A Seperate PTA for Different Races?

Did you ask if you could join them? If you did, or do, you should be prepared to accept that their meetings probably aren't in English.

I don't think their motives are bad. In fact, I think that cultural barriers are making it hard for you to empathize and understand their reasoning.

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Hi Debbie,
I read your note about the PTA and it's obvious you're really upset by the situation. I would ask that you step back for a second and consider why the Korean parents started their own group: they weren't being heard and represented. And, in fact, no one really noticed them (including you) until they began their own group. That happens a lot when we, in our white middle class culture fail to be sensitive to cultural differences. Maybe the Korean parents were more quiet in meetings, maybe they prefer a different leadership structure, maybe there were other cultural differences that we didn't understand. At the moment you are feeling angry, etc. because now YOU feel descriminated against. That is what spurred them to form their own group. Usually it's not them trying to get back at us (the main group) but rather to take care of their own needs: they wanted to be involved but couldn't do it as part of the main group. I agree that one, united organization is best for everyone. But that requires understanding and some give and take on the part of the main school culture who don't always welcome or understand other cultures. Maybe you could encourage some intercultural understanding to unite the groups? Plan some common activities like a pot luck dinner for people to begin to know each other as individuals, not just as "The Koreans" etc. Your feelings are right on, so try to use them to create that unity you feel so strongly about.

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You must follow your heart, that is the only way our children will learn about commitment, choice and equality. Call the local ACLU office as ask for a free consultation on this matter. No school can accept federal funds if there is discrimination involved, think women's sports issues. Please send your message to: ____@____.com she is a very wise woman on these matters. I care about your concerns, they are valid! E. Hill ____@____.com

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I have read some of these respones and can't believe what i have read. I welcome people from all over the world but when they come to AMERICA legally, they must expect to become Americans not continue to bring there cultures with them to main stream society. In their homes thats fine but when they are asking for special treatment because of their countries orgins, no way. If I go to another country being American I can't expect them to make sure they know my culture, speak my language and expect them recognize my holidays. I must conform to there ways and culture. And for me not to would be disrespectful! So for those of you out there think that what this group is doing is ok, re-evaluate your opinion. This Is AMERICA~!!!

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It's appalling, I completely agree. I have a bit of experience in this subject only because I had a long relationship with a wonderful Korean man and witnessed how their culture, generally speaking, works. I became very close with his mother and began learning to speak the language so we could communicate. I soon noticed that his family only associated friendly and business-wise with other Koreans, I'm talking they have a Korean phone book to be sure and always hire Korean Plumbers, Realtors, Gardeners, eat at Korean owned Restaurants, shop at Korean owned Markets... I was told by my boyfriend that Koreans run in a real tight circle and only wish to support each other! This is slightly shocking and it is definitely prejudice when it comes to alienating other races in such a public manner as the P.T.A. If I were you I would go to the super intendant. Are there any other mothers who would be willing to back you up? You may also ask to be anonymous if that would work? I don't know, but it's a terrible situation... Best of Luck

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Pleast read this, then read my response.

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING (Written by a former child) A message every adult should read, because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say. When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one. When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals. When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life. When you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I knew there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in God. When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other. When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't. When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given. When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up. When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry. When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be. When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up. When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, 'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.' I AM SENDING THIS TO ALL OF THE PEOPLE I KNOW WHO DO SO MUCH FOR OTHERS AND THINK NO ONE EVER SEES. LITTLE EYES SEE A LOT ! Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher or friend) influence the life of a child. How will you touch the life of someone today?

I don't know what school you are referring to, but this is The U.S. Turn them into the state. Demand, yes I said demand that all are treated equal.

This type of stuff has to stop, this is what is bringing the U.S. to it's knees.

If it does not stop, start a law suit, or a class action. The PTA is there to represent and help take care of our school chilrens needs. Not the needs of the parants. What small minded idiots would split and/or accepts such a thing?

Why is your child still in this school? The school doesn't have the best interest of the child at heart, the way it is supposed to be. This is political and needs to stop now!

