A Little Disrespectful

Updated on May 11, 2010
L.B. asks from Wellston, OH
6 answers

I am a single mother with a 7 year old son. His father and I divorced when he was very young, but still is very active in my child's life. Recently, my son has started to behave very differently. He doesn't want to what he's told, backmouths me, is extremely sarcastic, and even has begun to get into trouble at school. He can still be very polite and mannered at times, but for the most part is drastically changing. I never condone his behavior, and correct and punish him when he does act like this. Is this normal for a 1st grade boy? What can I do to point him in the right direction?

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A.W.

answers from Lafayette on

Hmmm...sounds like a child to me...oh..he is a child...maybe that's why...LOL. Ok, let me be serious for a second. Kids these days are growing up much faster than we did when we were kids. They learn more sooner than we learned, they develope faster than we developed. Think about how you were when you were a teenager. That's how 5, 6, and 7 year olds are acting now. As man kind advances so does child kind. It sucks, but it happens. Peer pressure starts sooner. They get boyfriends and girlfriends sooner. Back when I was a kid, a teen pregnancy usually involved a 16 or 17 year old. Now kids as young as 12 are getting pregnant. Be strict, be firm, set rules and enforce them, and above all, be consistant.

R.D.

answers from San Francisco on

Most children have a change in attitude at this time due to peers at school, and how they see other children act. Along with the fact that his father is still active in his life. Now that he is older it is possible that your ex is allowing him to do things that you wouldn't. If the two of you are still friends "so to speak" I would ask him what he is letting your son do while with him. Does he discipline him when he does wrong or does he just let him away with it? I do think you will see a change in him, kids at school can play a big role in a child's life. Has he had friends over to visit? To you approve of his friends etc. These are all things that you have to look at. When he doesn't do what he is told by you, then something should be taken away from him, something that is a favorite. Even sending him to his room for a time out. If you want to point him in the right direction first speak with his father, if the problem isn't there then if you have time, go to his school, see who he plays with during their breaks' etc. and you may find something there that he is just repeating. You want to catch it now because as they get older, get away with things, it will only get worse. Now that he is in school his time with his father is probably narrowed down some and he is feeling hurt. Talk to him, let him know that you love him unconditionally, but let him know that he is hurting your feelings acting the way he is, when he does. Ask him if he would like you to treat him that way, give him something to think about.
Take care, I hope his father is disciplining him, some fathers' feel that they are losing their children because they are growing up. Pls. talk to him first, and maybe if you feel that he would, tell him to have a talk with him as well.
I wish you all the luck and I am sure things will change for the better.

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K.H.

answers from Indianapolis on

I have an 8 year old son, he is going through a lot of the same things, and he's picked up a lot of that behavior from our neighbor's kid who is 7 and really acting out in disrespectful ways, has a smart mouth, back talks and gets in trouble at school. I think some of it is normal behavior for kids their age. I do think, however, it is important to have open dialog with him to let him know that is not acceptable and that their will be consequences. I have started taking away priveledges. I give him a few warnings and then I enforce what I told him from the beginning. I also make it a punishment that will hurt (not physically). I know he loves to play x-box and I know he loves to play with his friends and he HATES to be sent to his room. Those are the things that I usually fall on. After the punishment has set in we do talk about the situation again to make sure he understands. He goes through periods were he is better and then falls back, which I think is normal. They do pick up so many bad habits from friends in the neighborhood and school. I wish you luck. Let me know if you would like to talk more about this - I certainly know where you are coming from. ____@____.com

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K.W.

answers from Evansville on

My son (10) started this behavior just this year. I also do not condone it and punish as needed. In fact, one of his punishments was to write one of my friends a letter of apology for his rude behavior.

I guess it can really start at any time. Sometimes I think my son is just testing me and seeing what he can and can not get away with. Sometimes he's just trying to be funny and doesn't realize what he says is rude or hurtful.

I think you should just continue to do what you are doing and let him know that it is now acceptable. Take Care & Goodluck!

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M.E.

answers from Lexington on

all kids go through a disrespectful period. some sooner than others...and once it's over, it'll start again when he's a teenager...lol. but if it's just started all of a sudded, there might be something else might be going on. maybe he's being bullied at school or is upset with his dad about something. you just need to sit him down and talk to him about his bahavior and try to see what is causing the change.

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S.

answers from Louisville on

I don't know if it's really warranted or not, but you might want to check out some counseling if you can.

The upcoming marriage might also be causing some disturbance. Often an ex will stir the pot when the other person gets someone new in their life or if a long term relationship solidifies.

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