About the Seatbelt Law and Staying Home Alone

Could you explain to her why you're nervous (you do have a legitimate reason) and provide her with a carseat that you're comfortable with? I don't think you can ask her to go buy one, but she may be open to using one that you provide.

Good luck!
J.

As far as the carseat goes, you should provide the seat you want your child in. My parents take my 4yr old occasionally and we provide the seat and they have no problem with that. They actually prefer it because they know they are doing what is best for him. If you leave it up to her to provide a seat she may purchase what fits her budget or what she thinks would be sufficient(which according to manufactures is a simple booster seat).

I have not heard of a new home alone age law but there are good guidelines found on the Dakota County website.

It really depends on your comfort level, maturity level of child, ability to get ahold of someone in case of emergency and wether or not the child is comfortable being home alone.

www.co.dakota.mn.us/Departments/Attorney/FAQ/WhatAgeChild...

I'm grandma to a four year old and a six year old. About four years ago my truck was T-boned at an intersection. The truck was totalled with the passenger side door just inches from the driver seat; what had me shaking for months was realizing that if my grandson had been with me only a car seat with good side impact protection would have given my grandson a good chance of surviving the impact.

Needless to say, when grandma got home from he hospital I did some digging about car seats and found that most standard car seats have some side impact protection as required by law, while others have better than required side impact protection. There are "booster" seats from several manufacturers with side impact protection. I bought FOUR; two for my car, two for my daughter's car. I was particularly impressed with Britax brand and the style we selected runs under $100 each. Other brands offer similar protection about higher and lower price points.

Here's the thing: Grandma probably hasn't thought about side impact protection and she's doing what the law requires and usually that's enough. I just knew after my accident that *usually* wasn't going to be enough to make *me* keep me from having panic attacts while considering the risk of injury to a younger child in a booster seat that doesn't provide side impact protection.

My grandchildren will be using the Britax seats I purchased in my car until they are at least five feet tall and in the 80 pound range.

First, tell you MIL you love her very much and appreciate every wonderful thing she does for you and her grandbaby. Ask her for a special favor; would she please consider buying your child a car seat with side impact protection as a birthday present for you or your child. If budget is an issue, ask if she will go in with you on the seat for birthday or provide it yourself. Note that Britax in particular (I'm sure other brands do, too) offers several fabric choices. We have a "Jennifer" print (pink with flowers) and a boy appropriate Moo print. Show her some of the feedback here or google car safety seats and look at the issue of side impace protection.

The booster seat that you are talking about have been outlaw in all other countries except our because when tested the child would fly out of them because the seatbelt is holding on to the booster seat and not your child. When hit head on the it works but if you are hit from any other angle your child is in danger. The was report on 20/20.

I would make sure your mother in law know about this and give her the car seat when she goes. She shouldn't be upset with you for wanting to protect her grandchild.

As far as the booster seat goes, social conventions should never come before your child's safety and your peace of mind as a parent. Either buy a booster seat that your mother-in-law can keep in her car, or have her use yours when transporting your daughter.

As far as how to approach it, bring up your accident. Tell her that you are a little more cautious since the accident and you've done some reading and you'd prefer that your daughter was put in a booster seat with a back, at least until she is bigger. If your MIL gets offended by that, you've got bigger problems than the booster seat.

Never, EVER, ignore your gut feeling. You are your child's only advocate, and how you choose to raise your family is no one's business but your own. It sounds like you have a great relationship with your mother-in-law, so I doubt she'd be offended by you voicing your concern.

I would talk to your mother-in-law and say "hey, I was just reading an article, and it says *insert your concern here*". I talked with my pediatrician and she said that until children can sit with their butt against the back of the seat and their knees meet the edge at a 90 degree angle, they need a booster seat. My son is 8 and I still have him in a booster since his legs are too short to fit properly over the seat.

Definentely get her into a high back booster at least in Mother in law's car. A no back booster has no side impact protection, so in a crash there is nothing keeping your child in the belt really, especially a side impact crash. With a high back, the belt is properly on the shoulder as you can adjust the headrest, and the seat still contains the child with side impact.