You are deffinately right to question. No you need action. Don't set aside what is one of the very foundations of this country! You have either stepped into a mess and going to accept it or you were thrust back to the 20th century.

Sorry, this is your call. You know what is right and what is wrong. Do the right thing! Don't let your child grow up in this type of enviornment!

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You're right, I am appalled in hearing that the school allowed separate PTAs for different nationalities. My children are a mix of Caucasian and Asian. I agree with your reasoning that the goal and main focus are the children.
Anyways, you may want to research on school policies and also the city or state's policies on that issue. Having a separate PTA exclusive to a particular race is discrimination (in my opinion) and should not be allowed in any type of organization.
Good luck and hope the problem will be resolved.

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My response is similar to yours. I am stunned. I think you need to call your school board members at the district level and inform them of this happening. If you get no answer than call your nearest newspaper and shame the so called educators into being accountable. I am a grandma of four who likes to read this site. I am a retired school teacher and schoolcouncilor of some 40 years. I worked in private and public schools in three states, Connecticut, New York City and California and I have never heard of anything like this.
L. G, Pasadena

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You need to contact your National PTA or PTSA district office about this because it is discrimanation, which is not something they ascribe too, Any dealing with the actual school is going to be infavor of whomever provides them with the most money, but my guess is they are only calling themselves a PTA when the are probably not paying dues to the actual organization that is PTA/PTSA which is trademark violations.....and if they are in good standing the organzation has no idea that it's for "Korans" only and nobody else is allowed in....I wish I still had my PTA books to give you the exact info that you need but, I no longer have them, sorry....does your district have a borad of Presidents that also meets? (That would be where each elm school sends their individual PTA/PTSA President to a meeting to meet with the other local Presidents) Maybe they can help you, they should have a copy of all the rules, regs and by-laws that by which a PTA/PTSA is governed. This is really truly distrubing to hear, and something needs to be done about it immedantly. For as a past President I know PTA/PTSA is based on the children, and not discrimnation....please keep in contact, let me know what happens, and if you need any assistance with this matter I will help you if I can.....

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I'd be really upset about this too. My 9 year old son is not only the only black child in his class but also the only white child (he's bi-racial). Most of the children in his school are Armenian, Hispanic and Asian. We already feel left out most of the time because of this. I find it really hard to socialize with other parents but the good thing is, my son doesn't seem to have a problem finding friends and fitting in. I don't think this issue is about the kids at all. I feel it's a problem with the parents. If this 'separation' isn't producing positive results for all of the children, then something should be done. Especially with Martin Luther King Jr. day coming next Monday! If we aren't good role models for the kids, how are they going to learn?

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I would be very upset as well and contact the ACLU which I noticed at least one other person suggested. The chapter for LA can be reached at:
ACLU of Southern California
Executive Director: Ramona Ripston
1616 Beverly Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90026
Phone: ###-###-####
Email: ____@____.com

Send them an email, follow up with a phone call and see what happens. Good luck.

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Debbie,
Yikes! Sounds like a nightmare- separation of children in a school community is a terrible thing. Still, I ask you to consider the point of view of Korean families (parents and children) who felt they were not represented at the school. I'm certain they tried many times to become involved through the regular ways (which were set up for middle-class White children) an then thought the best option was to begin their own group. These fundraisers which upset you still benefit the whole school, as all children benefit from the money raised.
I can see why you are very upset and I would be too- I would be angry that people feel left out of the school and that would include the Korean families and now you. I think it's good that the school acknowledge all families and cultures and I would encourage you to not give up on starting cross-cultural play groups where the mixed groups at your school can learn about each other's cultures. I don't think your children will become outcasts if you bring this up. In fact, your children will benefit from the interaction in the long run.
I wish you well and keep up posted as to what happens.
Take Care,
F.

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You could try to join the Korean PTA, I believe it would be the ACLU that would help with a case such as this. It is not legal, the school taking money from this group could creat a huge conflict with the school because what other perks does this group receive, real or perceived from their large donations?

