N.S. asks from South San Francisco, CA on May 25, 2008
Abscess on 2.5 Year Old's Rear
I took my daughter to the doctor's on Saturday for what I though wqas an insect bite on her rear end. Turns out it's an abscess. The Doctor who lanced and drained it suggested no more Pull-Ups or it might cause more problems?! My daughter is 2.5 years old and has no interest in the potty. When we got home from the hospital yeaterday my husband and I explained to her that her rear was not going to get better until she starts using the potty. We promised her a bike and helmet if she uses it. We put her in big girl underwear and except for last night that is what she has been in. Okay, after about a gazillion accidents she has not gone IN the potty one time. What do we do?!!!! It is like she does not realize that she is actually going to the bathroom. Any suggestions welcome...we have been "trying" this potty thing for over 6 months to no avail. Also does anybody have any advice on how to deal with the pain she is feeling due to this abscess and drainage? Tylenol just doesn't seem to making a difference. The Doctor squeezed us in during his lunch yesterday and seemed to be in a hurry...so little information was explained to me about it. Thanks in advance for the advice!!!!
So What Happened?™
First off I want to thank all you great moms and grandmas for responding to my request. I was at a point where I just wanted to cry, but you all brought me back! Second thing is I haven't put Kaylee in Pull-Up's (except at night) since Saturday. I took everyone's input and am dealing with the accidents and I think she's beginning to realize. Yet, we had a HUGE set back...she developed another abscess on the other rear cheek. It had to be lanced and drained today. Now baby girl can't sit at all. Epsom salt baths and standing is all that she can handle. This really put a hinder in the progress we were beginning to make with the potty. Yet, as of Wednesday, she is being a trooper and only had one accident. I bought the cotton training unddies today too!The doctor gave me some codeine for the pain and now she is asleep??? Once again thank you for helping me through this trying time in my life of motherhood!!!!
N.D. answers from San Francisco on May 27, 2008
The only way that I was able to potty train my children was to not wear anything on their bottoms! When something comes out of them without the panties it is very foreign and you make a game of it to get it into the potty.It changes the whole feeling and if you never associate anything but a fun attitude they won't be scared."This is where it goes!"Or,"you almost made it!" No matter how long it takes(usually 3 weeks) keep it light and never NEVER scold even when they have an accident in an inconvient place! Now that the weather is better and the fact that she can wear dresses makes it a perfect time for her to learn this way, good luck, N.
C.B. answers from San Francisco on May 27, 2008
Both myself and my granddaughter had the same thing. Mine on my rear end - hers on her stomach. One thing you should do is to soak it in a warm to hot bath a couple of times per day - that will keep it draining which is what you want to do. As far as the pain, I don't know what to say except that my heart goes out to her because it is painful! That may be one reason she's not trying to use the toilet. mine was just in the spot where when I sat on the toilet, I sat on it. Talk about painful! so the location of the abcess may be a hinderance at this point. I do think the big girl panties will help - a diaper rubbing against it can't feel good. As for the potty training, if it is painful to sit with the abcess, I don't think you're going to have any luck until the abcess becomes less painful which should happen fairly quickly as long as it is draining. I think that once the pain subsides and she realizes that you won't go back to diapers and she decides she doesn't like wet panties, she will come around. I truly suggest you listen to the doctor about the pull-ups. I know that when I wear nylon panties mine comes back!
S.L. answers from Fresno on May 26, 2008
Try epsom salt soaks to help draw anything else out and dry it up. Also keep her sugar to a minimum. If there are any diabetic tendencies in the family she may have trouble with sugar and this is how her body reacted. My daughter has this happen when there is extra stress (not enough sleep) and school and family members give her sugar when I'm not aware.
D.L. answers from San Francisco on May 26, 2008
N., I am a grandmother of five granddaughters responding to your question. They call me potty training grandma. My 2.5 grandaughter was not trained yet, and it was time. She could talk, walk and understand everything. My answer is to take the diapers away for good (the diaper fairy picked them up at my house to take them to the new babies). Spend a full day, don't leave. She only has pretty panties now, and she would not want to ruin those....I gave her three of the smallest M&M's when she went. It took 2 hours and then the rest of the day she made it. That was it. No diapers ever again. My three sons were all trained at 22 months. No excuses, it can be done. I hope this helps. I can't speak to the abscess, I have no medical .
