D.D. asks from Arlington, TX on May 21, 2010
Activities for Newborn to Meet Friends
I have a 3 month old daughter that will be an only child. We do not have any family, friends or a neighborhood that has children our daughters’ age. Therefore my husband and I know that we need to get her involved in activities where she can meet other kids. I know she is only 3 months old (hehe), but I really want her to start being around other kids now. Right now my husband and I take care of her during the week so we do not have her in a daycare or with a babysitter. We are still in search of a church home. Once we do find a church, I know she will have the kids in church. I thought about getting her in Little Gym but you have to wait until they are 4 months old and then the classes are only two days a during the week at 9:15 am. They do not offer anything in the evenings or on the weekends for this age. I was told evening classes are not available until they are crawling. I am unable to do play groups during the day because I am a working mom. Not sure if there are other working mom’s with an only child (or that have more than one child) that are looking for the same thing I am. Are there play groups out there that meet in the afternoons during the week or meet on the weekends? Are there other activities out there for 4 month olds that I can put my daughter in and that cater to working moms?
I live in South Arlington, but not limited to just there. I can meet in the areas of Arlington/Kennedale/Mansfield/Burleson/Fort Worth.
More Answers
D.P. answers from Pittsburgh on May 21, 2010
Whooooaaaa, Mama! She's an infant! She will have little interest in "friends" at this age! You can look into local library lapsit story times and take her to the park to get fresh air on the weekends or in the evenings.
I have a 7 yo "only" son and believe me, you will be busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger in NO time! LOL
As she gets to Nursery school and pre-school she will make plenty of pals for weekend playdates!
Relax....she's just fine.
4 moms found this helpful
B.C. answers from Norfolk on May 21, 2010
Great ideas, but save them for when your girl is about 4 yrs old. Right now she needs to eat, sleep, have a clean diaper, adequate burping after meals, and lots of snuggling from you and Dad. Lots of exposure to lots of strangers (and their germs) right now is going to have you experiencing lots of bonding with other parents with sick kids in your pediatricians waiting room.
2 moms found this helpful
J.G. answers from San Antonio on May 21, 2010
My son's an only child. Now 2 yrs old. I'm at SAHM, so a little different, but I take/took him everywhere - the pet store, the library, the grocery store, and yes, church is the best place for kids his age. But socializing with adults and kids we see at the store is great too. We went to the park before he was old enough to play on the playground. I'd hold him and he'd watch the kids run around and play. I think just allowing your daughter multiple varieties of exposure to different ages of people, she'll be well socialized.
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R.J. answers from Seattle on May 21, 2010
She reeeeeally doesn't need friends right now. You do. But she doesn't.
She needs warmth, love, and security. Which is learned from getting her needs met (food when she's hungry, comfort and closeness of touch and being held, changed when she's wet, rocked, and loved, and talked to, etc.)
Other babies and small children/toddlers are completely incapable of meeting these needs (in fact, usually, they're counterproductive)...They're interesting... but so is a glass mason jar filled with water... so is singing... so is licking the couch. Those things also don't scream in her ears, pass diseases, pull her hair, pinch, scrape, gouge eyeballs, hit, kick, bruise each other up, knock each other over, and in other ways cause physical and emotional pain (ask any mum with twins or siblings)... all the things that infants and toddlers do to each other. She isn't capable of making friends right now. She IS capable of forming bonds with people... but those take hours and hours and hours over days and weeks and months. Even then... she'll still pitch a fit and want nothing to do with mommy or daddy or nana for awhile and only want ONE of them. (Those are hard phases whether you're the person needed or the person rejected).
You sound like a very caring mum. So keep those ideas in the wings for a couple years. Even at 2-3yo she'll mostly be doing "parallel play" and "copying".
Our kiddo's an only as well. And he's SUPER social. So don't sweat it just yet. Just love on her and provide that foundation of trust that friendships can be built upon later. Like Denise P... we're busier than a one legged man in a bum kicking contest. I have to look weeks ahead for playdates. Kiddo (7 going ong 8)has 6 really really good friends. And these were all made in the past 18mo (after moving). Which is another thing to keep in mind. Unless you're from a very very small town... she won't go to the same preschool with probably any of the babies you know or toddlers you'll meet later. And then they'll split up again when it's time for school. Not to mention people moving. So it's not like sibs... where she's going to be with them for years and years. People will be coming and going out of her life. There is no instant sibling option. So now is the time to form a rock solid foundation of love and trust with the people who WILL be in her life. You, your partner, grandparents, etc. People who will love her unconditionally so that she can weather the hitting, kicking, biting, and "I'm not your friend anymore!!!!"s in her future.
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L.S. answers from Dallas on May 23, 2010
Check out meetup.com. That's where I found my playgroup and many of them have specific focuses (I'm sure there is a working mom one in the area). Most good ones have waiting lists so check it out now, no need to wait! I agree that your baby does NOT need any interaction from anyone but you but YOU need to find some other mom friends and a network too...can't recommend meetup.com enough! It was a lifesaver for me!!
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D.S. answers from Miami on May 21, 2010
I am in agreement with Dana W. who posted below. I am a Child Development Specialist and I can tell you that until your child reaches about a year old, the best social interaction that they could have is YOU! Babies are fascinated by their parents, siblings, and family. That is their "social network" and that is what they need. Everything from rocking your baby, holding her, speaking to her, bathing her, reading and playing with her....this is what she wants and needs. Friends and outside social interactions come later. Even then, children do what is called "parallel play" until they understand the concept of sharing and can grasp a "give and take" connection to another child in their age range. Most of this forms during the toddler years and is solidified by age 3. Children will pick friends or have favorite playmates that they gravitate to or bond with by age 3. There is no real need for your baby to be going to a social affair, Baby Gym, or anything like that unless she is with YOU. Those things are great bonding efforts if she has you or someone close to her sharing the experience with her. Otherwise, do not waste your time and money on these things thinking that she NEEDS them. She does not. If she has to be placed in childcare while you work, that is fine. You need to do what you have to do. Make it only when you are working and not for any other reason. The best time spent for your daughter right now is with her parents and extended family. Love her, cuddle her, talk to her, and be with her as much as you can. Have baby....will travel! This is the best and most solid advice I can give you as a professional and also as a mother of two. I hope this helps.
1 mom found this helpful
L.K. answers from Philadelphia on May 21, 2010
Kids at her age do not socialized. Kids start socializing when the get to be around 3 years of age. However, if you want to socialize with other moms with kids of your daughter's age, you can search for a Meetup group close to you or having a music class or Saturdays. I had my 4 months old in music classes that had family classes on Saturday for the working parents. Likewise, go for a walk with you child to your community park, there, you will probably meet other moms with kids as young as yours.
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J.B. answers from Atlanta on May 21, 2010
At this age, check out The Music Class or Kindermusik. They usually have some weekend classes. Area YMCAs also usually have toddler and swim tot classes w/parents on the weekends. Also, when she's a year (she's REALLY not going to get into socializing right now, but it's nice to expose her to some music), check out Mom's Morning Out and 1/2 day preschool options in your area. My oldest son went to a half day preschool two-three times per week from age 1-4, and it was great for him to socialize, play and make friends. Our neighborhood also has a great playgroup situation for all ages -you should see if your area has anything like that -and we do have meetings sometime on weekends and evenings so working parents can come.
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