contact him at ____@____.com
The product is full of nutrition and balances the chemicals in the body and brain.
I would not do without it. I was on 6 medications when I started using it and now with the doctor involved and helping, I am on zero medications. In fact, he wanted to know exactly what I was doing and told me not to stop.
Please contact Peter Greenlaw before you put your child back on the medication. I also have a 19 year old grandson that hated to take the medication and wouldn't take it during summer and at the last two years of high school, refused to take it because it didn't like the way it made him feel. He is doing okay without it.

Hi M.,
I am so sorry you are having to have such confusion over what the best course of support for your son. It seems that the doctors should be able to offer several options for those that want all the facts around helping a situation... but they don't because they are limited to their field of study, which isn't the only way... I had to listen to my son and my heart when I felt the way we were being directed wasn't healthy for him. We ended up finding a school where he was inspired and interested in what they were doing as opposed to a large classroom filled with children that were supposed to behave and sit all day long. I remember sitting with the "team" for our son's IEP at school and they told me he should be on ADHD meds, and that almost half the children there were on them (it was a public school in CT. I was shocked at the number of students and angry that this was happening. Our son thinks differently and needed a school that worked better for him. Good luck with your situation, if there were any advice I could give you, now that I am through that time in our lives and our son is graduating college with two degrees (I'm thrilled for him), it would be to take care of his self image as best you can, love him and listen to him and to your heart.
Warmly, B.

M.,
Hi my name is A. and I have ADHD. I was diagnosed in college with it but I had struggled and been tested majority of my younger years because I was struggling with school and could not focus. I was put on adderall and I absolutley love how it has made my attention span change and how much better i did in classes throughout the rest of college. I admit the side effects do take some getting used to but i know how your son feels. It is hard to admit that you can't focus and make good grades on your own. It does take a toll on realizing that a medication is the only way to focus and it is hard to swallow that you have to take a med just to live. I was 21 when I started taking it and I know that i struggled so much in high school and i had to study so much more than others because i did not have the concentrattion other kids did. Play with the medications not with the thought of not taking them at all. There are many out there to try and I believe that he will have better grades and feel better about himself after seeing that studying is easier and getting good grades are easier will be better off in the long run. Remember that college is expensive and scholarships are needed to help with the expense. He will get used to the thought of taking the meds and thank you later on for making him take them. Trust me in that! I wish that I had only be diagnosed earlier so that I did not stuggle so much in high school.
A.

I know I am late responding but my husband has ADD and was never diagnosed until he was 31. He struggled with school and college and his life was so disorganized and he kept losing jobs and not advancing. He started medications and it helped him significantly-- he stated that he wished he had been on the medications when he was in school-- it could have made a huge difference in his career and his education. So... we are watching our children closely for this condition and will likely be in the same situation as you are someday. Just my 2 cents....

Mel

Our son will be 12 years old next week and he takes medicine daily also. He tells us that the medicine doesn't help and he could focus if he wanted to; however we know the medicine does help him focus in school. He has been on the A/B honor roll this whole year and that is amazing in itself. About a month ago, his teacher contacted us letting us know that he wasn't able to concentrate after lunch, he was wired and moved around constantly. We made a drs appt and we had to increase his dose - he has grown so much over the winter. He still don't think he needs the medicine and we hate to medicate him and spend the money on it; however it has proven to help him with school work and behavior. I suggest to continue with the medicine for now and just like us we hope and pray they will mature quickly so they can quit taking the medicine everyday.

My nephew was on ADHD medicine and he said that it stunted his growth. When he went to live with his dad, he went off of it. His dad made him exercise every day and my mother sent him some kind of powder vitamin made for ADHD. She got it on the internet. He made better grades when he was living with his dad and he was off the meds.
I don't like giving the meds but you certainly don't want him to get behind in school either and from what I have heard my nephew say, it aggrevates him when he is figity and can't concentrate.
So ..... it is your call. Maybe get on the internet and read and see if you can find some vitamins just for that and then tell him if he doesn't take the meds he will have to exercise every day. See if that helps.
I feel for you. I would be in the same position you are in if it were me.
Good luck. I know you will make the right decision.

listen to your gut Mom! He needs the meds. He may find a different one works better for him! I worked in a pediatric office as an RN for the past 2 years. Don't take him off the meds, it will get worse. Look at TY Pennington! He has ADHD and you can tell on Extreme Makeover HOme addition when he is off his meds. You can also use him as a role model for your son!

My oldest son is 21 and has add. Never feel bad or second guess yourself about getting a second opinion. Maybe your son needs a different med. My son couldn't take some due to the mood swings they caused. Good luck and i will keep you and your son in my prayers.
B. sanders

is it possible to put him a lower dosage of his meds. so it will still help focus and stay on task at school, but leave him feeling bogged down and sluggish. i've also heard that there are certain diet aterations you make to help with adhd symtoms...like cutting out refined sugars are and gluten. i'm really sure eexactly what else is involved, but it's probably worth researching. but the doc is right, you are the parent and he is the child and you have to make the decisions that you feel are best, and he must abide them.

I agree with many of the responses. My sister has ADHD, not diagnosed until she was 30 or so and she indicates the side effects can be hard to handle- especially as the meds wear off. She takes 1/2 dose of what they recommend and is able to function but not as many side effects. There is Vivanse which is a proform of Ritalin and is suppose to have less of the side effects because it breaks down slower and gives a longer lasting effect. There is nothing wrong with second opinions, research your area for a pediatric neurologists that has a lot of epxerience with ADHD, they may be able to get the meds better adjusted.
Good Luck!

My 32 year old son has a 7 year old boy with adhd. He wants to keep him off the medicine because he says he doesn't eat well on it. BUT off the medicine, the child can't be still, eats a lot, talks outloud during school, is wide open and don't mind. Put him back on it. He needs it to kinda control his brain activity.

Hello M.~

To be honest with you, I would listen to my child. It sounds like he is old enough to know that it makes him feel different. My 8 year old daughter is ADHD, and I have removed her from all meds because she acted like she was high/stoned on the meds...it didn't matter what brand or what dosage. Try all natural options...take him to a naturpath, they have all natural herbs and vitamins that will help him without all the side effects. My daughter started to take Vitamin B-12 Complex and it helps her concentration. She is doing great in school. She is still a kid, not a quiet robot. You don't have to listen to me, but I think a kid should be a kid and if your son realizes that it makes him act and feel different, then you should listen to him. Good luck.

S.

your pediatrician sound horrible. i hate medicating children as a first step. there are so many things you can try other than meds. i question was posted a few weeks ago regarding natural treatments for adhd, and a lot of great answers were posted. you should look it up. i posted a response regarding diet changes that can really improve adhd and have no side affects, other than your son may miss a few of the foods he is used to. if he is unhappy on the meds, you should find another way to treat his adhd. if you want to know about the diet changes i know about, let me know, but look into the other post regarding natural adhd treatments.

You're right, he is a child but 12 is old enough to know how the meds are effecting him. There are most always alternative treatments available. Most everything can improve with diet and or natural suppplements. I am suggesting a NEW DOCTOR & New Start with his treatment. Try a search on the Internet Alternative treatments for ADHD. I know a friend of mine who's son had this, he was on the meds through most of his young childhood. Finally as he became a teen he complained about how the meds made him feel. They did seek another type of doctor who treated the symptoms without drugs. I can't remember the type of doctor. Her son is now 27 been off the meds since around 13.