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I really hate to say this, but some minorities are trying to stay within their own culture (I'm a minority as well). This actually happened at my mom's church. One of the minority groups decided to build their own church behind the current church. No one in the church knew what was going on, but when they found out, they complained and the minority group ended up building their church in another city.

I can understand people not wanting to lose their culture, but I don't think the school should support a separate PTA. If I were you, I would complain to school officials. I know it will be difficult, because school districts are all about money, but this just isn't right. The group at my mom's church also had a lot of money (they were able to buy additional land adjacent to the church), but if higher officials hear about this, they might reconsider.

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WOW! I am on the board at my daughters school and nothing like this would happen there. If this is a public school call the Board of Director right away and get a meeting with him/her.

Good Luck!

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Hi Debbie;

Welcome to our nasty world, I was also victim of this discrimination in my school PTA. I have raised my four children in public school in a very expensive house in West Torrance Area. I am also a home mom and my can afford to support all of us because he has hiw own business in Computer Imaging System. I was involved in PTA and took some position and I notice that mostly of the officers in board is all american and blonde ladies. Some of them are very strong personality as I can they're feel insecure with themselves and un educated person. I am in this group for 15 years but even one of recognition which I am not hungry for it was never recognized of my volunteerism to this school and community because all of this white american ladies wanted it all for themselves even thought they're not the one who work and coordinated some of the project and work. I think PTA is a joke and politics which I am not interested to be around with those people because I rather to focus on my family and we have our own rental business. But since my passion in life is volunteerism even thought I am busy with my children and business, I still do my job and prove to them that I can handle lot of things very well. Imagine the PTA and the board of directors try to stop me to run the first project in elementary about school-savings program but I managed to run it and prove to them that it depends on who will be the chairperson and how this person can run this project. I think by teaching our children the value of money at younger age, it is important how they think and behave with their money. I have lot of response with parents and they help me and go through the whole year while I am in elememtary. It is a battle but I prove to them that I can do it and be responsible with all the things I do and delivered the money to the bank without any problem with children money. I took the responsibility with pride when I perform my volunteer job because other people will recognized me as what I do to help my child but also for those students from school. I realized that this is the real world, I can do what I would like to do and not to be intimidated from anyone. I don't have a support from school system either but I fought for it. I think the american school system is turning into a money business, because the PTA gives a nice gifts to school staffs and expensive too. Thank god that I am done with my elementary child and I am helping him in high school fundraising but totally different and not in PTA anymore. I don't even join and volunteer in PTA in high school because it is the same ladies that I battle in elementary. I stay away from them and do all my volunteer job only with my son group. Besides I am busy with my business to run and my energy is only goes to my group that has a positive mentality and not in a negative group. Mostly of those ladies are jeslous and insecure with themselves also. We still have a strong discrimination especially with asian immigrants. Mostly of this Korean people are also insecure because they don't speak english fluently and this is what makes them segragate themselves. But reality in life, they should not behave like that because they're in america already but our world has full of crazy people. Mostly of this segragation is having with different cultures because the american people are still doing and started it. My advise to you, is try to do what can you do in school and move on and keep your insanity and heads up. You cannot win with this situation because the school staffs are back and supported this group. Don't even fight with them and just try to make your group more appealing and good group in order to go by and finished your duty. Sometimes in life is not fair but what can you do. Unless you can talk and negotiate with Korean PTA President to consolidate and work together with peace and harmony for the sake of children,school,parents because explain to them that we are only one world and round that we suppose to get along with each other. See how it works and good luck. Keep praying for this kind of people because I believe in god and things works miracles if you have faith in god.