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C.H. answers from San Francisco on May 26, 2008
For the potty training we used the 3 day potty training and it was a great jumpstart. We didn't have the deadline to absolutely be done by 3 days so I didn't stress about it, but it was a very good tool for me to use. There are two different ones and you can find both of them by searching on three day potty training and download the e-book. It will give you more understanding and more insight in what you can and can't do to speed up the process instead of just waiting for her to figure it out.
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T.F. answers from Stockton on May 26, 2008
Hi. Another mom on this forum suggested using the 3-day potty training method and it works. People always talk about how children aren't ready and it's really that they're not ready for the battle. That was my case for a long time. It's a battle when you go back and forth and back and forth. This lady's method gets your child out of those diapers, completely, and it sounds like your daughter really needs this to happen. As for the pain, I really don't know. I'd get on the phone and call the doctor's office and keep them on until all of your questions are answered. Best of luck to you!
Here is the site:
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B.C. answers from Modesto on May 26, 2008
To help heal the abcess, I would use a product called Silver Shield - it's a new patended colloidal silver, safe for children. There's a liquid form or a new gel that's great for external issues. (for questions, just contact me).
As far as the potty training, until they're ready it won't happen. But to encourage her to be ready, I agree with the others, make it a 'big girl' thing, and get her things like the pretty underwear is she's into clothes, or whatever makes her feel special. Good luck:)
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L.H. answers from Sacramento on May 26, 2008
I am so sorry your little one has such a painful sore. Please be careful with the Tylenol or Motrin - only give as much as is directed - I found out at the emergency room that it is very easy for parents with young children to overdose Tylenol, causing permanent liver damage. Epsom salts are great for drawing out the infection.
E.L. answers from San Francisco on May 26, 2008
I am so sorry to read about your baby-girl's abscess on her bum. The MD is right diapers will only make it worse, locking in moisture, having the abscess soak in pee. I think it is important for you to continue to drain it your self, & massage the general area to prevent any scar tissue from forming. When you drain (& yes I know it is not easy) if it has puss still you want to get that out, the white icky puss of the boil/abscess is the old bacteria & you don't want that in your daughter. If it just runs blood, that is good all that "bad" bacteria is gone. Support her healing by giving her lots of probiotics like whole organic yogurt, miso soup or raw sauerkruat also you can by probiotic powder at Whole Foods. This is a very important part in preventing this from happening again
Potty training can be very hard, however pee/pooh awareness is not so hard. What type of diapers are you using? The Pamper type keep babes extra dry longer due to the chemicals they put in the diaper/ This stay dry for hours can prevent your daughter from gaining true body awareness & all natural diapers like tushies or seven generations once they get wet stay wet, & most children do not like being & staying wet. Cloth diapers are even better for this because they can only hold one, @ the MAX two pees....Focus on body awareness with your daughter right now instead of Potty training which can be stressful. Show her the absecess with a mirror, talk to her about & show her where the pee & pooh comes from. Allow for more that typical nude time so she has nothing masking the real deal of her body & for your mental well-being when at home put her on the potty every 25 minutes & pay extra attention after she drinks & eats. Perhaps less snacks & non meal drinks so you can begin to gauge when she goes pee. If you are this type(I am not) write down every time she pees/poohs & have your hubby do it to, so you ca put her on the potty in time
K.V. answers from San Francisco on May 26, 2008
Wow, six months of trying t potty training & there's still not much success? I'd say take a break from it & let her absess clear up. As much as you're trying to not show your frustation, I'm sure it shows thru & I bet your daughter is frustrated as well. Sounds like she's just not ready & the 2 of you are beating your heads against a brick wall. Go back to it in a few months & maybe things will click & your daughter will be ready to potty train. As far as the absess pain, how about appying either cold or hot compresses on the absess? Hope she feels better soon! Good luck!
S.H. answers from San Francisco on May 26, 2008
Can't you cal your doctor on the phone? My pediatrician is with a group so that you can call in and if she isn't available, another pediatrician in the group would call within a half an hour. I suggest calling or getting a new ped if he isn't available to answer questions!