I think safety is teh first priority. I would say exactly what you've said here--that you totally appreciate, love, and respect her, but since your accident, you really feel she needs the back. My inlaws are the type of people who tend to say, "It was good enough for the kids I raised (30 years ago); it should be good enough for your kids" but on the issue of carseats, they WILL NOT drive without a properly seated and belted child--despite what my sister-in-law has asked them to do! Is it possible she isn't even aware of what current thinking/rules are, and just knows your daughter needs to be in a seat, not recognizing the nuances? My son is over 50 pounds and he still has a back--and I like it that way. Do what feels safe and motherly to you--even if it means tackling a tough conversation w/ grandma.

There are booster seats with backs that hold the shoulder strap in a better position for a child. Ask your mother-in-law to check into the different types of seats. Explain to her that you realize you may be over sensitive because of your accident, but that you would appreciate it if she would make the change. Bring her into the decision making by finding out the options. Your daughter is her grandchild and she will want only the safest carseat for her, as you do. She is not only doing you a great favor by taking your daughter to classes, she is giving herself valuable time with your daughter. Seatbelt laws are state laws and the state laws cover the minimum of what is safe for a child.

The laws concerning children are also state laws, so do a search for the current laws in your state regarding when a child can be left alone. That would be the minimum age, it is always better if a parent who knows her child makes that decision with information only that parent really knows about that child, keeping in mind that the state law is the minimum and is not be right for every child.

You should buy the seat you want your daughter to use and give it to your m-i-l to have for her car. Just stating that you prefer her to be in this kind of seat.

i know that at 11 they are allowed to babysit, so i would guess that around that age is "legal" i was home alone with my older brother when i was 7 he was 10, but we couldn't do anything but our chores and watch tv and it was only for about 2 hours after school. I think it depends on the kid, and the area the home is in. my nephew is almost 11 and i still wouldn't think of leaving him alone. It depends a lot on maturity level. my sister ran into this issue as she is divorced, her ex husband was leaving the kids with his girlfriends son who was 11 and because that is legal age for babysitting in MN she could do nothing about it. The 11 year old was a very good kid but it still made her uneasy. I think you can call the Department of child services and ask them what the age is

I would buy one for her and tell her you found them on clearance. This way she would not feel like she has rules to follow, instead it was a gift. Plus you can use it for your future kids.

There are very few states in the U.S. with legal minimum ages for children home alone, but many state agencies have published guidelines. Georgia, Illiniois, Maryland and Oregon are a few of the states with specific ages mentioned in their laws.

12 years of age appears to be the most common recommendation. Below in Related Links is an article entitled Home Alone Children Legal Age Limits which provides a state by state comparison with references.

One guideline from a California child welfare representative suggests that 8 year olds and over can be left at home for a brief period of time (usually just after school).

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Our local newspaper actually had an article about kids staying home alone now that summer is here.

They said that 9 was the youngest you should leave your child alone and for a nine year old it is up to 2 hours. Anything after 2 hours becomes neglect. I have a 9 year old so I didn't pay much attention to the ages above that.

Kids in MN have to be in a 5 point harness until they are 4, but no legal weight requirement. The 40 lbs is a recommendation. It's not like your child will magically be okay in a booster when she gains two pounds but now it is a deathtrap. But if you aren't comfortable, buy another 5 point harness carseat and give it to your mother in law.

In the state of MN, there is no law that states when you can leave a child home alone. I recently attended a safety class with a Minnesota State Trooper and she said the recommendation was not until age 8 and not more than 1 hour at that age.

The Dakota County Attorney’s Office accepts the following guidelines for babysitters: It is acceptable for children ages 11 to 14 to baby-sit, with the expectation that the parent, guardian, or caretaker will be returning to supervise the children later that same day. It is acceptable for teens aged 15 and older to baby-sit younger children for more than 24 hours. If a child can babysit at that age, I think it is safe to say they can be home alone at that age, too.

In our house, we let our 8 year old stay home alone for less than 1 hour. We allow 11 year olds to babysit for less than 2 hours and 13 year olds less than 4 hours. An overnight babysitting requires an adult in our house. To be honest, I think it's a lot more about the child's maturity level than age. I have a very mature 8 year old and know she can handle it. There are some 11 year olds I have met who probably can't.

Good luck,
S.