Take Care,
A

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Dear D., i want to ask you a question, if you think that what you have run into is hard, then answer me this. What if you were a middleeastern person, even a muslim. Trying to raise your children in California. Im not sure what your response would be, but if you would like to respond then please do so. I do feel what you are saying, but maybe these people were not being recoginized like they should have been. I would also like to comment about our PTA, this is our fist year in public shcools, i found this, our PTA is money hunrgy controlling women. And this is my sons first year, my husband has his own business and we are pretty well off, i could have donated tons of money to them, but i remember asking them a question and never ever got a phone call back. I have 3 children who will be attending that shcool, i can tell you this, i will not be involved in that organization, cause they are a bunch of catty women who are control freaks. Maybe this is how these Korean women at your shcool felt about your PTA. I wish we as women as mothers can stand together and change this world, but unfortunataly we cant, it seems nobody is listening. At Christmas time at my sons school, they celebrated everything from Christmas, Hanukka even Kwansa, but not one mention of our holiday. I had to explain to my child so many things and made him understand, but as a 5 year old, he also wanted to know why he wasnt being recoginized. This is a battle that i know, we will be fighting through all our school years, its also a battle that we may never win. Its very hard for Americans to accept other people, you are one of the few who can accept, but me being on the otherside of the spectrum, i can tell you that its hard, i hope that my children dont pay the price.
Good Luck, and take care. I hope it works out for you!
A.!

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Dear D.:

No- I am not shocked. Not at all.
I am the mother of two, grandmother of 6 and auntie of 18 nieces and nephews. I live and work in China, but I am American born and raised.

Koren families often will do this in any country they go to and so do Americans...British...Muslim...and more. Until you are an expat you will not fully understand this. Because they want to maintain their culture and they want to get their needs met...which are not at all the same needs as yours. It may seem they are, but they arent.

Asian thought is very different than western thought. Their philosophy of raising children, family, and everything couldn't be more different than yours. They need a community to make sense of and bounce their issues off of. They would not resaly be heard in a western venue..much like a chicken talking to a duck. You can hear the sound..and it may sound urgent.. but not really understand the meaning or significance.

I am sorry they are closed, however. It would be excellent to be able to share their cultural values and you sound like someone (and your cuban friend) who would welcome that.

It is hard to learn that most of the world does not share our multiculturalism. Rather than a melting pot.. most countries are like a salad where all pieces exist separately...but make one dish. Yes- you would think they would rather get along, but they do feel safer...and I do mean safer... in their own communities. It isnt an issue of snobbbery or exclusionism. Not to them.

I would like to ask you how many Koren families you have gotten to know...have in your home...and your daughter plays with?

Living in culture that is not my own I have a unique understanding (not rationalization because I waas raised like you and completely understand your indignation) of this.

Please give these things some thought.

Dear D.,

Now listen here deary. They have a right to be in a separate 'PTA' if they want to.

One of the things about the Korean Culture is that they do have a problem communicating with other cultures. They are just wonderful warm people, but it is something that they learned a looooong time ago in order to survive.

People who Immigrate from their home country are very strong and hardworking and caring people. Believe it or not. There is a serious reason for their decision to move to the United States from Korea. Think about it. Read about the history of Korea, especially the recent history.

You need to be friendly and smile and get to know at least one person by name and start there with your introduction to their culture and their introduction to our culture. Show them respect and be dignified. THAT is one thing that is very important in both of our cultures.

Umhum, Yes, it is. C. N.

I agree this is WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!! Would we be allowed to have an ALL WHITE PTA??? No Way!!! I think you should contact the ACLU and let them handle it. And, file a complaint with the Superintendent of your school district and possibly even with the state.

Can I ask where this school is?
I think you should contact your local newspaper and let them know what is going on. This is outrageous discrimination.

Hi D., I have read alot of the responses and everyone has their own opinion and that is great. Although this matter needs immediate attention you should handle it the right way. Going to the superintendent was probably a waste of time because the PTA is a separate entity. I dont know if your on the PTA but maybe you should go to one of your school site council members and ask them to take this up at their next board meeting. The Korean PTA might not think they are doing anything wrong, so first try talking to them, ask what kind of fundraisers they are gonna do, when their next meeting is. I am on my daughters PTA and only wish that more parents wanted to be involved in this amazing program. And if the Korean PTA is donating alot of money to your childs school you should be happy, your child is benefiting as well. Yes that is the main goal of the PTA, to make school fun and education for our children. Money is a huge factor when trying to do that because the PTA bears alot of responsibility for that. I really hope that you and the other parents are willing to find a middle ground and not do anything to drastic that may in the end hurt the children..