Buy a car seat you are comfortable with and give it to her. You may get a funny look or even offend her, but it will pass. Would you rather have a funny look from your mother-in-law or a bad accident and your child gets hurt? You can't please everyone but you're the mommy and what you say goes.

I think it depends on the weight on the booster seats as well as your child's height. I have a booster for my 5 yr old that starts with a 30 lb weight-I did not start using it until Feb of this year so he was over that weight. As for your mother-in-law, just let her know how you feel. She may not know your concerns. If it helps, offer to buy a high back booster for her.

About me: SAHM of 3 children, two boys ages 5 and 3 and a 1 yr old girl.

I am pretty sure it is 4 and 40 pounds when you can stop using the 5 point harness . I know my daughter was just starting school when I started using a backless booster seat . Both my kids are very light so they stayed in a booster for a long time with the harness .
The other question they have to be 10 to stay alone only for 2 hours during the day time .To stay alone longer they have to be 12 . I have been told a 10 year old and another child over the age of 8 can be left alone for 2 hours during the day . I work in daycare and we had parents with children who go to school and it does not pay for them to pay for daycare for after school if they know they will be hope shortly after the kids get home .

Hi,

I'm sure your mother-in-law will understand when you explain what the law is, and that you are just a little more concerned about this since your accident. Also, explain to her that you really started thinking about it when you saw several posts on this site about how dangerous it is to not have the right seat for your child.

I don't know the laws about children staying at home by themselves, but parents need to remember that the age of a child is not the only factor that should be considered. Their maturity level should also be a concern when considering leaving them at home alone.

Have a great day!

C.

staying home alone... in my area there is no age, u can leave a child home alone whenever you want, but if something happens you can be charged with abandonment or anything else that they wanna try. My eldest is 9, she is very mature for her age, and do occasionally leave her home alone with my cell phone and only when my neighbor is home so if she does need anything there is help. An hour is the most I will leave her there by herself.

Hello,
I am not sure what to tell you about the carseat thing... My mother in law once tried to put my daughter in the car without a belt at all, on her lap. I was driving, and she was trying to get out of paying for parking for her car. we were only going across town, but I freaked. i am glad I was driving :) I was NOT afraid to say anything to her. I just firmly said Faith needs to have her own seatbelt. I then said if we are going to do this, an adult needs to sit in the back. (its an suv) So, my hubby jumped back there. Then the next day they took their own car :)

About the kids at home thing, I think it might be different guidelines for different area's. When I was trying to find a babysitter, I landed on a website for 4H they do babysitter training, cpr etc. I believe they had the law for Rice County on there. I would try searching for your county's 4H.

Just responding to the being left alone thing. It is 12 years of age and older in my area. To be left over night alone it is 16 and over. But again I don't know if that varies in different states or not. That is just the guidelines for my state. Found that out when searching for babysitters.

Also, I should note that recently there was a story on my local news of four girls under 12 being left alone together while the parents went out. Well the police were called for one reason or another (I believe it was they were playing in the backyard after dark and they got a noise complaint) and the parents got FOUR counts of child neglect so I really recommend you follow whatever your local law is to the T. I'm sure that lady thought four girls that were 11 could be alone for the evening and no one would care. That just wasn't the case regardless of how mature the children were. That is a pretty stiff charge for any parent!

I'm sorry to make this very short, I don't have much time, I'm not trying to be rude! I don't know about the staying home alone thing but when it comes to the car seat/booster issue it is something I feel VERY strogly about!!! Please scroll down when you are looking at this site and watch the video! It is a wonderful cause with wonderful information!!
You can NEVER be to careful! Show it to your MIL and express your concern. It is for your child, a conflict between you and her is indifferent when it comes down to it! Good luck!
http://www.kyledavidmiller.org/

You can get high backed booster seats for under $60. These are for 30# too 100. If your mother in law has your children a lot, it would be worth your buying a high backed booster seat for her to keep in her car... other wise, pass the one in your car back and forth when she is going to have her. Personally I would purchase a good high backed booster seat for her to keep in her car, I am sure she would use it and we know that our children are priceless. I really like a Evenflo one which seems to have more padding on the seat then some of the cheaper ones. It also has lighs on it which is good if you are in the car at night. High backed ones help keep the shoulder belt in place and keeps them safer then the backless ones.